Arms
by Virginia May
Summary: After witnessing the brutal murder of her parents, sharpshooter & former Olympian Bella Swan is forced to live under a new identity as a high school student in tiny Forks, WA. Will unexpected feelings for the wrong man be her undoing or her salvation? AH
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N:**__ This is one of those plot bunnies that would just not be silent. It hit me while struggling to work through the last few chapters of "What Drives Her", and while I'd hoped to finish WDH completely before sharing this with you, I've grown impatient. :)_

_A big, huge thank you to __**SueBee0619 **__for stepping up to the beta plate for me, and to __**107YearOldVirgin**__ for recommending her! Thanks go as well to __**StellaBlueBella **__&__** ElektraLane**__ for pre-reading the early chapters for me. What can I say? I wouldn't have been brave enough to share this at all without your combined support! xxoo_

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**_Warning!__ This story is AU-All Human, & rated M for a reason. __ Some scenes, including the opening scene of this story, describe graphic events and/or gun violence which may be upsetting to some readers. Please read with caution. _**

_**Disclaimer:**_ _**I do NOT own Twilight, Christina Perri's song entitled, "Arms", or the Olympic Games. **_

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Chapter 1:

I stare straight ahead. Frozen. The sight before me is beyond grotesque. Horror movies have nothing on real life. I realize now that even the first-rate films have failed to capture what human blood looks like when it's spilled in this volume; thick, dark, flowing freely, and congealing as it goes. They've failed to properly duplicate the sickening gurgling sound of air rasping through a gaping chest wound. They cannot convey the scent of metal and salt hanging heavy in the air.

I've never even noticed that blood has a scent to it before. It does, and it twists my stomach. Or maybe it's the sight of the utterly still bodies in the room that makes me retch.

My father's face flashes through my consciousness and I know for a fact that this was never his intent when he taught me to use a firearm. He educated me about guns because, in his job as a law enforcement officer, they were going to be in our home. He wanted me to be safe. He wanted me to know –not to have to wonder- how they worked. He wanted me to understand what made them dangerous and experience the power of them. He wanted me to learn how to act around them and how not to act around them. And he taught me all of those things hands-on.

In the hope of preventing a future tragedy born out of mere curiosity, he put a gun in my hands for the first time when I was little more than ten years old. It gave me the respect my father desired for me to have by scaring the ever loving tar out of me as soon as I pulled the trigger. That might have been it for me. _Boom!_ –one shot and I'd be too scared to ever touch a gun again. Most kids would have that reaction. Not me. Not after looking out at the target to see that the single shot I'd taken had gone right through the bulls-eye.

I look over at my dad now, hoping for a moment to see the look he gets in his eyes when I've made the perfect shot. I regret it immediately and the bile rises in my throat. I barely avoid vomiting and back up against the wall, sliding to the floor in a heap. My father's loving and handsome face is twisted in a grimace. It's practically unrecognizable as belonging to the man who both coached me to an Olympic gold medal and sang me to sleep when I was scared the night before my first day of Kindergarten. His once bright eyes are now dull, but open and locked on my mother.

I wonder if he was hoping I could save her. I know he thought he could always count on me. And even though I did manage to get to the small revolver he kept hidden in our foyer, I know I let him down. Then again, the quick draw was never my event. My father knew that. I hope he would have been proud of me just the same. I did manage to nail the son of a bitch who shot my mom, even if it was a moment too late. If only she hadn't fought for me. If only she'd stayed still.

_Oh, mom..._

I can't bring myself to look anywhere near her. Her face during the final moment of her life is already etched in my memory; her expression desperate with fear and rage, her normally bright blue eyes wide and reddened from tears. I'll never forget how they lost focus as the gunshots rang out. I'll never be able to erase the weak, but brave smile she tried to offer me as she sunk to the ground.

I feel my eyes gravitating towards that spot. Knowing I don't want to see her like that again, I try to find something else to focus on. I realize the television is still on. I know that it must have been my beautiful, carefree mother watching tonight because one of the judges from So You Think You Can Dance is waxing philosophical about contemporary jazz while a couple of dancers in wild costumes are smiling ear to ear. The girl is wiping tears from her eyes.

I look away and blink. Odd, I don't notice any of my own tears falling. I frown, knowing I should be hysterical right now. I should be crying, screaming, wailing for God and everyone else to hear. But I can't. I can't feel anything at all.

I think I'm might be in shock. The more I think about it, I realize that must be the case. I try to cry, but I can't. I try to look away from the dark red blood that's now spreading across the floor. I try to move away from it, I try to lower my arms, I desperately try to drop the weapon in my hands, but I can't. I can't move a muscle.

When the police finally show up, I'm still sitting slumped against the wall with my father's revolver trained on the exact spot where his killer previously stood. I think I hear someone mention the FBI. I think I hear someone gasp, "No, not Charlie". I think I hear my name as well, but I'm not sure. Now in addition to being unable to move, the rest of my senses are dull.

The custom handgun I bought for my father for his last birthday is pried from my fingers. Someone shines a light in my eyes and speaks to me. I blink.

The eerie calm of the last long minutes is shattered and the room becomes disturbingly chaotic. There are more voices now. More lights shining in my eyes. I begin shivering as a dizzy feeling overwhelms me. A blanket is placed over me. I'm lifted and moved into a chair. My name is called again. I nod.

_Yes, I'm Detective Charlie Swan's daughter._

_Yes, my name is Isabella._

There are more questions. I don't know the answers. It leads to more questions.

_No, I don't think this is my blood. _

_No, I'm not hurt. _

If I was hurt I would be in pain, right? But I can't feel anything. I'm so cold.

There are more questions, more voices, but suddenly I'm not only cold and dizzy, but I feel like I can't breathe. I feel like I'm falling.

I try to push out of the arms that catch me. They feel wrong. Foreign. They are not my father's arms. I want these arms to let me go, but I lack the strength to make them. I suck in a gasping breath and a single agonized cry escapes my lips before I mercifully surrender to the darkness.

~(~)~

I feel like I'm finally waking up from a horrific nightmare. Except, when I open my eyes to the muted dim of another grey and rainy day, I remember that the nightmare is real and won't end, not even in my waking hours.

It's been eight weeks since the night my life as I'd known it ended. It's been a little less than two weeks since I stopped reliving the event over and over every night in my dreams. The medication Dr. Cullen recommended for me after I arrived here took some time to work to its full effect. Even once it kicked in, he warned me that it may be a little longer for my body to recover from being so sleep deprived. I stretch beneath the sheets and realize he was right. I do feel better, which sort of irks me. I've had a full-on case of survivor's guilt and part of me doesn't want to be free of the dreams that replay the horrors of that dark November night.

The night my parents were murdered in cold blood, the night I let them die.

I sigh and tell myself again that it's not healthy for me to think about it like that. I know there's nothing else I could have done. I also know that torturing myself will do no good. I think idly that my parents wouldn't want me to do so. And I'm reminded regularly that if I want to bring those who are responsible for their deaths to justice, then I have to stay sane, healthy, and safe.

I look out the window and wonder again why that means that I also had to be sent to live in the rainiest, dreariest, most depressing town I've ever been in. Maybe it wouldn't be so depressing if I were used to living in the cold and the rain. But I'm not.

I miss Phoenix. I miss the heat and the dry. I miss the sun and the white-blue sky. I miss the desert, and dry air, and the color brown. I miss the little stucco house I bought not far from my parents' place. I miss my xeriscaped lawn and my solar-heated pool. I also miss my king size bed quite a lot too. I stretch in my new bed again and think there's just about nothing I wouldn't give for one more night in my Tempur-Pedic. Then I think that's not even close to being true.

There's only one thing I would give anything for, and that would be to have my mom and dad back. To have never had to set foot in tiny Forks, Washington.

I roll my eyes. Who names a town Forks? I get the whole thing with the fork in the two rivers, but it just sounds weird. And I feel weird saying it. Almost as weird as I feel living here, or pretending to be a seventeen year-old foster child.

There's a quick knock on the door and a soft voice reminding me that I have school today. Reminding me that I am indeed impersonating a teenager. Reminding me that I'm no longer a twenty-three year old college graduate and former Olympic champion, that I no longer have my own life. I have no job, no family, no opportunity to go to another Olympics. I don't even have my name anymore. It's all gone.

My entire life has been replaced by a charade; a necessary charade, but a charade nonetheless.

Groaning, I sit up. I catch sight of my reflection in the mirror across the room and think it's a good thing that my new "foster parents" haven't seen me like this. Surely the dark circles and bags under my eyes would give me away. I'm still not convinced that anyone will buy that I'm under eighteen. But the U.S. Marshals assigned to protect me seem to think so and are convinced it's the best way to keep me alive. They've never lost anyone who trusted in and cooperated with them, so I have to believe that this might just be crazy enough to work.

From the moment the authorities arrived on the night my parents were murdered, I was considered to be a key witness in a long-standing federal case against an internationally wanted Romanian crime family. Apparently they had recently begun activities in Arizona and one of my father's officers stumbled across a gold-mine of incriminating information. When the officer involved showed Charlie what he found, my father made a few calls around town and did some digging before turning everything over to the feds. Somehow, the Romanians found out my dad was asking after them and decided to try and buy him off at gunpoint. When he refused, they threatened my mother, and when I revealed my presence in the house that night it all went horribly wrong.

My stomach twists in knots at the memories and I'm glad that I have something else to focus on for the day. Not that the thought of going back to high school doesn't have me worried, because it does. I remember it all too well from the first time around: the cliques, the drama, the uninteresting homework. Then there were the patronizing teachers who I'd always had a hard time being patient with even when I went through high school the first time. How was I supposed to deal with that now that I'd been to college? I'm old enough to be working on my Master's degree, not relearning the square root of pi.

I shower and dress, making sure my attire is suitably appropriate for a seventeen year-old. It's my first day, so I choose casual clothes –some jeans and a plaid shirt, making sure to wear long sleeves underneath since I'm likely to freeze to death in this climate. I hastily dry my hair and keep it down, but put in a narrow headband. I apply only a touch of clear mascara and a little lip-gloss to my face. I feel almost naked as I evaluate myself in the mirror. The naked feeling isn't for the lack of make-up as I rarely wear a lot anyway; I'm just afraid these kids are going to see right through me. They'll never believe I'm one of them. Will they?

I pick up my bag and head downstairs to deal with my foster parents first. At least they don't expect me to act like any other normal teenager. I'm thankful that they at least know some version of the truth wherein I was orphaned after witnessing my parents' deaths. They know I've been traumatized. They just don't know the extent of it. They don't know how or why my parents died, or that I myself shot two people in the process. They don't know that I'm a federal witness still at risk. And if we're all very lucky, they'll never know.

When I reach the kitchen, Esme Cullen is busy washing some dishes. She's made breakfast and what looks like a lunch for me, which is sitting out on the counter. I wish she wouldn't go to any trouble at all where I'm concerned. I imagine that I'm no different from any other foster child in that respect. The fact that the last person to make me a lunch for school died not long ago just hurts. That seems to happen whenever she does something even remotely mother-like. I notice she's made coffee and set up her laptop on the kitchen table. A pang of grief hits me seeing that as well. My father often used our family table as his desk. It drove my mom crazy since he had a real desk in the den.

"Good morning, Anna Bella," Esme says, interrupting my memories. She turns from the sink and smiles kindly at me. I have to give her credit. Were I an actual teenager in need of a new mother figure, she'd be perfect. She's patient and kind and never pushes me too hard. I wish I could relax more around her, but I feel odd and out of place most the time. I also feel guilty that I'm living a lie right underneath her nose.

"Morning," I say quietly.

"Carlisle wanted me to wish you luck today," she answers brightly. "He had to leave for the hospital already, of course."

I nod and say thank you.

"I felt like having a real breakfast this morning since I have a meeting at lunchtime. I made scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, and whole wheat toast. The eggs have some veggies in them. I hope that's okay."

"That's fine, thank you." I try to smile, but it's hard. All I really want is a strong cup of coffee, a banana, and to go home. But I have a feeling that telling Esme any one of those things would make her frown and I just can't bear that.

As I take the plate she's offering me in my hands, I wonder not for the first time how she will feel when and if she ever finds out that I'm not who I say I am. Or who the state says I am, I suppose. Will she and Dr. Cullen be upset that I'm not really Anna Bella Dwyer? Will they feel used and resent ever letting me into their home? What if the people who are looking for me find me and they end up hurt? Will they hate me?

I decided when I came here two weeks ago that it's less likely they'll hate me if they don't get too attached to me. I also decided it would help if I lie to them as little as possible, which means interacting with them only when it's necessary. I've always been a quiet person, but since my parent's deaths I've allowed myself to grow more introverted. I think that will work to my advantage with the Cullens. They're wonderful people, they really deserve better, but I just think it's easier and safer to keep them at arm's length.

We finish breakfast in companionable silence, and Esme walks me out to the car they've given me to drive to and from school. It's a Volvo, which makes me want to laugh for some reason. I guess they wanted to provide the safest possible car for driving on the wet roads here. In my case however, I need more than a five star safety rating to keep me safe. I'm fairly sure I need bullet-proof glass as well.

Unaware of my thoughts, Esme smiles and hands me my lunch.

"So," she says softly, "You already have your schedule, but check-in with the office when you get there. Mrs. Cope was going to try and see if she could move you into another math class, remember?"

I start to object, but a wave of her hand stops me.

"I know you said you don't mind being in our son's class, but he and Carlisle both agreed that it could be construed as a conflict of interest for him to be your teacher since you're now, to some degree, an extended part of the family. Never mind the fact that you two haven't even met yet since he just _had_ to go skiing in Colorado for New Year's." She rolls her eyes amusedly. "Anyway, if they can't switch you, I'm sure it will be fine, but at least we can say we tried."

I nod and move to get in the car.

"Have a wonderful day today, Anna Bella."

"Thank you. You too," I answer.

I start the engine and head down the winding driveway towards the two-lane highway that will take me into town. While I drive, I think about the Cullen's grown son. Edward, now a high school math teacher and Navy Reservist, came to live with Dr. and Mrs. Cullen roughly eighteen years ago when he was not quite eleven years old. His biological father had been in the Navy (an obvious source of inspiration) but died in a training accident when Edward was just a toddler. Following his father's death, his mother became severely depressed and eventually ended up leaving him with her own mother to be cared for. He was then put into the system after the elderly woman died.

That same year, after nearly a decade of not being able to conceive a child of their own, Carlisle and Esme made the decision to adopt. They were originally hoping to bring home a baby or toddler, but while visiting the adoption agency, they'd both been affected by the staggering number of older children waiting for good homes. Carlisle pointed out ten year-old Edward's picture on a bulletin board and Esme was immediately taken with him. When they met their bond was instantaneous. Well... according to Carlisle anyway. Of course, that didn't mean things had always been perfect for them as a family, but eventually Edward adjusted to his new life and even asked the Cullens to legally adopt him. In the years that followed, they took on two other foster children who eventually became theirs as well.

Emmett McCarty came to live with the Cullens about four years after Edward did. The boy was just twelve when Edward witnessed him shoplifting granola bars from the sporting goods store in town. When Edward confronted him, Emmett bolted from the store and ended up getting hit by a car in the parking lot. Edward was apparently guilt-stricken and felt responsible for the accident. He lied to the paramedics, telling them he was the boy's brother in order to go with him to the hospital and once there, Edward ran to Carlisle and told him the whole story. While Dr. Cullen tended to Emmett's injuries, he discovered evidence of a history of abuse and neglect. Several well-placed phone calls and the Cullens were made his temporary guardians. Several months later, they began proceedings to adopt him.

Then, two years after Emmett joined their family, the Cullens received some shocking news. It turned out that Edward's biological mother had given birth to another child shortly after disappearing from his life. Sadly, when the woman finally succumbed to her debilitating depression not long before Edward's seventeenth birthday, he was discovered to be Victoria Masen's only known family. Of course, Esme and Carlisle jumped at the chance to take their son's sister in, but the girl –who preferred to go by Tori - hadn't come as willingly as the two boys. It took every ounce of patience and love Esme and Carlisle had to care for the beautiful but obstinate thirteen year-old.

I finally reach the end of the long driveway, and pull myself back to the present before looking both ways on the highway and pulling out. I spot the Cullen's new "neighbor" across the road as I proceed. He's fiddling with something in the back of his pick-up, which is stopped by his mailbox. The man glances up at me and I nod once in greeting, knowing he's been waiting for me.

Deputy U.S Marshal Jasper Whitlock is working undercover, supposedly having moved to Forks about a week prior to my placement with the Cullens. Esme and Carlisle believe he's just the guy who bought the old house across the street in order to fix it up and sell it for a profit. Of course, the truth is, his purpose here has nothing at all to do with real estate and everything to do with keeping me safe.

Deputy Whitlock gets in his truck as I make the turn onto the highway and he follows me to school. He keeps going straight when I turn into the lot, but I know he'll be close by to see how I do. Once my identity here appears to be accepted as fact, he'll be on his way to protect and shelter the next witness in need. It makes me nervous to think of being on my own, but I'm well aware the government can't afford to have their U.S. Marshals acting as one-on-one bodyguards for every last witness they protect.

After I arrive at school, the start of my day is a little rough. I feel like an imposter from the moment I step out of my borrowed Volvo. The rest of the cars in the high school parking lot are what Charlie had affectionately called "beaters". My first car was a beater. The Volvo I'm driving now isn't even close. It's shiny and silver, and it garners attention that I seriously want to avoid. The students stare at me and I can't help but wonder if my cover is already blown.

When I reach the office, I'm informed that there is no room for me anywhere else but in Edward Cullen's trigonometry class. I feel a surge of anxiety knowing he'd prefer I not be there. I also cringe a little just remembering how much I hated trig the first time around. After third period English, I spend my walk to fourth period math hoping that I haven't forgotten everything I learned about sines, cosines and tangents. And were functions learned in trigonometry? Or was that calculus? I am still contemplating this as I turn to walk into the classroom with my head down.

"Oh!"

In a split second, I find myself flat on my back. I'm completely stunned, lying on the floor, and having a difficult time inhaling a breath.

Even as the pain starts to register, I'm wondering what the hell just happened. After a lifetime of being somewhat uncoordinated, looking at my feet while I walk is usually sufficient to keep me from falling over. I'm puzzled as to why that wasn't the case this time. It starts to make a little sense when a face materializes in my field of vision and begins to apologize profusely.

"Are you okay? I am so sorry, I didn't see you. Are you alright?"

I nod breathlessly and try to focus my eyes on the vision hovering above me. I must have hit my head pretty hard because the sexiest man I've ever seen is kneeling over me and sliding his hand beneath my head. He's way too good-looking for this to be real.

"Can you sit up, sweetheart? Did you hit your head?" he asks. I don't answer right away so he flexes his fingers against my scalp and runs his eyes over my supine form. I shiver involuntarily and my mouth falls open a little. Soft green eyes meet my brown ones and I'm rendered both speechless as well as incapable of looking away.

"Mr. Cullen? What happened here?" I hear a voice ask. I think it might be Ms. Meyer who teaches ninth and tenth grade English. I met her when I registered for classes last week. "Is she alright?" she asks.

Professor Sexy doesn't answer right way, nor does he break my gaze until we hear someone else shriek.

"Oh, my gosh! What did you do to the new girl, Mr. Cullen!"

Mr. Cullen, my sort of foster brother who I realize I've called Professor Sexy in my head, looks down the hall with a sharp expression. "Nothing. Just go on to class. Now."

His words and the feeling of another set of hands on me, bring me back from whatever daze I was in. My face colors in embarrassment and I sit up with Ms. Meyer's assistance.

"I'm sorry," I stammer. "I'm fine."

Mr. Cullen and Ms. Meyer both look at me and frown.

"Are you sure?" she asks.

"Maybe we should have that bump on your head checked out," he says.

I answer them both in order. "I'm fine. And my head's fine." I rub it, just to be sure. "If it still hurts later, I'll just ask your father to take a look at it," I add specifically for Mr. Cullen.

When I glance up I see that he has paled considerably. "You're Anna Bella?" he asks, his voice cracking over the name.

Ms. Meyer laughs quietly behind me. "Who else would she be, Edward? It's not like we get new students here every day."

Edward... _No, _not Edward_,_ I tell myself. _Mr. Cullen_ takes a moment to process what the other teacher said and then smirks. It's lopsided, and adorable, and I want to see him do it again. Just the thought makes my face turn red and I wonder what is wrong with me.

"Yeah, I guess you have a point," Mr. Cullen says and offers me his hand to help me stand. "Welcome to Forks High School, Anna Bella. I'm sorry that we met this way."

I stare at his hand a little too long and Ms. Meyer pats my shoulder. "Come on, kiddo. If you're not hurt, you need to get up. Class is about to start."

I know she's right, so I grasp onto Mr. Cullen's hand and he pulls me up. When our eyes meet again, it's like the rest of the world has fallen away. I can feel his touch send waves of pleasure throughout my entire body and it's wonderful, but also completely terrifying. I pull away and rush off to into the classroom, somehow getting to a desk in the back without making a fool of myself again.

The hour goes by slowly, the ache in my head growing as the minutes wear on. I'm relieved when class wraps up and Mr. Cullen gets ready to dismiss us. When the bell rings, I rise to go straight to my locker for some Tylenol before lunch.

"Miss Dwyer. Could I speak to you for a moment?" Mr. Cullen asks before I've taken two steps. I'm getting better about responding to my alias and barely hesitate when he calls me.

Turning slowly, I feel my heart start to pound in my chest as the rest of the students leave. Anxiety causes me to start shaking slightly; the feeling of not knowing what he wants from me is sickening. Is this about our awkward introduction? Maybe my lack of participation in class today? Or does he see right through me and is already suspicious that I'm not really seventeen?

"Yes?" I ask when I get to his desk. He stands and comes around to lean against the side.

"Is your head okay?"

"Yes," I lie.

"Okay, that's good."

He's quiet for a moment and looks to the door briefly before he speaks again.

"Um, I just wanted to introduce myself properly. I think my mother would have my hide for knocking you off your feet like I did and leaving it at that."

He smirks again like he did earlier and my stupid mouth falls open in response. I take a deep breath in through my nose before I can manage a response.

"That's okay," I say unsteadily. "I won't... I won't tell Esme if you don't."

He chuckles and his smirk grows into a lopsided smile that takes my breath away. "Thank you," he says. "I appreciate that."

I can't answer, but just grin back dumbly. He's got this whole thing going for him like he's freakin' Tom Cruise in Top Gun, only much taller and hotter. I can totally see him as a hot shot Navy pilot and wonder what he did in the Navy. I also wonder what would make him want to come back to a rainy little town like this after living the military life. There's no hint of the reason in his brilliant eyes, and I have to shake my head to try and clear it as their green depths swim with amusement and something else I can't even identify.

Eventually his gaze flickers to the door behind me again, and I'm released from the power of his crooked, smirky smile.

"I should let you get to lunch," he says staring over my shoulder for a moment. "We can get to know each other a little more some other time. And I'm sorry again for what happened before class. What a way to meet, huh?"

"Yeah," I say, blushing.

He's quiet for a moment.

"Alright, well off you go," he says, moving back behind his desk. "See you tomorrow, Anna Bella."

"It's Bella," I say without thinking.

"I'm sorry?" Edward asks, his eyebrows raised.

"I...um." I briefly think about lying, but then I realize I don't want to lie to him. "It's just Bella. Unless I'm in trouble."

He smiles and my breath quickens. "Okay, Bella then. We'll see you tomorrow."

I nod and bite my lip as I make my way from the classroom, somehow finding my way back to my locker. I take two Tylenol even though I'm distracted from my headache by the myriad of other feelings that are pulsing through me, the most dominant being bewilderment.

_Why did I do that? Why is this happening?_ I wonder. _Why now?_ _Why him?_

And most importantly, why when I need to stay numb for the sake of everyone involved, do I meet someone who may very well make me feel more than I've ever felt before?

~(~)~

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_**End Note: **_

_Next update in a couple of days. Thanks for reading!_

_-Ginnie_

_PS- __**MizzKing**__ at TwiFicPics made a beautiful custom made banner for this story and you can see it by visiting my profile page! _


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N:** Thank you so much for the wonderful response to the first chapter! It was brought to my attention however that I failed to give my canon readers any warning that this fic is, in fact, **All-Human**. I do apologize if you were under the impression this would be another canon-esque AU, but personally, I blame FFn for that. 255 characters -including spaces- is all they allow for summaries. (Grr...)_

_Big, big thanks go again to **SueBee0619** for her beta services, as well as to my wonderful pre-readers for all their support. :)  
_

~(~)~

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**Disclaimer:****I still don't own Twilight, any of its characters, or any songs with the same title as this story.**

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Chapter 2:

After a long, hard cry the night following my first encounter with Edward Cullen, I manage to regain my composure and push away the feelings he stirred inside me. I feel as though I sleepwalk through the rest of the week, avoiding Mr. Cullen and his parents whenever possible. Unfortunately, I'm really struggling with the material in the former's class. Despite Anna Bella Dwyer's transcripts saying she was getting a "B" in math at her last school, I'm now getting a "D".

I can handle being a sub-standard student considering it's my second time through this and I don't need these grades at all. However, Mr. Cullen doesn't know that, and he pulls me aside on Friday to ask me what I'm having trouble with. I can't find an answer for him and I'm afraid to even look at him with his hypnotic green eyes, chiseled jaw, and tousled bronze hair. He seems to sense this and taps my chin lightly with his finger to get my attention. It seems too intimate a gesture between teacher and student, but then maybe I wouldn't think so if I were really a teenager and not an overly frustrated twenty-something who'd never met a man quite as intriguing or as handsome as this one.

"Can you tell me what's going on inside that brain of yours?" he asks genuinely.

I try to smile, but I can't. "I don't know."

He seems to study me for a moment. "Bella, are you just having a hard time adjusting?"

I look at the floor and bite my lip. "Maybe. I guess."

"Is it home or school you find hardest?"

"Both," I admit.

He takes a breath. "Well, I've been there. I know how that feels. So if you ever want to talk –here or outside of school, or whatever – just let me know."

I glance up, both enticed by his offer to talk and indignant that he thinks he knows anything about how I feel. It's rather arrogant of him, despite the fact that my situation is something most teachers would never come across in a million years. Still, he knows that I lost both my parents recently and I find it offensive that he would compare our situations without knowing the details.

When I don't answer him, he continues talking.

"I know Esme had to have told you that I'm adopted," he says.

"She did," I answer shortly, trying and failing to reign in my irritation. "But that doesn't mean you know how I feel. Because you don't. And I appreciate you trying to be nice to me for your mother's sake, but I really don't need-"

"Whoa now, hold on a second there," he stops me. "I'm not doing anything for my mother's sake here, Bella. I'm your teacher. It's my job to care about how you're doing. In school and otherwise. Not to mention, I have a dozen or so years of life experience on you. If you're struggling, let me help. Let me do my job."

I snort and then scowl at him, reacting on hurt feelings and indignation alone.

"Look, your job is to teach me math," I snap. "Even if it was more than just that, I don't need anyone trying to help me out of some ridiculous sense of obligation."

"Obligation?" he asks, eyes flashing and voice rising. He looks offended. So much so I think he's going to yell but, with a quick swallow that makes his Adam's apple bob, he regains his composure. "Perhaps we ought to finish this conversation another time, young lady. I only want to help you. I have no interest in arguing with you."

I roll my eyes at him. "Don't dismiss me like I'm a child. You don't know anything about me."

"Anna Bella-"

I ignore him and turn to leave his classroom in a huff. Pathetically, I forget that there's a desk right behind me and almost fall on my face while attempting to escape. Mr. Cullen's hands reach out and steady me.

"Easy," he murmurs. "Don't hurt yourself."

I pause only for a moment while his long fingers remain around my waist. He lets go immediately, but not soon enough to avoid my heart fluttering wildly again. I can also feel the heat of his warm chest against my back now. Unbidden, my mind decides that I'd really like to lean backwards and have him wrap me in his arms. Instead, I shake off my insane thoughts and fly out of the classroom as fast as I can.

The rest of the day, all I can think about are Mr. Cullen's hands and our argument. Or rather, the way I blew up at him for simply caring about the child he thinks that I am. I have to tell myself he sees me this way, because my body still tingles when I think of him touching me and nothing good can come from that.

It's obvious when I watch him with my classmates that Edward is a great teacher and would never cross that line with a student. As the day goes on, I also realize that this means he only approached me because he felt obliged to help me with math. I feel disappointed and disgusted at the same time. Disappointed because I wish his interest in me were more. Disgusted because I shouldn't be thinking that way about him.

When I go to my locker at the end of the day to put my books away, I stand in front of it longer than necessary, trying to decide if I should go back to Mr. Cullen's classroom and apologize. I decide not to, fearful of what I would say to explain my behavior. There's so much that I can't tell him and the memory of his body so close to mine still permeates my mind. I can't risk it.

When Saturday morning arrives, I am greatly relieved I don't have to see Edward Cullen for another two days. I spend a good amount of the morning contemplating my confusing feelings for him. I don't even try to pretend that I don't find him attractive. I do, and from what I've heard in the cafeteria during the week, I'm not the only one. Every female in Forks is hot for the guy. For that reason, I don't let that particular issue bother me as much as others. Like how it felt when his hands were around my waist, for one. Or the way it affected me when he gave me his hand to help me up off the floor.

I can't help but wonder if he feels it too. I want to know if he experiences anything at all similar to what I do, but then I am horrified because that would mean he was some kind of pedophile. Wouldn't it? I mean, he does believe I'm seventeen after all.

A long shower and several hours of homework do very little to take my mind off of Mr. Cullen. My math book stares back at me while I study, mocking me. It takes me an hour to get through half of the assignment, and I'm wondering how inappropriate it would be for me to ask my teacher's mommy if she could get him to tutor me.

Just the thought of one on one time with Edward is enough to nip that idea in the bud. No good could come from such an arrangement. It would be far better for me to struggle through a half a year of math than it would be to risk compromising my teacher's integrity or my cover story.

I don't even realize I've been locked away in my room all day until I hear voices coming from downstairs and look up at the clock. It's almost evening and I've barely said two words to my foster parents today. I decide to go downstairs for the rest of the night, and it's only when I'm halfway down that I realize the male voice I hear isn't Carlisle's. I pause on the landing and step back into the shadows, listening quietly

"I honestly don't know, honey. She barely speaks to us about it. Why the sudden curiosity in her?"

The response comes from the same soothing voice that I hear every day at school.

"I don't know. I just... I just think she's in some kind of trouble. I can't explain it. Just something seems... off."

"What makes you say that?"

Esme's voice sounds too careful. As if she isn't surprised to hear his observations.

"Mom... what do you know?"

I almost laugh at his tone, but listen carefully instead. Not that I don't know the backstory the U.S. Marshals gave the Cullens when I moved here. My alias came complete with a convincing but vague file from Washington Child Protection Services.

"We don't know much, other than she witnessed her parents' deaths and they were apparently murdered. By whom, nobody seems to know. Social Services only told us that it wasn't her, and if anyone should ever call or come around asking questions about her, we should inform her case worker right away."

"You're kidding."

"No, I wish I were. She was old enough to have been emancipated, or go to a group home, but the state wanted to place her somewhere they could be sure she was safe."

"Mom. That's..." his voice fades.

"I know."

"And Dad agreed to this?" he asks incredulously. "I mean, what if someone does come looking for her?"

Esme sighs. "Then we'll handle it together. She wouldn't be any safer in a group home. In fact, she'd be more likely to fall through the cracks and disappear. Or run away. You know how those places are."

I hear Mr. Cullen hum and it gets quiet for a few moments. I consider trying to sneak back upstairs without being heard, but I don't think I can make it without revealing that I've been eavesdropping.

"Mom?" I hear Mr. Cullen ask.

"Yes?"

"Thank you," he replies. "Even if it's dangerous, I'm really glad she's here with you and Dad. I feel oddly... protective of her."

"Really?" Esme exclaims. "Well, I think that's very sweet, honey."

"I don't know if that's the word I would use," I hear Mr. Cullen mutter, though I'm barely able to make the words out.

"What do you mean?" she asks.

He exhales forcefully. "It just means that I'm her teacher and I shouldn't be feeling anything for her. At least, not outside of wanting her to succeed academically."

"Well, she's also your sister of sorts."

"That doesn't make it any better, Mom."

Just then the front door swings open and Dr. Cullen walks in announcing that he's home. I take the opportunity to run back upstairs and pull myself together. I chastise my heart for beating wildly in a way that has nothing to do with my sprint up the stairs. I know it's beating this way because Edward Cullen feels something for me. For the moment, I don't really care what it is, I'm just glad I'm not entirely alone in the inappropriate feelings department.

As soon as I've composed myself, I head back downstairs to join the Cullens and resume my role as the shy, traumatized foster child. It isn't hard. The only thing that's hard is looking at or speaking to Edward without blushing. I can only hope nobody notices.

When it's time to say hello, I greet him with a simple, "Hi, Mr. Cullen." Esme tells me I can call him Edward at home, but I decide it's better to avoid getting too familiar and stick with using his title. Not that I really address him much for the rest of the night, but I try to at least think of him this way. I slip-up a little as the evening wears on.

We have a family style dinner and when the conversation turns towards me, I shy away. I've been given pre-prepared answers to use, and I can resort to them if I have to, but I just hate the feeling that I'm lying to this very nice family. Their concern for me is obvious and, eventually I'm simply unable to resist answering a few questions. They've been patient and I don't want to be difficult.

Dr. Cullen asks me if I've had an opportunity to think any more about extracurricular activities now that I've been in classes for a week. All three Cullens are staring at me; Esme and Edward, each with their very different but equally green eyes, and Carlisle with his piercing blue.

"I'm still trying to get caught up academically," I say. "I haven't thought about it much."

"Well, were you involved with any activities at your old high school?"

"Not really," I answer, shaking my head and looking down at my plate. I can't tell them that public schools aren't allowed to offer my sport to students.

"What about anything you ever wanted to try, but didn't?"

His son clears his throat. "Dad..."

"What?"

"You're pushing her, dear," Esme says with a soft smile.

I blush profusely and bite my lip.

"I'm sorry, Anna Bella. I just don't want you to miss out on anything because we didn't ask if you were interested or offer you support. I know we keep telling you if you need anything to let us know, but I also know you might just be too shy or scared to do so. Am I right?" Carlisle asks.

I meet his eyes and nod. He winks at me.

"Sorry if I'm pestering you."

"You're not," I say quickly.

"Sure he is," Edward says, smiling amusedly. The brilliance of it almost takes my breath away, and I have to remind myself yet again that he's my teacher-slash-foster-brother.

"You know..." Esme says, drawing our attention. "When I was in high school, the things I was interested in doing weren't usually team sports. Sometimes they had a club though. What sorts of clubs do they have these days, Edward?" she inquires.

He scrunches up his face in concentration for a moment. I'm openly gawking at him again, but look down before he can see.

"A lot of the kids are involved in the student government, and its various service related activities. Then there is Foreign Language Club. Drama. Debate. I think there is a science club this year, and math club, of course. Mr. Varner sponsors the Future Business Leaders of America –"

"Wait," I say, surprising even myself. "There's a math club?" I ask, looking up.

His eyes widen a bit. "Yes... Why? Would you be interested in joining?"

"No, no," I say. "I just..." I look back down at my plate. "Um, that means there are kids who are good at math. And like it? Right?"

A smooth chuckle sends a feeling of warmth over me and I risk meeting his eyes when he answers with a simple _yes._

"Do they do tutoring?"

"You want help with your math?" Mr. Cullen asks.

"Yes," I say. I hesitate for a moment and then just go ahead and lay it out there. "I don't really care so much about the grade I get, but I spent two hours on the assignment you gave us yesterday and I just can't remember ever learning that stuff before. So it's taking me forever to get through it and I'm frustrated."

Edward. _No,_ Mr. Cullen pushes his plate aside and smiles. "Go get your books."

I blanch. "Wh- What?"

"Go get your stuff. I'll help you. I'm here. It is my job."

"Oh," I say and look away. It's his _job_. Of course, I forgot he feels obligated. It hurts, so I refuse like a petulant child. I might as well own my role, after all.

"You don't have to do that," I say. "It's your day off. Just enjoy your evening with your parents."

I start to get up and then remember to ask, "May I be excused, please?"

Esme looks between me and her son. "Yes... But I think you should let Edward help you if you're having trouble with your homework."

"He doesn't have to," I say. "But thank you. And thank you for din-"

"I want to," his low, smooth voice stops me. I glance at him and he raises an eyebrow. "Bella, I want to help you," he repeats. "If you'll let me."

I swallow. "Okay."

An hour later, we've gone back to the beginning of the book. Mr. Cullen has long ago given up trying to refresh my memory and is just starting over with me. He mutters about sending a strongly worded email to the math faculty at my former high school and then laughs when I tell him not to bother because, if they're that bad, they might not be able to read it.

Slowly it all comes back to me. By chapter five, something just clicks into place and I almost squeal with glee. Several practice problems later, I'm laughing because Edward tells a cheesy math joke and I actually get it.

"Oh, my gosh!" I giggle. "I remember hearing that back in Phoee–"

My voice falls off abruptly when I realize what I was about to say.

"Fee?" Edward asks, curiously.

"Um... back in Mr. Phoenix's class. At my old school. We just called him by his last name. No Mister. Just Phoenix," I lie.

The smile fades from his face and his eyes show comprehension. I think he knows I'm lying and I start to panic until I hear his soft, compassionate tone of voice.

"It's hard to talk about your life... _before_. Then, when you don't want to talk about it, it just comes out."

I breathe a small sigh of relief that he doesn't push the Phoenix thing and just agree with him. "Yeah."

"It does get easier in time."

"Maybe."

He touches my hand with his pinky finger and it's immediately soothing. "Do you want to talk about it now?"

I shake my head reflexively, but then my heart clenches and I feel the emptiness of every single, solitary minute of the last two months. Without meaning to, I begin nodding my head _yes _instead.

His hand covers mine briefly. "Take as long as you need," he says.

After what feels like an eternity, I begin with the most basic thing. "I miss my mom," I say, letting it hang there and feeling the emptiness of her absence. The tears break loose along with a flood of words.

"I miss our house. I miss the way it smelled like her, or like the latest culinary masterpiece she had underway. She was an amazing cook." I sigh and wipe some of the tears, but it's no use. "I miss her smile and her laugh. I miss her making me laugh. I feel like I haven't really laughed in an eternity. And I miss my dad," I pause again. The tears for my father are constant streams and I'm barely able to keep my voice from breaking.

"I miss him so much. He was my everything. My coach, my best friend, my hero. And just my dad," I say, shrugging as my voice falls to a raspy whisper. "He gave the best hugs."

Edward says nothing, but I notice that he's now holding one of my hands in his. It's such a simple gesture, but I think I enjoy it more than I should. I try to smile at him through the tears.

He smiles back softly. "I know it's not the same, but Esme gives pretty good hugs."

I nod and glance towards the living room where she was no doubt waiting for us to finish our lesson. "She does, but my dad's arms were like coming home. I don't know if I'll ever feel like that again."

"You might. Someday"

I sniffle and look at our hands clasped together. "Maybe," I whisper.

I wonder if Edward has followed my train of thought and knows what I'm thinking, because he releases my hand and sets it gently back on the table. He closes my math book and stacks our practice sheets neatly on top.

"I still have to finish my assignment," I say, casually.

He nods. "I know, but I think that's enough for tonight. I'll come by tomorrow to help you through the last of it."

"You don't have to do tha– "

"I want to," he says, stopping me. He chuckles and puts his hand on top of mine again. "And yeah... it's my job and I'm your teacher and all... But I think I crossed out of teacher mode and into big brother mode or something a while ago. Don't you?"

He seems to want to demonstrate this by rubbing his thumb back and forth over my knuckles, but it feels anything except brotherly to me. The odd expression on his face makes me think he realizes this as well, if a moment too late.

"Yeah, probably," I say, pulling my hand from his politely and trying to play it off like I don't have ten-thousand butterflies in my stomach.

I start to feel guilty as he escapes to go say goodnight to his parents. Not only have I monopolized Esme and Carlisle's time with their son tonight, but I opened up to him and talked about my past where I haven't been able to do that with them. To top it all off, there is a palpable energy between me and Edward. If he's feeling half of what I do, all while thinking I'm just seventeen, the poor guy's undoubtedly having some kind of internal crisis of the conscience. At least, I assume that's the case. Call it a gut instinct, but I know now that whatever Edward Cullen is, a pedophile he is not.

~(~)~

By the following week, I'm mostly caught up in trigonometry. Mr. Cullen (as I've forced myself to think of him) came over as promised on Sunday and then again on Wednesday night to tutor me. We both seemed to be much more conscious of our interactions after our initial study session. He is more the teacher and less the big brother or confidant that he was that first night. I can handle that because my feelings for him are still there, utterly confusing and entirely inappropriate. I need the boundary line drawn plainly in the sand so I don't end up costing him his job or making either of us appear incestuous.

A month later, I've come to have a fairly easy relationship with Mr. Cullen in and out of school. With my ridiculous crush pushed aside, he's usually Edward at home and our friendship has actually helped me relate better to Carlisle and Esme. I'm still keeping my distance to a certain extent, but am able to interact with them more naturally. I feel a little more like myself, and I can manage to talk about my parents in small doses.

Of course, I still can't allow any discussion about details of my former life. I stick to what's written about my alias in the Social Services file they have on me and never deviate. I try to remain diligent as well, knowing that if I get too relaxed, I'll make small slips. I could never live with myself if I placed any of us at risk like that, so I do my best to be who they think I am. I work hard to be seventeen-year-old Anna Bella Dwyer.

Some days are easier than others. Dealing with petty high school crap when you're hiding from one of the world's most dangerous crime families gets under your skin. And as much as I try to stay above it all, I have to co-exist with these kids day in and day out. So, over time I've made a few friends; mostly girls who just needed someone to be kind to them.

One particularly difficult day in early March, one of those girls was targeted by a boy who'd made a bet that he could get her to offer him oral sex on school grounds. He even bragged he could convince her to let him videotape it. It was common knowledge among our peers that she had a crush on him, so she was elated when he started paying attention to her. Naturally, it destroyed her when she found out it was all a horrible prank.

The fact that people could actually treat other human beings so callously made me completely irate. After driving poor Whitney home and listening to her cry the whole way, I became so mad that I was literally ready to shoot something. I know that would sound extreme to anyone who didn't know I'm an internationally ranked marksmen, but I am. Or I was a few months ago. Back in those days, it wasn't uncommon for me to work out some of life's frustrations while I was at the range. Charlie taught me that shooting, like any sport, had therapeutic benefits when you took it seriously. I'd been lectured early on to never wield a gun while angry or upset, but experience taught me that if there was something on my mind, I usually felt better after a few hours honing my skills with a rifle or one of my dad's pistols.

Unfortunately, that isn't an option anymore. Which means that my current bad day has now been added to the ever growing frustration I've been feeling recently; a toxic cocktail of missing my parents, my home, my independence and my sport. As I drive towards the Cullens large and secluded house on an otherwise normal Friday afternoon, it's all too much. I'm one pissed off woman.

Until I see Deputy Marshal Whitlock replacing the mailbox at the end of his driveway.

I almost stop the car and roll down the window when I drive past him, but a slight shake of his head tells me not to. I'm surprised that I'd forgotten he told me to watch for the new mailbox. It's a signal. A sign that means he'll be leaving soon.

I make the turn into the Cullen's driveway and continue up the long path, slower than usual due to my pounding heart and overwhelmed mind. I feel both relieved and alarmed that this day has come. Knowing I'll be on my own in the near future tells me two things: First, I am safe here for now. And second, I probably won't be going anywhere for a while.

It doesn't take me but a moment to realize that it's the second half of that equation that has me distressed. Knowing I'll have to keep up with the lies? With the charade that's been weighing on me a little more each day? I'm not sure how much longer I can do it without cracking.

When my phone beeps, I can guess immediately who it is. Taking a deep breath, I slow the car to a stop along the winding drive and look at the message.

_I need you to get away for a few hours tonight.  
Msg me if you need help making it happen.  
Port Angeles. 7pm. Meet outside the movie theater._

~(~)~

* * *

_**End Notes:**_

_So, a small cliffie there. Sorry about that. However, I think the next chapter will more than make up for it. ;)_

_Next update in a couple days. -Ginnie_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **

_Hi! So sorry for the update fail! I promised a few days, but I had a MAJOR computer meltdown thanks to a virus I caught while- of all things- replying to your reviews of this story! All I can say is make sure your anti-virus/anti-spyware software is up to date and use the "Ad Blocker" feature FFn offers under the "Help" link in the upper right corner of the window. In my case, it was one of the rare ads that double-clicks you over to another site that did it. Just be careful my fellow fanfiction junkies. Sheesh... _

_Thanks go again to my fabulous beta, **SueBee**, and as well to my pre-readers for this chapter, **StellaBlueBella **&** Katmom. **_

******~(~)~**  


**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight or the U.S. Marshals. :(  
**

* * *

_From Chapter 2-  
_  
_My phone beeps, and I'm not surprised. I look at the message as soon as I pull into the driveway._

_I need you to get away for a few hours tonight.  
Msg me if you need help making it happen.  
Port Angeles. 7pm. Meet outside the Movie Theater._

~(~)~

* * *

Chapter 3:

I frown a little at the thought of the subterfuge involved in Deputy Whitlock's request, but immediately know what my cover story will be. It's perfect really, and I have to wonder if he was listening in on my day at school today. It's not entirely impossible. Who knows what kind of toys and tricks people in his line of work have up their sleeve? It takes me only a moment to text him back and, as soon as he agrees, I head inside to run my plan by Esme.

When I ask her about going to the movies in Port Angeles with a few kids from school, she is thrilled by the prospect of me doing something normal with my peers for once. I expected her to be, but it only increases my guilt. She immediately says yes to my request and doesn't question it when I tell her I'd like to drive myself in case plans change or any one going misbehaves. She never doubts my story. She simply smiles approvingly. Again, the guilt eats at me. I hate lying to Esme, but it's a necessity in this case. The only thing I can do is say yet another silent prayer that she won't hate me when this is all over.

Almost as soon as I have permission, I leave for Port Angeles. Being twenty-three and single, I've long been used to doing as I pleased with my free time. Having to pretend to be a minor for the last two months has been wearing on me, and I am craving my freedom. I keep that to myself however, and just tell Esme I want to go to the book store instead. Of course I do stop by the book shop and browse, but I also happen to grab a very large, very caffeinated coffee drink and take a walk out to the waterfront. I even wander along the more touristy spots on my way back and still arrive at the theater ten minutes before I'm supposed to.

I'm glad to see Deputy Whitlock waiting for me outside. He's leaning against his black dodge pick-up and looking every bit the local in his Timberland work boots, dark wash jeans and vintage t-shirt layered under a flannel.

"Enjoy your evening out?" he asks when I approach him. He opens the passenger's side door for me and gestures for me to get inside.

"Yeah, were you following me?"

"Of course," he says, as if he's offended I would think otherwise.

"We're not staying here?" I ask while I climb in the truck.

He shakes his head, but doesn't answer until he's in the driver's seat.

"It's Friday night. There are too many people from Forks here to avoid being seen together. But, lucky for us, I know a place we can go."

"Okay," I say quietly, looking around as we drive speedily away from Port Angeles. If this man hadn't worked so hard to keep me alive up to this point, I might be a little afraid.

"Bella?" he says once we're on our way. I glance over at him to let him know I'm listening. "What's wrong? You're too quiet, even for you."

I sigh and feel my cheeks heat a bit. "Yeah, I guess I'm a little nervous."

"About what?"

"About the mailbox, and about where we're going. Not that I don't trust you, but the last time you told me to get in a car without me knowing where we were headed, it was because some Romanians were trying to kill me."

He chuckles. "I didn't think about it like that. No need to worry though. I just wanted you to be able to cut loose for an hour or two before I leave town and you have to go back to everyone here thinking you're seventeen."

I huff a laugh. "Yeah, well, you picked a good day then. Being seventeen sucks sometimes. High school sucks."

"I know. You're doing really well though."

"Thanks. I think," I say, wondering if it's a good thing I'm so good at pretending to be a teenager in high school. After a couple months of doing it, it makes me wonder if I was ever really a grown-up to begin with.

"You seem to be getting on well with the Cullens. Are you comfortable staying there?"

"Do I have a choice?" I snort, but then smile and shake my head. "No, the Cullens are great. I wish I could have known them under different circumstances."

"I feel the same way about you, kiddo," he says. "So does Deputy Brandon. She sends her love, by the way. She wanted to come see you, but she's testifying herself in another case this week."

"Tell her I said hello."

"I will."

"So... where is this place you know?" I ask as we turn east and head away from Port Angeles.

"Just up the road a bit. It's a bar in the outskirts of Sequim. We're going to make a quick stop somewhere else first though."

I raise an eyebrow. "A bar?"

He grins and explains. "The owner is former military, Special Forces. He also worked for the FBI for a while before eventually becoming a U.S. Marshal."

"Oh. That's... neat."

Deputy Whitlock chuckles again. "I want you to meet him. He's trustworthy. Retired nowadays, but with connections. And if you get into any trouble, he'll be closer to you than we are."

"Oh," I say again, understanding tonight isn't just about cutting loose.

"Don't worry. You won't you need him. And you won't need this, either," he says, pulling a thick manila envelope from under his seat. "But it's good to have both, just in case."

I look at it as if it might bite me. "What is this?"

"It's your emergency kit."

I feel myself pale a little. "Emergency kit?"

"Like I said, you won't need it. But if I'm wrong –moreover, if Alice is wrong –and she never is," he adds with a wink. "But if we're wrong and you have to run, that envelope has everything you need to get the hell out of Dodge. New ID, passport, credit card, cash, cell phone and instructions."

"Wow..."

"After tonight, don't carry it with you. Put it in the duffle bag we gave you when we brought you to Washington. In the bottom is one of those plastic covered cardboard liners, right?"

"Uh... I think so."

"It should be there. Alice would have made sure. Just slide this envelope inside that liner, zip the bag back up and put it back in your closet. Like I said, you won't need it."

I shake my head. "You keep saying that."

"I don't want you to worry."

"Then stop telling me not to worry."

He grins at me, but sees I'm serious.

"Bella, look, I wouldn't be leaving you here if your placement wasn't secure. The agency takes witness safety very seriously, and we've never lost anyone that did as they were told. Not only that, but you won't be entirely without protection."

"How so?" I ask.

"Well, did Dr. or Mrs. Cullen mention that their son Emmett is moving closer to home in a couple weeks?"

"Uh... yeah, they mentioned it. I met him a few weekends ago."

"Well, he's a police officer as you know, but he's also a friend of Alice's."

"You're kidding. Is that how...?"

He nods. "It is. A few years ago when he was a rookie with Seattle PD, he got assigned to guard the hospital door of one of our less-cooperative witnesses. Emmett was 100% business about it. So serious all the time." Jasper smiles widely and glances at me. "But you know how Alice is. She messed with him until he cracked a smile. They struck up a friendship."

"So how did I end up with his parents?"

"Protection details like that can get boring. I guess the guy's a talker once you get him going. He told Alice his whole life story and what-not. They stayed in touch and when we met you, she contacted him to see if he thought his parents would be willing to take on another foster child. He presented the idea to them."

I gasp. "Does that mean? Does Emmett know about me? He knows who I really am?"

"Not entirely. He knows you're a federal witness, and I believe he's guessed that your identity is an alias, but we never confirmed that one way or the other."

"Holy Cow."

My head is so full of new information that I don't even notice we've stopped somewhere until I hear the click of Deputy Whitlock's seatbelt.

"You okay over there, Bella?"

I nod absently and unbuckle my own safety belt. "So the Cullens know that I'm hiding?" I ask. "They know I'm not who I say I am."

"No, Emmett thinks he knows, but the rest of the Cullens believe you're Anna Bella Dwyer. They believe that the state of Washington has you in protective custody so long as your parents' murder goes unsolved. Or until your supposed eighteenth birthday, whichever comes first."

"Oh..."

"Come on, get out," Deputy Whitlock says after a moment. "I have a surprise for you."

I get out of the truck and see that we're stopped at the end of a dirt road. It's surrounded by trees on every side but one, where there's a small field. I turn to find Deputy Whitlock standing at the back of his pick-up with the tailgate open, motioning me over. His truck has one of those bed-covers on it, and he opens it to reveal what appear to be two rifle cases sitting in the back of his truck. I gasp and look up at him. He nods towards the field.

"Care to shoot a round or two?" he asks.

My eyes flood with tears and my heart leaps. I think for a moment that he can't be serious, but then if he is, I want to kiss him. It's only when I hear his highly amused answer that I realize I've said this out loud.

"Yes, I'm serious, but I think Alice may take issue with the kissing part."

I don't even blush, I just throw my arms around his neck and hug him like he's just given me the world. Because for a moment it feels like he has.

"Thank you. Thank you so much, Deputy Whitlock."

"You're welcome," he says, hugging me back lightly before putting me down. "And it's Jasper. You can call me Jasper when it's just us. Okay?"

"Okay, Jasper," I repeat, smiling through my tears.

Several rounds of ammo later, I'm feeling like myself for the first time in months. It's dark outside, but Jasper has some nice optics with tritium illuminated sights, making it no problem to see the targets that he stapled to a tree at the end of the field. He apparently scoped this location out earlier in the week and informs me that there's a small rise of earth behind the trees so if we miss the targets, the bullets won't go far. When I asked him if he thinks anyone will hear us and call the authorities, he tells me there are no houses or businesses for miles, but he has his badge just in case.

As we shoot, I find that I'm a little rusty, but it comes back to me quickly. I get a kick out impressing Jasper by still being able to at least hit the bulls-eye, and he gets a kick out of trying to goad me into a contest. We end up going for the best out of ten rounds in the prone position. It's not my event at all and he actually out shoots me. We spend the rest of the time talking about his background and how he learned to shoot when he was a kid growing up in Texas. I'm not surprised to learn his grandfather had a cattle ranch and they used to shoot at the coyotes to keep them at bay. I can see it. He looks more at home in his jeans and flannel than he does in the suit he wore when I first met him.

We swap rifles, and I tell him about my dad and how he taught me to shoot in order to give me a solid respect for firearms. We talk about my competitive days, national championships and the Olympic trials. I tell him about all the different events I've tried over the years, but how I found my niche with the air rifle and three-position events. I find myself getting lost in the memories of Beijing in 2008 and how I failed to medal in one of my events, but took home the gold in the other. He tells me he'd love to see my medal someday. I tell him I hope to see it again someday as well.

"You know, I'm supposed to be training for the next Olympics right now. I really wanted to go to London. So did my mom."

Jasper sighs as we pack-up. "I'm sure she did. I'm sorry, kiddo."

"Who you callin' kiddo, o_ld man_?" I joke, making an attempt to cover the tears threatening my eyes.

"Who you callin' old man?" Jasper teases back.

I laugh because he's closer to forty than he is thirty, but, like me, he looks much younger than he actually is. In my opinion, he doesn't appear to be any older than Edward does at twenty-nine. Thinking of Edward makes me wonder about something and soon as we get back in the truck to return to town, I ask Jasper.

"Hey, I have a question."

"What is it?" he says easily.

"Do I really look like I'm just a teenager? I mean, if you didn't already know I was in my twenties, what would you think?"

Jasper glances at me from the corner of his eye. "Honestly?"

I nod.

"Just looking at you, I'd definitely think you weren't old enough to buy your own liquor yet. Eighteen, nineteen maybe? But..." he adds. "When you speak, and with the way you carry yourself? If I were to sit down and talk to you I'd think you were older."

I sigh. "I figured as much."

"You don't look much like a child when you wield a gun though. Not at all," he laughs.

I smile. "My mom started saying that when I was thirteen. She also used to say I was more mature at thirteen than she was at thirty though."

"I'm just guessin' that both of those things probably still ring true."

I smile, but spend the rest of the drive thinking about my parents and Edward. I think about what I'd like to do when, and if, I get my life back. If I testify this summer and get to go free, I want to compete again.

I wonder what Edward would think of me being a competitive shooter. Would he approve? My guess is he might, considering he's former military. Some people are against any use of firearms outside of the military or law enforcement, and that's okay. I've learned that the world is full of people who think we'd all be better off without firearms.

In a utopian society, I would have to agree. And maybe in that same scenario my parents would still be alive. But this isn't a utopia and in the real world, criminals will always get their hands on illegal weapons. If we hadn't had our own legal firearm at home that night, I likely wouldn't be sitting here today. But I am. My parents aren't. But I am.

The thought makes my chest ache and I don't quite know whether I can be happy about that fact.

When we arrive at the bar, a little neighborhood joint called Garrett's, my high from getting to shoot again is pretty much gone. Jasper understands when I tell him that it was wonderful, but also brought back a flood of memories, and a whole lot of "what-if"s.

"When do you have to be back at the Cullens?" he asks before we get out of the truck to go into the bar he wanted to take me to.

"I'm good until 11:30," I answer. "I have to call if I'm going to be any later than that."

"So as long as you call, you can be out until when?"

"I don't know. Esme didn't really say."

"Well, we'll just have to make sure you give her a call and tell you'll be a little late. How about we get you a drink and some comfort food?"

"I can't," I complain. "Anna Bella is only seventeen, remember?"

"Ah, yes," Jasper says, nodding. "Fortunately, I know the owner. And if we have to we'll grab your new ID out of that envelope over there."

"Deputy Marshal Whitlock," I say, feigning shock. "Are you suggesting I use my emergency identification for a non-emergency?"

He grins. "Don't tell. It's just for tonight. And just one drink."

I giggle and Jasper opens the door.

Twenty-five minutes later, we're sitting in booth in the far corner. I've met the owner, had a really good meal, a lovely microbrew, and am so very thankful that Jasper brought me out tonight. I feel recharged and refreshed, and hopefully ready to face the next few months until the trial. I'm even smiling and laughing genuinely for the first time in a while. Of course that could also be the microbrew, but I'm pretty sure it's all thanks to the man who's sitting across from me. He's been with me since the day after my parents died and has never let me down. I put my hand out and grasp his, feeling a little braver than usual thanks to the beer.

"You're a very good man, Jasper Whitlock," I say, smiling. "Thank you for tonight. I've had a really wonderful time getting to know you."

"Me too, sugar," he drawls as he squeezes my hand lightly. "You are one special young woman. I only wish we hadn't met like we did."

I smile and swallow the emotion his words bring. "Me too," I say softly.

He leans back and tips his chin, finishing his beer while our hands remain intertwined. It's strictly platonic, but still very reassuring. I'm contemplating whether or not to order another beer when Jasper sits bolt upright, rips his hand out of mine, and grabs my nearly empty bottle away from me.

"What the hell?" I say, confused.

Before he can answer I hear a furious and all too familiar voice coming from behind me.

"That's exactly what I'd like to know."

My eyes close momentarily in disbelief; meanwhile my heart starts pounding out of my chest. I'd know the velvet undertones to that voice anywhere, and find myself wondering how Jasper missed seeing him come in.

Edward steps in front of our table, arms crossed menacingly over his chest.

"Care to explain to me what in God's name you think you're doing here, Anna Bella?"

His voice is too low, too controlled. His body is rigid and from the corner of my eye, I can tell his hands are clenched into fists. I don't dare look at his face because I know it will be beyond harsh.

"Well..." he prods when I don't answer.

Jasper moves to stand.

"Don't!" Edward snaps, pointing a finger in Jasper's face. "Just. stay. there."

Jasper sits back and puts his hands up. He takes a deep breath and looks Edward over from head to toe. I'm a little afraid that he's planning how to take him down in a single punch, and I'm pretty sure he can do it too.

"Care to join us?" Jasper asks calmly when he's done looking Edward over.

"Join you? Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea–?" He stops abruptly and leans over the table, his hands clenching the edge until his knuckles are white. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Jasper Whitlock, and you are?" Jasper answers, clearly amused by Edward's display.

I gasp and flinch as Edward's fist hits the table. "I'm her brother!" he shouts. His words earn another gasp from me and he turns his head towards me slightly, but does not meet my eyes.

I feel a little sick all of a sudden. Edward's familial declaration is ringing loudly in my ears. It hurts. I hate that he sees himself in that role and realize quite suddenly that I am far, far from being over my crush.

Jasper meets my gaze and lets out an exasperated sigh.

"Look," he says, addressing Edward now with authority. "We both know Bella doesn't have a brother, so why don't you do everyone here a favor and sit down?"

Edward narrows his eyes and stares at Jasper. Eventually, he looks back at me and my stomach lurches at his expression. There's anger, disappointment, concern, and something else I can't quite identify there. I feel tears threatening and lower my gaze to the table in front of me. Edward says something else to Jasper and Jasper answers him while I fight for control.

How did this day go from so bad, to so good, and then right back around to bad again?

A waitress walks by, staring openly at Edward and Jasper, then glancing curiously at me. The unwanted attention brings me back to reality and I feel the need to contain the situation.

"Edward, please," I whisper. "Please, sit down."

He stops suddenly at my tone, looking at me in what I think is concern, or confusion.

"You're making a scene," I explain. "And whatever you think is going on, I assure you it's not."

He narrows his eyes and laughs bitterly, crossing his arms back over his sculpted chest.

"Oh, is that right? So, I didn't see you sitting here with a beer in front of you while holding hands with some older man?"

I blush and look down. He sounds more jealous than disapproving, and I feel my stomach give another funny lurch and then twist in a way that's altogether nauseating.

Jasper clears his throat. "Listen, Edward," he begins. "Bella and I go back a ways and I have to agree with her completely. You've misunderstood the situation. Now, why don't you sit down before you say something else less than considerate to her and I have to punch you in the face for being disrespectful."

Edward blanches a little and looks at me. He goes from angry to worried in less than a second.

"You go back _a ways? _You're not supposed to talk to anyone you knew from before," he says in a rush.

I'm confused for a moment and then remember the little bit that Esme told him about me, so I explain the best that I can.

"We ran into each other at the movie theater in Port Angeles. I... He..." I take a deep breath and try to think of what else I can say without saying too much.

Jasper puts a hand on mine and gives it a quick squeeze. Edward almost has another conniption fit, but Jasper pulls his wallet out of his back pocket and unexpectedly reveals his badge.

"Like I said, why don't you sit down for a minute?" he suggests.

Edward looks between us for a moment, studies Jasper's badge, and then looks back between us. His eyes finally rest on me. "Bella?"

"Sit down," I say, scooting over.

There's no thrill at the feeling of Edward's thigh touching mine when he slides in the booth next to me. I feel somewhat numb. I'm also panicked at the same time. I have no idea what Jasper is about to tell Edward. I don't know if it means that I'll have to be moved somewhere else now. Or if the Cullens won't want me anymore.

"What's going on?" Edward asks when he's seated.

"Well, let's start with the basics. You're Edward Cullen, right? Adopted son of Esme and Carlisle Cullen. Brother to Emmett and Victoria, also adopted. You spent four years on active duty in the Navy, after which you completed your Bachelor's degree at Seattle University while still serving as a reservist. You moved back to Forks almost two years ago, taking a position at your old high school to be closer to your parents. You teach math, even though your degree is in science. You're good at math because you also happen to be a piano prodigy. Of course, that last little detail is strictly the opinion of your mother."

Edward sits stunned silent. Jasper chuckles quietly and takes his badge back.

"As you see on the badge, my name is Jasper Whitlock and I'm a United States Marshal. I guess you could say I'm involved with Bella's case. I asked her here tonight to go over some things she needed to know."

"Like what?" Edward asks, finding his voice.

"I can't tell you that. Neither can she. I can tell you that we placed her with your parents for a reason and it was because we believed she'd be safe with them. She'll continue to be safe with them as long as you don't know too much, or ask too many questions of her."

Edward blinks again and his mouth opens and closes once. He looks at me and then back to Jasper. "How do I know you're who you say you are? No offense or anything, but I have a hard time believing that any law enforcement officer would ask a minor to meet him at a bar to discuss her case over a couple of drinks. Why weren't my parents notified? Or her case worker?"

Jasper smiles, and I can't help but notice it's a little reminiscent of Edward's smirk.

"Her case worker knows I'm here, and as for bringing her to a bar? Well, we couldn't very well have had this discussion just anywhere. I wanted to have some anonymity for both of us."

"And the beer I saw her with?" Edward asks, an eyebrow curved in challenge.

Jasper shrugs. "She's had a hell of time over the last few months."

"Not acceptable," Edward says, his voice dark. "She's seventeen."

Jasper nods. "So it would seem."

Edward's eyes narrow. "What does that mean?"

"It means you should take it easy on her. You do not know, nor can you be made aware of, everything that's going on. Not if you want her to continue living under the care of your family in Forks. Now, I'll move her if I have to, but I don't think any of us want that. Am I right?"

Edward's face becomes indecipherable. He and Jasper stare each other down while I watch on. I'm panicking slightly, wondering if at the end of this I'll have to be hidden away again. Maybe this time to some federal safe house that's no better than a prison. By the time either one of the men at the table move again, I'm biting into my lip so hard it's painful.

"No," Edward says finally. "No, none of us want that. She's doing well where she is. We can keep an eye out for her. It's a small town. Everyone knows everyone, and all that."

Jasper nods. "Good. So we have an understanding then?"

Edward sighs and looks at me. "This is your last chance to tell me whether or not he's some crazed lunatic who was about to kidnap you."

"He's not," I answer immediately.

"And you trust him?"

"With my life."

Edward frowns, but turns back to Jasper. "Then we have an understanding. On one condition," he amends.

"Which is?"

"No more of this sneaking off and not telling anyone where she's going. If you need to meet with her again, she's to tell someone and call when she gets there. If there's a reason you put her with us, let us do our part. We can't keep her safe if you keep us in the dark."

Jasper smiles wryly. "_If_ I need to meet with her again, an appropriate excuse will be given, but I can't negotiate how I do my job. You either deal with this and keep your mouth shut, or she disappears."

Edward goes still as he considers Jasper's words. After a long moment, I see his Adam's apple bob.

"Fine," he says weakly.

"Good," Jasper says, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

Edward turns and looks at me for a long moment before shaking his head slightly and looking back across the table.

"Can I assume from your posture when I walked in here a few minutes ago that you two were already finished with your official conversation?" Edward asks, his voice strained.

Jasper frowns for a moment and glances at me. I nod, telling him that I'm okay if he is.

He glances back at Edward. "Yeah. We were done."

"Then, if you don't mind, I'm taking her home," Edward says quickly.

"If you think that's best," Jasper answers, looking slightly amused again.

"I do," Edward says, narrowing his eyes at Jasper ever so slightly.

When we stand from the table, Edward wraps his long fingers around one of my biceps. His hold is gentle, but the message is strong. He's not letting me go. His stance is decidedly protective as we exit Garrett's, and it causes emotion to bubble up in me. We stop just outside the door so I can say goodbye to Deputy Whitlock.

"Bye, Jasper. Thanks for everything. I'll... well, I won't look forward to hearing from you exactly, but..." I sigh. "You know what I mean."

He smiles and bobs his head. "Yeah, I know. Me too. You take care, kiddo."

I smile through misty eyes. "You too."

"Always," he grins and his dimples show. He looks back to Edward and lifts his chin. "If you can give me just a second, her jacket's in my vehicle. Let me get it for her."

Edward's grip tightens on my arm. He looks down at me sharply. "You got in a car with him?"

I shrug off his hand. "It was his truck, actually."

"Bella! Do you have any sense of self-preservation? Nobody even knew you were with this guy."

Anger flares. It's my own this time.

"He's not just some random guy, Edward!"

I realize I've just used his given name to his face for the first time ever when his eyes widen in shock. Jasper leaves to go get my coat, but not before looking between the two of us curiously. When he gets back, he glances between the two of us for a moment before handing me my jacket. It's folded up carefully. I remember the manila envelope and realize it must be wrapped inside.

"Thank you," I say, pulling it carefully against my chest.

"Do you remember everything we talked about?" Jasper asks.

"Yeah."

"Good. Don't forget."

"I won't," I answer.

He smiles and waves me off as I follow Edward to his car. I say nothing and just let the man stew while we drive. I'm stewing too. There's nothing at all I can do to make the situation any better, which is why I am so upset. I hate being treated this way, but I know I'll have to take whatever punishment the Cullens give me for lying and going out with Jasper. It's just a part of the lie that's supposed to be keeping me alive.

When we get to Port Angeles, Edward keeps driving past the movie theater. I protest and ask him where he's going, but he doesn't answer me.

"Edward? The Volvo is at the theater."

He doesn't even look at me. "You've been drinking, Anna Bella. If you think I'm letting you get behind the wheel of a car, you've got another thing coming."

I sigh. He sounds like my mother –he's just scolding me with the wrong name.

"How were you planning on getting home?" he demands after a minute.

I don't answer right away because I'm still mad, annoyed really. I'm old enough to be able to have a beer with dinner and drive home. But in Edward's mind I'm not even close. If I were seventeen I would see his point. Instead I see his hands tighten and release on the steering wheel before he starts in on me again.

"I can understand the fact that you were given idiotic instructions you felt obligated to follow. I can understand that you went in that place with him for a good reason. But, drinking? " He runs his hands through his hair and pulls on it. "Please, please, explain to me what was going through your head."

I sigh. "Deputy Whitlock is a good man. He'd take a bullet for me, quite literally. There's no way he'd let me do something reckless like drinking and driving."

Edward scoffs and is quiet for a while.

"You're seventeen," he says, breaking the silence of the last few minutes. "Whitlock's gotta be what? At least fifteen years older than you?"

"Just about," I answer, because that's a pretty close guess if you factor in my real age.

"What..." His voice falters a bit. "Why were you were holding his hand?"

I blush. The question embarrasses me, despite there being a very simple explanation. I sigh and find my words.

"Jasper's been a rock for me since this whole nightmare began. He takes care of me. Since my father died, he's the only man I've had in my life who I could count on. No matter what."

Edward turns his head to look at me and his face is impossible to describe. It's almost like I've hurt him with my words, but I can't think too long on that. Not even when he looks back to the road and sighs heavily.

"Look, Jasper did something very nice for me tonight," I try to explain. "It was just a friendly gesture."

"It looked like more than that."

I frown because he sounds jealous again, which confuses me further. I have to ask myself why he would care, even as my heart pounds in my chest.

"He's a little too old for me, don't you think?" I ask weakly.

"Yeah, I do," Edward nods, letting out a breath I think might be relief, or frustration, I can't tell which. "I'm just glad I was wrong."

"Why?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "Because now I don't have to kill the guy."

I smile and the corners of his mouth threaten to lift too. I know he's still not happy, but perhaps I'm forgiven for at least one of my indiscretions.

Halfway home, my phone beeps.

_I assume you're being driven home for tonight  
as your "brother" didn't stop at the theater.  
I'm really sorry I didn't see him in time.  
No excuse for that, but call us if you need us. _

"Is that him?" Edward asks.

"Yes," I say.

Edward shakes his head and sighs. "What have you gotten yourself into?"

I stay silent, and he knows what I'm not saying. "You can't answer that. I get it."

"Thank you," I say quietly.

"Is Bella even your real name? Can you at least tell me that?"

"I shouldn't," I answer. After a moment, I sigh. "But... yes. Bella is my real name."

"Good," he says quietly. "It suits you."

I look away and try desperately not to feel any thrill at those words. I force myself to avoid thinking about what they mean while the trees blur outside the windows.

It takes us just over an hour to get back to the Cullens' house, and I have failed miserably in not obsessing over Edward's words. I end up wishing more than once that I could have met him in another time and place. He's truly kind, and handsome, and smart. I could so easily fall for him. It would be effortless were the situation different.

When we get out of the car, I'm not even thinking about what we'll tell Esme and Carlisle. For all I care at this point, Edward can tell them he caught me drinking and forced me to come home with him. I don't care about getting in trouble. My mind is too full of budding feelings for my quote-un-quote foster brother. I wonder if forcing myself to think of him in that light will help me stay sane.

"Bella?" Edward stops me before I start towards the house.

I turn, barely managing to meet his eyes. "Yes?"

"I just wanted to tell you, before we go inside, that..." He sighs and runs his hand through that incredible hair of his. "Well... you're not alone anymore. Okay? I know you've lost a lot. You lost a whole life that has nothing to do with us, and we can only imagine how hard that's been for you. But you're not alone. And that guy? Jasper Whitlock? He's not the only one you can count on. He's not the only one who wants to take care of you."

I stare at him in shock. My mind is going a million miles an hour even before he moves closer to me. Rain has begun to fall again. It comes down like a mist and the tiny drops of water begin to accumulate on his hair and eyelashes. It won't be enough to cover the tears I feel threatening as he reaches out and runs the back of his fingers down my cheek.

_Foster-brother_, I scream to myself. _Foster-brother, foster-brother, foster-brother!_

My eyes flutter closed and I inhale slowly, as his touch burns my skin. It's all I can do to stand in place and hold back my imminent breakdown. I feel his body heat as he draws nearer and I know I'm going to lose it right here in front of him. I tell myself to run, to get away from here, but before I can even process what's happened I'm wrapped in Edward's arms.

_Home._ I lift my arms almost without thinking about it and sink further into his embrace.

_Home._ I can feel his heart beating against my cheek and it echoes the cadence of my own. I think it might beat right out of my chest as he tightens his hold on me.

_Home._ The aching emptiness of the last several months begins to fade away and for the first time in months, I'm home.

I feel myself falling at this very moment. I'm not sure right away if it's happening physically or metaphorically, but I don't worry about hitting the ground because I'm in Edward's arms and his arms feel like home.

A soft hum breaks the spell and reality comes crashing down around me.

_This is wrong_.

I take a deep breath, and despite being completely overwhelmed by the scent and feel of Edward, I manage to pull myself away. I'm shaking as he looks at me for a long moment. His eyes are filled with an intensity that frightens me. He seems partly terrified, partly awe-struck. As he lifts his hand to my cheek again, I think briefly about surrendering to what my heart now obviously wants. Instead, I turn my head away and step back.

"Don't," I whisper. "Please."

His arm fall to his side with alarming speed.

"Bella, I'm..."

"No. I'm sorry. It's my fault, I shouldn't have let you get so close."

He steps back. "You didn't let me. It was my choice, and I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I just wanted..." He pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. "You just need to know that we're here for you. You need to understand that there are people here you can count on. People who love you."

My eyes snap to his, terror stricken. Love? _Love?_

"Bella," he begins again, obviously seeing my reaction.

"Don't," I cut him off, panicking. _Don't love me_, I think. "I can't let you."

"Bel-"

I don't wait to hear anymore, afraid I won't have the strength to deny him again. Instead I turn and run, refusing to look back.

~(~)~

* * *

**End Note: **

_Oh, no... a little angst. But don't worry, my loves. I'm a wuss, there will not be heart ache for very long. :)_

_**Thanks again for all of your reviews! If I haven't replied it was simply because of the whole virus thing. I'll try to get on that now that all is fixed, but please know that I've loved hearing your kind words, as well as your theories & thoughts! One or two of you actually guessed that Edward would show up while Bella was meeting Jasper this chapter (great catch there, by the way!), while others of you are aching for an EPOV. Don't worry, one is coming, but not until a bit later in the story. Hang in there for now, chickadees! :-) Thanks again for reading!  
_

_-Ginnie_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **

_Hi! Sorry for the delay this week, I meant to have this up last Friday! So... without further ado, here we go again! _

_Oh, wait, I take that back... There is a little 'ado' to do: _

_Thank you to my fabulous beta, __**SueBee**__, and as well to my pre-readers for this chapter, __**StellaBlueBella **__&__** Katmom. **__You ladies are the best! Also thank you to the individual who recommended "Arms" on **The Lemonade Stand**. You made my day when I saw that! :) _

~(~)~

**Disclaimer:****I do not own Twilight or the U.S. Marshals. :(**

* * *

Chapter 4:

I never did get in trouble for the night Edward brought me home from meeting Jasper at Garrett's Bar. That's not to say that there weren't lots of questions, but as Edward refused to tell Esme and Carlisle the whole story either, their concern soon shifted from what exactly had happened, to why it was we weren't telling them about it. They hadn't witnessed the exchange that took place right outside their front door, but it was obvious enough to them that something serious had happened. It wasn't missed by anyone involved that I'd immediately gone back to keeping them all at arm's length after that night.

Unfortunately, the change wasn't easy on any of us.

The truth was that I had come to care for my supposed foster parents a great deal and they'd obviously grown to care for me. I just couldn't risk them learning too much about me and endangering themselves. As it was, Edward knew too much. He cared too much.

I realized only too late just how foolish I'd been with him. The way I behaved around him was as though I actually wanted him to break through my walls. I didn't even try to keep him out. Not the night he first helped me with my math, not when he asked about my real name, and certainly not when he put his arms around me.

But now I'm paying for it. My heart broke a little the moment he let me go. With the exception of the day I buried my parents, I'd never felt quite as bereft as I did when I fled from him.

But poor Edward...

Obviously confused, obviously concerned, and believing I'm nothing more than a child? I can well imagine how it would horrify him to know that he might very well hold this "child's" heart. So I cannot let him see that he does.

I do not look at him unless I have to. I do not talk to him unless he demands it in class. Outside of school, I avoid him at all costs. Other than a single attempt to both apologize and talk some sense into me, he has taken to avoiding me as well. I go to school every day and sleepwalk through the hours, keeping myself especially numb for fourth period math. It's a relief when Spring Break arrives and I know I won't have to face him for an entire week.

With time off of school, I have to put some effort into discouraging Esme and Carlisle. They try to reach out to me in so many ways, with both small gestures and grand. I resist. Carlisle grows so worried that by Friday I get a call from Deputy Brandon telling me that he's called my "social worker" and asked for permission to take me to a grief counselor. Alice thinks from everything he's told her that it might be needed, but she settles for me talking to her several times over the next few days. She listens to me, but eventually says that I have to try harder or there's no point to me being here. She offers to move me. I can't bring myself to tell her she should.

I rethink that decision in early April when Dr. Cullen is the physician on call all weekend at the hospital and Esme plans an over the top girls' night for us. She's invited Victoria to come from Seattle for a visit as well, and I am unable to refuse without seeming like a complete ingrate. That, and Alice's warning rings loudly in my ears - _Try harder_.

Tori isn't nearly as bad as I feared from everything Esme told me of her teen years. She seems compassionate to my purported situation, but she's not exceedingly patient. By the time we've finished dinner and our first chick-flick, she's taken to ignoring me. I don't blame her. I'm not great company. I tell Esme my mom used to force me to do girls' night with her too and, even then, it wasn't really my thing. I do thank her for the effort though, and help her pick a nail polish color when we sit down to paint our nails. She helps me pick one out as well, and I let her paint my toes for me.

I'm just gathering up all the used cotton balls in order to throw them away when Tori asks Esme a question.

"So, two weeks until Hawaii, right? Have you found the perfect bikini yet?" she asks excitedly.

I stop what I'm doing and look up. _Hawaii?_

Esme meets my eyes for a moment and I swear she blushes a little. She turns to her adopted daughter and smiles.

"Carlisle and I decided it would be best if he attended that conference alone this year. We'll be going back for our anniversary next year instead. Can you believe we'll have been married for twenty-five years? Time flies."

I watch carefully and see that Tori hears everything Esme's not saying. I do too. The intimidating red head's eyes fall on me and then back to her mother.

"Esme, can I speak to you for a moment? Alone?"

I stand and gesture to my hands. "I'll just throw these out."

"You don't have to, Anna Bella..." Esme begins.

"No, it's fine," I smile. "I need something else to drink anyway. Can I get you anything?"

"No, thank you, dear," she answers. "I'm sorry." She frowns at Tori.

Tori just smiles. "I'll have some coffee, if you're offering. Do you mind?"

I smile back even as Esme protests again.

"I don't mind at all," I say. And I really don't.

I leave the room, glad to be free from the togetherness and alone with my thoughts for a few minutes. Once in the kitchen, I hear mother and daughter talking even though I busy myself with throwing out the trash and making some coffee. Esme always grinds her own beans, so the noise from that muffles their conversation as I go about the task. Still some of their words come through.

"...you've been looking forward to it for over a year."

"...not the right time."

"... she's almost eighteen."

"... can't leave her alone."

"... just a few days."

If I grind the coffee beans any longer, they'll turn to dust.

"No, Victoria. She's been through an ordeal," I hear Esme say as the grinder comes to a halt.

Their voices lower, but I can still hear.

"Were you like this with all of us?"

"Yes, I was. But even then... this is different, sweetheart. You and your brothers all had rough patches. It was to be expected. But I can't tell you how worried your father and I have been about her. Edward is worried as well. She was making progress, but now she hardly speaks to anyone at school. She only speaks to us when she has to. It's like she's a zombie sometimes. I just don't feel right leaving her now."

Once the coffee maker is brewing, I slide down the cabinets to sit on the floor. I knew they were worried, but I hadn't realized the scope of it. I hadn't realized I was affecting everyone else. First Edward, then Dr. Cullen, and now Esme. So much so that she'd cancelled a vacation she's been planning for over a year. I press my fingers to my forehead and drop my head to my knees.

Maybe it's time to leave. Maybe the safe-house would be best.

"So you heard?" Tori's voice asks, startling me with her proximity. My head snaps up to find her leaning against the counter not more than a few feet away from me.

I nod. "Yeah."

She sighs and crosses her arms over her chest, looking me over. "So, what are we going to do about it?"

I blink at her. "Um... I can talk to her." _Or leave_, I think to myself.

She scoffs. "I already tried. And, I've known her longer. Trust me, she has her mind made up. She won't leave you alone here. Not for a day."

"So what should I do? She shouldn't miss her trip because of me."

"No, she shouldn't." Tori glances towards the doorway and back. She drops her voice. "We need a plan."

"Okay... any ideas?" I ask, confused by what kind of plan she means.

"Well, I can work from just about anywhere as long as I give my boss some notice." She pulls out a Blackberry and starts pushing buttons. "They're supposed to leave on a Saturday and return the following Sunday. I can stay here with you Saturday 'til Thursday. But... I have a meeting in Seattle that particular Friday that I can't move. We'd need somebody else to stay with you on Thursday and Friday nights. Unless you have a friend from school you could crash with instead."

I pale. "I'm not really that close with anyone from school."

Tori tilts her head to one side. "And why is that? Were you a loner before you came to live with my mom and dad? Or is your anti-social behavior new?"

I laugh because she's just so matter of fact. I think a real teenager would be terrified of her. I'm only a couple of years younger than she is and I find her to be slightly hard to take.

"I guess I've always been a little shy, but now..." I shake my head. "It's just easier to keep to myself."

"That's bullshit," she says.

My eyes widen.

"It takes a lot of energy to be contrary all the time. Trust me; acting like I didn't care was a specialty of mine. I handled it by acting like a bitch raging against the world. You handle it by acting like a zombie unaware of the world. Both take effort."

I sit and contemplate her words for a moment. She grabs a mug from one of the cupboards and pours a cup of coffee for herself. Before she leaves the kitchen, she stops in front of me.

"I'll give you a couple of days to think about who you'd like to stay with, if you can think of anyone, and then I'm asking one of my brothers to help out. If Emmett doesn't have the night shift, I'm sure he can do it. If he can't, there's always Edward. Can you live with that?"

When I don't answer right away due to the rush of anxiety I feel, she nods and smiles impishly. "I'll take that as a yes."

Two weeks later, Esme and Carlisle are loading their suitcases into his Mercedes while Tori pulls her bag for the week out of her BMW. I watch them hug and exchange last minute instructions from the window of my room. When I see Carlisle glance up and wave, I wave back and head downstairs.

"You'll be okay here with Victoria?" he asks, whispering in my ear while I let him hug me goodbye.

"I'll be fine."

"Edward too?" he adds, giving me a meaningful look.

Emmett does end up with the night shift the week of the trip and Carlisle knows Edward's not the most comfortable choice for me because of the way we've both been acting since the night Jasper left. Unfortunately, with all four of their "children" insisting they take their trip to Hawaii, they've agreed to our plan anyway.

"It's fine," I promise him. "Really. Have fun."

He smiles and nods. "I will with my wife there. Thank you, Anna Bella. Tori, we really appreciate you doing this too."

He hugs his daughter again.

"If you need anything, don't be afraid to call. Day or night," Esme says, hugging me at the same time. I have to laugh, or else I would cry. She's so like my own mother sometimes.

"Darling, she's fine," Carlisle says, rescuing me from bursting into tears.

Tori puts her arm around my shoulder. "She has me. Of course, she's fine."

I roll my eyes and smile. "Go on. You have a plane to catch," I say. "We'll see you in a week."

Esme touches my cheek and reluctantly gets in the car. When she's seated and the door is shut, Carlisle walks back around to the driver's side and turns to us.

"If Edward gives you two any trouble you have my permission for Anna Bella to go with you to Seattle, Tori. I don't see any problem with her missing a day of school and have notified the principal to that effect. Emmett also said to let him know if there was anything you needed. You guys have his new number at work?"

We nod and he gets in the car, rolling the window down.

"Be good, girls," he says as he begins to back out of the driveway.

"We won't," Tori shouts.

I laugh at Carlisle's face and wave to Esme who looks worried already. I force a smile as they drive away and she seems to relax. When they're gone, Tori drags me inside and announces that playtime has begun.

The week with Victoria goes by really fast, but really well. She doesn't hover. She doesn't ask a lot of questions. She just demands that I stop trying so hard to be a recluse.

"It doesn't suit you," she says while I start dinner on Thursday evening.

"What doesn't suit who?" a warm voice floats into the kitchen. I sigh and try to fight down the butterflies in my stomach. They're so bad I don't even notice I'm blushing until Tori kicks my foot.

"Does he really make you that nervous?" she asks, gesturing to my cheeks. I shrug.

"Edward," Tori says, turning to him haughtily. "What kind of terror tactics are you using in your math classes these days?"

"Tori..." I hiss.

"What are you talking about?" he asks, setting down his duffle bag on the floor. "And hello, to you too, by the way."

"Hi, brother dear," Tori says, putting her hands on her hips. "Now, seriously... why is Bella scared to death of you?"

"What!" Edward practically shouts.

"I'm not scared of him!" I shriek, spinning around.

There's this weird moment where everyone is looking at each other and nobody is saying anything. I can see Tori trying to work things out, but then she scoffs.

"Geez, you guys I was just kidding."

"Why would you kid about that?" Edward asks, looking truly upset.

"Apparently, I misunderstood something. Not really my fault though, big brother. Especially considering you've been acting like there's a stick up your ass lately. Emmett sounds like he's about ready to move out. Even Carlisle's noticed."

Edward stiffens a little. "Yes, I am aware of Carlisle's opinion. And as for Emmett? He has my blessing to find his own place and stop mooching off of me anytime."

I frown. I don't like the way he's talking about his family, and worry that it's my fault. They've always seemed so close before. I turn back to the vegetables I'd been chopping and then work on dinner for another few minutes. In that time, I resolve to do something about the situation with Edward before this weekend is up. I'm not exactly sure how I will handle it, but I know he needs to stop torturing himself and everyone else just because I have major baggage.

After a brief goodbye, Tori leaves to head back to Seattle, telling me to call her if her brother doesn't behave. I assure her that we'll be fine and send her on her way.

When she's gone, I finish dinner while Edward heads up to his childhood room to unpack before rejoining me. He cleans the dishes and pans I've used so far, even though I tell him not to, insisting that he wants to help. The tone of his voice makes me look over at him and I realize he means more than just helping with the dishes.

When dinner is ready, Edward suggests that we eat in the family room, rather than at the dining table. We eat together in relative quiet, a movie on cable playing in the background to fill the silence. I don't pay much attention to it and, a few minutes after we finish our meal, I say goodnight. Any resolve I felt to speak to Edward before not-surprisingly disappeared with Tori an hour ago.

It's still early when I get to my room, so I take my time showering and even blow out my hair with a hairdryer and round-brush. I haven't done anything of the sort with my hair in months. It's longer than I remember it being and, with the fancy products that Esme purchased for me when I moved here, it's also amazingly shiny and soft.

Dressed in my favorite pajamas –flannel shorts, a long sleeve jersey shirt and fuzzy socks– I look through my closet absently, thinking I might as well pick my clothes for tomorrow. I run to my desk first to check the forecasted temperature on the internet before deciding on what I'll need to wear, and then decide to turn some music on while I'm already sitting in front of the computer. Once Pandora loads up a mix of my favorites, I go back to my closet.

A soft knock sounds on the door and startles me. I jump and feel myself flush in embarrassment. Calming my breath, I answer.

"Come in."

The door opens slowly, and only just a couple of inches.

"Hey, are you still up?" Edward's voice calls from the hallway.

"Yeah, I'm up," I answer softly.

"May I come in?" he asks, sounding as nervous as I feel.

"Of course."

"Hi," he says once the door is fully open.

"Hi," I say, surprised to see him in flannel pants and t-shirt. It's one of those grey ones with simple black letters that spell out NAVY. He looks... really good. That's actually a vast understatement, but I don't allow myself to go there.

"So I just got a call from Principle Greene," he says, pulling my attention from the letters across his chest. "The main water line leading into the school burst about an hour ago. We'll be on a two-hour delay tomorrow, or we might not have classes at all. It depends on whether or not the county can fix the break and get water restored to the school by 6am."

"Oh, wow."

"Yeah. I just wanted to let you know. You should be able to sleep in a little tomorrow. If you want."

I smile. "Thanks. You too, right?"

He chuckles. "Except for the phone call at six to tell me whether or not to come in to work, yeah."

"Oh, right," I laugh quietly.

"Anyway, I'm sorry to disturb you."

"You didn't."

"Oh?"

"No, I was just... doing nothing."

"You look..." he pauses and seems to fumble for words. "...ready for bed."

"I am," I answer.

"So... maybe I'll let you get back to that."

"Okay," I say smiling, because he looks so uncertain and adorable with his brow all wrinkled.

"Okay," he says.

"Goodnight," I offer.

"You too, Bella. Sleep well."

"Sleep well, Edward," I answer, watching him with a certain degree of disappointment when he backs out of the room and closes the door behind him. Did I want him to stay and say something else? Yes. Is it better that he didn't? Probably.

The next morning, I open my eyes wearily to another muted grey morning on the Olympic Peninsula. I stretch and hope silently that Edward got the good night's sleep I wished him. I certainly didn't. I've been weaned off of the medication Carlisle prescribed me over three months ago, but last night I could have used it. I don't know why my dreams were so vivid or so violent. I shiver at the memory of the worst of them.

Rolling over, I decide to check the clock. I'd left it set to get up for school just in case we had to go, so I'm surprised to see it's already after 10:30. I sit up suddenly and throw the covers off, running to the window first to make sure Edward's car is in the driveway and he hasn't left. The car's there, so I turn around and listen for any noise coming from elsewhere in the house. I hear none.

That's when I notice my door. It's open 3/4 of the way and I'm 99% sure that I locked it last night before going to bed. It's a habit I've had since college and one that's become more ingrained in the last five months.

I'm immediately suspicious and walk towards it like it's going to bite me. Alarm bells start going off in my head as my heart pounds in my chest. Then a thought runs unbidden through my mind.

_Someone's in the house. Someone's here in my room. _

I freeze in place and look around quickly, spinning in place. I see no one.

I turn back to the door and try to remember getting up to open it. I can't, so I turn around again and go to the closet. I open it and am relieved it's empty. I dash inside and find the duffle bag off of the top shelf. It looks untouched at well. I crouch down, open it and feel around in the bottom. The envelope is still there. I exhale in relief, stand up and contemplate whether or not I'm overreacting. Peering out of my closet, I look around my room again to see if I missed any signs.

The only other thing out of place looks to be my copy of Wuthering Heights. I was reading last night before I fell asleep. It should be in my bed, or maybe on the floor, but instead it's now sitting on my desk. Which is across the room from my bed.

Suddenly something occurs to me and I don't know whether to be angry or more terrified than I was before.

_Edward._

Either it was Edward in my room. Or it was someone else and Edward is in danger too.

As I think and listen, the silence in the house seems deafening now. If he were alright, wouldn't he be up? He should be making some sort of noise, snoring or something, but I hear nothing. Without much thought of what I would do if there were actually somebody here to hurt me, I step out in the hall and move as quietly but purposefully as I can. I reach the other end second floor where Emmett and Edward's old bedrooms are and pause. Edward's door is open.

Fear begins to take hold as I creep closer to the wooden frame. I think I can hear him breathing in there, but I'm too scared to move any faster. My eyes remain locked on the floor and then scan the periphery of the room as it comes into view. It's like one of those scenes out of a horror movie where the suspenseful music builds to a crescendo and you think something terrifying is about to happen.

And then just as it often happens in the movies, there turns out to be nothing frightening in there at all. In fact, the sight before me as I finally come to stand in Edward's doorway is anything but frightening.

He's asleep. And shirtless. And apparently unharmed.

Edward is face down in bed, tangled up in his white and blue plaid sheets, and naked from the waist up. I blink and watch the muscles in his back expand with his breathing. The movement quickly saps all of my attention. I can't even remember why I came in here anymore. At all.

It's impossible not to notice that he's extremely well-toned. He's not bulky by any means, but definitely muscular. I'm horrified to find that I'm blatantly ogling him. The longer I stand here, the harder it becomes to turn around and walk away. Somehow I manage to do so, but on my way out I trip and stub my toe on the doorframe.

The cry that escapes me is really loud and Edward stirs. I slap my hand over my mouth and hop out the door, stopping halfway down the hall when I hear his sleepy voice behind me.

"Bella?"

I stop and turn slowly, having no idea how I'm going to explain why I'm hobbling away from his room. Fortunately, he must have called out while still in his bed, because he's not standing anywhere I can see him. Before that can change, I hop faster down the hall and disappear inside my room, closing the door behind me.

Fifteen minutes later, after swallowing down my embarrassment for freaking out over nothing, I'm dressed for the day and ready to reemerge from my room. I'm fairly sure that school must have been cancelled, so I check the Forks High website to confirm it before heading downstairs to get some breakfast. I silently hope that Edward went back to sleep, but that hope is squashed as soon as I hit the ground floor.

The smell of coffee wafts towards me as I make my way towards the kitchen. A muted crunching sound can be heard as I approach, and I slow, stopping in the doorway to just look at him for a moment. Edward is sitting at the island countertop with a bowl of cereal, a cup of coffee and the newspaper. He's watching me too and tries to smile even though his mouth is full of whatever it is he's eating. I can't help but giggle when a dribble of milk escapes.

"Good morning," I say as I walk in the room.

"Morning," he answers when his mouth is no longer full. "Did you sleep alright?"

I glance at his face and notice his expression is a mixture of concern and something else that looks a little like guilt. A thought occurs to me and I'm suddenly in a teasing mood, so I smile to myself and just go with it.

"I slept okay," I say as I turn my back to him and reach for the cupboard above the coffee maker. "Did you... Mr. Stalker?" I add nonchalantly.

I get no reply of course, so I glance back at Edward as I pull a coffee mug down. I'm not surprised that he's frozen mid-chew and looking completely blindsided. I have a hard time holding in my laughter as he swallows loudly and tries to form words.

"I beg your pardon," he manages.

"I said... Did you sleep well, Mr. Stalker," I repeat. This time I fail to hold in the giggle when I sneak another look at his face.

His eyebrows reach his hairline and he sputters at me. "What are you...? Why do you...? I never..."

"Well, you were in my room last night, weren't you?" I ask, pouring my coffee. "I mean, I really hope it was you, but I can only guess since I'm fairly sure that you waited until I was asleep to sneak in."

He says nothing while I go about putting the coffee pot away and getting some milk. I look up when I've retrieved it and raise an eyebrow.

"That's a little stalker-ish, don't you think?"

This time he looks utterly panicked and I really don't know what's gotten into me. I've never teased him like this before. I've barely even spoken to him in the last month. Realizing this, I start to think maybe this was a bad idea. I begin to apologize at the same time he does.

"I'm just teasing–"

"Bella... I'm sorry. You were–" He stops and looks up at me. "Wait, you were teasing me?"

"Yes, of course," I say, trying to offer him a contrite smile. "I am curious about one thing though."

The relief on his face is palpable and he smiles. "Anything."

"How did you get in? I'm almost 100% sure I locked the door."

His face falls a bit, but he looks properly abashed, so I know I can't be too mad at him.

"Um, there are little screwdriver-like keys above all of the doorframes in the house. I used one of those."

"Why? I mean, like I said, I'm not really mad, but what made you feel you had a right to use one of those and barge into my locked bedroom without gaining permission?" I ask calmly.

He sighs and rubs his face, uttering an expletive under his breath. "Okay, look, I promise that I didn't just barge in. I knocked, but you didn't wake up. You were having a nightmare."

I blink and put my coffee down. "And you could hear me?"

"Yes," he answers, gauging my reaction before continuing. "You sounded really distressed. I..." he sighs, running his hand through his hair. "I got scared. I thought maybe..." He shakes his head and drops his hand. "At one point I guess I was worried that somehow, someone had gotten in there and was hurting you. I probably would have broken the door down if the key hadn't been right there."

I snort. "That's funny."

"Funny?"

I smile and shake my head. "Not funny-amusing, just funny-ironic. I worried almost the same thing this morning when I saw that the door was open. When I didn't find anyone in my room, I thought..." I shrug. "I don't know. I just panicked a little since I knew you were home, but I couldn't hear any noise in the house." I laugh, but it comes out bitterly. "You don't even snore, do you know that? I thought all men snore."

Edward's eyes grow surprised. "You were worried? About _me_?" he asks, surprise evident in his voice as well. It makes my cheeks flush and I look away, shrugging.

"I always worry about you. And Esme and Carlisle," I add quickly. "My biggest fear is that you guys will get hurt because of me."

"That's your biggest fear?" he asks, incredulous. "Not that someone might want to hurt _you_," he clarifies. "But that _we_ might end up collateral damage?"

I cringe because it's truer than even I want to admit. There's nothing worse I can think of than the Cullens getting hurt. Not missing the Olympics, or never seeing Phoenix again, or even getting killed myself. I mean, were it just me, what else would I have to lose at this point anyway? But it's not just me anymore.

Despite my best efforts to stay detached, the Cullens have come to mean so much to me; more than I can explain, and certainly more than I should tell Edward ––especially Edward. He means more to me than I am even willing to admit to myself.

I hear the scraping of his chair and feel, more than see, him walk around the island until he's standing right in front of me.

"Is that why you refused to speak to me after that night?" he asks. "Because I told you that we care about you, and you think that by keeping us at arm's length you can keep us safe?"

I keep my eyes locked on my coffee mug, but nod after a moment.

"Oh, Bella..." Edward sighs, trying to get me to lift my head by placing his fingers at my chin. I know that if I look at him, he'll see everything I'm feeling in my eyes and I really can't afford that now.

Unfortunately, he lowers his voice and pleads with me in a tone I could never deny. "Please look at me, Anna Bella."

The instant my eyes meet his I'm reminded of the first day we met, and I might as well be lying flat on my back again because I'm just as helpless now. Does he know? Can he see? I feel transparent, like my eyes are telling him everything.

_I love you. I'm afraid for you. I never want to leave you. But I can't ever have you. _

Before I know it, I'm blinking back tears and Edward pulls me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me tightly.

"Come 'ere," he murmurs, giving me no option.

Just like the first time, he feels like home to me, and I relax into him, unable not to. Burying my face in his t-shirt, I draw my hands close to my cheeks and fist the material of his shirt tightly. I breathe him in and try not to lose myself as he holds me. If I do, I know I won't be able to stop. I haven't truly let go of my emotions since I buried my parents. Nor have I been able to be completely open about all I'm feeling since I came here. I know that I'm growing dangerously close to my breaking point, and if I get there, it's all coming out whether I want it to or not.

The scariest part is that Edward, this incredible man who I feel more for than I ever have before, could break me so easily. Worse than that, he wouldn't even mean to. He would do it with the best of intentions, the kindest of words, or the softest of touches. Still, I'm unable to leave the comfort of his arms as he holds me. I want to stay right here forever because, breath by breath, minute by minute, the weight of everything I'm holding onto inside me starts to dissipate.

Edward seems to sense it too.

"Better?" he asks, squeezing me just a bit tighter before relaxing his hold and pulling back to look at me.

"Better," I answer softly, surprised when my voice doesn't tremble.

He smiles and steps back a bit. "Good. Now maybe we can talk about a few things?"

I swallow nervously, but nod. "I'm sorry," I rasp. At the same time, I realize I'm still holding onto him like a dying woman, so I let go of his shirt like it was on fire.

"Don't apologize," he says softly, misunderstanding. "You've done nothing wrong. If either of us is out of line, it's me. I just thought you could use a hug."

"No," I say, shaking my head. "That's not what I meant. You weren't out of line –at all. I just meant that I'm sorry I've been acting the way I have for the last month or so. I just thought, I still think it would have been better –easier for all of us– if no one got attached."

"Well, it's a little too late for that now," he smiles.

I snap my eyes to his. "Please don't say that."

He examines my face for a moment. "Are you really _that _scared? Do you really believe you're in that much danger?"

I close my eyes.

He touches my chin. "You're safe here, Bella. The FBI, or the US Marshals, or whoever it is, wouldn't have just left you unprotected if you weren't."

I sigh. "I'm safe here for _now_. That could change in a heartbeat though. And at some point I'll have to–" I stop short.

"What? You'll have to what?"

I shake my head, not believing how close I came to talking about the trial and criminal who murdered my parents.

"Nothing," I say stepping around him. I turn and face him again. "See? I can't let you in. I can't talk to you about this. I'll make a mistake, and you'll hear something you shouldn't. And all it would take is for the wrong person to overhear-"

He stops me. "Listen to me for a second. That would be a risk for you anywhere, right? But you're not just anywhere, you're here with us. Now, I believe there's a reason for that, Bella, and no matter what you think, you can't keep the rest of us safe by pushing us away. You'll only end up hurting yourself."

"But don't you see?" I shout. "That's exactly what will happen anyway! Someday I'll have to leave you! Either someone will find out where I am, or the time will come for me to testify and face those responsible for my parents' murders. Either way, I'll lose you!"

I don't realize the words are going to come out until they already are, and my cheeks flame in embarrassment.

"No you won't," Edward insists, stepping closer to me. "I told you. It's too late for that. You're stuck with me now; with us. As rag-tag a family as this is, it's yours now too. If you want it."

I drop my head and wipe away the random tears that still threaten to spill over. "I don't... I can't..." I sputter, frustrated. "I just came down here for breakfast."

Edward sighs. "So, why don't we start with toast and coffee, then work up to the rest?"

I chew on my lip, but stay silent. What can I say to that?

"We're already involved, Bella. Let us help you. Let me help."

"You can't help me."

"I can try. Let's just take it one step at a time. Step one can be breakfast."

A plate with some toast on it slides into my view, followed by the coffee I'd poured earlier.

I feel a smile threaten the corner of my lips and lift my eyes to meet his warm gaze. I wish so much that I could tell him everything and he could understand, but I can't. So I decide I'll take what I can get.

"Okay, then," I nod. "What did you have in mind for step two?"

~(~)~

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**End Notes:**

_So... a little progress, some honesty, and baby steps. Good?  
_

_More coming soon... Saturday maybe? _

_Thanks for reading! -Ginnie_


	5. Chapter 5

_Hi Again! _

_Thank you for all the reviews and the wonderful response to the last chapter. I think you guys are going to like this one, so we'll get right to it. _

_Thanks to **SueBee0619** for betaing, and putting up with my last minute changes/additions. ;) And thanks also to **StellaBlueBella **for the superb feedback!  
_

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**Dislcaimer:**** All fictional characters, government agencies, and brands still belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_.**  
**_

_From Chapter 4—_

_"What did you have in mind for step two?"_

_**~(~)~**_

**Chapter 5:**

.

Edward sits down across from me and opens the paper with one hand. With the other he slides a jar of blackberry preserves towards me.

I wonder how he knows that it's my favorite.

He still hasn't answered my question, but not long after I start eating my toast, he clears his throat and smiles at me.

"So, it's Friday. What about a movie?"

"A movie?"

He nods, a pensive look on his face. "Yeah, we could use a distraction. It's zero-pressure fun, you know?"

"Okay. Yeah, I guess so."

He smiles again and I feel my traitor cheeks heat up. "I need to run by the school first. Since class was cancelled unexpectedly, I have to pick up some work that I'll need to finish over the weekend, but after that we could go," he says.

"Are you even allowed to take one of your students to the movies?" I ask, regretting the question as soon as I've voiced it.

He's quiet a moment, and I hear him fold the paper.

"Honestly, Bella, I'm already acting in a more familial capacity this weekend anyway. All of the faculty at the school and half the town know that I'm staying with you. It's all on the up and up." He shrugs, seeming very matter of fact about the whole thing.

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want you to get in trouble over me. For anything."

He sighs. "If it weren't such a small town you wouldn't even be my student, but things being the way they are in Forks, this is just something a lot of the faculty and staff have to deal. Unless, of course, you prefer not to be seen with me? Now that I would understand. I mean,who wants to be seen with their dorky math teacher?"

He's joking I can tell, but I can't help the protest that leaves my lips.

"Dorky!"

He chuckles. "Yes, dorky."

I smile. "You're anything but dorky. Unless you keep using the word 'dorky', then I may have to reconsider."

He laughs more fully and I join him.

"So a movie then?"

I lift my eyes to meet his gaze. "Yeah, that would be okay."

"Good. Here are the show-times."

He passes me the paper and I look at it while we finish breakfast. Afterwards, he goes upstairs to get cleaned up so he can drive over to the high school and get what he needs for the next couple days. He asks me if I want to ride with him, and I can't think of a reason not to, so I do. As soon as he finishes up at the school, we leave for Port Angeles.

We stop for lunch at a little diner on the way out of town. The moment we walk in, I can't help but think it's the kind of place my dad would have loved; they even have his favorite kind of cobbler on the menu. Things like that make me contemplative, so I'm quiet for most of lunch and during the rest of the drive.

"You seem thoughtful," Edward comments in between songs on the radio.

I nod. "Mm-hmm."

"May I ask what about?"

"My dad," I admit.

Edward nods. "Was that what your nightmare was about last night?"

I sigh. "I don't entirely remember. Why?"

"No reason. I was just curious."

"Why? Did I say anything? You know... in my sleep?" I ask, suddenly afraid of what may have slipped out of my mouth.

"You didn't say much when you were crying, Bella. What did come out after was mostly incoherent."

"Mostly?" I say, my voice cracking over the word.

"Don't worry, you didn't reveal the top-secret location of Area 51 or anything. I think you may have mentioned your father and mother. Other than that I didn't understand it. Except for something about swans."

I feel myself pale a little. "Swans?"

"That's what it sounded like."

I say nothing else, thinking that if I try to offer some overly detailed explanation then he will know I'm lying, or trying to hide something. Fortunately, Edward lets me just have some time with my thoughts. I appreciate that he isn't forcing the conversation, though I wonder why. Doesn't it seem odd that I would have been having a nightmare about a swan? Maybe not since most people know that dreams make little sense.

I try to remember what my nightmare last night was about. I think it was the one where it's the day of my parents' murder and I know it's going to happen, so I'm running frantically, trying every method I can think of to warn them. To stop it. But I never can. I usually wake up in a cold sweat with the image of their lifeless bodies freshly emblazoned in my mind's eye.

That wasn't how I woke up this morning however, and I wonder why last night was different. I wonder if it was something Edward did once he got the door open that changed the pattern. Which makes me wonder what exactly he did do once he saw I wasn't in trouble, but was just having a bad dream.

"Can I ask you a question?" I ask, turning towards him.

He glances at me out the corner of his eye. "Sure."

"What did you do when you got the door open?"

"You mean last night?" he asks.

"Yeah."

"I don't know... stopped having a heart attack?" He grins at me. "Really, I just double checked the room and made sure there were no monsters under your bed or in the closet or anything."

I smile. "How'd that turn out?"

"Monster free."

"Did you try to wake me up?" I ask.

He's quiet a moment, his fingers tightening and relaxing around the steering wheel. "Yes."

"And?"

"You don't remember?" he asks quietly.

I shake my head and then remember he's driving and not looking at me. "No," I answer.

He nods. "I thought you'd woken up. You stopped crying and..." He pauses and swallows, "You said my name. You seemed fine after that, but I left the door open just in case."

I let his confession wash over me. I'd either woken from my dream and seen him, but not enough to remember now, or, what seems more likely (considering how often he's appeared in my dreams of late), I started dreaming about Edward as soon as he stirred me from my nightmare. If that was the case, heaven knows what else he could have heard me say.

I close my eyes in embarrassment and cover my face before he can see how red I am. I'm struggling to think of what I can possibly say to him that won't embarrass me further when my cell phone rings and I breathe a sigh of relief. There are only about five people with my phone number, but for the last week, I've gotten a call every day around this time.

"It must be 3:30," I say and rummage through my purse to find the phone.

"Esme?" Edward asks.

"You know her well, I see."

Edward chuckles and turns down the radio as I answer the call.

Esme tells me she and Carlisle are having a fabulous time in Hawaii. The conference Dr. Cullen was attending in Honolulu finished yesterday and they took a small plane to another island last night. She sounds tired, and explains that they woke up at three in the morning Hawaii time just to be shuttled to the top of a volcano and bike all the way back down. When she asks how school was today, I tell her that it was cancelled and explain about the broken pipe. She's immediately worried, so I let her talk to Edward for the next ten minutes. I have no idea what they talk about because I zone out as soon as I look out the window and see the sun peeking through the clouds.

By the time we get to Port Angeles, there is hardly a cloud in the sky and I'm nearly giddy that we have an hour of daylight to burn before the movie starts. We get our tickets and then walk towards the waterfront, eventually finding a warm spot in the sun to just sit. The ground is a little damp, but I don't mind at all.

"Your hair has red in it," Edward says at some point.

I smile. "So does yours."

He chuckles. "I believe I have heard that before."

We continue watching the water in front of us. A Coast Guard ship sails by off in the distance, its bright orange stripe catching my attention and making me curious about something.

"May I ask you a question?" I ask tentatively, still facing forward.

"Of course," Edward says.

"What did you do when you were in the Navy?"

He chuckles. "That's a Coast Guard vessel, Bella. Navy are grey."

"Um, thanks there genius, I did see that. The bold writing on the side sort of gave it away."

He laughs again and I see him watching me out the corner of my eye. After a moment, he seems to sigh contentedly and rests his chin on his knees before continuing.

"I was a Boatswain's Mate, which is basically a glorified maintenance man. We did all kinds of stuff, anything necessary to keep our ship up to regulation every day. Painting was somewhat of a specialty of mine."

My head twists to look at him without my permission. "Painting?"

He chuckles. "Yeah. Apparently the proper use of a drop-cloth is a highly coveted skill in enlisted men."

I must look at him like he has three heads or something, because his hands go to his hair and he scratches his head, looking embarrassed "Not what you imagined, huh?"

I giggle, and bite my lip because he's ridiculously adorable. "Not really, no, but that's okay."

"It's lame, I know. I went in hoping to do something cool like work on an air-craft carrier, or maybe become a pilot someday. I just didn't stay in long enough, or go to college first."

I nod and turn my face back towards the water, closing my eyes instinctively when I feel the little bit of heat the sun's rays offer in the waning light of day.

"You like the sun, don't you?" Edward almost whispers.

"Very much. Do you?"

"I do. The _Roosevelt_, that's the ship I was stationed on, was homeported in Florida. You know, the Sunshine State and all that."

"Do you miss it?" I ask, my eyes still closed.

"Sometimes. I missed my family more. I wasn't here for Emmett's high school graduation because I was at sea. Then September 11th happened and I was in the Arabian Gulf when Tori's adoption went through. They didn't even know where I was though, or if I was even getting their letters when they sent them. Esme hated that. I think she aged twenty years in the forty-eight months I spent on active duty."

I open my eyes and look at him. He's staring off at the water now too, his face thoughtful and seemingly ethereal in the sunlight.

"You love them very much," I say.

He nods. "I do. It was hard when I first came to live with them, though. I never thought I'd ever get over losing my, quote-un-quote, real family," he says, pausing thoughtfully. "I don't really remember my father, but my grandmother spoke well of him. And even though she couldn't take care of me, my real mother called me every week for the first year or two after she sent me to live with my grandmother. I remember listening to bedtime stories over the phone."

He's quiet a moment. "Most of my other memories have faded, but I can still remember my mom's voice and I know she loved me. And my Grandma Beth was the greatest. She never would have let me fall into state custody, but she had a sudden stroke in her sleep and they couldn't find her will, or my mom."

"I'm sorry," I say, realizing for maybe the first time that not every child who ends up in foster care had a horrible life or crappy parents before then.

"Don't be sorry for me," he says, granting me a breathtakingly soft smile and looking me straight in the eye. "I've had the rare privilege of being gifted with two families in my life. Both who loved me very much."

I blink back tears and look away, out over the water. He continues, his tone more casual.

"I'll be honest with you, Bella. Losing my grandmother was hard. Being in a group home before Esme and Carlisle came along was really hard. And finding out my mom wasn't just missing, but dead and had had another child that I never knew about? Yeah, that really sucked. To be honest, I think that's what drove me to join the navy without thinking through what I was giving up. But in the end, I guess it all worked out the way it was meant to."

It takes me some time to find my voice to respond.

"I hope that I'll be able to think that way some day. I just don't know if I can. My parents weren't supposed to die."

Edward shakes his head and sighs. "No, they weren't. But, Bella..." He scoots over and turns to face me. "Even if you never look at your own experience the way I look at mine, you can be happy again. Just give it some time."

I nod and wipe away the tear or two that have escaped.

"Maybe," I say, and, at the moment, that's the most I can offer him.

The sun, which had been shining so brightly for the first time since I moved here, eventually dips down in the horizon and is eclipsed by some clouds off in the distance. The chill that defines the Pacific Northwest returns, and I wrap my arms around myself and lean towards the man seated at my side a lot more than I should.

Edward suggests we head to the theater for our movie and offers me his jacket. I politely decline and tell him I'll be warmer once we're moving. It's mostly true, but I'm actually afraid that if he gives me his jacket, I might be overcome by the urge to sniff it. Really, it wouldn't be my fault though. The man just smells good.

Once we get to the theater, we have just enough time to get some popcorn and a drink before the movie starts. It's a Friday night so there's a line. We're waiting and talking randomly about the almost criminal price of a large tub of popcorn when I notice two people in the next line over staring at me. They turn away and whisper to each other before looking back at me. I avert my eyes and face the front of the concession stand.

"Are you sure you don't want anything besides a drink?" Edward asks, as we step forward a bit in line.

"No, thank you," I say softly, noticing that the couple from before are now talking more animatedly and I hear the phrase _three-position_ clearly. I step closer to Edward and try to hide as my heart begins beating wildly. When the guy next to us leans around Edward to get a better look at me, or perhaps to get my attention, I bolt.

"I'm going to go use the restroom," I say suddenly and turn away.

"Are you okay?" Edward asks, surprised by my odd departure no doubt.

"I'm fine," I say over my shoulder, but I keep walking.

After several minutes of hiding in one of the stalls, my panic attack is mostly under control, so I wash my hands and take a deep breath before returning to the lobby.

"Hey," Edward says as soon as I appear. "Are you alright?"

I blush. "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry about that."

"You scared me a little," he laughs, and I smile apologetically as he hands me my Cherry Coke.

"I didn't mean to. I just realized that I'd never be able to make it through the whole movie."

He looks unconvinced, but lets it go as we head in to find some seats.

The movie is decent –funny, but not over the top. I'm just saying so when someone jogs up behind me and taps me on the shoulder on our way out of the theater. Surprised, Edward and I both turn to see who it is.

"Hey, I'm sorry to bother you, but... you're Isabella Swan, aren't you?"

My heart stops. The whole world creeps to a standstill at the same time. I suck in a breath and it feels as though the man's words are echoing off of every surface and bouncing back to stun me.

It takes me a moment to gather my wits and my voice.

"I'm sorry," I say, breathlessly. "You must have me confused with someone else."

The man looks confused, and shakes his head, still smiling. "No, I'm sure you're her. You have to be. My little sister idolizes you. She has your picture on her wall at home. We watched you on TV at the 2008 Olympics and saw you shoot last summer at the National Championships in Georgia."

I pale. "No, that wasn't me. I'm sorry, I..."

"Oh, come on. You look exactly like her. Are you sure you aren't Isabella Swan?" the guy asks, grinning in a way that I'm sure would normally charm a girl. It makes me want to throw up.

His female companion has joined him now and he finally seems to notice he's making me uncomfortable, so he lowers his voice.

"Look, I'm sorry. If you aren't her, then I'm being an ass. But if you are her, then my sister is going out for her first nationals this summer in air rifle and she is a huge, huge fan of yours. She would love an autograph. It would mean the world to her."

I whimper and feel unbelievably guilty. Shooting isn't the kind of sport that gets you stopped on the street very often, but because of that, the community's somewhat of a close family. It feels horrible to have to deny this man's request, but I can feel all the pairs of eyes on me and I know I have to do just that.

"I'm sorry," I start to say, but a hand on my shoulder stops me. Edward's voice is low in my ear.

"It's just an autograph. Give the man what he wants and let's get out of here."

The guy smiles anew. "Please? She wants to be just like you."

I look back at Edward confused, and slightly terrified. His face is eerily calm, but he glances around to the small crowd gathering. There are people looking on, trying to figure out who I am or why someone would want my autograph. I need to get out of here before someone takes my picture or something else equally crazy. Not that that's ever been an issue in the past, but it would just be my luck that it would happen now when I'm supposed to be hiding from people who would rather see me dead than signing autographs.

The guy in front of me holds out a piece of paper and a pen. "Please? Can I just get an autograph for her?"

I swallow hard, and with shaky hands take the paper and pen. "What's her name?" I rasp out.

"Bree Tanner. And it's B-R-E-E."

"Bree," I repeat, writing her name the best that I can considering the amount of adrenaline coursing through my system. I scrawl a quick note wishing her luck in the nationals and encouraging her to go out there and win one for me. Then I sign my name. My real name.

"Thank you so much," Bree's brother says when I hand him the note. "She'll be on cloud nine when she gets this. I'm sorry for hassling you though."

I smile weakly. "No problem."

"Well, it means a lot. You really are her hero. And who knows, maybe we'll see each other in June at the nationals, huh?"

I shake my head. "Not this year."

He looks confused and then there's a moment of understanding and I know the expression that washes over his face. It's pity.

"Oh, God," he breathes. "I'm sorry. I forgot. Oh, crap... I am so, _so_ sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"Don't worry about it," I manage. "Tell your sister I wish her all the best."

The man nods and backs away penitently as his date whispers to him. "What was that all about Riley?"

With Riley gone, I'm two seconds from falling into a million pieces. I'm afraid to move. I'm afraid to even look at Edward. I'm afraid of what he's going to say or do, afraid of what will happen now that my cover has just been blown wide open. Suddenly, his hands are on my shoulders and he's turning me to face him.

"What do you need?" he asks, his voice warm and full of concern.

I close my eyes and exhale. "Just get me out of here."

~(~)~

The next thing I know we're in the car and speeding towards Forks. I'm wearing Edward's jacket, but it hasn't stopped me from shivering almost non-stop since we left the theater. Only when we're halfway home do I start to feel warm again. I have one thought running through my mind on a continuous loop, but I'm afraid to act on it. I know I need to call Jasper and tell him what happened. I just can't make myself move.

I'm in denial. I keep telling myself that maybe that didn't just happen. I keep hoping I'll wake up and find that I was dreaming. Glancing over at Edward though, his face eerie in the light of the LEDs coming off of the dash board, I know I'm awake.

"Are you going to say anything?" I ask, finally breaking the silence of the last half hour.

He looks over at me, seemingly startled by my voice. "I don't know what I should say, Bella. I just want to get you home right now."

"Are you mad?"

He looks shocked. "Why would I be mad?"

"I don't know," I say. And I feel cold again. I realize that what I'm most afraid of right now is his reaction. Suddenly, or maybe finally, the tears start falling. I don't even realize I'm making any noise until I hear Edward's voice.

"Bella? Bella, what's wrong?"

I shake my head because I don't even know. I think the weight of everything is starting to come down on me, but that doesn't make any sense because what happened may not even be a big deal and I'm safe for now. If not, then Jasper will come get me, or I'll run. And it's that thought that turns my cries into sobs. I don't want to go.

I hear Edward call my name again and then the car is slowing. It's raining again and completely dark outside as a result, so I have no idea where we are when we stop. I only know that, unexpectedly, my door opens and Edward's at my side. He unfastens my seatbelt and turns me towards him. He's speaking comforting words and telling me he's not mad; telling me not to be afraid, that he promises to protect me.

Then he lifts me out of the seat and, in a motion that's unbelievably graceful, sits back down with me cradled in his arms.

"Bella, please don't cry. You're fine. It's fine."

I bury my face in the crook of his neck and hope to God that he's right. He holds me tighter as I wrap my arms around his neck in a vice grip.

"I've got you," he whispers. "You're okay."

I nod against his neck and his hold on me tightens. It's almost too tight, but is just what I need. I feel myself calming and exhale a breath. I think it must rush over the skin of Edward's neck because he shudders beneath me and his own breath hitches.

For the second time tonight the world seems to stop.

Everything changes all of a sudden and, at every point of contact, the feeling between our two huddled bodies becomes charged. I breathe slowly, but shallowly, and hear Edward trying to do the same. His arms stay wrapped around me, but I feel his posture change. Before I even know what I'm doing, I turn my face and place a kiss on his neck below his jaw. Edward goes still. I do it again. His arms pull me closer. I do it again and feel him tremble at the contact.

Then he leans back. His voice is a rough groan when he says my name. I know it's a plea.

"Bella..."

And I know. He doesn't have to say any more. I pull my face away from him and loosen my arms around his neck. I keep my eyes down as he releases his hold on me.

I've crossed a line. _The_ line. I don't doubt that his next words will be a rebuke.

I am surprised when instead he grips my face and hesitates. I look up just in time to see him close his eyes and kiss the top of my head. His lips linger longer than necessary and when he pulls away, one of his thumbs strokes my cheek before he lets me go. My eyes fall to the floor as he shifts to get out of the car. When I've moved aside to let him up, he gets out and closes the door behind him. He walks around the car and opens the driver's side door a moment later to get in.

"Put your seatbelt on. We need to get you home," he says quietly, starting the engine and quickly pulling back onto the highway.

There is an undeniable awkwardness between us when we do finally reach the house. At least it distracts me from my earlier panic. I feel calmer now, strange as that is. I'm still cold, most especially when we get in the house and I give Edward his jacket back. We stand in the foyer, both of us trying to decide what we should say to each other. I break the silence first.

"I'm going to go take a shower and go to bed. I have to call Jasper first, but..."

"Will you let me know what he tells you?" Edward responds immediately.

I meet his eyes. He looks worried now.

I nod. "Of course."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I'll be in the study," he informs me.

"Okay, I'll be upstairs," I answer.

He nods and I slip by him, escaping up the stairs and into my room. I turn the water on in the shower before pulling my phone out and dialing.

Deputy Whitlock doesn't answer at first. It goes to voicemail. I'm not sure if I should leave a message, so I don't. Fortunately, he calls back right away.

"Bella?"

"Hi, Jasper."

"What can I do for you? Is everything okay?"

I sigh. "I don't know. Somebody recognized me this evening. In Port Angeles, at the movie theater."

I hear a muffled voice and then a door close. "Bella, how many times have I told you to be careful about mentioning anything about your location."

"Oops. Sorry."

"It's okay, I happen to be at the field office at the moment so it's fine, but you can't do that anymore. Are you safe right now?"

"Yes. I just had somebody recognize me from the Olympics. He asked for my autograph and said my real name at least a couple of times. The guy's little sister is an air rifle competitor."

"You were in public?"

"At a movie theater. There were some people looking on and Edward was there."

Jasper let out a frustrated breath. "Well, damn. That's not the best news."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, sugar. I'll get our people on it. We'll see if there's been anything new pop up on the internet that would send anyone your way."

"Okay."

"Did you get a name for the man who approached you? Even a first name would help," he asks.

"Um, I think it was Riley. And his little sister is named Bree. I think he said it was Bree Tanner or something like that. She is supposed to be going to nationals in June."

"That helps. We can find her and then we'll find him. As long as he was who he says he was. Where are you now?"

"At home."

"Did anyone follow you?"

"No."

"You're certain?"

"Yes. Edward stopped off on a side road for a few minutes on the way home. There were no cars on the highway when we started driving again."

"That was good thinking. Be sure to thank him for me. Is he there with you now?"

"He's downstairs," I say, not mentioning that Edward's "good thinking" was most likely unintentional.

"Is he asking a lot of questions? Do you need me to remind him of our arrangement?"

I smile at the concern in Jasper's voice. "No, I think he's spooked, but he hasn't even asked me about it yet."

"He probably will. At this point, since he already knows your real name, just answer his questions in lieu of him Googling you or something. The less cyber-activity related to you the better. Got it?"

"Got it," I say.

"Try not to worry. We'll work it out. You know what to do if you get into trouble, or if I call back and tell you to go?"

"I know."

"Alright. I'll be in touch within the hour."

I hang up with Jasper, feeling both better and worse. I'm still cold, so I take a long time in the shower just soaking up the heated water. I am so glad that Esme and Carlisle have one of those heat-on-demand water heaters, because it means I can stay in as long as I want to. I may have to pay them back for the water bill though. Eventually, I begin to turn into a prune, so I get out and dry off.

Wrapping the towel around me, I dry my hair, using the round brush again like I did last night. When I'm all dry from head to toe, I finally leave the bathroom to get my pajamas on. My phone is sitting on my bed and I realize I forgot all about Jasper calling back.

I missed him, but there's a message. I check it while still in my towel.

_Bella. This is Deputy Whitlock. Bad news, kiddo, you're all over Twitter. Deputy Brandon and I will be there in the morning. My gut instinct is we have to move you, but we'll see how it looks tomorrow. In the meantime stay home and be ready. Also call me back so I know you got this._

I delete the message and dial Jasper back. He fills me in on all the details, telling me he's not happy about the autograph –which Bree Tanner posted a picture of on her Twitter account. Since she's connected with other Twitter users in the sport, it's big news because I've been MIA and no one knows what happened to me. Her brother even recounted the whole sordid account of how I denied who I was, and that I seemed nervous. There are now rumors that I'd suffered a mental breakdown and was in Washington to check myself into an exclusive rehab clinic just outside Seattle.

When Jasper and I are done talking, I crawl under the covers of my bed without bothering to put anything on. I tuck the towel tighter around me and snuggle into the sheets and blankets, pulling them over my head. My eyes prick, threatening tears, but there are none left. I'm just exhausted. And depressed. I really, really don't want to leave.

On the upside, I realize, I won't be here to make Edward uncomfortable any longer. I'm thinking about how it's probably a blessing that I won't have to deal with the consequences of my hasty actions earlier when there's a light knock on the door.

I take a deep breath and pop my head out of the blankets. The knock sounds again, louder and more insistent.

"Come in," I say, sitting up without paying attention to what I'm wearing.

The handle turns and Edward's face appears through the opening a moment later. I stand up suddenly, and clutch my towel tightly.

"Oh, crap! Wait a second," I yelp.

His expression is startled as he averts his eyes. He reaches out to grip the doorframe and turns. "Sorry," he says quickly. "Sorry."

"No, wait. It's my fault. I was upset. I wasn't thinking," I explain, my face as red as a tomato.

"Upset? Why are you upset? Did you talk to that Jasper guy? " he asks, glancing back at me briefly before looking out into the hall again. As brief a glance as it was, I can see he's both concerned and unsettled.

I grip my towel tighter, making sure it doesn't go anywhere, and sigh. "I spoke to him, yes," I say. "He's coming for me in the morning."

"Wait, what?" Edward shouts unexpectedly. "Are you...? You're leaving?" he asks, stepping fully into the room.

I look down, still clutching my towel. "I don't know for sure yet. But most likely, yes."

"Most likely?"

"He hasn't decided yet. He wants to wait and see how it looks in the morning. Either way, he told me to be ready."

"But you can't leave now," he protests.

I sigh. "I may have to, for all our sakes. Believe me, you'll want me to go."

"No," he says, stepping closer. "Never."

I back up against the bed. "You don't know what you're saying, Edward. You have no idea how dangerous these people are, what they would do to keep from going to jail. They're very well connected and well-funded. Why do you think I'm here living under another name?"

My words cause him to inhale sharply and he lifts his eyes and his hand at the same time.

"That reminds me," he says, his voice low.

I glance at his hand and see a piece of paper in it. I look from the paper to him and back again as he opens it. I'm shocked when I find that it's my athlete's profile from the USA Shooting website. My picture, my name, my real birthdate, my hometown –it's all there. Why didn't the FBI pull that down?

"I came up here to ask you about this," he says, his eyes traveling over my face, searching for clues no doubt. "I'm sorry if I shouldn't have done it, but I had to know."

"How did you find that?" I ask.

"Does that matter?"

"A little. What did you, Google me?"

"So it's true?" he breathes, taking a step towards me.

I feel my pulse race to a fever pitch. He's looking at me as if he's a burning man, holding onto the paper in his hand like it's a life line. I'm sure I'm misreading the desperation in his eyes and putting my own feelings onto him, but it seems like he's begging me to end his suffering.

I want to. But I can't. _Can I? _

He steps forward again and it causes my breath to catch in my throat as I hold my towel closer, my knuckles likely white with tension.

"Bella, is this the real you?" he demands. "Are you really Isabella Marie Swan?"

"I..." I hesitate and instinctively lean back. I start to lose my balance as I'm backed up against the side of the bed.

Edward catches me and steadies me by placing his hands around my waist, his jaw clenching, his eyes still searching mine. We're both breathing fast,

"Please, Bella. Please, tell me it's true. Tell me that it's you." One of his hands lifts, hesitates, and then cups my face.

My voice is caught in my throat, my mouth opens and closes impotently.

"For the love of God, please..." Edward begs, his eyes wild, his touch setting me alight. I can deny him no longer.

"It's me."

His whole body sags. "It's you?" he gasps. "It's true?"

I nod and he lowers his forehead against mine. "Isabella."

I smile and lift my hand to cover his where it rests against my cheek. "You can still call me Bella. I'm never Isabella unless I'm being reprimanded, or paying taxes."

He chuckles and lifts his other hand so that he's holding my face. Our noses touch together and I think he's going to kiss me, but he hesitates.

"I need you to tell me one thing more, Bella Swan."

"What?" I ask immediately.

"Tell me you're not seventeen."

I laugh and shake my head. "I haven't been seventeen in six years, Edward."

He pulls me closer and what was left of my laughter dies in my throat.

"That's all I needed to hear."

~(~)~

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**_So, I'll see you guys next week, right? Right?_ _No? _**

**_Let me hear it... ;-)_**

**_PS- WDH readers: There should be a new chapter up tonight. I hope.  
_**


	6. Chapter 6

_Well, here we are a couple days early. On with the update! (*Warning: There's a little sampling of citrus ahead. If anyone cares.)_

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**Disclaimer:****All fictional characters, government agencies, and brands still belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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_From Chapter 5—_

_ "That's all I needed to hear."_

_~(~)~(~)~_

**Chapter 6:**

His lips are on mine before he even finishes his sentence. My mouth molds around his, giving where his take. I sigh and part my lips, causing him to moan. It's a sound I quickly answer with a whimper as his hands find their way around my waist and to the small of my back. His fingers flex against the muscles there, lighting every inch of me on fire as my body bends to his, as though they are two pieces of the same puzzle.

I wrap my arms around his neck, opening my mouth further when he teases my bottom lip with his tongue. I touch my own tongue to his, encouraging him as he tentatively explores my mouth. He tastes incredible, smells incredible. Our kiss grows more heated, almost desperate.

I slip my hands into his hair and pull myself closer to him. It's as though I can't get close enough and I wish I could just wrap myself around him altogether. He must be able to read my mind because he tightens his hold on me and lifts me off the ground in the next moment. I forget about my wardrobe situation and try to wrap my legs around him. As a consequence, when his hands slide to my bottom they're met with bare skin.

"Holy hell, Bella!"

Edward groans loudly at the discovery and drops his head to my shoulder.

"What are you doing to me?" he asks breathlessly.

"Sorry," I apologize. I really don't feel that sorry at all though and lift my head, kissing and sucking on a sensitive spot on his neck.

"We shouldn't do this," he moans softly in response.

Despite his words, his hands seem to have a mind of their own and flex against my backside, kneading the skin there. I've never even had a man hold me in that precise way before, but I really like it. I move my mouth down his neck and then along his jaw to his other ear.

"Maybe we shouldn't do this," I whisper. "But I want to. I really want to. I'm so sick of pretending."

He groans again and climbs up on my bed, lowering me until I'm resting against the pillows with him between my legs. I immediately assume he's giving in and I try not to let myself overthink this. I want him and being with him now feels right. After all these months of denying my attraction to him, he's finally touching me, holding me, kissing me. I can't deny how I feel about him anymore. I can't deny how I feel when I'm in his arms. I'm already so far gone it's not even funny. Unfortunately, I'm so far gone that I don't even notice Edward's no longer kissing me.

"Bella?" he whispers, gaining my attention.

"What is it?" I ask, surprised to look up and see his pained face almost a foot away.

"We can't. I want to. Believe me, I do," he says, clenching his eyes a little tighter before he shakes his head and opens them again. "But..."

"But..." I sigh.

"You're still technically my student. You're not a minor, thank God, but you're still enrolled at the same school I teach at."

"But I might not be tomorrow."

"But you are right now."

I sigh and think for a moment, before smiling slyly up at him. "You know? Technically, _I'm_ not enrolled at Forks High School. Technically, _Anna Bella Dwyer_ is. And I've just admitted to you that I'm not her," I grin. "Problem solved."

He grins back, but shakes his head. "Not exactly. I'm the only one who knows that."

"Not true. The FBI knows. Witness Protection knows. And Emmett assumes that I'm living under an alias. What's to say–"

"Oh, God..." he groans. "Emmett! Emmett would kill me. Then arrest me."

"Why would he do that?" I ask honestly. "I'm twenty-three. You're a few years older than I am, but there's nothing illegal about that."

He sighs and moves over so he's lying down next to me. "Assuming we could prove it. What does your driver's license say? Or your file from Social Services? He'd throw the book at me."

I roll onto my side, adjusting my towel as needed. "Okay, I'll tell him I seduced you. I did kiss you first. And I answered the door in a towel. Clearly, I was taking advantage."

"Clearly," he chuckles, then sighs. "Truly though, Bella... You've been through an ordeal tonight. You're scared. You're uncertain. I would be taking advantage."

"I don't think so," I say softly, my humor and confidence falling just a little. "You've been nothing but proper with me until I practically threw myself at you."

He smiles and touches my cheek, sweeping his fingers over my skin reverently and making me shiver. "My thoughts have not been proper. At all. I honestly believed I was losing my mind."

"Really?" I ask.

"Really," he says, brushing a lock of hair behind my ear.

I swallow back an unexpected wave of emotion. "I felt that way too," I whisper. "And I'm so sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I'm not. I think maybe it's true what they say."

"What's that?"

"That you can't help who you fall... for."

I inhale sharply and gaze at him with wide eyes. He grimaces slightly and opens his mouth to say something while playing with a strand of my hair.

"Bella... I... Um..."

"It's okay, Edward. I know what you mean. I think you're right."

"Do you?"

"I do."

He smiles softly and lifts his hand to my cheek once again, his fingers sliding into my hair this time.

"May I kiss you again?"

My smile is instant. "You don't have to ask."

He leans in, touching his lips to mine gently and then applying the most delicious pressure. I moan softly and part my mouth. He pulls back and then comes back in, more insistently, but still gentle. It's the perfect sweet, but sexy kiss. My whole body shivers from the sensation.

Edward chuckles when he moves away. "Are you cold?"

I shrug and think about suggesting we climb under the covers, but Edward hops up off the bed and walks to the dresser. "Pajamas?" he asks.

"Uh, third drawer down," I answer slowly.

_Is he really getting me clothes?_

I laugh a little, but I'm not sure whether to swoon or be offended.

"Okay, do you want pants or shorts?"

"Doesn't matter," I answer quickly.

"These okay?" he asks, pulling out some grey stretch-cotton capris.

"Yes," I say, giggling as he examines them and tries to figure out what they are.

He folds them haphazardly and then goes to my closet. He makes quick work of finding a nondescript t-shirt before he notices my packed duffle sitting on the floor. Instantly, he spins around and looks at me, his face worried.

"Did you pack already?"

I sit up, being mindful of my towel. "Yes."

"Why? I thought you said they would wait until the morning to decide."

"Well, Jasper's gut instinct was to move me. He wants to be sure it's necessary, but he told me to be prepared either way."

Edward walks to the bed and sits down, handing me my t-shirt and yoga pants. "Is it really that much of a risk that someone recognized you?"

I sigh. "Yes. It is."

Edward shakes his head and runs a hand roughly through his hair. I shiver again and he meets my eyes, smiling for me.

"Get dressed," he says. "I'll wait outside."

"No don't," I say, grabbing his arm. "Just turn around."

He looks unsure, but does as I request. I stand on the other side of the bed and quickly throw my clothes on, not caring that I don't have undergarments. I fold the towel and put it on the end of the bed before climbing back up and crawling over to Edward. I move to where he's sitting, placing my chin on his shoulder.

"All done."

He tilts his head back and smiles. "You're fast."

"I'm more accurate than I am fast," I tease. It's a reference to my shooting career which I know he'll get now. He turns around and gazes at me with what I can only describe as wonder.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask, blushing.

He smiles. "I'm just seeing you with new eyes. So much about you that I didn't understand just fell into place. It's like I can really see you now."

I blush and drop my gaze from his. "Can you?"

"Yes," he whispers, lifting my chin.

I smile. "I think I can see you too. Now that I'm not afraid to look."

"Oh, really? And what do you see?"

I smile wider. "I see home. I see..." I stop and check myself. I don't know if I'm really ready to lay it all out there just yet.

Edward isn't having that though. He levels his gaze on me. "What, Bella?"

I sigh and look down. "I see comfort. And hope..." _And love._

I keep that last part to myself. Maybe he hears it anyway because he sighs my name and takes my face between his hands.

"Bella..."

I close my eyes when our lips meet again for another sweet but sultry kiss. It takes every ounce of restraint I have in me not to crawl right into his lap. Instead, I control myself and sit back.

"Stay with me tonight?" I ask, placing my hand over his heart. He meets my eyes and I see the conflict in them. "Please? Even if it's just to sleep," I add.

He nods and leans forward, kissing me again just once.

"I honestly don't think I could rest otherwise," he sighs. "I'd just end up sneaking in to keep watch over you."

I smile, blushing slightly. "Lay down with me?"

"Okay," Edward agrees.

Edward stands, and I scoot to the center of the bed, pulling down the comforter and blankets on both sides. His hands go to the buttons on his shirt and my breath escapes me in a rush as I watch him undress; his eyes on me the whole time. He slips off his button-down, but leaves his t-shirt on, and then his fingers go to his jeans but he hesitates.

"Should I..." he blushes, and I look away. "They're boxers, but I can go get my pajamas."

"No. Stay," I beg him.

He nods and moments later, Edward's jeans are in a pile next to the bed. Soon we're lying side by side, facing one another. I smile when he threads our top hands together and rests them under his chin. I can feel a day's worth of scruff under my knuckles. After a few minutes of just watching each other in silent admiration, he pushes a piece of wayward hair behind my ear with his free hand and smiles.

"Where did you go to college?"

I smile back. "Colorado Springs. The University of Colorado has a campus there."

"And your major?"

"Distributed Studies in English and Leadership Communications."

"Really?" he asks, seemingly surprised. "Why?"

"I wanted to major in English because it was my favorite subject, but I also was interested in Communications. I could have minored in one of them, but the Distributed Studies program let me customize the coursework around what I was most interested in."

He smiles and shakes his head. "And yesterday I thought you were just a junior in high school. Granted, you were the most serious student in the entire class, but still... listen to you now."

I laugh. "You can see why I had to keep my mouth shut at school most of the time. English and history were the hardest –I kept wanting to comment on things I learned in college."

"I can only imagine." He seems thoughtful for a moment and then laughs. "I just realized why you couldn't remember anything you learned in Trigonometry at your last school," he chuckles.

I groan. "I felt like such a dunce that day. Honestly Edward, the last time I was in trig was my junior year six years ago! After that I took AP calculus during my senior year and got a five on the AP exam. So I never had to take a single math class in college because it wasn't necessary for an English major."

Edward laughs. "Smart and beautiful. Surprisingly talkative too," he jokes.

I blush. "Sorry, you got me going."

"It's okay. I love hearing your voice and getting a glimpse inside your mind. It's just as exceptional as the rest of you."

My cheeks are now so hot that I bury my face in the pillow while Edward laughs.

"Come out here," he says, pulling me closer to him and lifting my face to his. He kisses me gently, his mouth opening this time, but not pursuing. I consider taking the initiative to deepen it, but he pulls away before I decide.

My eyes are still closed, my mouth still tingling, when I hear his voice again.

"How did you get involved in competitive shooting?" he asks softly.

I open my eyes. "My dad, Charlie. He was a police officer. He took me to the range with him and put a gun in my hands when I was just a little girl. I think his hope was that the experience would scare me into never wanting to touch one again as long as I lived."

"That went well for him," Edward grins.

I laugh quietly. "Oh, I was scared all right, but then everyone started making a fuss over the fact I hit the bulls-eye my first time out. Dad wanted to see if I could do it again."

"And you did," Edward guessed.

"I did."

"And so he just started taking you to competitions?"

"No. I had to ask him the first time. There was a poster up one day at the rifle range he used to take me to. There was a father-daughter event. We won."

"How old were you?"

"Twelve. Maybe thirteen."

"And then your father coached you all the way to an Olympic gold medal?"

"He did," I say, the pride in my voice reserved for my father alone. "Of course, I had other coaches when I made the national team and moved to Colorado Springs, but he was always number one in my book."

Edward's eyes are compassionate as mine grow moist. "What happened?" he murmurs.

I take a moment to gather my thoughts.

"The story you were told is true. My parents were both murdered. But the crime isn't unsolved like you were meant to believe. I know exactly who did it."

"And that's why you were sent here? Witness protection needed to hide you?" he asks, sitting up a bit.

I sigh. Can I tell him this? Should I? I'm in love with this man, and I think he might care a lot about me too, but there's so much he doesn't know about me. I can't hope that he'd both be able to accept my past actions and the consequences they hold for my future. I don't think he would blame me for doing what I did, but part of me believes he should know everything before getting any more involved with me. He deserves better than anything I can offer him now.

My continued silence is misinterpreted.

"It's okay, Bella. I know there are probably rules about what you can talk about. I'm sorry."

"No," I say, shaking my head. "You should know what happened. You should understand the gravity of my situation before this goes any further."

"There's nothing you can tell me that will-"

"You don't know that yet. Just please... hear me out."

He sighs and lays back down so we're eye to eye. "Okay. But I'm not going anywhere."

I smile sadly. "I told you my father was a cop. And he was a really good cop. His word was his oath and was unfailingly loyal. He fell in love with my mother when he was eighteen and never even looked at another woman in their twenty-five years together. He was faithful to a fault."

"He was like that with his job as well," I say, pausing to take a deep breath. "He swore to uphold the law when he graduated from police academy and kept that promise until his dying day. Some people have said that was what killed him. But it was really just a couple of thugs in expensive suits –mobsters who thought they might be able to get my dad in their back pocket if they threw enough money at him or threatened my mother. She was his only weakness. Well," I sigh. "One of two, I suppose."

Edward rubs my arm and touches my cheek affectionately, waiting patiently while I gather my words.

"I walked in the door of my parent's house one night last November to overhear my father refusing a bribe from someone with a heavy accent. I listened from the foyer as he offered my dad a lot of money in exchange for his cooperation. When my dad refused, the guy with the accent had someone else in the room, his partner, put a gun to my mother's head. The sound of my mother crying out and the cock of the gun made me panic and I tripped. They heard me and that's when everything went bad."

"Bad how?" Edward asks, pulling me closer.

"The first man pulled his gun out and shot at me."

Edward's eyes grow slightly wild at this revelation. "He shot you?"

I immediately assuage his fears and hold my hand to his cheek.

"It was a blind shot, Edward. He missed me. But the maniac grabbed my dad and put the gun to his head, yelling at me to come out and spouting all kinds of threats. Dad tried to convince him that I was our family dog, but we didn't have a dog. He shoved my father to the ground and headed for the foyer where I was hiding. My dad tackled him, and my mom started fighting with her attacker at the same time."

I pause, closing my eyes and breathing evenly to stop the torrent of memories and emotions.

"It's okay, Bella. That's enough. I understand."

I shake my head. "No, you don't. Not yet. You need to hear the rest."

"Whenever you're ready."

I take a deep breath and nod, but continue before I can fall apart.

"My parents were killed trying to save me. I watched both of them get shot at point blank range right in front of my eyes. I didn't even think twice about what to do after that. I grabbed the gun that my dad always kept hidden in our foyer and pulled the trigger. I hit the first man with the accent, a man named Stefan Vladimir, in the chest. His companion, a cousin of his named Visili, was hit right between the eyes. I can't even remember firing that second shot. It all happened so fast."

"Oh, Bella..." Edward whispers.

I'm afraid to look at him, but can feel him holding me tightly.

"I don't remember doing it," I mumble into his neck. "I just acted on instinct, and apparently my instinct was to kill."

"Because you were defending yourself," he says, pulling back to look at me. "Those men would have murdered you too if you hadn't stopped them."

A few tears escape. "Well, I stopped them. I killed Visili, and although Vladimir survived, he's now facing a whole host of federal and state charges. Not the least of which are my parent's murders. The real kicker is, he's also the son of a well-known Romanian crime lord. The family is suspected of crimes all over Eastern Europe and the United States, but there has never been enough evidence on any of them to convict."

"Until now," Edward concludes.

I nod and smile sadly.

"And you have to testify against this Vladimir guy?"

"I don't have to, but he killed my parents. Am I supposed to ignore that because his family might retaliate?"

Edward looks at me with such compassion that I have to look away. He simply holds me closer and allows me the silence for my thoughts, until I find them too heavy to keep inside.

"You know, as many times as I've fired a gun, I never thought I would live to see the day I'd use one to take a life. And I hate the idea that I did that. It terrifies me that I'm capable of it, but at the same time, I feel so angry that _both _of them didn't die," I take a breath and blink back tears. "It's such an awful feeling, Edward. You have no idea. To literally wish someone dead? I want Vladimir to pay for what he did to my parents, but somehow life in prison seems like he'd be getting off too easy."

"I think so too," Edward murmurs.

"I'm a horrible person," I say, wiping more angry tears away.

"What you're feeling is normal after what you've been through."

"It doesn't feel normal. It feels awful, monstrous even."

Edward sighs and rolls me onto my back, hovering over me and holding my face. "Bella, it feels that way because what happened to you was monstrous. But it's not your fault. I don't think anyone would blame you for doing what you did. Or feeling how you feel. If it were me, I'd feel the same way."

"You don't think less of me?"

"No, love. Never. I'm so glad you told me."

"I probably shouldn't have," I whisper, suddenly realizing the gravity of what I've just done. "Jasper's going to have a cow."

"I would have found out eventually."

"Oh?" I ask, surprised. "You really think so?"

He smiles. "I do. Because no matter what happens next, I'm staying by your side. Here, or a thousand miles away."

My eyebrows shoot up. "What?"

"Bella, you mean too much to me for me to let you go now. I want to be with you through this."

"No. You don't know what you're saying, Edward. We're not talking about weeks or months here. I may never be entirely safe. Even if Stefan Vladimir is sent to prison for the rest of his life, I could end up being targeted by his family out of revenge."

Edward gazes at me so tenderly, so acceptingly, that it nearly breaks my heart.

"So what am I supposed to do?" he says softly. "Just worry about you forever? At least if I go with you, we can face it together."

I gape at him. "You can't just leave everything behind for me. What about your job? Your family?"

"Bella, I could care less about my job. And yes, I love my family very much, but you're the most important thing to me now. The most important thing ever."

"But you missed them so much when you were away in the Navy."

"I did, but that would pale in comparison to what it would be like for me to be away from you now."

"Why?" I ask, stunned.

"We just found each other, Bella. I'd almost given up hope of feeling for someone what I feel for you." He stops and shakes his head with a wry smile. "Imagine my horror when I thought the kind of love I'd been waiting so long for showed up in my classroom! In one of my students!"

My mouth falls open at his words. Shocked that he could possibly be feeling the same thing I'm feeling, I gape like a fish. Edward chuckles and lowers his forehead to mine.

"Don't act so surprised, sweetheart. I may have knocked you off your feet when we met, but you ripped the ground right out from under mine. I was lost the moment I looked into those big, brown eyes. It was completely terrifying at the time."

"And... and now?" I ask, my voice shaking, a thousand tiny butterflies tickling my stomach.

"And now... it's amazing. I never knew it could happen like this."

I sigh and close my eyes, pushing my fingers into his hair. _Could he really feel so strongly for me? After so little time?_

I think about the way this man affects me. About the way everything feels right, and safe, and perfect when we're close, and I realize it has to be possible for him to feel the way he does, because I feel the same way. So I tell him.

"I know what you mean," I say softly. "I thought I was hallucinating you when I hit my head that first day."

"You did?" he laughs.

I smile and look at him. "I did. I figured you must have been a dream because you were the most handsome man I'd ever seen. And when you helped me up, it felt like one of those movie scenes where everything just sort of blurs except the person you're looking at."

"Like the rest of the world doesn't exist for a few seconds," he adds.

"Yeah. Exactly."

We just stare at each other, most likely both thinking the same thing, thinking of that first time we touched.

"Isabella Swan..." He says my name softly, like he's trying it out on his tongue or pondering some great thought.

"Edward Cullen..." I answer in the same way. He pulls back to look at me full-on and I know my eyes are dancing with words unsaid, just like his.

We both laugh a little nervously, and I hide my face in his neck.

"Come here," he says, tilting my chin up and closing the distance between us.

Our mouths meet then, and it's soft and sweet at first, but grows quickly in passion and confidence. Our tongues and breaths dance together, building in both tempo and intensity. The rest of our bodies join in the rhythm and when we part, we're both gasping for air.

Edward's breath is hot in my ear. "If Whitlock says it's safe for you to stay here, I'm quitting my job tomorrow."

I laugh because I can feel the probable source of his hasty declaration against my thigh.

I shake my head. "No you're not. If I stay I'll just tell them I can't take it anymore and ask to be homeschooled."

"Or," he suggests. "You could ask them to just stop with the teenage charade."

"I wish, but that might defeat the purpose of me staying."

"So then maybe it's not a bad thing for us if it ends up not being safe for you here. We can start fresh," he says, more serious now. He touches my face softly. "I want you to know something though. I would have stayed away from you before. I would have done the right thing if I'd remained unaware of the truth. As much as I cared for you, I never would have done anything inappropriate."

"I know you wouldn't have."

"It's all different now, though, Bella. I don't think I have the strength to stay away from you anymore, and I certainly don't have the strength to let you walk away."

I close my eyes momentarily. I don't want him to see the conflict there.

"I don't want you to have to live a lie for me, Edward, or give up your life for me. The starting fresh thing? It's not like that. There's so much baggage that comes with being with me. There always will be, and we have no control over any of it."

Edward is quiet for a moment. He strokes my cheek and waits for me to open my eyes. "Do you think it would be better? Staying here and working around your alias?"

"I don't know."

"How long?"

"How long what?" I ask, confused.

"How long will you have to live as Anna Bella? Do you know if you'll get to go back to your life at some point?"

"I don't know. I don't like to think about it, but right now? I'm dealing with this indefinitely."

"So... for all intents and purposes, you could be twelve years younger than me for what? Years?"

I sigh, feeling his growing despair. "I suppose that's possible. I pray it will only be until I have to testify, but I have no way of knowing whether or not I'll be safe ever again."

"Why does it suddenly feel like we only have tonight?" he whispers, rolling onto his back.

I stay silent, not knowing how to answer him. Thinking that his words were nothing more than frustration with the hard facts of my situation. I've been there, and I can't begrudge him.

But then I think further on his words, and I wonder if it feels like we only have tonight, because perhaps we _do_ only have tonight. Perhaps tomorrow the spell will be broken and these feelings that seem so certain now will be shoved aside in the harsh light of day, in the light of reality.

I prop my head on my hand, and gaze at him. Pondering our choices.

"What if all we did have was tonight?" I finally ask him, my voice soft, but steady.

"What?" he asks, turning his head sharply in response. "Why would you...? That's not what I meant! I was just feeling overwhelmed. I meant it when I said I would go with you."

I smile and place a hand on his chest. "No, I know. I believe you, but a million things could happen after tonight and I want to know. If all we had was tonight, do you think it would it be enough for you? Would it be enough for forever?"

He turns onto his side to face me and pushes up on his elbow. "No. Not at all," he says, unflinchingly. "I don't want a one night stand with you, Bella. I want... well, I guess I want the forever part."

I smile sadly. "I don't want a one night stand either. But what if one night was all that was in the cards for us?"

He looks horrified by my words, but I know he has to see there is a valid question in them. He can see that this is the reality of my situation. Of life in general, I suppose. The world is an uncertain place; you never know which moment might be your last.

"I don't know what you're thinking right now," he says after his initial shock wears off. "But I'm not going to make love to you tonight just because you believe there's some sort of sword hanging over your head. It's not now or never."

"Maybe not," I say, running a hand through his hair. "Maybe I'm overreacting."

"You are overreacting," he breathes, closing his eyes as I stroke his scalp with my fingers.

"So then, make love to me because you want to," I say. "And because I want you to."

Edward's eyes flutter open and I can see the effect I'm having on him, the battle raging behind his eyes. There's fire and passion there, just waiting to burst forth. I take a shaky breath and muster enough confidence to chip away at the damn holding it back.

"Make love to me, Edward. Make love to me because I've never felt this way about anyone before, and I'm pretty sure you feel the same way."

He groans. "God, Bella, I do, but..." His eyes soften and his voice grows tender. "I'm not going to rush into anything because you're afraid of what will happen tomorrow, love. I won't do that to you."

I swallow, my throat thick with emotion. "I've been afraid of what will happen tomorrow every single day for the last five months. All I want to think about tonight is us. I want to forget about tomorrow. Give me tonight, Edward. Please?"

"Bella," he sighs, lowering himself until he's flush against me. "You're making it impossible for me deny you."

"Then don't," I beg.

"Are you sure?" he whispers, closing his eyes. "So much has happened so fast."

"I know it has, but I'm sure," I answer, running one hand down his back to the hem of his shirt. My confidence wavers a bit when I reach my destination and he's still looking away –looking uncertain. "I mean, unless you don't... want me... like that."

His eyes flash open and his jaw clenches. "I think we've established that I very much do want you like that." Slowly, his hand slides down over my ribs to my hip, gripping it hard. "And you're not playing fair right now, you know that?"

I smile and fist his shirt tightly in my hand before sliding my palm over the skin of his back. "I'm a competitor, Edward. I play to win."

He groans, and the sound is that of a man undone. It's a sound I've honestly never heard before. "God, how I want you. You have no idea."

"I want you, too. Now. Tonight. No more pretending."

His hand slides down my leg, gripping it behind the knee and hitching it over his hip. I whimper in response and feel his lips near my ear. "Right now, Bella? Tonight?"

"Yes," I hiss. "Please, yes."

He hums and kisses the spot behind my ear. "Tonight is yours then..." he whispers. "Tonight, and then the rest. All of it. We're in this together."

"Together," I agree, praying that we aren't doomed from the start.

~(~)~

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_**End Note: **_

_Sorry about cutting it there, ladies & gents. But you'll be glad I did it this way eventually. Say, maybe... next week? _

_See you then! :)  
_

**_PS-_**_ Super-duper "thank you"s to my super-hot beta, _**_SueBee0619_**_. I keep making last minute changes on her though, so any mistakes above are my own. Also, anothe bit thank you to _**_StellaBlueBella _**_for being a frick-awesome pre-reader & pal__! Love both you ladies!  
_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Here we go, kiddos! This chapter is another first for me**__**.**__** While not my first lemon exactly, it is the first of this sort that I've written. If you're not old enough to be reading such things, or if you prefer to skip the sexy times, PM me and I can give you an edited version. There is actually a teensy smattering of plot below. ;) Enjoy!**_

_**Big Hugs to both** SueBee0619** & **StellaBlueBella** once again for having my back!**_

**Disclaimer:****All fictional characters, government agencies, songs and brands still belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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Chapter 7:

There are no more words as Edward and I surrender to the desire we both feel. He pulls me close to him and suddenly everything else holds little meaning. We kiss and touch and explore for several long minutes, and I feel my heart swell even more for this man. He is so tender, so attentive, and so obviously determined to make this about more than sex. About more than just tonight.

As much as I've riled him up with my pleas and challenging words, his every move tells me he adores me, and I try my best to do the same for him. I twine my fingers with his and slide our joined hands up above my head, gazing adoringly into his hooded green eyes.

Edward balances on his forearms, his chest pressed into mine as he lowers his head slowly to kiss me. When our lips meet and part in synchrony, our eyes close in euphoria. Our fingers flex together in time with the kiss and the subtle motions of other parts of our bodies. Restrained movements become frantic, and the desire between us grows into a raging fire that will need to be quenched very soon.

Edward gasps my name as I hitch my leg further around his waist and, in one quick motion, push with all my might until I roll us so I'm on top of him. He looks on in surprise as I let go of his hands and grab the hem of my shirt, pulling up on it slowly.

Suddenly, he sits up and grabs my wrists. "Bella, hold on," he says, his voice rough and breathless.

I let go of my t-shirt. "What's wrong? Did you want to do that part?" I ask, confused.

He smiles somewhat timidly and releases my wrists only to tease the skin beneath my shirt with his long fingers. "Well... yeah, I guess so, but that's not why I stopped you."

I'm thoroughly puzzled. "Then... why?"

"Call me old fashioned, but..." He shifts beneath me and rolls us so I am once again beneath him. I'm just beginning to think Edward might have some really antiquated thoughts on lovemaking when, to my added confusion, he hops up off the bed and bolts for the door.

"What are you –?" I start to say, but stop when he grabs the doorknob and swings the door closed, clicking the lock in place when it's shut. He turns around and saunters back to the bed, a somewhat embarrassed smile on his face.

He climbs up on the bed and crawls over me. "I know it's just us, but this is still my parent's house. I feel better with the door closed."

"Wow, now I do feel like I'm in high school all over again," I giggle, kissing him as he settles against me.

Edward chuckles and shakes his head. "I've never done anything like this here before, if you can believe that."

"You mean in this room?"

"No, in this house."

I'm surprised and my face tells him so. He looks shy as he begins to explain. "I played classical piano and liked science and math, Bella. I wasn't exactly popular with the girls in high school."

I smile and touch his cheek. "You sound like just the sort of boy I would have been interested in. Not that a boy so much as looked twice at me until college, and even then I think it was mostly the fact that I could shoot a gun that interested them."

"I don't see how that's possible. They were probably just intimidated because you're the whole package; stunningly beautiful, intelligent, talented."

"You may need your eyes checked," I tease, feeling uncomfortable under his appraisal.

"You don't see yourself very clearly, do you?"

"This from the man who called himself a dorky math teacher just this morning."

Edward laughs with me, but when our eyes meet again he looks nervous.

"Bella? I don't mean to be presumptuous, but if you didn't date much until college, um, well... When did you, you know...?"

"Oh!" I say, understanding dawning on me while he struggles for words. I blush, but answer right away. "Yeah, uh, the summer after freshman year of college. He was a swimmer. We met in the dining hall at the National Training Center."

Edward nods, relieved at first before a funny look appears on his perfect face. "It wasn't that Michael Phillips guy was it?"

I laugh. "No, no, no... Michael Phelps was already a big time celebrity in the sports world by then. And he trains on the East Coast. This guy's name was Ben."

"What about you?" I ask, hoping to distract him from asking more questions.

"Um, well..." He sighs and rubs his face. "It was after I joined the Navy. Her name was Chelsea. She saved me from ruining my uniforms in the laundry."

"Oh," I say, my own cheeks coloring in embarrassment for some reason. "She must have been very special."

Edward shrugs. "She was, in a way. She was fun, but she liked navy guys because they weren't ever around for very long and I've always felt a little ashamed that she didn't mean more to me when we... well, you know."

I nod. "I've felt that way about Ben sometimes. I knew I didn't really love him. Not like the last-you-for-the-rest-of-your-lifetime kind of love. And I always thought I would hold out for the real thing, but in the end, I let myself be ruled by hormones. It was very cliché of me."

Edward seems thoughtful for a moment. "Me too."

"That's not what I'm doing now, though," I say when he starts to look a little worried. "The way I feel about you is... well, it's much more than that." I place my hand over his heart. "Don't be afraid. This isn't fleeting. Not for me anyway."

He smiles and takes my face between his hands. "For me either."

Leaning in to kiss me softly, he quickly begins a path along my jaw towards my ear. He sucks gently on the skin beneath it before moving down my neck and then moves lower, towards places rarely seen or touched by another person.

My mouth falls open as Edward's hands brush the flesh beneath the soft cotton of my shirt. My entire body erupts in sensation; overwhelmingly amazing, head to toe, from-sea-to-shining-sea kind of sensation.

"Are you okay?" he asks, his voice husky as I tremble against him.

"Yes," I breathe.

"May I?" He tugs on the hem of my t-shirt.

I nod and arch my back to make it easier for him.

He kisses me and slowly inches the fabric higher. When it reaches my ribs, he breaks our kiss to sit back and look down. I feel self-conscious, but his eyes are approving, maybe even a little awestruck, as he continues exposing my body.

I lift my arms above my head and the t-shirt comes off, exposing me completely to both Edward's eyes as well as the chill of the air.

"Are you cold?" he asks, having a hard time averting his eyes from the part of my anatomy most affected by the chill.

I smile and my voice comes out a sultry whisper. "If I am, it's only because you're so far away."

I reach out to pull up on his shirt and he takes my hand and kisses my palm before releasing it and removing the garment himself in one fluid motion.

"Better?" he whispers, lying back down with me, bare chest to bare chest.

"Much."

"It's not too late to change your mind. You have to promise to tell me the moment you have any doubt that this is what you want," he says, his long fingers tracing the lines of my face.

"I promise. You too," I say, my eyes searching for anymore hesitancy on his part.

He smiles. "I promise."

I lift my head and kiss him, teasing him with my tongue and bending one of my knees at the same time. His hips slide easily in between my still covered legs and he groans, his mouth going slack when he meets my heat.

"Bella..."

I turn my head to whisper in his ear. "Make me yours, Edward."

"Oh, God, yes," he hisses as one hand slides down to my backside and he grips the curve of my ass through my pants. He squeezes and then grinds against me just once before pulling back and throwing his hands into my hair, crashing his mouth to mine and kissing me deeply.

We rock together slowly, skin on skin from the waist up, our mouths never parting. I'm already climbing, rushing towards ecstasy, and have no qualms about trying to move things forward. I reach for Edward's boxers and am a little disappointed when he slows his hips and grabs my hands. My frustration evaporates when he links his fingers with mine and slides them over my head before trailing his lips down to my breasts.

I cry out when his mouth envelopes one of my taut nipples. He lets go of one of my hands to sweep his fingers over the curve of my other breast and, while the noises I'm making have become increasingly louder, this causes a sound I've never made before to escape me. He squeezes and his thumb strokes the peak in circles. I'm shocked by the intensity of the dual sensations of his mouth and hand and have to lift my head to see what this man is doing to me.

He looks up through his eyelashes at the same moment and sort of smiles without stopping. I feel a rush of warmth and arousal, and drop my head back before making that same mewling cry again.

Chuckling, Edward switches sides, drawing more new noises from me as he experiments with flicking his tongue in different ways over my hardened flesh. His hand leaves the other breast and trails back down my side and over my hip. Reaching beneath me, he grips the curve of my ass and pulls me up into him while continuing to grind his very prominent arousal against my core.

Without warning, I'm gasping desperately and calling out Edward's name. He never stops sucking and teasing my nipples with his tongue, not even when I throw my hands into his hair and lift my hips off of the bed, trying to get closer. I'm quickly reaching a point of ecstasy like none I've known before and it's shocking. I'm reeling that Edward's been able to coax this sort of response out of me without even removing all of my clothing. For a brief moment, I ponder if this is normal, but then Edward is calling my name.

"Bella, let go, baby... Let go for me."

His voice is all I need to send me over the edge. My back arches sharply the next time I feel his hard length hit me in just the right spot and my hands flail out, slapping the mattress as I cry out incoherent words of pleasure. Edward holds me to him, rocking gently while his long fingers grip me tightly in all the right places. When the strongest waves of my orgasm have ebbed, he lays me down and kisses the corner of my mouth, my nose, my eyelids, and every other part of my face and jaw until he reaches my ear.

"Good?" he asks, his voice smooth and yet rough at the same time.

I laugh breathlessly and nod my head vigorously. He chuckles and nuzzles his nose against the spot beneath my ear.

"I'm glad," he says, sounding pleased. "You are so beautiful, Bella. So sensitive."

I hum in response and kiss his shoulder, my hands running trails up and down the muscles of his back while I try to decide if I should be embarrassed or not. Fortunately, I become distracted by how obviously aroused he still is at the moment.

"Edward?" I say, turning my head to look him in the eye as a thought pops into my head.

"What is it, love?" he smiles.

"Are you having second thoughts?" I ask.

He looks puzzled and then worried. "No? Why? Are you? Did you not want..."

"No! No, nothing like that," I reassure him. I smile and bite my lip, the desperate tone of his voice making me brave. "I just wanted to be sure before I tried something."

"Tried what?" he asks, still looking nervous.

I laugh and push on his shoulders. "Tried to return the favor."

I keep pushing against his well-muscled body watching as he works out what I want. The most adorable expression crosses his face when it dawns on him. He meets my eyes with slightly flushed cheeks, but rolls onto his back.

"You don't have to do that."

I lick my lips. "I know. I want to."

"Are you sure?"

"Mm hmm," I nod, trying to keep my voice smooth. I don't want him to see that I, too, am a little nervous. He's set a pretty high standard with his performance just now.

Sitting up and straddling his thighs, I trail my hands down his shoulders and over his biceps, then back up again. I do it again, only this time, I trail just the tips of my fingers over his shoulders and down his chest. I explore his sculpted pecs and run my thumbs over his nipples, causing him to shudder beneath me. I sigh as his nipples tighten into tiny peaks and I feel mine follow suit. I want him again, or rather, I want all of him –inside me.

Mustering every ounce of confidence I can gather, I shift over him just a bit and then rise up on my knees. I lean down and place a quick kiss above his belly button as I lift my left leg over him and crawl off of the right side of the bed.

"Is everything okay?" Edward asks, his voice barely above a whisper as he watches me stand and hook my thumbs into the waistband of my yoga pants. I smile and say nothing while I lower the last of my clothing brazenly, standing in plain sight with him watching me. His mouth pops open a little and I'm glad I've been brave.

"Wow," he whispers, sitting up on his elbows. "You're stunning."

I blush furiously and duck my head to hide my nervous giggle as I climb back on the bed. Yeah, I went all fearless athlete on his ass to get him to this point, but now that I have him here, shy little Bella (who's had very few men in her life) makes a reappearance.

Edward sits up like he's going to meet me halfway, but I stop him with a palm on his chest.

"I'm not done with you quite yet," I say softly. My voice is more timid than sexy, but Edward doesn't seem to notice and settles back against the mattress with a bob of his Adam's apple.

I crawl over his legs until I'm where I want to be, and continue right where I left off, caressing his chest. I return to his nipples with my thumbs briefly, and then lower my head, keeping my eyes on him until the last moment. It's worth any amount of nervousness I feel to watch his face. His eyes are bright with anticipation and his tongue peeks out to moisten his perfectly proportioned lips right before I have to look down.

I kiss his pebbled skin, part my mouth, and flick out my tongue. I tease him a few more times like that before capturing the small bit of hard flesh between my lips and sucking it into my mouth. Edward moans appreciatively, so I continue and then add my hand on the other side. My performance earns another moan and even a hiss from Edward when I experiment with my teeth. I run my nose across his chest and switch sides, paying equal attention to both nipples before moving on.

I trail kisses down his body to his hip bones and place open mouth caresses on each of them before traveling back towards the center of his well-toned abdomen until my mouth is hovering just above the waistband of his boxers. I nudge it with my nose twice and glance up to find Edward's eyes. They're hooded with desire and wild with anticipation.

Keeping my gaze locked on his, I use all of my core muscles to stabilize my body on just my knees and lift both hands to hook my thumbs on either side of Edward's boxers. I pause a moment and wait for him to grant permission. He nods once, swallowing hard. I may have given him a little smirk of my own at the feeling of power I get from seeing this strong, intelligent, gorgeous man look at me so wantonly.

I turn my attention back to the task at hand, and pull the elastic of Edward's boxers slowly over his hips. My eyes are locked solidly on the shape of his hips and the definition of his lower abdomen. Only when I've managed to get his shorts off and toss them carelessly behind me, do I allow myself a moment to take in the whole of his body.

The sight makes my breath leave my lungs in a rush.

Every part of him is perfectly sculpted, divinely proportioned and well-maintained. He's possibly more perfect than Michelangelo's David, but more generously endowed. Which is why I stare. And probably why I hear a soft chuckle when my eyes get stuck on the most distinguishable part of his male anatomy. I blush and look away. Which is a shame really, because while I've always found the male anatomy slightly unappealing to look at, Edward's is really rather lovely. Just like the rest of him.

Edward reaches down to tilt my chin up and our eyes meet. I crawl back up his body, sliding my hands over his legs as I do, but never break eye contact. His breath heaves when my fingers get to his quads and I run my thumbs up the inner portion of his thigh. I make several small circles, kneading the strong muscles as I go.

"Bella..." he sighs as one hand stops making circles and continues its journey towards the soft skin beneath his erection.

I run my fingers over the tender organs there and am awarded with a rough groan. By the time I wrap my palm around Edward's length, he's thrown his head back and begun breathing deeply.

I smile, remembering how he'd commented on how sensitive I was. I wonder if it's just us, if it has something to do with that almost electric chemistry between us whenever we touch. From the very first time I took his hand, I was overwrought with pleasure. Maybe it was the same for him.

Stroking his length gently, I'm unable to hold back with my thoughts.

"Do you feel it too?" I ask, continuing to touch him.

"Feel what...? That...?" Edward pants, bringing his head forward to watch me stroking him.

I smile and shake my head, continuing with my movements as I answer. "Yes, this. But also... do you feel the connection? The electricity that's there when we touch? I feel it every time."

Edward grunts and nods. "Yeah, I feel it too. Every time. Every," he pauses as I move my hand up, "...single," I move down, "time," I move back up.

His head lolls back a bit when I continue and I can see he's struggling to keep his eyes on me as my ministrations grow a little more assured and pick up in tempo. Despite the increasing pace, however, I get the feeling that he needs more than I'm giving him after a few more strokes. Moisture leaks from his tip and I rub my thumb over it, swirling it around on the head of his erection. His hips buck and he begs me to do it again, so I do. After the third time around I make my decision. I've never done what I'm about to do before, but I'm a grown woman and can figure it out. I smile and scoot back just a little to get into position. Without warning him, I lick up the length of Edward's shaft before swirling my tongue around the tip where my thumb has just been.

Edward immediately lets out an almost silent curse and falls back against the bed. Feeling emboldened, I take the tip of him into my mouth and swirl my tongue around it again. He groans loudly and his erection swells, making him even harder against the soft flesh of my tongue. I'm fairly sure this is a good thing, so I continue. I swirl my tongue once more and then slide my mouth further down around his long length as far as I can comfortably go. I figure out how to cover my teeth to keep from scraping against him as I move back up. A few more experimental passes and I add suction.

"Oh my... Oh, Bella... baby," Edward pants, sitting up on his elbows.

I would smile at his words, but my lips are too busy at the moment. Still, the instinct to smile has pulled them back a bit and on my next pass, my teeth scrape lightly against Edward's flesh.

"Holy hell..." he shouts, his length growing more engorged and jerking in my mouth.

It startles me and I come off of him with a loud pop.

"Are you okay?"

His mouth is hanging open and his eyes are heavily hooded. He nods and closes his mouth, reaching down to stroke my cheek.

"More than okay. That feels incredible, Baby. Almost too incredible," he says. His voice is once again both soft and rough. Like crushed velvet.

"Do you want me to keep going?" I ask.

"Only if you want to, love."

"I do," I answer honestly and smile as I lower my head and take him back inside my mouth.

He moans when my hand grips the portion of him that doesn't fit and starts panting when I find a decent rhythm. I feel his fingers tangle in my hair and hear him groan as I pick up the pace and suction. I move up and down several more times, swirling my tongue and making him swear. His hips lift up as I slide down and I force myself to relax and try taking more of him in my mouth. Suddenly, Edward's grip on my neck and hair becomes more forceful.

"Oh God!" he cries out, sitting up. "Baby? Bella? Stop. Baby, stop!"

I release him immediately and look up to find him panting and licking his lips.

"Too good," he whispers. "I want to be inside you. Now."

I smile and nod even as he leans forward, sliding his hands under my arms. He grabs me, pulling my body up to him with an almost animalistic groan. His mouth crashes into mine as our bodies collide –falling backwards, tumbling and rolling until I'm on my back. I wrap my arms around his neck and put my hands in his hair, pulling him closer.

He deepens our kiss, parting my mouth with his tongue, no longer content to just suck on the swollen flesh of my bottom lip. Our tongues move together, caressing erotically. I've never experienced anything quite like it. It's push and pull, give and take; a dance that mimics the desires of the rest of our bodies. I eventually have to tear myself away from him just to breathe because I never want to stop kissing him. Not ever. Not if it can be like this.

While we catch our breath, he lowers his forehead to rest against mine. I'm suddenly aware that my legs are spread wide, one of them bent at the knee, the other hooked over his hip. His body is lined up exactly where it should be and I can feel his prominent erection dangerously close to my entrance. If I were to just lift my hips a fraction of an inch, he would be inside me already. And somehow, once again, I swear he knows exactly what I'm thinking because his eyes meet mine and the heated air between us crackles.

A moment later, with a tilt of my pelvis and a shift of his hips we're both gasping and crying out.

"Oh, God," he breathes, sliding in effortlessly, stretching me as he goes.

I moan loudly. "Oh, Edward..."

"Oh, God," he says again, panting.

I feel my body gripping him tightly. I feel his breath on my face. I feel him... go still?

"Bella..."

There is strain in his voice when he says my name this time and my heart lurches. I open my eyes to see his eyes still closed and a grimace on his perfect face. He's lowering my leg from around his waist.

"What's-"

"Condom," he breathes. "We need a..."

I don't even think twice about what comes out of my mouth next.

"I'm on the pill," I blurt out.

His face is startled and suddenly sober.

"For entirely female reasons," I add quickly. "I haven't been with anyone like that since Ben, although I guess maybe we should still..."

"I might have one in my wallet," he says, panting slightly. "It's going to be old though."

"How old?"

"A year? Maybe longer."

I groan at the thought of stopping now.

"But..." he says thoughtfully, looking deep into my eyes. "If you're safe... and I'm clean... I mean, I am clean. I haven't been with anyone in... well, at least a year."

His words break me out of a rapidly growing depression and I nod. He takes a labored breath, moaning when it causes him to move in me.

"I... oh, God help me. I'm not going to lie, Bella. You feel unbelievable like this."

"You too," I say, trying hard not to think too much about how good.

"What do you want me to do, love? I've always used protection before."

"Me too. We can stop if you think we should." The words cause tears to fill my eyes.

"I don't want to stop," he says quickly, kissing my forehead. "I will if you want me to, but..."

I answer immediately. "Don't stop. Please." I lift my hips. "I trust you. Completely."

Edward lets out a breath before flashing a relieved and slightly bashful smile. "You do?"

"Yes, of course."

He kisses me, his tongue teasing mine as he begins moving his hips again. He slides out slowly, deliberately, pausing when he's nearly all the way out. "Tell me again."

I'm confused for a moment and whimper. "Which part? Don't stop? Or I trust you?"

"That you trust me," he whispers, pushing back in just as slowly.

I place a trembling hand on his cheek. "I trust you."

He turns his head to kiss my palm, repeating his slow pull and push. "Again," he says.

I groan, my hips lifting to meet his as I answer. "I trust you."

"Oh, Bella... Yes."

"You like that?" I ask in between thrusts. "That I trust you?"

"Oh, yeah," he pants, moving more urgently now. "You have no idea."

"Why?" I ask in between gasps as he fills me again and again.

"Tell you later," he says roughly, picking up the pace and at the same time hitting me deeply.

I scream and arch my neck, throwing my head back as he continues moving forcefully. I begin inhaling in ragged breaths, overcome by how incredible he feels all the way inside me.

Edward shifts his weight and with one hand grabs my hip, sliding his long fingers around to my ass and lifting me up to him. He drives into me several more times like that, kneading my bare flesh as he does. Moving his hand down to my knee, he hitches my leg over his hip. He holds it there, then leans down and sucks one of my nipples into his mouth.

"Uh! Edward!"

He hums and laves his tongue over the hyper-sensitive peak, swirling and teasing. I cry out again and he places a soft kiss on the very tip.

"So good, so sweet," he mumbles.

Moving his mouth to the other side, he flicks the tip of his tongue out again. He teases me in time with the movement of his hips, which are now working faster and harder.

"Oh, God" I cry out when he hits me just right. His long shaft is sliding over theexact right spot inside me while he continues flicking my nipple with his tongue. The sweet torture continues and I'm glad to hear Edward humming and moaning along with me. He experiments with his teeth and I cry out some garbled combination of "wow, oh, god, love you, please."

When he reaches up to fondle my other breast, my body clenches around him involuntarily. I gasp loudly, well aware that I've never felt this good in my life. Well aware that sex has never once been this good. Well aware that my breasts have been holding out on me. Seriously. Who knew? I certainly didn't. Neither did Ben.

Edward lifts his head from my chest and meets my eyes, still hitting that amazing spot inside me.

"You're incredible, Bella," he pants. "So responsive."

"It's you. It's all you," I tell him breathlessly.

He laughs before kissing me. I open my mouth immediately, giving back as good as I get. He moans and I feel his arm, which has been holding my leg up over his hip, come down and rest next to my head. His chest meets mine and he adjusts his hold so he's cradling the back of my head, fingers tangled in my hair. He pushes a wayward strand out of my eyes, causing me to smile against his mouth. Pulling back, he grins at me.

"Better?"

"Mm-hmm," I hum, because I'm incapable of words. Instead I lift my hips and wrap both my legs higher around his waist, locking them together.

Edward curses at the change in depth this allows him, but I barely hear it. I'm climbing, well past the point of return. I feel him shift his weight and press up on his forearms, separating his chest from mine. His mouth finds mine one more time before he straightens his arms out completely and arches his back on his next forward thrust. The action causes his pelvis to engage the nerves bundled above where we're joined. With every pass he's stimulating my clit, making me moan shamelessly.

I lift my head slightly, looking down at where we're joined. Seeing Edward move in and out of me is unbelievably erotic and I soar even higher. My nipples harden further, my skin shivers, my lower abdomen tightens. I look back up and see bright green eyes smiling down on me, a smirk fully in place, and I feel my insides quiver at the sight of him.

A light sheen of sweat covers his brow and his hair looks like sex personified. He's truly glorious like this. Sitting up on my elbows, I kiss his neck, nipping and sucking along the way. I move my mouth over his collar bones until I reach the hollow between them. My tongue pokes out and I lick the salty skin there all the way up to his Adam's apple.

"Mmmmm..."

His moan is long and low, the sound of it vibrating in his chest as I feel the first tell-tale signs of my orgasm rock through me with a shudder. I gasp and Edward groans loudly, thrusting harder and hitting me deeper than he has before. I fall back against the bed screaming and pushing my hips up to him frantically.

"Oh, shit! Bella!"

His cry is a plea. I can both hear it and feel it. He's thicker, harder inside of me now. He moves more chaotically, his mouth open in ecstasy. Words fall from my lips, things like "yes", "please", and "now". I begin chanting the last one over and over as he bends down and takes one of my breasts in his mouth.

Flicking his tongue around my hyper-sensitive nipple, he slams into me one last time, granting my pleas and sending me headlong into oblivion.

"Edward!" I scream, grasping his forearms for support. "Oh God! Ed... Ah... I..."

My cries continue as wave after wave of sensation washes over me and I feel my body gripping his again with each subsequent rush of pleasure. I cling to him frantically as his length moves erratically in and out of me. Soon, very soon, he's pulsing hard inside me and answering my calls.

"Oh, damn! Bella! Bell... Uh...Uh..."

He grunts and thrusts until he collapses on top of me, still twitching inside, but seemingly unable to move otherwise. Our chests are heaving, our limbs are shaking, and our hearts are pounding wildly together. There is no space between us at all.

There is no secret between us either. No alias keeping us apart. It's just us. Him and me. And I smile.

I smile and sigh contentedly, because there is nothing I've wanted more than this, this feeling when I'm in his arms. Not even another Gold Medal could come close.

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_**Okay, so the trust thing? Edward will explain, but I think maybe my male readers might get it. Maybe...dunno.**_

_**Anyway, until next week! :)**_

_**~Ginnie **_

_**PS- I apologize for not responding to your reviews again this week. I have been writing madly on future chapters of Arms, so I hope you will forgive the oversight. I do read each and every one, and they mean the world to me!  
**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Hi Again! Hope you all had a nice week. This chapter is a lot like the last. Same song, different verse. ;) Again, if you are not old enough to read, or wish to skip the sexy times, just PM me for a summary. **_

_**Another big thank you to **__SueBee0619__** for betaing. Thank you as well to **__One of Eddie's Girls__** for pre-reading. **_

**Disclaimer: All fictional characters, government agencies, songs and brands still belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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-Chapter 8:-

Untold minutes after Edward and I collapse in the wake of our coupling, I finally regain the ability to speak. I take a deep breath and begin to utter the only words I can think of.

"I love-"

"I've never-" Edward starts at the same time.

We both laugh breathlessly. My cheeks flame at the same time, and I wonder if he heard what I was about to say. I decide not to ask.

His small smattering of chest hair pokes my still sensitive breasts and I shift beneath him. He lifts his head from my shoulder and pushes some of my hair out of my face for me before he begins to roll away.

"Don't," I say quickly, tightening my arms around his back.

"I'll crush you."

I shake my head. "No, I like you here."

He sighs and lies back down. "I like me here, too."

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"What were you going to say before?"

"Oh," he says, chuckling. "I was just... Wait, what were you going to say? I interrupted you."

I smile and shake my head, blushing again. "Nothing."

He lifts his head and "What is it?"

"It's just... I was just going to say that I... well, that I love you."

His answering smile is brilliant, reaching all the way to his eyes. "I love you too, Bella. So much more than I ever thought was possible in such a short time. That was basically what I was going to say before. I never knew I could feel this much, or feel this damn good."

I look away, overwhelmed.

"Don't hide from me, beautiful."

He tilts my chin up and kisses me tenderly but thoroughly, pulling away only when we both need a breath.

"It's incredible... this feeling," he whispers. "I'd do anything for you right now. I feel like a Brian Adams song."

I laugh and squeeze my arms and legs around him. "Me too."

He moans quietly and slides his arms under me. "Come here," he says, rolling over, but taking me with him this time.

He's so adept at this maneuver that I end up cuddling on his chest with him still buried partially inside me. It's a little wet down there when I think about it, but he reaches for the sheets of my bed and covers us before I can suggest I need the bathroom. His arms wrap around me and he kisses the top of my head with a sigh.

"Isabella Marie Swan," he murmurs. My name a sigh. "My beautiful, beautiful Bella."

I smile and kiss his chest as a blush rises to my cheeks. When I lay my head back down, we're quiet for a long while. I listen to the sound of Edward's heart and think back over the last few hours. Edward is right. This is incredible, though it's a little hard to process it all.

Being recognized in Port Angeles. Edward finding out my real name. Talking to Jasper. Finding out I might have to leave. Edward finding out I'm not a teenager. Edward kissing me. Edward saying he's fallen for me. Me begging him to make love to me. The mind-blowing, earth-shattering result.

My body still tingles from our encounter and I want to commit every moment to memory. Every detail. I want to be able to relive this night again and again. Hell, I want to do it again. I want to see the look in his eyes this time when he enters me. I want to lick his nipples while he moves in me and see if he likes that as much as I do. I want to hear again how his voice gets rough when I tell him something that really turns him on. Like how he sounded when I told him that I trusted him.

That memory intrigues me. I still don't think I get why those words were such a big deal to him. It seems like a no-brainer to me. Curious, I debate whether or not to ask him about it, but the thought makes me nervous. A ridiculous notion considering everything we just did together.

While I'm gathering my nerve, Edward's hands are running up and down my back. He eventually notices a small scar near the bottom of my spine and stops.

"What happened there?" he asks, touching the raised skin gently.

"I fell while climbing a chain-link fence when I was ten. The metal went right up my shorts and cut me there. It was mortifying."

His fingers trace the smooth scar tissue. "More mortifying than painful?"

"Yes," I laugh. "Half the neighborhood saw when my shorts tore open."

"But you were hurt."

"I was also wearing bright purple underwear at the time. The cut healed quickly, but one of the kids called me Barney-Butt for years."

"Tell me his name and I'll go punch him in the face for you."

I giggle. "_Her_ name was Anjali. And I got back at her at the end of sixth grade."

"Oh?"

"When we got off the bus the last day of school, she pulled my pony tail and wouldn't let go. So I used a self-defense thing my dad taught me and she ended up on her butt with her pretty little dress over her head. Never bothered me again."

Edward chuckles and squeezes his arms around me. "I would have liked to have seen that."

I smile and laugh along with him.

"Can I ask you a question?" I say, before I lose my nerve.

"Of course."

"When I told you that I trusted you... earlier. You said you'd tell me why you..." I take another breath. "Well, you seemed to like that... _a lot_."

I feel him twitch inside me. _Jeez..._

"I did like that," he says, his voice low. "Obviously." I laugh once because it is very obvious. "Do you want to move, by the way?" he asks, still rubbing his hands up and down my back.

"No. Not at all. But I would like you to explain," I answer, lifting my chin to look at him. "I mean, of course I trust you Edward. Did you think that I didn't?"

He smiles sadly. "I didn't, no."

"Why?"

Edward reaches up and cups my cheek. "It goes back to what you said that night I met your U.S. Marshal friend. About how he was the only man you could count on since your father died? After meeting him, I knew you'd been through something truly horrific, and I wanted so much to be the one to protect you and take care of you. But when I tried to tell you that, you pushed me away."

Tears prick my eyes. "I'm so sorry. I was trying to-"

"No, I know," he stops me. "I understand now, love. But I didn't at the time. At the time, I thought you didn't believe in what I was telling you, and because I believed you were just a teenager, I thought I'd crossed a line and lost any right to earn your trust. So to hear you say the words? To know that in addition to everything you entrusted me with tonight, that you were giving your body to me as well? That you were willing to make yourself as vulnerable as you could possibly be with me? It was staggering."

I can't help the emotion that boils over in me as I reach up and press my mouth to his passionately. He responds accordingly, kissing me with both enthusiasm and tenderness. I whimper when he pulls back.

"I love you, Bella. I wish I could make it all go away. I wish I could change the past for you. But if you'll have me, I'll be here for you. And I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. I swear it."

"I believe you," I whisper, trying hard not to cry.

His mouth closes over mine again and he parts his lips. I deepen the kiss, but it remains soft and tender and adoring. When my tears spill over, Edward kisses them away before returning to my mouth. Slowly, our hands begin wandering farther. Edward's long fingers leave my hair and stroke the sensitive skin on my shoulders and then the small of my back. I shiver and run one hand over his chest, earning a tremble from him as well.

Feeling that smoldering flame of desire flicker, then spark anew, I use my tongue in a teasing fashion at the threshold of Edward's mouth. I curl it as if I were trying to coax him to enter... not that he needs coaxing. Still, the effort earns a groan from him and when our tongues finally touch, I feel his body react and thicken inside me. My own body responds with a rush of heat and a racing heart, making my insides throb.

"Jesus, Bella," Edward groans, pulling away from our kiss only to start sucking on my neck. "I've never known anyone as responsive as you are. Not that I've known a lot. I swear. But God... You are. You're... so... damn... responsive." He punctuates each word with a kiss to my neck, ending with the spot beneath my ear.

I moan loudly and feel my body prove his point.

"See?" he whispers roughly.

"You too," I smile, gripping his shoulders with my hands and pushing up. "What has it been? Ten minutes? Eleven maybe?" I ask, smirking down at him.

To punctuate my point I rock forward a little, feeling him inside me.

"Oh, I don't know..." he grins, grabbing my hips. "To use your words, it's you. It's all you. And I think it's been a bit longer than ten minutes."

I laugh and run my hands down his chest, my thumbs lingering over his nipples. Playfully, I palm his well-toned pecs and make him smirk.

"I don't think that has the same affect when there's only muscle," he says, teasing.

"Speak for yourself," I tease. "Feels good to me."

I squeeze his chest again, giggling when he flexes for me. He flexes the muscles there a second time and then runs a solitary finger up my navel to my sternum before lifting both his hands to cup my breasts.

"Me too," he smirks.

"Glad you think so," I laugh.

"Why wouldn't I?" he asks, grinning. "You have phenomenal breasts, and you really seem to enjoy letting me touch them. Which is hot."

To illustrate his point, he squeezes and runs his thumb over each of my tightened peaks.

I both blush and moan all at once. "You're the only one who's ever touched them quite this much," I pant.

"Jeez, Bella," he groans, twitching inside me again and swelling some more. "You know the exact right things to say to me. I wish I was the only one who'd ever touched them. Who'd ever touched you."

"Yeah, me too..." I gasp, as his thumbs tease my nipples again.

My eyes start to flutter closed, but then I feel him shift beneath me and he sits up. The action causes him to slip out of me and I groan a little at the loss. Dropping my forehead to his shoulder, I shift uncomfortably until I hear his voice low and smooth in my ear.

"I'll help you forget," he whispers, wrapping his arms firmly around me.

"Forget what?"

"That anyone else has ever touched you."

He kisses my neck, his open mouth lingering over my sensitive skin. His fingers trail up and down my spine, teasing.

"Mmmm..." I moan softly, shivering.

"Is that a yes?" he whispers, sucking on my neck this time.

I tremble against him and press myself closer. "Yes," I breathe. "On one condition."

"Anything."

I kiss his neck. "Let me make you forget too. Please?"

His arms hold me tighter. "Done."

I don't know if he means done-deal, or done, as in he's already forgotten. Either way, I don't care. I lift my head and meet his eyes, feeling his knees bend behind me. Leaning me back, he kisses my mouth with the lightest pressure and then does the same all the way down my neck, sternum, and navel before kissing his way back up. I moan when he sucks on the hollow between my collar bones.

"I want you again," he says roughly. "I want you so badly, Bella."

I moan a second time and slide my hand down his chest towards his navel and lower. "Me too. I mean I want you. Not me."

He starts to laugh, but then moans when I take his once more fully hard erection in my hand. "Bella..." he whimpers.

The sound of his unsteady voice sends warmth rushing to my core. Continuing to move my hand over him, I kiss his neck and shoulders. When I suck on the skin there, he ghosts his hands all the down my bent legs and back up again until they land on squarely on my ass. Lifting me up, he sucks one of my breasts into his mouth, assaulting it with his tongue. I groan, desire building low in my navel. He squeezes my curves and lifts me higher, moving to take my other breast in his mouth.

"Oh, God," I gasp.

"Mmm..." he moans.

I'm nearly shaking with desire for him, but he doesn't slow down, he doesn't stop caressing my nipples with his talented tongue.

"Please, Edward. Please... Make love to me."

"God, yes..." he hisses, popping off of my breast looking down between us to help me position him. The sight of his hand on his own erection is shockingly arousing and I nearly forget to watch his face this time.

"Wait," I say suddenly.

His eyes shoot up, confused.

"I want to see your face," I explain. "Please, look at me,"

He nods, his green eyes understanding and locked on mine now. I kiss him softly and shift on my knees. He rubs his arousal back and forth over my center a few times until I can't take it anymore and I lower myself onto him slowly.

It's a struggle to keep my gaze steady, but I watch Edward intently as he enters me. I memorize the shape of his partly open mouth, the flush of his skin, and the look of concentration mixed with complete and utter pleasure in his eyes. I emblazon the sound of his moan onto my heart, my own cry echoing it as he fills me.

If possible, he stretches me more fully this time. Perhaps it's because he's brought me to orgasm twice already, but the sensation is overpowering –like it exists on the precipice between pleasure and pain. I tremble against him.

"Are you okay?" Edward breathes, resting his forehead against mine.

I nod, closing my eyes and struggling just to form words. "It's... intense..."

"For me too," he whispers, nuzzling his nose against mine. His arms slide into my hair and he tips my head back. "Stay still. Kiss me."

I open my eyes briefly while he closes the distance between us, smiling until his lips meet mine. He parts my mouth with his tongue, and I let him, following his lead willingly and melting into him as we kiss. It's not terribly long before I feel relaxed enough to try moving again. I shift my hips just a little at first, rocking them back and forth ever so slightly.

"Mmmm," Edward hums. "You feel incredible."

I smile and repeat my test. He feels incredible to me too; the way he fills me is still very overwhelming, but not as much as it first was. After several more test passes, I move along his length fully.

"Oh, yes, Bella..."

I heave a breath and Edward grips my hips to help guide me while I hold on to his shoulders. Soon, I'm moving over him fervently, lowering and lifting myself with increasing strength and confidence.

Edward's fingers travel up from my hips and he leans me back a little. His mouth returns to my breasts. The combined stimulation is once again mind-blowing and I feel myself getting close already.

My movements become a little disorganized as the pleasure between us grows more intense. I hear Edward moaning more often, so I slow down a little and roll my hips round and round instead of up and down. I get a note of approval as he grabs my ass with both hands.

"God, Bella. Don't stop. Don't stop doing that."

I smile and keep going. I drop my head to his shoulder and run my tongue along on the skin there as I circle my hips leisurely. I change directions when I need to and circle a little faster.

"Oh, yeah. Oh, baby. So good," Edward cries. His fingers flex against my ass.

I try lifting up a little on my next swivel.

"Uhnnn..." he groans, his head falling back.

"Ohmygod," I gasp at the same time.

I repeat my roll, swivel, lift maneuver.

"Oh, shit... Uh..." I hear as I do it again.

"Yes," Edward whispers.

"Uh..." I hear again. "Uh..." And again.

"Yes..." Edward sighs, holding me closely as I roll, swivel, and lift faster now.

"Uh... Uh..."

"Yes, Bella. I love hearing you."

It's only then I that I realize I'm the one who's been moaning. Not only that, but my cries are getting louder now and my movements more erratic. Part of me is horrified, and part of me is beyond caring.

"Let go, baby. Feel me," Edward says, encouraging the part that doesn't care about the embarrassing sounds I'm making. He begins lifting his hips up to meet my sloppy swivels, while his hands go back to my hips and move me over him expertly.

"Feel me, baby," he repeats. "Only me."

"Only you," I agree.

It would only ever be him. He'd ruined me for anyone else. I'd only ever want him after this.

"Please," I beg. "Please, Edward."

"What, love? What do you need?" he asks, pumping into me faster, though it's still not enough.

"I need... I need..." I shake my head. I don't know what I need.

My legs are shaking. I climbing, building, throbbing. But it's not enough.

"More," I groan. "I need more."

It's all I can come up with. I guess it's enough.

Edward lifts his hands from my hips and puts his arms around my middle. Smoothly he lies back, pulling me down with him. My hands, which were wrapped around his shoulders, shoot out to the mattress on either side of his head. As soon as he's lying flat, he bends his knees behind me and begins thrusting up while I hover over him. The new position creates perfect friction against the bundle of nerves above my entrance.

"Oh!" I gasp.

Edward hums and lifts his head, licking the skin over my sternum. It's then I realize my breasts are bouncing in his face. Startled, I meet his eyes. He grins wickedly and lifts his head to take one of them in his mouth at the same time he starts fondling the other with one of his long-fingered hands. He circles and teases the taut bud while still pumping in and out of me with his impossibly hard erection. I whimper and then my mouth drops open as I explode two quick thrusts later.

"I'm... Oh, I'm..."

"Come, Bella. Come for me. I've got you."

His plea is all it takes and my body goes rigid while my insides tighten with wave after wave of euphoria. I moan shamelessly, my chin dropping to my chest and my eyelids growing heavy as my climax continues. I'm panting, sweating and shaking. I feel Edward rub my unsteady arms and then pull me down to his chest. He nuzzles his nose in my hair and pushes it out of my face to kiss my eyes, my cheeks, my nose, my mouth. I go limp against him, but he's still moving inside me languidly.

He eventually sits up a little and rolls us over until I'm lying on my back beneath him, still connected to him. It's one of those graceful moves he makes that leaves me wondering what sort of fitness routine he uses. It must entail yoga or something like it. While I ponder the errant thought of him in downward-facing-dog pose, my tongue sweeps out and he grants me entrance to his mouth. I kiss him with all the sleepy passion I feel.

Slowly, my brain comes back to its senses and my kiss becomes one of gratitude as I try to tell Edward with my lips and tongue just how incredible that was. How incredible he is. Does he have any idea?

I don't know, but I do know he's moaning into my mouth softly and it causes an aftershock of pleasure to course through me. My internal walls quiver again and it's only then that I notice Edward's still rocking into me softly, unhurriedly, and surprisingly still hard.

When I pull back and look at him, his eyes are closed, his long lashes framing them. He looks so peaceful and I'm not at all surprised to see him smile when he lifts his lids and catches me watching him.

"Hi," he says softly.

"Hi," I say, blushing.

He glides his knuckles gently over my cheek. "Lovely." My cheeks turn redder and he chuckles. "I really like that," he says, his tone growing husky.

I close my eyes and moan at that crushed velvet voice I love. The one I want to hear every day from now on. I try to commit it to memory just in case, but get distracted by the feeling of Edward sliding deeper inside me and making me moan again.

"You are so beautiful when you blush," he whispers. "So beautiful when you make those sounds. You're perfection."

I sigh and he's pulling out again, slowly. "I love you, Isabella. So much."

"I love you, too," I whisper.

He leans down to kiss me again and the look in his eyes shakes me to my core.

He isn't exaggerating with his words. Not one bit. He looks at me the way my father used to look at my mother. The way I've seen his father look at Esme.

And I _know_.

Edward Cullen will look at me this way for as long as live.

Something shifts between us then. Maybe Edward sees something similar in my expression? Maybe his name falls from my lips and he hears it? The promise and the plea.

I'm his forever. And I need him to be mine.

As our bodies continue to embrace each other and our passion reignites, I feel my heart and soul irrevocably join with Edward's –never to be my own again. I know it's the same for him too. He leaves me no doubt.

"Be mine," he begs. "Please, be mine."

"I already am," I answer breathlessly as we reach for one another at the same moment, fingers intertwining and coming to rest over my heart.

Fire lights his eyes as he rises up over me and begins moving one final time. Very soon, he's climbing, soaring towards ecstasy and completion. I should be shocked that I'm right there with him once more, but I'm not. I'm nearly overwrought with emotion and sensation when Edward begins to come undone. He's soon begging me the way I begged him, needing more and not knowing what.

I pull my knee up to my chest and place my foot between our bodies, pointing my toes. Edward watches as I slide it up his chest. He groans my name and sits back on his knees a little, pulling my leg over his shoulder with a quick kiss to my insole. I quickly hitch the other leg around his hip, he pauses to grip it, asking me if I'm okay like this.

With my reassurance, he begins thrusting in earnest, his movements becoming slightly unhinged as he holds my legs to him. I stretch my arms out above my head and feel for the headboard. Finding it, I brace my arms to push back against him, giving us both some much needed leverage.

I tell him how much I love being with him while he grunts, pants and squeezes his eyes shut tight. He seems to be holding back, so I lift my hips at a different angle and encourage him the way he did for me.

"Let go, baby... You won't hurt me."

I like using his term of endearment, the one he's only used in the heat of the moment. I think Edward likes it too, but despite the loud groan I get from him, his eyes remain closed and his movements restrained.

"Edward? Look at me," I demand. When he does, it's a straight shot of lust to my core. His gaze is searing.

"Bella..." he gasps.

"Let go. Please? For me? Let go."

I'm well and truly begging now, because the truth of the matter is that I'm not going to be able to keep this up much longer. But I also want to see him surrender completely. I want to know what he's truly capable of doing with that body of his.

I get my wish when Edward nods and lowers himself over me, stretching my leg out straight and shifting it slightly to the side. He places one hand on the headboard behind me and whispers a rough warning before slamming into me forcefully. He does it again and again, moving relentlessly.

The result is almost instantaneous and completely overpowering. My hands grip the headboard tighter and my mouth forms a perfect "O" while I cry out his name.

"Edward! Oh, god! Oh, my gah... I'm... again!"

"Fffuuhh... Oh... Jeez... Bel... ah..."

His words are entirely incoherent as his legs give out and he starts to fall forward. He catches himself on shaky arms but continues thrusting in and out, his length almost painfully drawing out my orgasm. Finally, his movements stutter and slow, and his erection pulses hard inside me.

"Oh God," I whisper, nearly passing out, the room literally darkening around me.

Edward moans an answer, still riding out his own release. I clench around him until my body is spent completely. I try to hold onto him, but my arms fall limply behind my head.

"Never... this... good..." he whispers eventually. The words are barely audible beneath the sounds of our equally labored breathing.

I try to slow and steady my breaths. It's hard to do with my legs pressed between my chest and his. Fortunately, Edward doesn't seem to need all his faculties to pay attention to my comfort.

Without even opening his eyes, he lifts off of me just slightly and lowers my legs one at a time. He gently rubs away the strain in my over-tired muscles with his talented hands. When our hearts have slowed, he pushes himself up on his forearms and leans over my chest, paying a moment of tribute to his favorite part of my body before kissing his way up to my mouth. I smile widely into his kiss, unable to contain the sheer joy and blissful calm I feel at the moment.

"I love you," I whisper against his lips.

"Love you too, baby," he says, sighing. "You have no idea. Thank you."

"Thank you?"

"For you. For that. For everything."

I squeeze my arms and legs around him. "You too."

Edward rolls us onto our sides until we're face to face and he runs his fingers through my hair. "I hope you know you're stuck with me now."

I sigh and place my hand over his heart even as my eyes close in contentment.

"I think I'll manage somehow," I say airily.

I hear quiet laughter and feel something soft and warm against my lips.

"Edward?" I ask several moments later, not bothering to open my eyes.

"Mmm?"

"Just so you know... that was unbelievably amazing."

He laughs again softly. "Yes, it was."

"I hope it will always be like that for us."

"You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that." His arms wrap around my waist and he pulls me close.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if you're hoping it will always be like this for us, then you must be hoping that there will be an always. I like that a lot better than the way you were talking earlier tonight."

"Hmm... you have a point."

"Edward?" I say after another moment.

"Yes?"

"I need another shower now. I'm all sticky and sweaty."

"Me too, love," he chuckles.

"Edward?"

"Yeess?" he answers, clearly amused now.

"You wanna take a shower with me?" I ask.

He laughs and I can feel his breath on my cheek. "Are you sleeping already?"

I giggle and shake my head. My nose bumps his and I open my eyes. "No, not yet. Why?"

"I thought maybe you were saying hilarious things in your sleep again."

I make a face. "I thought I didn't say much last night."

"You didn't say much. But you said a few things."

"Did you watch me sleep for very long?"

"For a while," he admits, looking sheepish.

"Because of the sleep-talking?"

"No, because you asked me to."

I go still. "I did what?"

"You said my name, then said 'Stay.' And then you moaned. It was very convincing."

"Oh my God," I say, burying my hot face in his neck.

He laughs quietly. "Were you dreaming of me?"

I shake my head.

"It sure sounded like you were to me," he whispers in my ear.

"Oh my God! What else did I say?" I squeal, sitting up on my elbow.

Edward giggles, honestly giggles , and shakes his head. "I was just teasing you, but do you dream of me often?"

I throw myself face down on the mattress and cover my head with a pillow. "Yes," I mumble.

"Was that a 'yes'?" Edward tugs on the pillow.

I nod and the pillow disappears. It's quiet for a moment and then Edward's moving my hair aside, exposing my neck and the side of my face.

"Don't be embarrassed. I dream of you, too. All the time. And _I_ thought _you_ were a student. So, if either of us has anything to be ashamed of, it's me."

"You dream of me?"

"Yes," he says, kissing my neck. I turn my head.

"What do you dream?"

His cheeks flush and his ears turn pink.

"Oh."

"No, nothing like that," he says quickly. "Not exactly, anyway. It was mostly of your hair and eyes. Or of seeing your real smile and hearing your real laugh. The first time I heard you truly laugh was that night at the bar. You looked so happy. I wanted to kill that Jasper guy."

"Were you jealous?"

"Insanely so."

I smile.

We're quiet for a few moments and then I turn to face Edward once again.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"A little after midnight," he answers.

"Really? What time did we get home tonight?"

"Are you always this inquisitive after sex?"

I blush and hide my face again. "No, but then, I've never had mind-blowing sex with a gorgeous man I'm in love with before."

"Mind-blowing, huh?"

"Maybe. It might have been earth-shattering too, but I could be wrong."

"No, I think you have it right," he chuckles.

"Mmm," I agree.

"Bella?" he asks playfully, turning the tables on me.

"Yes?"

"Why did you want to know what time we got home tonight?"

"Oh, I just wondered how long we'd been up here."

Edward wrinkles his brow in concentration. "I think we got home before ten. So a couple of hours?"

This makes my eyebrows go up. "Wow... go us."

Edward laughs loudly. "Go us!"

"Uh, yeah... We rock."

"Well, we rocked something. That's for sure."

I roll my eyes, but go with it. "You know what really rocks?"

"What?"

"The night is still young."

Edward's quiet a minute.

"Edward?" I ask, growing a little worried.

Then, suddenly, he's up off the bed and sweeping me into his arms.

"Come on, beautiful. Let's go waste some water."

* * *

_**He he he... poor Carlisle & Esme. Can you imagine what their water bill will be like?**_

_**On another note, the EPOV is getting closer. :) We have two more chapters with Bella first, but if you'd like an exclusive tease of Edward, please review. It's my back to school gift to you wonderful readers!**_

_**Hugs, Ginnie  
**_

_**(PS- For those of you waiting for a **__What Drives Her__** update. I apologize, but this last week before the kids head back to school has been C-R-A-Z-Y = crazy! If this hadn't been written weeks ago it would be going up either, but I will try to finish the chapter tonight.)**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Here we go... You may want to grab the tissues for this one. I made myself cry. **_

_**Huge thanks to **__SueBee0619__** for betaing this and keeping it quiet for weeks, and weeks. :-) **_

**Disclaimer:**_**All fictional characters, government agencies, songs and brands still belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

* * *

Chapter 9:

When my eyes flutter open to the early light of another muted-grey Forks morning, the first thing I notice is that the windows are on the wrong side of the bed and my head is where my feet should be. I'm also warm. Very warm.

Despite the heat, I can feel the chill of the air on my feet and backside, and realize that my sheets and blankets are missing. I'm a little sleepy and a little confused, but it's not long lasting. All I have to do to figure out what's going on is to take a deep breath and stretch a little.

"Mmm..."

The sound rings low in my ear and I smile. Even if the scent of him wasn't all around me –on my pillows, in the air, on my skin- it would be impossible to miss the fact that Edward himself is quite literally wrapped around me. One of his strong arms is draped over my waist, the other is lying under my head. His chest is pressed up against my back and our legs are tangled hopelessly together. Well, maybe 'hopeless' is a little extreme, but I definitely wonder how we ended up like this. As I stretch, my achy muscles remind me that some recent and rather rigorous activity is to blame.

With that thought, flashes of last night flit through my brain and butterflies tickle my insides. I lift my chin to look over my shoulder at Edward and he pulls me tighter against his chest. His lips meet my temple and I can feel the goofy grin plastered on his face. There's quite possibly a matching expression on my face as well.

Edward lays his head down and I imagine what he must look like behind me. Lying on his side, eyes closed, hair wild, and lips pulled up in a crooked smile. I snuggle back against him and bite my lip to stop myself from squealing like an overexcited teenage girl. I don't do a very good job of stifling the sound completely though, and soon feel Edward chuckling behind me.

"Morning," he croons low in my ear.

"Morning," I giggle.

"I think I heard your phone a minute ago."

"You did?" I sigh. "I should probably check that."

"Mm-hmm. Did you sleep well?"

"I think so. It's a little bit of a blank right now," I tease.

"No dreams?"

"No, the dream happened before I fell asleep this time."

"For me too," he sighs, squeezing me affectionately.

I run my toes up and down Edward's calf and hold tighter to the arm he currently has draped over me. I link my fingers with his, bringing them to my lips and kissing his knuckles. When I lower our arms, I settle our linked hands against my chest.

"Mm..."

I smile and remove my hand from the equation, letting him hold one of his new best friends.

"Mmmm..." he moans appreciatively.

I giggle and try to get closer to him by scooting back.

"Bella..." Edward groans. "Your phone?"

"I hear nothing."

"Obviously. Aren't you exhausted?"

"A little. Aren't you?" I tease, wiggling back against him again.

"Completely," he says unconvincingly.

"Apparently parts of you disagree."

"Yes, well, apparently parts of me have decided to pretend that they're seventeen like someone else they know. The rest of me is almost thirty."

I laugh and encourage the part of him that wants to pretend.

"You're going to be the death of me, you know that?" he growls in my ear.

_I hope not_, I think.

"We should get up soon," I say.

"What time did they say they were going to be here?" Edward asks.

"I don't know. I need to check my phone. What time is it?"

He lets out a small chuckle. "I don't know. I can't see your alarm clock. It's still on the floor."

I smile, glad for the distraction. "Oops."

"The lamp too."

I laugh quietly. "At least the bulb didn't break. Did it?"

Edward pushes up on his elbow and leans over me to see. "Um, no. At least, I don't see any glass."

"That's good."

"I can't even remember how that happened exactly."

I lift my head, looking around. "I really don't know either," I giggle.

"Amazing how unobservant we can be when otherwise occupied, isn't it?"

"Mmm," I agree. "If you like though, I'm all up for trying to reenact it." I push my hips backwards a little for emphasis, and am rewarded with a groan from Edward.

"You're evil, you know that? 100% pure temptation."

I laugh. "Sorry. I guess we do need to get up and get dressed."

"And I still need to pack my stuff up," he adds.

"You're really serious about going with me?" I ask, turning a little to look at him.

"Of course, I am," he says, looking taken aback. "Are you kidding?"

I blush. "It could have been the heat of the moment. Things sometimes look different in the light of day."

His face softens and he sighs, "Bella, wild horses couldn't drag me away from you. Not now. Especially not in the light of day. I feel shockingly clear headed right now."

I smile and lift my chin higher. He takes the hint and leans in, kissing me tenderly. When he pulls away, I'm losing my battle with the haywire emotions running through me. Tears fill my eyes unbidden.

"Oh, love... What's wrong?"

I shake my head, laughing even as I fight off a sob. "Nothing. I'm just... overwhelmed, and happy, and... I don't even know."

Edward turns me around until we're facing each other. "Come here..."

I eagerly climb into his open arms, melting into the feeling of home they bring. Wrapping myself around him, I hide my face in his neck while he rubs my back and holds me tight against him. I breathe him in –his scent, his warmth, his strength. Suddenly, just having him hold me doesn't seem like it's enough. I want to be completely consumed by him.

"Please?" I whisper, lifting my chin to kiss his neck.

"Anything, sweetheart. What do you want?"

I kiss his neck again, moving higher, sucking lightly. "You," I murmur. "Please?"

"Wait, what...? Now?" he asks, pulling back to see my face.

"Yes, now. I need to feel closer to you."

He looks surprised, but not at all unwilling. "You're not too... um, too sore, are you?"

I shake my head and roll backwards, gripping his neck and shoulders to bring him with me. "No, not too sore."

"We don't really have a lot of time, love. I don't..."

I lean up and kiss beneath his jaw again before sucking his earlobe into my mouth and biting down gently.

"Then make it quick."

"Bella..." he gasps, his fingers sliding over my curves. "The things you say to me."

I smile as my knees part for him and he settles between them. Wrapping my legs around his waist, I watch his eyes darken with the same need and desire I'm feeling. Then, with mutual sighs and whispers of affection, we join together flawlessly, just like the first time.

~(~)~

When Edward and I finally manage to roll out of bed, it's late and we know that we have to get cleaned-up quickly and separately. I need another shower to tame the haystack that is my hair, and Edward needs one because he somehow managed to work up a quite a sweat already this morning. I tell him I don't mind his masculine scent at all, but he just pats me on the bottom and sends me towards my shower, while he heads down the hall to his.

My smile feels permanently etched on my face while I stand under the warm water for the second time in less than eight hours. Of course, this time I'm in here solo, but the memories of being in here with Edward are just too good not to indulge in. I sigh at the feeling of warmth that overcomes me when I think of how long we stood under the water, talking, kissing, and re-learning everything there was to know about each other.

It's almost surreal how everything came together. How we came together. I never thought I'd feel this way, but I'm happier than I've been since before my parents were taken from me, perhaps happier than I've been ever. Can falling in love with an incredible man and having the most phenomenal sex of your life top the high of winning an Olympic gold medal?

I barely contain a happy squeal. Apparently, they can.

When I'm done cleaning up, I wrap myself in a towel and go to get dressed. I stop short in the doorway to my room and gawk for a minute at the disaster scene before me. My sheets are twisted up, my comforter is on the floor, and the pillows are all over the place. Edward picked up the lamp and alarm clock on his way out, but missed where we apparently knocked over a stack of books that had been on the nightstand before we sent them tumbling to the ground. The scene is comical until I realize that it's entirely too obvious what went on in here last night.

Suddenly, the reality of my life here comes back to me. The little Edward bubble I've been in bursts, and I remember everything else that's going on.

I remember that unless I leave here, or the truth is explained, no one can find out about what went on here last night. No one can know about Edward and me being together. Edward's parents and brother would have heart attacks, or at the very least, lose all respect for him. They wouldn't even understand it if they thought we had a romantic interest in each other, not unless they knew I wasn't a teenager first – an idea that, while appealing, may not be possible and is beside the point if I have to leave today.

The thought sends my formerly giddy mood into a nosedive. Fortunately for me, there's not much time to wallow in my anxieties.

I begin picking up my room with haste. I strip the sheets off of my bed and leave them by the door to take to the laundry as soon I go downstairs. I pick my books up off the floor and straighten the lampshade that Edward left cocked to one side. I find the paper Edward brought in here with him last night, the one with my information on it, so I tear it into tiny pieces before flushing them down the toilet.

It's only when I emerge from the bathroom the second time that I realize my phone hasn't gone off again since I first woke up this morning. I look at the clock and the late hour and find it odd, so I begin looking around for the device. It takes me a moment to find it behind one of the bedside tables.

I want to laugh, but it falls short when I see that the stupid thing is dead.

"Crap, crap, crap!"

I rush to put the damn phone on the charger and press the button repeatedly to power it up. A little battery icon appears on the screen reading, "0%" and I groan. From experience, I know it will need a few minutes before I can turn it on.

I decide to get dressed while I wait; thinking that it's highly likely Jasper and Alice will show up before I can even get my underwear on.

There's a soft knock at my bedroom door and Edward's voice reaches my ears just as I pull a clean bra out of my dresser. "Baby? Can I come in?"

"Yeah, come in," I answer, smiling despite all my worries. I have to take a breath to beat down the army of butterflies that consumed me at the sound of him calling me _baby_.

He chuckles a moment after the door squeaks.

"Well, this scene is familiar," he says, taking in my attire, or lack thereof.

I blush and hold on to the towel wrapped around me. "Sorry, I still have to get dressed."

"You don't say," he teases.

I reach back into the top drawer of my dresser and laugh. "Yeah, just don't call me _baby_ again and we'll be okay."

"Oh really?" he says, humor evident in his voice.

"Yeah, well..." I begin, glancing over at him as I try to discreetly remove my 'unmentionables'. "I really like it when you call me that."

"I'll be sure to keep note of that."

"You do that," I giggle.

Edward smiles and I can't help but look at him as he stands leaning against the doorframe. Other than his hair being damp, he's ready to walk out the door. He even has his bag packed and sitting near his feet.

"Ready to go?" I ask, pointing to it.

"Yes. I was motivated to make it quick," he says, winking at me. I blush deeply and turn towards my closet.

"Truthfully though," Edward continues from behind me. "Since I was just staying over for the weekend, all I had to do was throw everything I brought with me back in the bag. Pretty convenient."

"Lucky you," I call from inside the closet.

I hear him come closer. "My thoughts exactly."

Without dropping my towel, I pull on my underwear. Knowing that he's watching, I grab a pair of jeans and put those on too, before retreating farther inside my closet to put my bra on.

I start talking to distract myself from the feel of Edward's eyes on me.

"So, you left that athlete profile you got from USA Shooting on the floor in here... It had my whole life history and picture on it, so I um... I got rid of it."

"I sort of wanted to keep that," he says in a low voice.

"Well, you get to keep me instead," I answer, continuing to dress. After pulling on a ribbed tank top and my favorite dark green button-down shirt, I turn around and step out of my closet only to run right into Edward's chest.

"Oof..."

"Sorry," he chuckles.

"No, you're not," I giggle, meeting his amused, but very intense gaze.

He smirks and lowers his head. "Your right, I'm not. Not at all."

I want to make a snarky comment about stalker-like behavior, but bite my lip to avoid whimpering at his proximity. His hands slide to my hips and he pulls me even closer.

"Can I ask you a question?" he murmurs.

"Of course," I whisper.

He grins further. "Do I really get to keep you... _baby_?"

His low, smooth voice practically makes me swoon right there, which was obviously his point. I barely manage to answer him with a stuttered "yes."

"Good," he breathes. "Then maybe I can forgive you for destroying the one shred of evidence I had that could prove I didn't just sleep with one of my students last night."

I let out the whimper I've been holding in as his lips meet mine. The whimper turns into a full out moan, and I melt into him. I can't help it. His words have brought back another flurry of images from last night. I'm completely lost in the sensation of Edward's lips. Of his hands resting just under my shirt. And his... phone?

The buzzing sensation suddenly coming from his pocket is enough to cause both of us to pull back with a groan, but the annoying ringtone is the real mood killer.

_Bad boys, bad boys,  
Watcha' gonna do,  
Watcha' gonna do when they come for you..._

"Emmett," Edward explains, stepping back with an embarrassed smile. I nod in understanding and take a moment to catch my breath while he answers.

"Good morning, Emmett. Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

There's a pause and then a change in Edward's voice.

"Uh, yes... Of course I'm here with her," he says.

I glance up and watch Edward's face twist from surprise to confusion.

"What are you talking about? Slow down," he says after a moment.

As he listens his face grows more and more anxious, finally becoming one of outright fear.

"Shit! "Now?" he roars. "How the hell did that happen?" He meets my eyes panicked.

"What's wrong?" I whimper.

"Get your shoes," he whispers.

"What's _wrong?_" I ask again.

He shakes his head at me.

"Yes, I understand," he says to Emmett, eyes never leaving mine.

"Shoes, Bella," he whispers.

I blink a few times and then do as he says. My heart is racing and I'm trying not to hyperventilate, but I manage to throw some socks on and lace up a pair of Converse. Edward sighs behind me and I look over my shoulder to see him run his hand through his hair roughly and then start yelling into the phone.

"Christ, Emmett! Why the hell are you just calling me now?"

I don't know what he's going on about, but his face says it all. If I didn't know before, I know now. Something's wrong. Something's horribly, horribly wrong.

I run to my phone and try powering it up again.

Edward moves behind me as he continues to talk to Emmett. "Look, I'm not waiting for you. I'm getting her out of here now. We'll meet you somewhere."

"Edward..."I whimper.

Six missed calls, five texts. I don't need to check them all, the last one simply says, _GO!_

"What is it?"

I show him the message, and as soon as he sees it he grabs my hand and starts to pull me to the window, keeping my body behind him. I want to scream and pull back, protect him too, but he's stronger than I am.

He speaks into the phone while he looks outside. "We're clear right now, but I'm not waiting around. Yeah. Yeah, I know. We'll call you. Just hurry."

He hangs up and pulls me across the room. I thank God he doesn't make me ask for details, he just explains as we go. "Something happened to your Deputy Whitlock and his partner. She called Emmett. We have to get you out of here."

My heart drops into my stomach. "What happened? Are they...?"

"They got run off the road not long ago, just shortly after they left the Port Angeles airport. Apparently, one of their own turned on them. Emmett says that the woman, um-"

"Deputy Brandon? Alice?"

"Yeah, that she managed to crawl out of the wreckage and find her phone. She's been trying to call you for the last twenty minutes. Which means that whoever ran them into the ravine could be here any minute now. We need to go."

He pulls on my hand and it takes me a moment to make my brain work. We're almost out into the hall before I pull back.

"Wait, my bag."

"Leave the bag, Bella. I have to get you out of here, now!"

"Edward, I need the bag," I say, shaking him off and running back to get it.

"Bella!"

"Just trust me."

As soon as I've got the bag and I'm next to Edward again, he takes it along with my hand and we rush for the stairs. We just reach the main level of the house when the sound of gravel crunching in the driveway stops us dead in our tracks.

"Shit," Edward whispers, pulling me back against him and retreating away from the front door.

"Who is that?" I whisper back, my pulse sounding loudly in my ears.

"I don't know, but it's not Emmett. He just left an accident scene several miles south of Forks. That's why he didn't call sooner. He only now heard from dispatch that the U.S. Marshals were trying to get a hold of him. What's her name again? Alice? She told him to get you to somewhere safe and talk to no one but her."

"Oh my God... Then who's here now?"

"I have no clue, but we need to move. Just be quiet, baby."

I nod and Edward peaks around the corner towards the front door where there are sidelight windows on either side.

"There's a black SUV out there," he whispers.

I wait. He looks again.

"I see one man. Black suit, white shirt, longish blond hair pulled back. He sure looks like a fed."

"Let me see."

"Not a chance." He moves out of sight of the door and shakes his head. "I'd bet my left kidney that's the guy who ran the others off the road."

"Edward, let me look."

"No," he says, clutching my hand tighter and pulling me close. He positions me in front of him and whispers in my ear after glancing around the corner one last time. "Come on, baby. Kitchen! Now! Go!"

Edward places his hand on my lower back and we run for the kitchen. When we get there, he pulls me behind the island, both of us crouching down so we can't be seen from the front door. Unfortunately, there are large glass doors that open up from the kitchen out onto the back patio and it's not really a good place to hide.

"What are we doing?" I ask, louder than I meant to.

"Shhh... Just head for the laundry room and we'll make a run for the garage from there."

It's a good plan. The laundry room has a door that opens up to a breezeway between the house and garage. It's the door the family uses to go in and out of the house most of the time. There are hooks for all our coats and jackets and a bench with storage beneath it for rain boots and the like. The control pad for the house's security system is also in there, which may come in handy today.

I'm closest to our destination, so when Edward deems it's safe, I lead this time, crawling on my hands and knees with him behind me. When we're clear of the windows, we stand and sprint the rest of the way down the hall towards the laundry room. It's not far, but I feel like I've run marathon by the time we get there. Edward closes the door carefully and turns the lock. I shoot him a questioning glance and he shrugs.

"Might slow him down a few seconds if it comes to that."

We stand staring at each other for a moment, our breathing the only noise in the room. He breaks away first, moving to the exterior door and raising his hand towards the blinds covering the glass panes. Until now, I'd always thought it was a shame Esme covered the lovely French door with blinds.

"Okay, look... We need a plan," I whisper, while Edward peeks out. "This is ridiculous. We don't even know who that is or what he's capable of."

"It doesn't matter," Edward says, shaking his head and turning back around. "Emmett said trust no one, and Jasper told you to get out, right?"

"Yeah. So, what? We just run for it?"

"Yes."

"He might be armed, Ed–"

A muffled knocking sound elsewhere in the house causes my voice to die in my throat. The doorbell rings a moment later. Edward and I both go silent and turn our heads to listen. I reach for his hand and he grabs it tightly, but other than that one small gesture, we don't move an inch.

"Hello?" a muted voice reaches us. "Hello, I'm looking for a Mr. or Mrs. Cullen. Anybody home?"

I narrow my eyes and keep listening. It's quiet for a long time, but then there's a rattling sound and more knocking.

"I think he tried the handle."

"Edward..." I whimper as it goes quiet again.

He squeezes my hand. "Easy..."

I take a deep breath, but find myself shaking my head furiously backing away from him.

"No," I say suddenly, pulling my hand from his. "I'm not doing this again. I refuse. I'm not going sit here and hide until shit goes bad and I lose you. I'm not going through that again, okay?"

Edward moves in front of me and takes my face between his palms. "Listen to me," he says, his eyes fierce. "We're going to be fine. Everything's going to be fine. I'm getting you out of here."

I fight back tears and panic. He repeats his promise. "We're going to be fine."

I will myself to believe him. Eventually, I nod and inhale slowly, forcing the rest of my panic away. I keep breathing deeply and try to find that place I used to find when I was shooting competitively; the place that kept me from feeling nervous and allowed me to think only about what I needed to do to make my shot.

Edward copies my breathing and then lowers his forehead to mine. "Better?"

"Yeah," I say with another nod. I feel my heart slowing and the logical part of my brain taking over.

"Good. Because I think we should go now." He releases my face and slips his hand into mine.

We move together towards the door and Edward peeks through the blinds again. I keep breathing and try to imagine our path from here to the garage. I close my eyes and try to gauge the distance from my memory. I've spent enough time on a shooting range in my life to know 10 meters at a glance, and that's about how far we'll have to go. It's not far, but, unfortunately, the space we need to cross is plainly visible from the front of the house.

Edward turns around and lifts my chin up, prompting my eyes open. From his expression, I can tell he was just thinking the same things I was.

"We'll be okay."

This time it was me doing the comforting. I'm in the zone now, focused on our goal. He nods, seemingly calmed by my demeanor, and then speaks softly.

"I want you to go in front of me. My first instinct was that I should go first, but then if we're spotted and something happens, you'll be stuck near the house with no means of escape. I'm going to go out first, but then you'll run ahead of me when I tell you to."

I nod in understanding and he reaches into his pocket and hands me his keys.

"This is the key to the garage," he says, holding it up.

I take it from him. "Aren't we taking your car? It's in the driveway already."

"And that asshole parked right behind it."

I nod. "Got it. Which car are we taking?"

He grimaces slightly. "The Volvo."

"Am I driving?"

"Not if I can help it. I hate to admit that my brother and I used to pretend we were stunt drivers when we were teenagers, but we did. I'd feel better–"

I put my hand over his lips to stop him. "I get it. It's fine. We're wasting time now."

He nods and kisses my fingers before turning back around and reaching for the door knob.

"The alarm," I whisper.

He looks outside one last time. "We're going to let it go off. In fact," he reaches to the control panel and hits the police button until the alarm begins beeping quickly. I know we now have thirty seconds until the system goes into full alarm.

"A distraction?"

"I hope so..." he says, squeezing my hand. "Come on."

I feel a wave of anxiety and a quiver of fear, but try to force the feelings away as I hear the lock click. Edward turns the knob, and with the fast beeping of the alarm is ringing shrilly in our ears, there's no going back now.

Releasing my hand, Edward darts out the door and looks from right to left. I stare ahead at the garage with the key still clutched tightly between my fingers. It seems a bad dream for a moment and then I hear Edward's voice and am reminded that it's real.

"Go, baby! Run!"

Not even questioning whether or not I trust him, my feet fly forward and feel surprisingly steady beneath me as I start to run. Almost as soon as I've cleared the door and made a break for the garage, I hear the wail of the security system going into full-out alarm mode. The sound causes me to miss a step, but I manage to stay upright and a second later I hear Edward following behind me.

Somehow, I reach the garage without incident, but my hands are shaking while I try to get the key in the damn door. It takes me a few tries and by the time I turn the knob, Edward is right behind me. He pushes the door open and starts to take the keys from the door when...

"Don't move! FBI!"

My breath hitches and I freeze in place. Edward's hand is frozen over mine and I feel him go rigid.

"Hands up. Both of you," the cold voice repeats, and for the first time in my life, I hesitate to comply with an officer of the law.

All of Alice's messages confirmed Emmett's story that someone she and Jasper worked with had caused their accident. I have no idea why one of their own would turn on them, but like Edward, I'd bet almost anything that this guy is that guy.

"I said, 'Hands up!' Now!" he shouts again.

"Who are you? And what do you want with us?" Edward shouts back. I feel one of his arms slip around my waist very slowly, pulling me closer to him.

"I'm a federal agent and I need to bring Miss Swan in for questioning. Now, please, both hands where I can see them."

I raise my arms slowly, but feel Edward hesitate behind me. "He called you Miss Swan..."

I can almost hear the wheels turning inside his head.

"Please," I whisper. "Please don't do anything stupid."

Edward presses his lips to the back of my head. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"Don't... Edward, please... don't."

"I'm sorry, baby."

"No!" I shout, but it's too late. Edward shoves me into the garage and slams the door shut behind me. The gun goes off a split-second later.

Once.

Twice.

And I scream.

"Edward!_!_!_!_!"

* * *

__**_  
Sorry... just don't turn the gun on me. More on Sunday. _**

**_Say it with me now, Sunday. OK?  
_**

_**Thanks for reading!**_

_**-Ginnie**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Let's get back to it: Grab the tissues, kiddos, and hold on. Thanks and other stuff at the end.**_

_***One more thing... do you remember that warning at the beginning of the story about some scenes being a bit graphic for some readers? That still applies here.**_

_****EDIT (7 hours post-upload) I screwed up, dear readers. In my excitement & haste to get this up quickly, I loaded the wrong version of the chapter. It was just a small difference. But... you may notice it come next chapter. It's fixed now. (*Hangs head* Sorry.)  
**_

* * *

_**From Chapter 9—  
**_

_ "No!" I shout, but it's too late. Edward shoves me into the garage and slams the door shut behind me. The gun goes off a split-second later. _

_ Once. _

_ Twice. _

_ And I scream. _

_"Edward!"_

Chapter 10:

My palms sting. My knees throb. The flesh of my throat is raw. It doesn't compare to the agonizing terror radiating inside my heart. Each beat is painful, thumping brokenly inside my heaving chest.

_No. No, no, no, no, no..._

I hear a muffled yell, another shot and a groan. My head snaps up. Eyes snap to the door.

He's out there. He's still out there. Edward is outside with that madman.

_My God, what am I still doing on the ground?_

I scramble up and turn, tripping over something tangled in my feet. I glance down.

My duffle bag.

Kicking it aside, I sprint for the door. Edward's voice is a shout on the other side. I can't make the words out, but at least I know he's still alive.

My vision clouds red with the thought of that man hurting him. My hands shake as I reach for the door Edward just pushed me through. He'll be angry with me, there's no doubt about that, but did he honestly think I could just leave him?

What was I supposed to do? Get the car and run over the gunman before swinging the passenger's side door open and yelling for Edward to get in?

He was the wannabe stunt driver. I was just good with a gun.

Suddenly, my head cocks to the side and my feet begin moving backwards without any effort. I can hear scuffling, yelling, and the distinct sound of fists meeting flesh coming from outside, but...

_Breathe, Bella. _

In and out.

Open the zipper, reach inside. Find the bottom of the bag, and stay calm.

My eyes close in relief.

_Thank you, Jasper Whitlock. _

Cool metal meets my fingers. My hand wraps around the polymer grip of a small pistol. Fortunately, the magazine is already loaded.

I don't make it two hurried steps before I click off the safety. Ripping the door open I search wildly for Edward.

I find him not twenty feet from me, purple-faced and kicking. The man in the suit has his bloodied hands around Edward's neck, his own pistol nowhere in sight.

I don't stop to think. I raise my weapon and fire.

Once.

Twice.

The dirt and dust fly up just feet from the man's head. He turns instinctively at the sound of my shots, but then looks back at where I took aim just as quickly.

Edward takes advantage and lifts his leg sharply into the guy's groin. He groans painfully, but doesn't let go.

"Take your hands off of him!" I shout.

I fire again. This time, just inches from his leg. My hand trembles a bit and my stomach lurches at how close it was to Edward's leg as well. I won't do that again, but that doesn't mean I have no recourse.

"I said, get your hands off of him. Let him go. Now!" I yell, closing the distance between us.

The man laughs. "Or what? You're not going to–"

"Does the name Visili Vladimir mean anything to you?"

The man's face straightens.

"You're here for me, so I assume you know who I am. If I aim for your head, I can promise you, I won't miss."

His breathing is the only discernable movement for a long moment.

I fire.

The man bellows and throws himself off of Edward.

I'm about ninety percent certain all he should have heard was the whiz of the bullet as it flew by his ear, but I don't wait to find out.

Meanwhile, Edward rolls over and grabs the man's head and slams it into the hard ground below. The thud of his skull and a groan proceed near silence.

Scrambling up towards me, Edward reaches out a hand and I run to him, clutching it tightly. I want to throw myself into his arms, but there's no way I'm taking my eyes, or my aim, off of the suit behind him.

"Come on," he rasps, panting and pulling me with him towards the garage.

"Are you okay?" I breathe.

He stops and spins around. "Yeah. Where's his gun? I kicked it somewhere."

I look for it, but the man moans behind us and starts to get up.

"Fuck it. Let's go," he says grabbing the pistol out of my hand. "I have to get you out of here."

"Edward..."

"Let's go, Bella!"

He pulls at my arm almost harshly, tucking my gun in his jeans. I want to smack him for being a macho idiot, but instead I dig around in my pocket for the keys to the car. We enter the garage just as I get a hold of them.

"Here," I say, pressing the keys into his chest. "You take these. I'll take that."

I reach into his jeans and pull out the pistol.

He blinks at me.

"We're going! Remember?" I snap, moving around him and reaching for the Volvo's passenger side door.

Edward says something indecipherable and makes a mad dash for the driver's side. He barely gets there before we're both ducking down at the sound of more gunfire. Two shots impact the open door behind me.

"Holy crap!" I gasp.

"Get in!" Edward yells.

I clamber in and barely manage to shut my door before he's in and starting the engine. The gunfire starts up again and Edward pushes my head down.

"Stay down and hold on!"

I don't have time to react. The car lurches backwards, smashing through the garage door behind us and completely pulverizing it.

"Are you insane!" I scream.

I'm half shocked, half completely amazed that he just did that.

He glances at me wryly and then looks up again. "Just hold on."

The next thing I know we're spinning around while gunshots ring out one after the other. I hear the glass shatter in the window behind me and the rogue FBI agent shouting obscenities behind us. Edward slams the brake on and switches gears at the same time.

I feel my body lurch as we skid through the gravel driveway. The pistol flies out of my hands and I reach desperately instead for my seatbelt. My head hits the side panel of the door before I can get a hold of it.

"Shit! Sorry! Hang on, baby!"

More gunfire rings out. I don't even know which we're facing now, but I flail around, clicking on my seatbelt and then looking up. I'm surprised to see we're facing away from the house.

The car is pointed down the driveway, but more shocking than that, our assailant is standing right in front of us. He smiles menacingly and lifts his arms, hands closed over his missing gun.

"Get down, Bella!"

I duck at the same time Edward hits the gas.

"Oh God," I cry as the shots ring out.

I feel the car lose traction as at least one of the front tires burst. The engine revs wildly and we speed forward again before a third and fourth shot sounds and the windshield shatters.

"Dammit!" Edward roars, while I cover my head with my arms.

"Are you okay?" I scream.

"Stay down!"

Another shot rings out, and a few small pieces of glass fall all around me as we swerve wildly and, as best as I can tell, hit the FBI agent. I can't be sure as I've got my face pressed to my knees, but in the eerie silence that follows, the lack of gunfire seems to speak for itself.

We continue speeding away, turning, dipping, and occasionally skidding in the gravel. Edward swears under his breath and slows down. I take a deep breath and sit up carefully.

"Are you okay?" I ask immediately.

"Yeah, you?" Edward replies, his hand weaving into my hair and gently rubbing the spot where my head hit the door.

I nod. "I'm fine."

He smiles, sort of, and takes his hand back. "Good. That's all that matters."

"What happened back there? Did you hit him?"

"Yeah. I don't think he'll be following us, but, just in case..." He points to the windshield with one finger. "Can you help me out? I can't see too good."

I finally look forward and notice the shattered piece of safety glass still in place. I glance around quickly and thank God when I see that I left a travel mug in the cup holder the other day. Grabbing the long stainless steel cup by the handle, I unclip my seatbelt.

"Hold on, Bella. We're almost at the end the drive. Let me just... um, let me stop for a second."

I nod, gazing towards the end of the driveway, glad that we made it this far. As soon as we come to a halt, I lean forward and break out some of the glass on his side. It doesn't take much effort; in fact, as soon as I've pushed the cup through once, I drop it and wrap my hands in the end of my sleeves to use them instead. The glass breaks apart as I peel it away, but I'm quickly able to remove at least three-quarters of the windshield.

"Will that work?" I ask, turning back to Edward.

It's then that I see his slightly pale and perspiring face.

"Edward?" I ask, concerned.

"Oh, yeah... that's um, that's much better. Sit down, okay?"

"Edward, what's wrong?"

It's then that I see it. As he lifts his left arm in order to grip the steering wheel again, it's seeping down his shirt. It's also on his right hand.

_Blood. _

"Oh, God... No."

He shakes his head. "Shh... It's not that bad. I'll be fine."

Before I have time to argue, we're turning onto the highway and I'm fighting off a wave of nausea. The most horrific sense of déjà vu hits me and almost knocks the breath out of me.

"You're hurt. You're bleeding." _This is my fault._

"No, baby, it's not your fault. It's just a graze. I'm fine."

If it weren't for the way his voice shook slightly, I might have believed him.

"We need to get you to a hospital," I say.

"No, Bella. I hit that guy with the car, but it's not like we stopped to check his pulse. We need to get you somewhere safe. Emmett's supposed to call and then we'll know what to do. Then I can get this checked out."

I shake my head and think. True, we need to get to safety, but I also need this man at my side to be okay when we get there. Emmett is supposedly on the way, but I don't know if he can really do anything to help us anyway. He said Alice told him to call her.

"I need to call, Alice. Where's my bag?"

"You're bag? Bella, we barely escaped back there. I didn't stop to grab our luggage. Unless you threw it in."

"Oh, no..."

I try not to panic, but I can feel it creeping up on me. Not only did my bag get left behind, but I left my old phone in my room, and as I look over at Edward's concerned face, it's grown even more pale than it was a few minutes ago.

I chance a glance at his shirt and the blood stain is much bigger now, bright red and reaching almost to his waist.

"Edward?" I say shakily. "I think we need to pull over."

"No way." He shakes his head, but when he looks back at the road, he blinks hard like it takes an effort to focus his eyes.

I decide to change tactics and put my hand over his on the steering wheel. "Edward? Baby? You're losing a lot of blood. You need to let me drive."

He glances down at me for a long moment. It's a good thing I've got my hand on his because the car starts to drift and I have to straighten the wheel to keep us on course.

"Ease off the gas, okay?"

It takes him a moment, but after a cursory scan of the road, he slowly nods. The car begins to decelerate and he places my hand on the wheel, squeezing it before removing his own and moving it to his injured shoulder.

I lean over and put both hands on the wheel, guiding us onto the shoulder when we finally slow enough.

"Brake, Edward."

He nods and complies. The Volvo finally comes to a stop.

We sit frozen for a moment before I pull up on the E-brake and let go of the wheel. I get out of the car and walk around to the driver's side, opening the door and bracing myself for what I have to do next.

As soon as I get a good look at Edward, I gasp.

"Oh, baby... Why did you tell me it was nothing? This isn't nothing," I cry, tears filling my eyes at the sight of the blood pooled in his seat.

It should make me want to throw up, but instead all I can concentrate on is the fact that he got shot because of me. That he took a bullet _for_ me.

_This cannot be happening again. Please, please don't let this be happening again. _

I kneel down next to him and try to decide what I should do first. A quick glance at his wound makes me gag. The blood is oozing freely from it. After taking a few deep breaths while facing the other way, I take off my button-down shirt and fold it a few times before placing it over his shoulder.

He hisses when I apply pressure, but then replaces my hand with his and does the same. I use the sleeves to tie the shirt as tightly as I can around him. I'm knotting it a second time when he begins to slump to the right.

"Edward. Stay with me, okay?" I take his head in my hands and turn him towards me. His eyelids are drooping and he's breathing in short, fast breaths. "Can you move? I need to get you in the other seat, baby."

He nods, but doesn't budge. His eyes get heavier and I smack his cheek lightly out of desperation. "Come on, Edward. Don't go to sleep! I need you to move! Help me out here, okay?"

He nods and lifts his right leg this time. I see what he's trying to do and run around to the other side of the car. I hop in and grab his leg, pulling it over the center console and onto the passenger's side. He shifts his body weight and repeats the process with his other leg. This one takes some more effort and I'm panting by the time I get it up over the console.

"Sorry, love... I feel kinda tired all of a sudden."

"I know. I'm sorry, too."

My voice cracks and I struggle not to let my fear and regret overwhelm me as I get back out of the car and run around again to the driver's side. Just as I lean in to push Edward over to the other side, I hear the faint wail- of a siren behind me.

Not knowing whether this is a good thing or a bad thing, I move faster, encouraging Edward to help me get him into the other seat. He manages to do a pretty good job all on his own, but needs a little help balancing. We both almost crash back into the driver's seat when my knee slips in the blood on it.

Once he's settled, I ignore the sick feeling that I get at the thought of sitting where he's just been bleeding profusely and get in the car anyway.

"Ready?" I ask him.

He nods, so I throw the car into drive and hit the gas. The vehicle protests against being driven this way, but I push on, laughing somewhat bitterly.

"Do you think Carlisle will be pissed that he has to buy new rims after this?"

Edward chuckles weakly. "And here I was worried about the garage door."

I smile and laugh unsteadily, blinking away a few stray tears. We continue on in silence, but the silence is eventually broken by the approaching sound of a police siren. I glance in the rear-view trying to get a good look.

"Please be a good guy..."

"What are you mumbling over there?"

I sigh. "There's some kind of law enforcement behind us, but I can't tell who or what agency it is. They're coming up fast."

Edward sits up a bit, groaning with the effort, and tries to turn around.

"Stop. You'll hurt yourself." To my surprise, he doesn't argue.

That, more than anything, scares me and I press the gas down until it hits the floorboard. I glance backwards again and bite my lip.

"We can't outrun him in this thing. If that's what you're thinking," Edward says, his voice strained.

"I don't know what I'm thinking, I just know I need to get you to the hospital and then call a contact of Jasper's for help."

"Who?" he asks, trying again to sit up again.

"Sit still," I hiss. "It's the guy who owns that bar. You know the one in Sequim? Garrett's?"

Edward takes a deep, rasping breath and looks towards the shattered window. "Can he get you somewhere safe?"

"He's supposedly one of the best, and he's who I was supposed to go to if I ever got into trouble."

The siren is louder now, and the police cruiser is less than 50 meters behind us.

"Edward," I say to get his attention. "I think it's a Forks PD car behind us. Do you know Emmett's number?"

"What?" he asks confused.

"All cruisers have a number on them. Do you know Emmett's?"

"Um... three something."

"They're all three something."

Edward shifts in his seat.

"Don't!" I shout at him. "Just don't, okay? It's 346, does that sound right to you?"

"I don't know."

"Well... we're about to find out."

The police cruiser speeds up and pulled into the left lane, overtaking us easily. I hold my breath the whole time until the passenger's side window rolls down and I see a familiar mop of short brown hair.

"It's Emmett," I sigh in relief. Edward hums in answer.

"Goddamn! Are you guys okay?" Emmett shouts.

"That's debatable!" I shout back. "Edward's–"

"What?" he yells.

I shake my head and gesture in front of me, easing off the accelerator. Emmett nods and pulls in front of us. It's only seconds until we're both stopped and he's out of his cruiser and yanking open the driver's side door.

"Holy shit!" he gasps, pulling me into a bear hug. "Are you hurt?"

"Not me," I answer against his chest. He releases me and starts talking a mile a minute.

"I got the house and saw that asshole laid out in the driveway, between the gun next to him, the busted up garage door, and the tracks you two left out of there, I didn't know what to think."

I suck in a breath. "Is he... dead? Where is he?"

"Not dead, but hopefully in custody. The rest of Forks PD was already on their way to the house, so I zip-tied him around his wrists and ankles, and threw him in the back of his own goddamn SUV. Son of a..."

"Em," I stop him. "He shot Edward. We need to get your brother to a hospital and I need to get in touch with Alice."

Emmett stops and blinks at me.

"Emmett?"

He looks me over from head to toe, his eyes widening at the sight of Edward's blood on me. Then his gaze falls on the half missing windshield.

"Goddamn son of a..." He trails off and storms over to the passenger's side.

Tears fill my eyes when he kneels down next to the door and knocks lightly on the window Edward is slumped up against. Emmett's face is crest-fallen.

"Hey, big brother. I gotta open the door." I hear a muffled acknowledgement and Emmett laughs, albeit weakly. "Try not to fall out before I catch you, okay?"

I take a shuddering breath and go to see if I can help. Emmett has the situation well in hand, but I ask anyway.

"You can open the back door of the cruiser for me, Bella girl. Hit the locks on the driver's side first."

I do as he asks, and open the door for him. Emmett has Edward in a fireman carry when I turn around, so I climb in the back seat first and slid-e over.

"Sit him down and I'll get his head."

"Yeah, okay," Emmett grunts. He lowers Edward and I help get his head in the car without injuring him further. I scoot back and Emmett helps heave Edward inside, while I pull under his good arm.

I'm panting by the time we've got him in.

"I've got a blanket and a first aid kit in the back," Emmett says.

I nod and shift around until I'm seated on the floor near Edward's head. I run my hand through his hair and brush his cheek with my thumb.

"Hey."

He smiles weakly, his pallid brow shining slightly with sweat. "Hey, baby."

"Shh..." I say, looking out at Emmett just as he slams the trunk shut. Edward doesn't seem to get my deeper meaning though and reaches up to touch my cheek.

"So, beautiful," he whispers.

I blush and lower his hand to his stomach, but leave mine on top of it.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. This is all my fault."

He shakes his head and tries to hold my hand. Emmett coughs behind us.

"Here's the stuff," he says, his voice thick. I twist around to see him. He's watching us with red-rimmed eyes.

I smile apologetically and take the first aid kit and blanket from him. I lay the former over Edward and prop his knees up so that Emmett can shut the door.

As soon as we're moving again, we're speeding towards Olympic Medical Center at nearly 100 mph. I do what I can with the first-aid kit, but it's not much, especially since I don't know what the hell I'm doing. Perhaps I should, but in all my years of shooting, I've never actually seen a gunshot wound.

Well... until my parents.

My throat constricts at the memory and tears flood my eyes. I find myself repeating a mantra in my head. Or perhaps it's a prayer even though I've never been religious before.

_Please don't take him, please don't take him, please don't take him..._

Despite my best efforts to help Edward, blood is still seeping through the gauze I packed against the wound in his shoulder. I think hard and look around the car, then ask Emmett for one of the zip-ties hanging from his rear-view mirror, remembering something I'd seen in a movie once.

"Good idea," he praises. "You might need two or three hooked together though."

He steers the car with his knee and somehow manages to connect two of the plastic ties together before handing them back to me through the wide-open partition.

_Please don't take him, please don't take him, please don't take him..._

I slip the ties around Edward's bloodied shoulder and try to get them above the wound without fainting or vomiting. My mantra is the only thing keeping me conscious.

_Please don't take him, please don't take him, please don't take him..._

Edward moans loudly when I pull down on the plastic tie. He screams while the make-shift tourniquet tightens, pressing the gauze further into his injury.

_Please don't take him, please don't take him, please don't take him..._

"Bell... 'm fine," Edward pants.

I guess I wasn't just chanting in my head anymore.

Smiling at Edward, I try to make light of the situation. "Liar. You are not."

"What'd he say?" Emmett asks from the front.

I sniffle and wipe my bloodied hands on my jeans before answering. "He says he's fine."

Emmett snorts. "Dude, you look like shit."

"Thanks," Edward whispers. "Love you...too... Em."

His eyes never leave mine while he speaks. I smile for him and squeeze his hand before relaying the message to his brother.

"He says thanks, he loves you too."

Emmett chuckles, but it's definitely not a happy sound.

"Just don't die, okay? Mom and Dad would kill me if I let you die. And don't even get me started on Tori. She'd have my balls on a platter. Then she'd kill me."

Edward laughs, but it quickly turns into a violent coughing fit. He cries out as the shaking of his chest jars his injured shoulder. For whole minutes afterwards, he can't seem to catch his breath.

_Please don't take him, please don't take him, please don't take him..._

"Did you radio this in, Emmett?" I say suddenly. "Does the hospital know we're coming?"

"Yeah, they know. Believe me, though, this is faster than waiting for an ambulance."

"Yeah, except I can't do anything else to stop the bleeding and the paramedics could."

"He's strong, Bella. He'll fight. Right, big brother?" he raises his voice. "You're going to stay with us. You're going to fight."

Edward nods and offers a weak smile. I grip his good hand and, forgetting about Emmett for a moment, kiss Edward's palm before linking our fingers together. We stare at each other almost like we're back in our little bubble, at least until I remember how it burst.

"Emmett, I need to talk to Alice. Has she called you?"

"The fire department was working on getting them out of the ravine last I heard. To be honest, I think they're both pretty busted up, Bella girl. If they could have walked away from that accident, they'd be with you by now."

My heart skips a beat in fear for them.

"Can you tell me why they were on their way to Forks to begin with?" Emmett asks in the silence.

"Um... I was recognized in Port Angeles last night."

"By who?"

"Some guy I don't know. But he knew me, and it ended up all over the internet, I guess. Jasper and Alice were on their way in case I needed to be relocated."

"But they had a mole on their team..."

"Is that what happened?" I ask, unsure of what went wrong.

"That's what Alice said." He makes a disgruntled scoffing sound. "Damn, Bella girl, that Alice Brandon is one smart little cookie, and really good at her job too. I can't believe this."

"Yeah, I know. Can I use your phone? Or the radio?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea..."

"I understand, Emmett, but... well, we need help. Please?"

He sighs loudly and I see him shifting around out of the corner of my eye. "I think the phone is a safer course. Okay?"

I hesitantly let go of Edward's hand and reach up to grab the device from Emmett. I thank him and look it over. Seeing that it's an iPhone, I hit the browser button.

"Can I use your internet?" I ask Emmett belatedly. "I need a phone number."

"Sure. What number?"

"Garrett's bar. Don't ask."

"Why the hell do you need the number there?"

"I said not to ask."

The car slows down a bit, and I feel us make the northward turn on the 101 as we approach Port Angeles. Emmett's grumbling about a logging truck and blaring his horn and sirens when I finally find the number I'm looking for.

I click the phone number and thanks to the geniuses at Apple, I can connect the call with a single touch. I exhale a shaky breath when it starts ringing.

"You... okay?" Edward whispers, getting my attention by touching my cheek at the same time.

I smile down at him. "I should be asking you that."

He smiles weakly, his lips devoid of color. I want to kiss the red back into them, but know I can't with his brother in the front seat. Instead I trace them surreptitiously with my finger until someone finally picks up the phone at Garrett's Bar.

"Garrett's. Kate speaking."

"Um, hi. Is Garrett in?"

"I'm afraid not, sweetie. Can I help you? This is his wife." In another circumstance I would find her slightly possessive tone endearing. Today, I just need to talk to her man whether she likes it or not.

"No, I'm sorry. I need to speak with Garrett. It's urgent."

"Who is this?"

"Someone who needs his help. Please?"

She's quiet for a moment before she speaks again. "He's at home, sleeping one off. I can call him and give him a message. I don't need specifics. Just a name."

I sigh, and try to think what to say. Will he even know me? I doubt it.

"Can you tell him that one of Jasper's... _friends_ is in trouble? I'm on my way to Olympic Medical Center and it's..." I hesitate. I don't know if this woman is even who she says she is. Fortunately, she doesn't make me wonder for long.

"Where's Jasper?"

"There's been an accident."

She sucks in a breath. "I'll get Garrett up and we'll meet you at the hospital. How far are you from there now?"

"I don't know..." I lean up and eye the speedometer along with our current location. "Maybe fifteen, twenty minutes?"

Emmett looks back over his shoulder at Edward upon hearing my words and speeds up.

"Hopefully, fifteen," I amend.

"We'll be waiting for you," Kate says. "Can Garrett reach you on this number?"

"Yes."

"See you soon. Stay safe, Jasper's friend."

"Thanks," I say, choking on a sob of relief as the call disconnects.

I cannot fight the tears anymore as the strain of everything continues to pull at me. I lower my head to Edward's and kiss his forehead before resting my own against his uninjured shoulder and crying.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I'm sorry for all of this. I never should have agreed to come here."

"Shh... I'm... glad... you came."

"Please, be okay," I whispered. "Please don't leave me."

"Never. I love... you."

"I love you, too," I breathe into his ear. "So much."

"Bella?" he rasps.

"Yes, baby?" I whisper, sitting up to look at him.

Edward's eyes are barely open and his skin is an unearthly shade of white. I try to hold back my tears, but he breaks me with his smile and his barely audible words.

"Marry me."

I gasp and stare disbelieving at him until his eyes close. I collapse against his chest, trying and failing to stifle my sobs.

Emmett's panicked voice breaks through my cries.

"Bella? What's wrong? Is he..." His voice breaks. "Bella, why are you crying like that?"

I struggle to sit up and form words, but somehow manage. "I'm sorry. He's okay." I stare down at his closed eyes and ashen lips. "He's still breathing at least."

Unfortunately, his breaths are getting longer, slower and more irregular. I know from experience what this means and a fresh wave of hot tears slide over my cheeks.

"Hurry, Emmett! Please, hurry."

It feels like an eternity passes before we hit the streets of Port Angeles. I have to hang on for dear life and hold Edward in place as Emmett maneuvers through and around traffic. He's on the radio the whole time and I hear dispatch inform him that the hospital is waiting for him.

"We're almost there, Edward. Hang on, okay?"

He doesn't respond, though I'm not surprised. He has to have been losing blood for almost an hour now.

"Edward, can you open your eyes? Can you look at me? Please, I want to see those gorgeous green eyes."

He stays silent, unmoving except for the long, unsteady breaths he takes.

"Edward, please open your eyes. Stay with me. Stay with Emmett. Please, Edward."

His breath shudders and his mouth moves, but no sound comes out. I link my fingers together with his good hand and raise my free hand to his neck, terrified but determined.

I check his pulse. It takes me four tries to find it. I can barely feel it and it's way, way too slow.

"Emmett!"

"Three blocks."

"We're not doing so good, here... Get back on the radio!"

"And tell them what? They know we're coming!"

"He's barely breathing Emmett, and I can hardly feel his pulse..."

There's a moment of silence and then Emmett erupts.

"Shit! Dammit! Fu... You are not allowed to die on us, Edward!" He grabs the radio, still speeding through traffic. "346001 to Port Angeles Dispatch, advise to Olympic Medical Center on inbound casualty."

The radio crackles, indicating for Emmett to continue.

"346001 in route to Olympic Medical. Previously advised on single trauma victim. Twenty-nine-year-old male, Caucasian, single GSW to left shoulder. Patient is unresponsive and no longer breathing. ETA two minutes."

Edward coughs, almost if he wants to argue with Emmett. His eyes flutter a bit as he rasps for breath. I cry, my tears falling in steady streams over my face and onto our joined hands, while I wait for his chest to rise again.

"Hang on, baby. Please stay here. Stay with me. Just breathe."

Emmett continues on the radio while I beg Edward to hold on, to keep breathing. I keep my fingers on his weakening pulse and my eyes on his chest. I scream at Emmett when it no longer rises and falls.

"Breathe for him, Anna Bella! Do you know how to do that?"

"Like CPR?" I rasp, suddenly feeling like an idiot. A panicked idiot. "Yeah, yeah... I can do that."

I sit up on my knees and tilt Edward's head back with shaking hands, using two fingers to lift his chin and open his airway. As I lean over him, my other hand closing over his nose, I can almost hear my father's deep, steady voice whispering in my ear.

"_Rescue breathing should be administered slowly. Don't let panic take over and make you stupid. One breath every five seconds. The best thing to do is count it in your head. Like this. Breathe-2-3-4-5, stop and inhale, then repeat, breathe-2-3-4-5. Nice and steady. Got it, Bells? Good. Now, you try."_

Sealing my lips over his, I do as my father taught me and breathe for Edward. I listen to my dad's voice in my head and breathe for the only other man I've ever loved.

It hardly seems real. I wish that it wasn't.

Just as I've lost count of how many times I've administered breaths to Edward, the car comes to a sudden, jarring halt.

"We're here!" Emmett yells. "We're here, we're here, thank God, we're here," he repeats as he throws himself out of the cruiser. I readjust my position and keep doing what I'm doing.

A part of me is still hoping Edward will start gasping and coughing and push me away. But it's Emmett that has to peel me away. I hardly register his voice when the door closest to Edward's head opens and several men in paper gowns, plastic eye glasses, and gloves appear.

"Anna Bella, let go. They need to get him inside."

Someone is behind me, having crawled halfway in the backseat.

"Come on, kiddo. You need to let him go so the doctors can help him."

I realize that it's Emmett trying to pull me up off of the floorboard while the doctors, or nurses, or whoever they are, extricate Edward from the cruiser.

"Emmett. He's not breathing."

"I know, honey. They'll help him though. They'll fix him."

I stare straight ahead, my eyes fixed on my hands, now empty, shaking, and bloodied.

"Come on," Emmett says. "We need to get you checked out, too."

I shake my head, but we're walking forward anyway. "I'm fine. I just want Edward. I want to go with Edward."

"I know. Come on."

Emmett pulls me close to his side and ushers me into the emergency room. His uniform seems to get us through all the doors without many questions, and soon we're standing outside a trauma room that's a flurry of movement and noise. As we stand there listening to the medical personnel work on Edward, I don't even realize I'm trembling violently.

Emmett starts rubbing my arms and calls for a blanket.

"We've got one," a deep, vaguely familiar voice says. Emmett turns around with me still under his arm. The tall, slightly graying man across the hall from us smiles. "You're Jasper's friend, right?"

I nod just as Emmett growls menacingly. "Who the hell are you?"

The man I've only met once before raises an eyebrow and puts his hand out. "I'm a good guy. The name's Garrett. Bella called me."

I nod when Emmett looks at me to confirm this information. They shake hands while a petite, strikingly beautiful blond steps forward and lifts up a thick woolen blanket.

"Here, sweetie."

"Thanks," I whisper as she hands it to me. I start to turn around to keep an eye on Edward, but something in their gazes makes me stop. The woman moves to my side.

"We have to get you out of here, little lady," Garrett says. "If you're hurt, Kate's a nurse and can take care of you for now. We need to move."

Emmett bristles and pulls me over to his other side. "Is that really necessary? The guy who did this is in custody back in Forks. And how can I be sure I can trust you anyway?"

Garrett eyes Emmett for a moment and steps closer to us, lowering his voice.

"Because Jasper Whitlock trusts me and he's the one who told Bella to come to me. As for the man you have in custody? We don't know he was working alone, or how high up this thing goes. Besides, I got in touch with Alice Brandon just a few minutes ago and she gave me strict instructions as to how to proceed. That's all I can tell you. Now..."

"No, I'm sorry," I stop him. "I won't leave Edward. I need to make sure he's okay before I go anywhere."

Garrett frowns. "You know that's not possible."

"I don't care."

"Well, I do. As do the people who nearly gave their lives today to protect you, including this Edward." He lifts his chin towards the trauma room behind us.

I feel like I can't breathe.

"Shh, Bella girl... Hey!" Emmett barks at Garrett. "That was a shitty thing to say to her. If she wants to stay, she should stay. Nothing's going to happen to her while I'm with her anyway. I can promise you that."

"I'm fairly sure that the U.S. Marshals assigned to protect her felt the same way, Officer..." Garrett squints at Emmett's badge. "McCarty-Cullen. But with all due respect, this is not a normal protection detail. In fact, if you'll look around, I think you'll see what I mean. The Feds just walked in the door."

Emmett's chin jerks up, but I'm still trying not to hyperventilate.

"Again," Garrett continues. "I have no idea whether that asshole agent in Forks was working alone, so I need to get Isabella out of here."

"_Isa_bella?" Emmett asks sharply.

The woman I now know as Kate, steps close to me and puts an arm around my shoulder. "Please come with us, Bella. So many people want you safe. Let us help you."

I shake my head, tears streaming down my face at the same time a monitor in the room behind us goes berserk.

"Charge to two-hundred! Push a milligram of epi!"

Emmett spins around, letting go of me, but I follow him in an instant. There are five people standing around Edward's bed, but they all back-up simultaneously as a pair of defibrillator paddles are brought to his bare chest.

"Clear!"

I wince and close my eyes, but it's a second too late. The image of Edward's body arching off the table slightly is burned into my mind.

"Oh, God... oh, God... oh, God..."

_Please don't take him, please don't take him, please..._

"Bella!" a woman shouts, I feel her gripping me around the waist. "Garrett, grab her."

"Again! Another round of epi! Change to three-sixty! And we need more blood, people! We're losing him!"

"Edward..." I whimper.

_Please, please, please..._

"Clear!"

* * *

_**I am so, so, so sorry... Once again, please don't aim those firearms at me. I promise you reap the benefits of the cliffie-monster. **_

_**Next update will be on Tuesday. Tell your friends, okay? **_

_**Much Love & Big Hugs, (Deep Breaths, too.)  
**_

–_**Ginnie 3**_

_**PS- Muchas Gracias to my betas & pre-readers for making this chapter much better than it was, as well as hanging in there while I was still writing it. :) ****  
**_


	11. Chapter 11

_****First thing, I am a dunce and loaded the wrong version of Chapter 10 on Sunday. It was a very small difference, but if you read the update prior to 8a.m. EST on Sunday morning, you may spot it below. I apologize and will try to be more diligent in the future. **_

_**So, did you survived the last chapter? You'll be glad to know that Edward did too, and will be telling his story starting now. There are some flashbacks along the way, which I've separated with little squiggly lines. Hopefully, once you read this, you'll get the hang of it. The next few chapters will be similar in format. **_

_**Disclaimer:**__**I can't claim any of it. The song, the Twilight, Edward's striking good looks... it all belongs to someone else.**_

* * *

Chapter 11:

_EPOV—_

_What the hell just happened?_

It's a thought that's practically been my mantra for the last four months, and as I watch Bella's face go pale in response to my blood, it's now joined by the also familiar, _"How could I have let this happen?"_

Since meeting Bella, I've been horrified by my own behavior most of the time, and yet somehow, I can't bring myself to regret any of it. Not now. Not when she's become my whole world. My everything.

I find it almost comical she could doubt I'd leave my whole life behind for her. Apparently, I would also _give_ my life for her. Though, that definitely isn't the plan. Nor was it the plan when I gunned the accelerator at that maniac pointing a gun at her a few minutes ago.

At least I mowed him down with the car. _Asshat_. I can't say I even care whether or not he's dead now, as long as he doesn't come after us ever again, it doesn't matter.

All that matters is Bella. Whatever she needs. However this has to go down.

Am I delusional? Maybe. But I don't really think so. I haven't lost enough blood yet to be delusional.

I just know I'm supposed to be with her. I know she's it for me. I felt it the first time I held her in my arms, this all-encompassing sense of completion. It was what I'd been waiting for all my life. What my parents had. What I thought, for a long time at least, I never would.

"Edward..? I think we need to pull over."

Her sweet voice jars me out of my thoughts. I remember our situation, remember that we're fleeing for our lives in a busted up Volvo and I shake my head. There's no way I'm stopping.

Except that I can hardly see the road after telling her so.

Her hand covers mine on the steering wheel. "Edward? Baby? You're losing a lot of blood. You need to let me drive."

My eyes drift to hers automatically. Her gaze is steadfast, earnest. She means it, and dammit it if she isn't right. I know I'm losing blood –a lot more blood than I've let on.

I feel helpless when she sees it. She looks positively horrified and ill, but I can only imagine how scared she is as well. And after all she's been through, it's so unfair that this is happening to her now. That she has to survive this, too.

Why did I have to take her to that movie last night?

Yet, if I hadn't, I would still be loathing myself for the way she affects me. I would still be ignorant of the truth. I would still be under the assumption that she was just a high school student. I would never have gotten to know the unbelievably extraordinary woman who revealed herself to me last night. Never would have learned that she cared for me the way I cared for her. Never would have learned that I wasn't actually insane, or sick, or perverted...

I may have never learned that I was just _in love_.

In love with the most beautiful brown-eyed girl I've ever seen. Did I even tell her that brown's my new favorite color? It's warm, it's welcoming, it's Bella.

It's also my very first memory of her.

And somewhere between being loaded into the back of my brother's police cruiser, and losing consciousness completely, it replays in my mind, again and again.

~(~)~

A streak of brown is all I see before I feel and hear the collision of a small body with my own. The sickening thud that follows has me down on one knee, apologizing to a small, crumpled form in an instant.

"Are you okay? I am so sorry, I didn't see you," I say, horrified that I'd been in such a hurry to get a cup of coffee between classes.

_Why did I think I wouldn't need a day off to rest after being out of town all weekend? Stupid. _

"Are you all right?" I repeat.

I realize, as I take stock of the completely shocked face staring up at me, that I've not only just plowed down a student, but a female student at that. To my rising horror, she fails to respond right away, but merely blinks, her eyes dilating and then contracting as they open and close rapidly.

"Can you sit up, sweetheart? Did you hit your head?" I ask out of order. I suppose knowing if she has a head injury should come before getting her to sit up. Not thinking, or even waiting for a response, I slide a hand behind her skull to feel for bumps or abrasions.

Though I feel nothing obvious, she remains silent and stunned. My anxiety grows along with an odd butterfly-like sensation when I look into the deep, brown eyes still below me. Unnerved by it, and by my concern for her, I move my eyes over the rest of the girl to try and figure out if she's been otherwise injured.

Of course, it's only then that I realize I have no idea who she is.

"Mr. Cullen? What happened here?" a familiar voice calls out.

Ms. Meyer, the only colleague I have here who I'd call a genuine friend, kneels down opposite me.

"Is she all right?" she asks kindly.

Before I can answer Steph's question, however, an ear-splitting shriek from down the hall interrupts me.

"Oh, my gosh! What did you do to the new girl, Mr. Cullen!"

I can't help but look up with annoyance and embarrassment coloring my gaze. I grind my teeth together in an effort to control my temper and tell the onlookers to go back to class immediately.

Meanwhile, Steph has begun tending to the girl between us and has managed to get her sitting up. As soon as she's up, she seems to be capable of speech again.

"I'm sorry. I'm fine," she says in an unsteady voice.

"Are you sure?" Steph asks. Like me, she's frowning at the shakiness in the girl's voice.

"Maybe we should have that bump on your head checked out," I suggest.

The girl shakes her head slightly. "I'm fine. And my head's fine," she says, rubbing it as if to convince us. "If it still hurts later, I'll just ask your father to take a look at it."

_My father? _

Suddenly, the blood drains from my face and all the pieces come together. "You're Anna Bella?" I gasp.

_Anna Bella, as in my parents' new foster child? _

_ Anna Bella, as in my new fourth period trig student?_

My supposedly professional colleague giggles next to me. "Who else would she be, Edward? It's not like we get new students here every day."

At first I scowl at being teased publicly, but I cover it quickly with my trademark smirk.

"Yeah, I guess you have a point," I say. I offer the poor girl sitting between us a hand. "Welcome to Forks High School, Anna Bella. I'm sorry that we met this way."

Anna Bella stares at my hand for a long moment, but makes no move to take it. I look up at Steph again, concern seeping back in.

She raises her eyebrow in question, but just shrugs and pats Anna Bella's shoulder.

"Come on, kiddo. If you're not hurt, you need to get up. Class is about to start."

The words appear to do the trick and the next thing I know, I'm pulling the girl to her feet.

Metaphorically speaking, it's that moment when she knocks me off of mine.

The room actually seems to spin when our gazes lock, and I feel dizzy. It's as though I am literally unable to keep myself steady while I stare into her wide, deep eyes. For a moment, it's as if I've just disappeared inside her, or possibly blacked out. As I come back to myself, my heart is beating wildly, and my breaths are unsteady. The only thing steady is the girl in front of me –almost like she's the center point of the universe, or the only thing in it.

A subtle cough makes me very aware that this is far from the case.

My hand releases hers in a rush, as she rips hers out of mine in return. Before I can even blink, she steps around me and into the classroom. I turn and stare after her.

"Edward?" Steph calls, coming to stand in my line of sight.

"Huh?" I respond.

Her eyes widen. "Are you okay? You look like..." She looks up and down the hall and then pulls me a few feet to the side, allowing a few students to pass into my classroom. "You look like you're the one that just took a blow to the head. What was that?" she hisses.

I blink. "What was what?"

She studies me for a moment, then shakes her head as the bell rings. "Pull yourself together and get in there, Mr. Cullen. Seriously..."

She awards me her trademark eye-roll before turning on her heel and leaving me standing there, outside my classroom, wondering what the hell just happened.

~(~)~

Something warm and wet touches my forehead. And someone is crying.

_She's_ crying. My Bella is crying.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I'm sorry for all of this. I never should have agreed to coming here."

It takes me a moment to understand what she means, but not a second more to know that she's wrong.

"Shh..." I whisper, turning my head towards where I know she is. "I'm glad... you came."

"Please be okay," she whispers, touching my cheek. "Please don't leave me."

"Never," I vow. "I love... you."

"I love you, too. So much."

Her voice is a broken whisper in my ear. She sounds so afraid and I feel a desperate urge to comfort her. To make sure she knows I mean my words.

I won't leave her. I refuse to give up. Despite the fact that I feel woozy and weak, or that each breath takes more effort than the last, I will not give up. For several long, perfect hours last night I could see my whole future in her eyes. I just didn't tell her. I have to tell her.

"Bella?" I call out, forcing my eyes open to look at her. The world spins and darkens, but I'll hold on as long as I can.

"Yes, baby?" I hear her say before I can finally see her pretty face again.

I smile when she comes into view and say the first thing I think of that tells her everything I need her to know in as few words as possible.

"Marry me?"

She gasps and into the darkness I descend.

~(~)~

A light shines down on us as we sit together at my parents' dining table; a shy, skittish girl who can't understand math and a confused, nervous man obsessed with helping her figure it out.

Or perhaps I'm just obsessed with her in general.

I mean, I only met her five days ago, but I can't stop wondering about her. I can't stop watching her, observing her, trying to figure her out. To figure out the hold she has on me.

That she agreed to let me help her with her homework, even if it was reluctantly, makes me feel an odd combination of emotions that are concerning –especially concerning when combined with our encounter in my classroom yesterday.

When I think about it, I can almost feel the tingle of her warm skin beneath my palms again. It's unsettling. I hadn't even meant to touch her, let alone in any intimate kind of way. I'd only wanted to express my concern for her failing grade in my class.

Her transcripts indicated she shouldn't be having any trouble, so I worried about the cause. Was she acting out? Was she spacing out? Did she not care? Because I cared. I cared about all of the kids. I knew math was low on the average teenager's list of priorities, but I also knew from experience that a solid foundation could make the rest of their lives much better. So I cared.

But with Bella, I was starting to think I cared too much.

I pulled her aside like I normally would, but lost control of the conversation quickly. She reacted to my concern so much differently than I anticipated. She got angry and indignant. Not that I had any idea over what, but I reacted in kind before I could stop myself. Then she went and nearly toppled over a desk head first and I just reacted again.

I didn't even hesitate. Whether she was angry at me or not, I reached out instinctively to keep her from falling. I put my hands around her waist to steady her and ended up pulling her against me.

It wasn't intentional, but that made it no less powerful. And no less wrong.

"Is that wrong?" her nervous voice calls me out of my wandering thoughts. I look across the table at the math problem she's been working on and shake my head.

"Yeah, actually, it is."

She groans and clunks her head against the table. I laugh and grab the text book, flipping back a few more chapters so we can start again.

If only it were that easy in real life. If only I could go back in time and start again without knocking her flat on her back, or staring at her like she's the sun, or touching her. Yeah, definitely want to avoid touching her.

Because now all I want to do is touch her again.

I restrain myself anyway. For the next hour, I keep my hands to myself. Even when Bella finally has some success and my instinct is to offer her a high five, or a pat on the shoulder, I keep it reined in.

Instead I tell her a joke. Unfortunately, it backfires and makes her sad. Or rather, it causes her to remember her old high school, and that makes her sad. Because for a split second, talking about her old life wasn't hard. For a split second, she forgot all that she'd lost.

And I get that. I've been there. So I tell her. Then I touch her.

It's a gesture of comfort and encouragement, but as we talk and she opens up to me, it rapidly becomes something else.

Something more.

I could try and convince myself it's a brotherly affection I feel growing inside, but I know myself better than that. The things I'm feeling for this girl... the way she affects me...

It's definitely something more.

Something that scares the hell out of me.

~(~)~

A wave of panic rushes through me as something causes my body to dip and my stomach to flutter. I feel my legs tilt to the side and someone push them back up.

"We're almost there, Edward. Hang on, okay?"

_Bella... _

I instantly relax.

"Edward, can you open your eyes? Can you look at me? Please, I want to see those gorgeous green eyes."

I try. I honestly try to open my eyes for her, but it feels like my body is disconnected from my brain. I can almost see us as if from above; me lying across the back seat of my brother's police cruiser with a blood-soaked shirt, and Bella crouched on the floor next to me, begging me to stay with her.

_Is this a dream?_

"Edward, please open your eyes. Stay with me. Stay with Emmett. Please, Edward."

I try to do as she commands once again, but nothing changes. I still feel like I can see the whole scene playing out from even farther away.

Bella lifts a shaking hand to my neck, she checks for a pulse. She sighs in relief when she finds it and yet screams at my brother to get us to the hospital faster. I can almost see him on the radio, speeding through traffic one-handed like the stunt car drivers we used to wish we'd grow up to be. He tells them I'm not breathing, but I don't think that's quite right.

It feels like I'm breathing. At least it does until the scene in my head shifts and disappears. I feel Bella hovering over me, titling my chin up and placing her sweet, soft lips over mine, creating a seal.

I drift. I hear nothing, I feel nothing, but I think lots of things.

_This cannot be happening..._

_My poor, poor, beautiful girl... _

_ My Bella... Bella... _

~(~)~

"Bella?"

I blink as if what I'm seeing across the crowded, smoky sports bar will actually disappear. It doesn't.

I spin around, as if to make sure I haven't just walked into the wrong place. I haven't.

But the longer I stare at a familiar head of silky, dark brown hair in the back corner booth, the more I'm starting to think that Bella has. Boy, has she ever.

I mean, I haven't even been in this joint before. It's rough looking and off the beaten path, and there are about forty-five Harley's parked out front at the moment. It looked like just the kind of place I would want to drown my sorrows and avoid running into anyone I knew.

I realize with a jolt that maybe that was Bella's plan too. If that is, in fact, Bella.

A small, feminine hand snakes across the table and covers the more masculine one. The delicate appendage might as well have been stamped with a photocopy of Bella's ID because there is a very familiar piece of jewelry sitting on the first finger. It's a piece of jewelry I see every single day in fourth period –Bella's moonstone ring.

My thoughts start running a million miles an hour, preventing me from moving right away.

Part of me is ready to rip the arms off of the guy sitting at the table with her just for touching her, let alone for bringing her to a place like this. Another part of me is angry at her for being here. And then there's a smaller part of me, small but growing larger every moment, that is deeply wounded.

After all, the thing that drew my attention to the very back of the bar, the thing that revealed her presence to me, was the sound of her laughter. Laughter like I've never heard from her before. Oh, I knew the sound of her voice immediately. I'd know it anywhere. But the only times I've known her to laugh, it didn't hold half of the joy or elation that seemed to come from her tonight.

I close my eyes and take several deep, steadying breaths, pinching the bridge of my nose in the process. After the night I had tonight, this was the very last thing I needed.

I _needed_ to forget Anna Bella Dwyer. I _needed_ to put her out of my head for once and for all. I _needed_ to get my shit together and not ruin any more dates with beautiful women who might have wanted me to spend the night with them because of a sick little obsession I have with one of my students.

A phenomenal, compassionate, and gifted student... but a student nonetheless.

"Dammit!" I hiss, opening my eyes to find I've garnered a few strange looks from people standing nearby.

I ignore them and stare across the room; anger building, frustration peaking, resentment festering.

_What is she doing here?_

_What is she doing to_ me_?_

My feet start moving with purposeful steps. My first priority is to get her out of here. To get her away from the schmuck sitting across from her with his dirty blond hair and all-too obvious laugh lines. I'll deal with everything else later. When we're both in our cars on our way back to Forks.

Except that, as I approach the table, I see there's no way Bella will be able to drive home tonight. At the same moment, the jackass across her apparently recognizes me, or wises up, because he belatedly grabs the bottle of beer out of her hands.

Somehow Bella says the words I happen to be thinking at that exact moment.

"What the hell?" she exclaims.

I feel an ironic bubble of humor at her words, but it's eclipsed by my anger.

"That's exactly what I'd like to know," I say through clenched teeth.

Her reaction is immediate.

Shock and disbelief color her expression as I step in front of the table, arms crossed and pissed off. I question her, asking her what in God's name she thinks she's doing here, but she doesn't answer. She refuses to even acknowledge me. My resentment grows.

Then the flannel-clad idiot with her starts to stand and defend her.

I lose my temper and threaten him. He sits back and puts his hands up, placating me for a time, although I can tell he's calculating his next move. Watching the way he sizes me up makes me seethe.

_What the hell does this guy want with Bella? _

Even though I was fairly sure of the answer, it was a question I had every intention of asking him to his face. I just never could have been predicted what his actual excuse would be.

A United States Marshal? I mean, is he serious?

I immediately look to Bella for confirmation when the guy shows me his badge.

Her eyes tell me all I need to know. He's legitimate, and she's afraid. Afraid of him, or me, or of whatever's happening to her, I don't know.

But for the first time since I've known her, I see the depth of Bella's fear and pain in her eyes. All this time I'd thought her merely grieving, but this is so much more. Something significant enough to put a hollowed out expression on her beautiful face that belies the seriousness of the situation.

My emotions swing as if on a pendulum after that. It's completely unsettling.

I'm a guy. I don't do mood swings. It's exhausting to be mad as hell one moment and terrified the next. Indignant in one breath and then humbled in the next. Jealous, then overwhelmed with concern and a desire to comfort.

By the time I've accomplished my goal and get Bella out of the bar, I'm too raw to say anything I won't likely regret, so I stay silent for as long as I can.

When we pass Port Angeles, Bella starts in on me about leaving her car. I start in on her about drinking.

I wonder how the hell she didn't get carded, but don't ask. I do ask about Jasper Whitlock when she makes up some excuse about how he would never let her get hurt.

_What did she think I was doing at this very moment?_

That aside, the conversation turns heavier. I have to ask her what kind of relationship she has with him. Fancy cop or not, I'll kill him if he's abused his position as her protector just to get in her pants.

The thought makes my stomach twist and my chest ache. Is it in sheer disgust, or something more?

_You're jealous..._ a voice whispers somewhere deep inside. I tamp it down with a heavy dose of self-loathing. I know I'm just as bad, if not worse than the flannel-clad, Timberland wearing, Federal agent I want to disembowel at the moment.

I'm relieved beyond measure when Bella tells me I won't have to.

Just past Lake Crescent, her phone beeps and I watch out of the corner of my eye as she reads an incoming text. I stifle a loud sigh.

"Is that him?"

"Yes," she says simply.

The breath I've been holding escapes me in a rush. "What have you gotten yourself into?"

She doesn't answer. I know she won't.

"You can't answer that. I get it," I say.

"Thank you," she whispers.

My mouth opens again before I can stop myself. "Is Bella even your real name? Can you at least tell me that?"

"I shouldn't," she replies. She's quiet for a while then surprises me. "But... yes," she answers. "Bella is my real name."

"Good," I answer. "It suits you."

The rest of the drive is quiet, though my mind is anything but.

~(~)~

Instead of being in my car on the way to Forks, I'm being pulled out of it and onto a gurney. I don't think I should even be aware of this, but something jolted me from the warm and comfortable, if somewhat confusing, place that I was.

Awareness turns out to be a funny thing.

A moment ago I was on my way home with Bella, about to overstep my boundaries and give in to my longstanding desire to hold her in my arms and comfort her, and now I'm being wheeled away from her and into a hospital.

I can't even see, but I know it to be true.

I know because I can feel her presence leaving me, I can feel the last breath she gave me leaving my body.

And it's so completely unfair.

It's so wrong that one person should have to endure the worst kind of loss imaginable and then go through it all over again.

Even as my brain struggles for survival, there's one thing I know.

I _cannot_ die. I can't. It would kill her, too. I know it would.

I've heard it in her voice. I've seen it in her eyes.

Her beautiful, brown eyes.

They're the last thing I can remember seeing before I couldn't keep my own eyes open any longer. Even now, as the darkness descends on me, they're burned into my mind and heart.

And as I drift... As I slip... They are the last most precious thoughts I have.

_Brown... _

_ Beautiful... _

_ Bella. _

_~(~)~_

"Bella?" I call out across the room.

It's been almost a week since I last spoke to her and she looks surprised, a bit fearful. I kick myself internally, berating myself for having been a coward since the night I crossed every line of decency there is. I should have apologized for my behavior again sooner, but I was afraid to even look at Bella, let alone speak to her.

But now we're back in my classroom once again and I need to change that. I've kept up the silent treatment long enough and someone is bound to notice the tension between us soon if I don't do something to ease it. I at least have to know if she's okay, or if she's frightened of me now.

Were that the case, I'd have to do something about it. Though I don't know how the school would find a replacement for me on short notice, and at this point in the school year.

It's an unusually cold Thursday morning in March. Snow fell lightly this morning and, though it's technically still winter, this much of the fluffy white stuff is unusual for Forks. It makes for delighted and distracted teenagers.

With the exception of one.

Which is why I've chosen to speak with her this day.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" I ask tentatively. "It won't take long."

Bella looks towards the door longingly, watching as the rest of her classmates file out. When the last one exits the room, she sits back down at her desk.

She says nothing. She doesn't move her eyes from the fake wooden surface in front of her. She barely seems to breathe.

"Are you all right?" I ask softly, maintaining my post at my own desk –far across the room from her– with the door wide open.

She nods. Twice.

I clear my throat and take a deep breath. "I owe you another apology. I've made you uncomfortable in class now."

She shakes her head. "No," is all she says.

"Haven't I? You can't even look at me."

Still she remains silent.

"I know what I did, Anna Bella, and I know it was... out of line."

Her bottom lip quivers ever so slightly and her eyes close. I don't think I'm imagining that she's breathing faster too.

"I'm so sorry for this," I whisper, looking down.

"You didn't do this, Ed..." She takes a stilted breath. "Um, Mr. Cullen."

I cringe. "I'm your teacher. I'm like your..." I choke on the word, my throat refusing to allow it to pass. _Brother._ I cough. "At the very least, I should have known better than to push."

"You didn't do anything wrong. You only wanted to help. I understand that, but I can't let you. I'm sorry."

She stands up and looks at me. Her eyes are filled with sorrow and regret, but then she blinks and it's like someone erased her whole personality.

"Bella...?"

She shakes her head and starts for the door. "Don't worry about it. Let's just forget the whole thing."

"Bella, please."

"See you tomorrow, Mr. Cullen."

"Bella, no..." I whisper.

But it's too late.

She's gone.

~(~)~

Darkness and silence.

Numbness and weightlessness.

Then... everything.

Sound and light. Warmth and cold. Awareness and confusion. Pain, and fear, and exhaustion.

My eyelids feel like they weigh a hundred pounds each. I can't seem to make them open, but I can hear.

I hear murmured voices, the incessant beeping of a machine, the hiss of a second one. I hear air swirling through a vent and the pages of a book being turned. I hear humming and my own breathing.

In and out. In and out. In and... ouch, that hurts.

I think I may have gotten a little overzealous about the breathing because there is now a searing pain in my shoulder. I also feel an almost throbbing ache radiating from that point down my arm and even into my chest.

I take a smaller breath, but it doesn't work. Something's caught in my very dry throat. I try to cough and now the pain is intensifying, spreading and growing at the same time. I groan and fight against the thing in my throat, but it's choking me.

"Carlisle, wake up!"

_Mom..._

"Edward? Honey? It's all right. You're all right. You're in the hospital. There's a tube in your throat to help you breathe. It's okay."

"Don't fight it, son. Just relax," a sleepy voice says. "Did you press the call button, love?"

"Yes."

"Did he open his eyes, or just start fighting the vent?"

"He just started sort of gagging. Is that bad? What's wrong, Carlisle?"

I feel my father's hands on me and I try to open my eyes. They barely flutter.

"I think he's feeling some pain," my dad finally says. "How long has it been since his nurse was in?"

"I don't know, maybe twenty minutes?"

My dad takes my hand. "Edward, son? If you can hear me, squeeze my hand."

I squeeze as hard as I can.

"Are you in pain?"

I do it again. It takes some effort.

A hear a door open and set of footsteps. "Dr. Cullen?"

"My son's in pain. Can you administer more morphine?"

"His last dose should have been enough for another hour or so and with his kidneys..."

"I don't care! Get the attending physician in here. My son is exhibiting all the non-verbal cues for a patient in extreme physical pain, and he's now struggling against the vent. We do not need to be adding anything to the whole host of problems we're already dealing with."

"Yes, sir. I'll be right back," the unfamiliar voice says.

A finger lifts one of my eyelids and shines a bright light in it. I wince and try to turn my head which now feels like it's ready to explode.

"Hang on, Edward. Just stay calm. Stay calm..."

I try, but it feels like an eternity before anyone returns and the searing, aching, excruciating pain finally begins to ebb. Eventually, I can breathe again.

In and out. In and out. In and...

"Edward, it's Dad. If you're still in pain, can you squeeze my hand?"

I stay still. I'm exhausted, but no longer hurting.

I feel a hand on my forehead. "Do you think he's going to be okay, Carlisle?"

"I hope so, sweetheart. We're just going to have to keep a close eye on him."

Someone sniffles. "Rest now, honey... Sleep and get better."

Warmth touches my cheek. Lips, perhaps? A kiss?

This thought triggers something. An image... Brown eyes... Beautiful, brown eyes that stay with me until I drift once again.

~(~)~

I'm not sure what it was that caught my attention initially. I was nearly asleep on my parent's couch, the Military Channel droning on in the background, when something made me sit up.

A thud and Bella's voice made me stand up.

Arriving outside her bedroom door to hear her practically screaming woke me the hell up. And fast.

"Bella?" I call out, knocking.

Nothing. Silence. No, not silence, but the sound of muted sobs and thrashing sheets.

"What the hell?" Pressing my ear against the wood, I try the handle.

It's locked.

_"Nooo... don't, please don't..."_ she moans.

"Bella?" I shout, jerking the handle and banging my shoulder against the barrier in my way.

It takes me only a split-second to reach up and grab the key from above the doorframe. Praying she's only having a bad dream, I unlock the door and throw it open. My eyes scan the room, a weight lifting from my chest when I see that it's empty with the exception of Bella.

She's twisted in her sheets and crying, but otherwise uninjured and alone. No one is hurting her. No one is here.

_Thank God._

Relieved, I walk to her bedside, glancing at the closet and towards the bathroom just to be sure. There's nothing there either. Bella cries out again. My feet move without my permission as she calls for her mother, choking on another sob.

Kneeling down next to her bed, I try to calm her. "Shhh, Bella. It's okay. It's just a dream."

"Mom... Daddy..."

"Oh, sweet girl," I sigh, my heart breaking for her. "Come on, wake up."

She doesn't seem to hear me. Her face twists like she's in pain, her head thrashes to the side and sends her hair tumbling down over parts of her face. She sobs again.

"Anna Bella, wake up," I say a little louder.

It's probably not loud enough, but I'm afraid of startling her awake. I'm also afraid of what she'll do when she sees me here. And of what _I'll_ do... or say.

I've been a nervous wreck just having to sleep in the same house as her. Being in her room in the middle of the night is nearly enough to send me into a panic. Especially considering how she reacted the last time I tried to take care of her or comfort her.

She can barely stand to look me in the eye anymore. How will she feel finding me at her bedside? With her little tank-top pushed halfway up her stomach and her long, shiny hair splayed every which way?

I close my eyes and rub my face vigorously with my hands while adding '_Bella in pajamas'_ to the list of things I'm not allowed to think about ever again.

"Edward..."

My head snaps up wildly. My heart pounding, I fall over at the shock of hearing my name. When my eyes make their way back to the bed, I expect to see her sitting up or getting ready to hit me or something, but she remains lying on her side, seemingly still asleep.

"Bella?"

I say her name gently, waiting to see if she'll open her eyes. She doesn't. Her breaths even out and instead of the grimace from moments ago, her face is now the picture of peace, a small smile playing at her lips.

Scooting back to the side of the bed again, I kneel next to her. I'm a little confused by the sudden change in her demeanor. I guess I can assume her nightmare must have run its course.

"Edward," she sighs again.

I blink in astonishment.

Did she wakeup and then close her eyes again? Is she still dreaming? Did she hear me comforting her, but stay in that place somewhere between being awake and being asleep?

I go with the last theory and whisper words of comfort to her. They fall so naturally from my lips.

"I'm here, Bella. You're safe... It was just a bad dream."

She breathes deeply and smiles, her nose twitching when a lock of hair slides against it. I have to stifle a small laugh, my hand reaching up automatically to lift the hair from her face. Pausing just long enough to make sure she doesn't move suddenly, I tuck it behind her ear.

Her head turns towards the motion causing me to withdraw quickly. She rolls over further and buries her head into her pillow.

"Mmmmmm, Edward..."

_Oh... crap..._

The air in my lungs leaves in a whoosh. My mouth falls open with a pop. The temperature of the room increases by about fifty degrees.

Forcing myself to keep breathing, I decide I must have actually gone over the deep end in my obsession with this girl.

I'm must be losing it, because Bella did not just moan my name.

"Stay..."

I exhale sharply once more and stare at her, unseeing, for a long time.

Eventually, I stand and grab Bella's desk chair to sit in. I don't think twice about what I'm doing. She asked me to stay, so I do. If I were capable of being entirely honest with myself, I'd admit that I'm waiting to see if she might possible say or _moan_ my name again.

She doesn't.

She remains quiet and calm. She stays at peace and remains relaxed in my presence for once. She also mumbles on occasion.

_Too green..._ _A swan... Hate math... _

The last one makes me smile, but also reminds me of our situation, and the fact that I shouldn't be in here with her.

Waiting until her talking subsides and she grows so still I have to watch her chest just to see that she's breathing, I decide to take my leave. I push her desk chair back into its place and pick up a book that I see peeking out from under her bed.

_Wuthering Heights..._

I laugh sardonically. I'd always hated Heathcliff and Catherine. Ironically, I felt much more sympathy towards them at this moment. Wanting something you can never have –loving someone you could never be with– it would make anyone go mad.

I look back at my own Catherine one last time before placing the book on her dresser and returning alone to my room where I belong.

~(~)~

The return of sensation and awareness doesn't take as long, nor come as much of a surprise the second time. I listen to everything around me and just breathe. My throat is dry and I have the urge to cough, but I also get the feeling that coughing would hurt.

When I hear my brother's voice nearby, I suddenly remember something. Mom and Dad were here before. Are they still here now?

And where is here?

Emmett's low voice reaches my ears again.

"Yeah, yeah I understand. I just know he's going to wake up and want some answers. Hell, we all do. My brother didn't take a bullet for no reason. That girl became a part of this family. Her safety means a lot to all of us."

_That girl?_ _Who? My girl?_

_My brown-eyed girl, beautiful girl..._

_My Bella..._

With her name on my lips, and her image on my heart, I force my eyes open.

~(~)~

* * *

_**He's alive! :) (Did you really think he wouldn't be? LOL)  
**_

_**Thanks to **__SueBee0619__** for getting this back to me a whole day earlier than I originally asked her to, and to **__Katmom,__** for so graciously volunteering to be a back-up in case Hurricane Irene caused any problems for Sue. To Adri, aka **__OneofEddie'sGirls__**, you rock, sista-friend! I'll see you on Skype. ;-)**_

_**To everybody else, I hope that all of you in the Eastern US survived Irene unscathed. I have, unfortunately, heard some sad reports of a few of our fandom losing their homes or other property. My heart and prayers go out to you all. 3 Thank you for the wonderful response to the last two chapters & all your reviews. I also wanted to say thank you for nominating "Arms" for an **__Emerging Swan Award__** for **__Best Bella & Edward__**! More info available at: http : / / emergingswanawards .blogspot .com/ **_

_**Voting starts tomorrow! **_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Hi, everyone! What a huge response to the last couple chapters! You guys really blew me away, thank you! **_

_**Mega hugs go to **__Katmom__** this week for taking over the beta **__**reins while **__SueBee_**__****'s away. **(Kathie's the one who first taught me it was "reins" and not "reigns." LOL!) :-) I also owe a big thank you to _IndieFicPimp __**and **__The Lemonade Stand__** for pimping this story out all over the place recently. -You're amazing!  
**_

_**Now... where were we? Oh, yes. Edward's awake now, so let's get back to it!**_

* * *

_**Disclaimer:**__** I do not own Twilight, its characters, or any kind of medical license. No copyright infringement, or professional expertise, is intended.**_

* * *

Chapter 12:

_EPOV—_

The light is so bright, it's almost blinding. My recently opened eyes blink reflexively, tearing up at the same time. Lifting my hand, I try to block out some of the light while my brother drones on in the background.

"No, I know, Alice. For what it's worth, I think you're doing the right thing. Yeah, yeah... I'm sorry, too. I promise you, I feel just as responsible, but there's honestly no way even you could have known."

I blink a few more times and blink the moisture from my eyes. Emmett sighs heavily at something and I attempt to get his attention. I raise a hand.

"Well, take it easy and get better. And try not to worry too much about Whitlock. From what I remember, he's a tough guy. He'll be up and walking again before you know it."

My eyes come into focus, allowing me to find Emmett in the room, but also to see a plastic tube sticking out of my mouth. Suddenly, instead of waving my brother down, I'm reaching up to feel the tube and see what else I'm hooked up to.

I can feel the strain in my lungs as my breathing changes and fights against the machine I'm apparently attached to.

"Emmett," a soft voice gasps. "Get off the phone!"

"What?" Emmett says.

"Edward...?"

My mother appears over me, her green eyes dancing back and forth over my features. She smiles and brings a hand to her mouth when she sees my eyes are open.

"You're awake," she whispers.

"He's awake?"

Mom nods. "Yes, call your sister. Go get your father."

_And Bella?_

Emmett leans over my bed right next to Mom. He has more scruff than I've seen on him in years. "Hey, big brother... welcome back."

"Honey, please go get Dad."

_And Bella. Where's Bella?_

Emmett nods. Mom takes my hand and runs her fingers over my hair.

"I don't know if you remember anything about what's going on, but don't be scared. You're in the hospital in Port Angeles and everything's fine. You're going to be okay."

She's smiling at me and she looks so relieved, but all I want is to ask her where Bella is.

My eyes dart around the room. Maybe she's here. Maybe that's why Mom didn't mention her.

The curtain around my bed is pulled back and several bodies file into the room. None of them are the one I'm looking for.

My father appears, looking more haggard than I've seen him before, but his face breaks into a wide smile when our eyes meet.

"Hi, my boy."

I lift a hand in a sort of wave and he chuckles. "Why don't we see about getting that tube out of your throat, huh?"

I nod, and go back to examining everybody else in the room.

Emmett has stepped out, presumably to call my sister. Mom is standing at the end of my bed now, watching. Dad is talking to the doctor in charge, a kid who looks younger than me, though I doubt that's possible.

I guess some people are just lucky that way. A thought that leads me back to Bella.

I meet Mom's eyes and make a gesture with my hands asking for pen and paper. She doesn't understand right away, but eventually gets it.

"Oh! You want something to write with?"

I nod, or try to. There are two pairs of hands near my face, and some of the tape holding things to me is being pulled off.

_Holy mother of... ow!_

I grunt and wince and a petite nurse with light blue eyes glances down at me.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry... One more and we're done."

She rips the tape off and I groan again, causing the tube to move in my throat. I tense up immediately.

"Relax, Edward," my dad says, taking one of my hands. "This is going to feel a little strange, but it will be easier if you stay calm and relaxed."

I look at my mom again while one of the nurses suctions out my mouth. I raise my eyebrows and she shakes her head, smiling.

"Can't you wait until they get the tube out?" she asks.

I shake my head at her and Dad chuckles.

"It's okay, Esme. He'll probably be too sore to talk much at first. A pen and pad of paper would be a good idea."

She takes a deep breath and hesitates a moment before going in search of my request. I look up at Dad when she goes and he winks at me. I realize now he's trying to keep her calm as well, and I half-smile at his effort to give her something to do.

Mom doesn't return until after they're ready to remove the tube, which turns out to be a good thing. The process leading up to the actual removal is agonizing, and I feel my eyes welling with tears as I retch repeatedly while they flush the tube and write a million and one things down on my chart. Even when my throat is finally free and clear, and an oxygen mask is in place over my mouth and nose, I have a hard time swallowing without gagging.

As soon as I've caught my breath and the doctor and nurses have left us, Mom hands me the pad with shaky hands. I offer her a weak smile while I breathe oxygen vapors in and out between coughs.

Dad praises me and reassures Mom that I'm doing perfectly well, or "just as expected".

I couldn't care less. I have one thing on my mind.

_**Bella?**_

I spell her name out on the paper in my hands.

Mom and Dad share a furtive glance. My heart lurches, the monitors behind me displaying that fact clearly to the entire room. Mom rubs my arm and sighs.

"She's not here, sweetheart."

"Where..." I start to say, but can't.

_**Where is she? **_ I write.

"Edward, son, we actually don't know where Anna Bella is right now. We assume she's safe."

"Perhaps I should go get Emmett," Mom says while I'm scribbling furiously.

_**Assume!**_

Dad begins speaking before I finish printing the 'E'.

"We have no other choice but assume. She was taken back into protective custody while you were still being worked on in the emergency room, son. You can to speak to your brother about the details, but we really don't know much. By the time our flight got here from Hawaii, you were in ICU and Bella was long gone.

"I'm sorry, son," he says, rubbing my uninjured shoulder. "Nobody's telling us anything. Just that she's being looked after."

I begin to scribble down a protest, but am stopped by a coughing fit, my breath coming too fast and my heart beating frantically. The oxygen mask slips off my face due to all my hacking.

"Here, let me..." Carlisle replaces the oxygen mask and holds it in place. His other hand goes to the top of my head and when I look up at him, I can see the fatigue in his eyes, along with the worry and the fear. This is not the doctor standing by my side, this is the father. A man afraid for his son. And maybe even for his sort of, almost daughter.

I place my hand over his on the mask and try to convey to him that I, at least, am okay. He smiles weakly and blinks away some moisture in his eyes.

"You scared us, my boy. You really, truly did."

"I'm sorry," I mouth.

"By all accounts you probably saved Anna Bella's life," he continues, his voice thick. "You've made us so proud, not that we haven't always been proud of you, but this..." He sighs, the air shuddering slightly as he exhales.

I squeeze his hand again and then remove it, reaching for the paper and pen once more.

_**I'm okay, Dad. I love you.**_

The door to the room swings open and Mom peeks her head in.

"Prepare yourself," she says, smiling with misty eyes.

I add to my note quickly. _**All of you.**_

Dad chuckles at the amendment right before Emmett barrels into the room. He looks at me with wild eyes for a moment, then smiles.

"Dude... you scared the shit out of me!"

I half laugh, half choke.

"Emmett," our father admonishes.

"What!" Emmett defends. "He died. Like, Bro," he says, moving to my side with serious, wide eyes. "You actually flat-lined. It took them four or five tries to get you back before they rushed you off to surgery. I thought you were a goner."

I blink at him, not having any memory of the events that took place after he put me in the back of his cruiser. I hadn't even thought of how close things may have been for me until now.

I hear quiet sobbing, and look over at my parents. My mother is crying into my father's chest, he has his arms around her and is scowling at Emmett.

I reach out to them. Dad turns Mom toward me.

"I'm sorry," I mouth. "I'm okay." I hand her the note I wrote before she walked in the room. She reads it and nods.

"We're just so glad you're alive, and finally awake. And I am so, so sorry we weren't here when it happened," she cries. She leans down and kisses my forehead before hugging me the best she can given that I'm lying in a hospital bed. "We never should have left," she whispers.

"Esme, honey..." Dad says.

I gesture for my pen and paper again when she pulls away. Dad hands it to me.

_**Not your fault, Mom. Mine. I took her out. I got her recognized. My fault. **_

Mom, Dad and Emmett all take a moment to read the note and then look at each other, before Emmett clears his throat.

"Listen, Edward... there are going to be some people who are going to want to talk to you. The FBI is investigating this, no let me clarify –the Internal Affairs division of the FBI is investigating this– so it's way, way out of my jurisdiction. I've been told in no uncertain terms to keep my nose out of their business. However... we haven't exactly called them to inform them you're awake yet." He pauses and looks at Mom and Dad again, tapping my bedrail in thought.

Dad speaks up. "Can you tell us what happened, son? Like I told you earlier, they aren't telling us a Goddamn thing. Sorry, honey." He glances at Mom apologetically. "And while you are our son, and our first priority, Anna Bella has been _our_ responsibility as well and we're quite fond of her."

Mom scoffs. "Speak for yourself, Carlisle Cullen. I'm more than fond of that girl. She's a daughter to me, and I want to know what happened! Feds or no Feds."

There's a charged silence, while everyone seems to be thinking. Well, at least I am. I knew my parents cared for Bella, my mother especially so, and a wave of guilt washes over me.

When I made my decision to be with Bella and deal with the consequences later, I didn't account for disaster striking.

Because of that, I don't know what to say. I don't know what they've been told so far, but according to my father, it's been nothing. Would I be endangering them, or implicating them in anything if I revealed all I knew about who Anna Bella Dwyer really was, or is?

_God, I hope she's okay... Please, let her be okay._

"Edward?" Emmett's voice catches my attention. "What can you tell us?"

I want to ask him, _What do you know already? _Instead I find my concern for Bella superseding all other thoughts and I blurt out my first real words since having the ventilator tube pulled from my throat.

"Are you sure... that Bella... is safe? Is she... okay?"

Emmett sighs and rubs a hand over his face for a moment. "I believe she is, yes. At least as okay as she can be."

"What does that mean?" I rasp, rubbing my throat. Dad hands me a cup of ice water and moves the oxygen mask so I can take a few sips.

"It means she went with who she supposed to go with, and they've taken extraordinary measures to make sure no one can find her. At least, that's what I'm being told, but... she didn't want to go. She wanted to stay here."

_Oh, my poor, sweet girl..._

A wave of grief for her washes over me and I nearly choke on another sip of ice water. My chest hurts a bit, and I find myself wishing the cool liquid could quell my anxious heart along with my burning throat.

_God, please let her be okay._

"Ed, man. We really should hurry this up," Emmett says, holding up my pen and paper and wiggling them. I nod for him to continue.

"Okay, like Dad said, the Feds and the U.S. Marshals aren't telling us anything. I think we'd at least like to know what you meant by '_I got her recognized.'_"

He points at my previous note and I nod, handing my water off to my father and replacing the oxygen mask over my face before taking the pen and paper.

I flip to a new sheet and begin.

_**Bella used to be involved in a competitive sport. She was good, too. When we were in Port Angeles the other night, someone recognized her from her sport and asked for her autograph. Then the idiot posted it on the internet.**_

"Her _autograph_?" several voices say on top of each other.

I smirk and underline the words, _**She was good.**_

"What sport?" Mom asks. "She didn't seem the athletic type."

I chuckle and scratch out my response.

_**You'd be surprised. **_

My father's eyebrows draw together. "Care to elaborate?"

I hesitate again.

"She knew CPR," Emmett interjects. "Was she was a swimmer or something?"

My eyes widen at his words and I almost choke on air. As I struggle to clear my throat, it occurs to me that keeping secrets from my family is going to be a lot harder than I thought.

Everything –everything I say, everything I hear– leads my mind straight back to Bella. I can hear her sweet voice in my head even now.

_"He was a swimmer. We met in the dining hall at the National Training Center."_

Realizing I'm being stared at, I shake the memory of that very intimate conversation from my head and flip to a new page.

_**Not a swimmer. **_

I point to Emmett and start a new line.

_** Is it a good idea for me to tell you guys what I know about her? She was worried about that.**_

Emmett scratches his head. "Well, I don't think we can do anymore damage at this point. She's long gone and anyone looking for her will know it. We _are_ sort of, kind of, her family now, so I suppose there's a minimal risk to us. Someone may try to extricate information from us if they think we have it. But nothing you know could possibly lead them to Bella. You were unconscious when she skipped town."

Dad interjects. "Why don't we keep things simple for now? We can go into further detail when you're stronger. Besides, Emmett's right. The hospital would have been instructed to call the lead investigator as soon as you woke up, and that means they'll be arriving any minute."

"Perhaps they will be more forthcoming with information about Bella if Edward cooperates with them," Mom says softly.

Emmett snorts, expressing his doubt, but I nod in hopeful agreement.

A heavy silence settles over the room and Mom and Dad both sit and pull their chairs close to the bed. While I watch them, I suddenly remember something.

I scratch out another note and turn it towards my brother.

_**What happened to the asshat that shot me? Did he die?**_

Emmett laughs. "Dude, I wish. No, soon-to-be-_former _Agent James Wiles was arrested by Forks' Finest and then taken into federal custody later that night. I believe he's being held in Seattle pending charges."

I nod. _**Do they know why he did it? Or how he found us so fast? Or if he was working alone? **_

"I don't know how he got to you so fast," Emmett says, his voice more somber. "That's still being investigated, but from what I've pieced together, Wiles was connected with the organized crime division of the FBI. Even though he wouldn't have been privy to the location of any witnesses, he would have known how to go about uncovering them. So, he was probably hired, bribed, or blackmailed into doing this. It just doesn't make any sense otherwise. And it's also why they took Bella back into protective custody. Until they get some answers from this guy, and until they know who hired him, there are too many unknowns."

Emmett shakes his head, his eyes far away. "You know, the U.S. Marshals who placed Bella here, they were friends of mine. I met Deputies Brandon and Whitlock my rookie year in Seattle."

_**Are they all right?**_

My brother sighs. "They're alive... Out of the two of them, Whitlock got the worst of it. He took his seatbelt off at some point and ended up with a spinal cord injury. He's in critical condition in Seattle right now, but once he's stable, he'll likely be flown to a facility in Denver that specializes in that sort of thing. It'll be a long road for him."

I shake my head and exhale in disgust.

"Yeah, it's a damn shame. Alice is a mess over the whole thing. Her injuries were minor, all things considered, but she's blaming herself for everything. She seems to think she should have been able to see this coming."

I take in his words and an uncomfortable feeling washes over me. I tap his arm and write a note.

_**How do they know Bella's safe if it was an FBI agent that was trying to kill her? **_

"They don't," Emmett says, shaking his head. "That's why nobody's talking. Alice made some sort of arrangements and she's refusing to inform anyone, in any agency anywhere, of Bella's whereabouts. To be honest, she could lose her job over it at some point if she's not careful."

_**But isn't her job to protect Bella no matter what?**_

"Yeah, but bureaucracy is a bitch. Especially when something like this happens. There are a lot of unanswered questions and a lot of people who may get canned, or at the very least forcibly transferred out of their jobs when the dust settles."

I sigh heavily and lay my head back. My father takes the pen and pad out of my hands.

"Rest for a while, Edward."

I nod and close my eyes, albeit reluctantly. I'm exhausted, however, and there's a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach that has nothing to do with the aches and pains I'm starting to feel throughout my body.

I miss Bella, and I'm terrified for her. I can't imagine what she's thinking right now, or how frightened she must be. Everything she was ever scared of, all of her very worst fears, came true yesterday.

_Wait... What day is it? Was it yesterday?_

I open my eyes and turn my head towards my father. He sees and sits forward.

"What is it, son?"

I swallow once and lick my lips. "How long have I been here?"

"Five days. You were brought in on Saturday and it's Thursday now."

My eyes fill with tears almost instantly. I want to feel offended for my own manhood, but the gravity of everything has finally hit me and it's crushing.

_Five days..._

_ You actually flat-lined..._

_ She was taken back into protective custody while you were still being worked on in the emergency room..._

Five days.

Five days since I almost died.

Five days since they took her God-knows-where.

I'm vaguely aware of my father standing and placing both hands on my face. He's looking straight into my eyes and telling me to breathe slowly, to calm down. He asks my mother to call for the nurse. Emmett goes instead and I hear the door slam behind him.

I grab at the mask on my face.

"Edward, stop. You need to calm down."

I shake my head and rip the mask off.

"Does she know!" I gasp.

"Who, son?"

"Bella... Does she know I'm okay? Did anyone tell her?"

Carlisle's eyes fill with understanding and sadness. "I don't know, Edward... We just don't know."

An alarm starts ringing in the background and my father quickly places the oxygen mask back over my face. He instructs my mother to make sure I keep it there and rushes from the room.

It feels like I barely even blink and he's back, along with a whole flock of medical personnel.

My mother leans over me while they work and pleads with me. "Sweetheart, it's okay. Whatever has you so upset, it's okay."

Even as I try to argue with her, I feel myself falling into a haze. I can even feel my heart slowing and my breathing normalizing. I blink slowly and force the words out.

"She'll be so scared. She'll blame herself."

"Bella?"

I nod and feel my eyelids drooping.

My mother's tears spill down her cheeks and she nods knowingly, gripping my hand at the same time.

"We'll do everything we can to get a message to her, Edward. To make sure she's safe. I swear it. Just please, please rest now. We'll be here when you wake up."

It's the last thing I hear before the drugs coursing through my system take me back into the darkness and the silence I've come to know so well.

~(~)~

Sunlight bounces off of her hair, bringing out the rich reds in it and making her look like an angel. She sits back and tilts her face skyward, eyes closed and a serene smile on her face. I've never seen her like this before, with the exception of last night while she slept. Bella looks relaxed, happy... at peace.

The last month or so has been hard, and if anyone would have told me a few days ago that I would be enjoying an easy camaraderie with her, or enjoying a rare sunny afternoon in Port Angeles with her by my side, I would have said they were crazy. Just yesterday things between us were still very tense.

She'd become so silent and withdrawn around me, and I in turn had become hyper-aware of every little move she made; terrified I would do something else wrong and she would deteriorate further. I fully blamed myself for her decline since the night I brought her home from Garrett's bar, and I knew my family did too.

I wasn't even sure why they'd asked me to stay with her, knowing that I'd pushed her to open up and in turn, caused her to shut down. I wasn't sure how they expected me to handle the situation while staying overnight with her, but I guess I handled it well.

I wonder what everyone will think of our little breakthrough this morning?

I hope the change in Bella will be obvious, and that it will remain even after my parents get back from Hawaii. Whatever I've done, whether it was comforting her during her nightmare last night, or getting her out of the house for an afternoon, or simply being upfront and honest with her while we talked today, it seems to have made a huge impact.

I smile at the thought and sneak another glance at her.

She shakes her head a little, causing the rest of her hair to fall down over her back. The words pour out of my mouth before I can stop them.

"Your hair has red in it." I groan internally. _Your hair has red in it?_

"So does yours," Bella says simply, opening one eye with a smile.

I laugh, feeling relieved. "I believe I have heard that before."

She snickers quietly in response and opens her eyes to look at me a moment before turning her head toward the water. She takes it all in while I observe her as surreptitiously as possible. I know there's still something very wrong about the way I feel when I'm around her. At the same time, it feels so right.

Not for the first time, I wish that we'd been born a few years closer together. I want to throttle myself in the next breath for thinking that way, because she would still be my parent's foster child and potentially my next sibling, were that the case.

I shudder at the thought and try to pay attention to the burgeoning sunset in front of us instead.

It's nice, but it doesn't hold a candle to Bella.

She shifts a bit. I snap my eyes ahead.

"May I ask you a question?" she asks then.

"Of course," I say.

"What did you do when you were in the Navy?"

I can't help but laugh when I notice the apparent trigger of her curiosity; a two-hundred twenty foot Coast Guard cutter.

"That's a Coast Guard vessel, Bella. Navy are grey."

She looks at me like I'm a lunatic. "Um, thanks there genius. I did see that. The bold writing on the side sort of gave it away."

I laugh loudly.

She's so unexpected. The more I think I know her, the more I realize I don't know anything. She never does or says what I think she will. Even in light of her little shut down this last month, she's nothing like most of my students; predictable, self-absorbed, unobservant.

I consider her original question.

What would she think of my Navy days? I mean, she knows me now. She has no idea that I was a skinny, awkward kid when I left for basic training. She wouldn't respect me if she knew I was just running from my problems and willing to take any job they would give me if it meant I got to get away.

But then... _maybe if I open up to her first?_

I sigh and decide to go for it.

"I was a Boatswain's Mate, which is basically a glorified maintenance man. We did all kinds of stuff, anything necessary to keep our ship up to regulation every day." I swallow and go for the gold, putting it all out there. "Painting was somewhat of a specialty of mine."

She whips her head around to look at me, her eyes disbelieving. "Painting?" she gasps. I'm not surprised.

"Yeah," I answer, laughing nervously. "Apparently the proper use of a drop-cloth is a highly coveted skill in enlisted men."

She gapes at me, her mouth open in a perfect "O." I look away and pull my hands through my hair. I'm both embarrassed by her reaction, and desperately trying to avoid staring at her pretty pink mouth.

"Not what you imagined, huh?" I ask, keeping my eyes averted.

"Not really, no," she admits softly. "But that's okay."

"It's lame, I know," I answer. "I went in hoping to do something cool like work on an air-craft carrier, or maybe become a pilot someday. I just didn't stay in long enough, or go to college first."

She nods and smiles, turning her face back towards the water. She seems to close her eyes automatically, once again lifting her chin towards its rays.

"You like the sun, don't you?" I ask, watching her.

"Very much. Do you?" she answers without open her eyes.

"I do," I reply. "The _Roosevelt_, that's the ship I was stationed on, was homeported in Florida. You know, the Sunshine State and all that."

"Do you miss it?"

"Sometimes. I missed my family more."

Then I really let loose and share things with Bella I've rarely told anyone else. Not even my brother, my best friend, knows some of what I'm expressing. Perhaps it's simply because I figure that Bella can relate. I know our situations are vastly different, but I my parents both died, too.

Of course, by the end of the conversation she reminds me that her folks had their lives stolen from them in what I can only assume was an act of violence. Her tears break me and I comfort her the only way I know how, offering her words of hope for a better future than the present situation she's been dealt.

"Even if you never look at your own experience the way I look at mine," I tell her. "You can be happy again. Just give it some time."

Hearing her cry causes my arms to ache with want. I so much wish I could just hold her and make it all go away, but I know I can't. And I shouldn't. It's highly inappropriate for me to express my care for her in that way and I know it's more than she's comfortable with as well. As much as it pains me to, I put the thought out of my mind and sit next to her until she shivers in the cool evening air.

"Come on," I say softly, hoping to rouse her from her thoughts gently. "Let's get back to the theater. Do you like popcorn?"

~(~)~

"Is he muttering about popcorn?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"Think he's dreaming about her again?"

"I don't know. It's possible. He got really attached to her."

"That's obvious, Em. What I don't get though, is all that awkwardness the last month or so. I mean, I was almost afraid to leave them alone last week." There's a sigh. "Maybe I shouldn't have. If I'd taken Bella to Seattle with me..."

"Then it might have been you in that bed instead of Edward, Tor."

_Tor... Tori... Victoria... _

"Edward...? I'm here."

I feel a hand on mine.

"Shit, you think we woke him up? He's supposed to be sedated. Dad'll kill me if they come back from the hotel and find out Edward was up again tonight."

"Shh... he's still out. Mostly."

My eyes flutter open for just a moment and I see her. My baby sister. The spitting image of my birth mother as I remember her –dark red hair, blue-green eyes, sad smile.

I feel her take my hand in hers.

"Sleep, big brother. We're here."

I nod a little and try to force my lips into a smile. I don't want them to worry about me, but I'm tired and not truly wanting to wake.

So I do the only thing I can. I left myself sleep and I dream of Bella.

~(~)~

She looks like the proverbial deer in headlights, completely frozen and unable to move. Bella's tried everything to get this guy to take a hint and leave her alone, but he's not getting it. He's adamant that he knows her and that he wants an autograph.

I mean, _autograph?_

Who is _Isabella Swan_? And why would someone stop her in public like this anyway? Okay, so I did hear him mention something about the Olympics, and shooting, maybe? But whether or not he has the right person, is he not aware that he's making the girl in front of him obviously uncomfortable. Does he not see that people are staring?

People are _staring._

The gravity of that hits me as I remember a conversation with a certain U.S. Marshal last month, as well as several conversations with my brother and parents. This isn't good.

Breaking out of the confused stupor I've been in, I go to Bella's rescue. She's still arguing that she's not who they think she is, unaware of the full scope of the attention she's receiving.

I step close to her back and lower my head to her ear.

"It's just an autograph," I murmur. "Give the man what he wants and let's get out of here."

Her head whips around and she looks at me in shock. I glance around purposefully with my eyes, and she follows my gaze. I see her confused expression alight with growing horror. Only now noticing the gathering crowd, her body trembles lightly as she takes in the number of eyes on her.

She takes a deep breath and turns back to the idiot who started this all, the idiot who looked at me like I'd answered his prayers when I suggested Bella just give him what he wanted. She swallows hard and nods, giving her consent as he hands her a pen and some paper.

I watch, as if in a dream, while Bella's hand maneuvers the pen on the page with practiced ease. She doesn't hesitate over the designation, like I would were I signing another man's name. In fact, she lets out a small sigh, a wistful sound, as the letters appear there in ink.

_Isabella Swan. _

Swan.

Swans.

I jolt with a sudden realization, my wide eyes falling on Bella's profile as she stands frozen in front of me.

She wasn't dreaming about graceful white birds last night. Whatever her dreams or nightmares were, the whispered "swan" I heard must have been in reference to her name. Her real name.

I hear a shuddering breath escape her and I realize now is not the time to dissect this new information. Turning her to me, I ask her what she needs from me. I'd give her anything. Do anything for her.

Does she need me to get her out of the country? I will.

Fortunately, for the time being at least, her request is something much simpler.

"Just get me out of here."

~(~)~

"Edward, did you say something?"

_Tori..._

I feel pressure and warmth lifting from my legs and hear someone clear their throat.

"I think he said he wants to get out of here," a groggy voice says.

_Emmett..._

I hear a sigh and a squeaking sound. "Well, I don't blame him. It's been almost a week."

I inhale somewhat sharply at those words –a reminder of where I am and what's going on. Exhaling slowly, I try to force my eyes open. Once again, it takes less effort than the last attempt, but I'm still tired and it's almost completely dark in the room, so I close them again.

"What time is it?" my brother yawns.

"Five a.m.," Tori answers. "I'm sorry if I woke you. This miserable excuse for a cot is pathetic and what with Edward mumbling in his sleep and all..."

_What mumbling? _

"Yeah, and he usually sleeps like the dead."

"Do you think it's because of the pain, or that he's uncomfortable?"

"I don't know. I sure as hell am, though."

"You want the miserable excuse for a cot?"

"Nah... I'm good here. I'll just go back to the hotel and get a nap anyway when Mom and Dad come back."

"How did you get them to leave anyway?"

"I told Dad I saw Mom almost pass out, and I told Mom that I was worried about Dad's arthritis flaring up because I saw him popping like eight Advil or something."

"Well played," Tori says approvingly.

"I did what I had to."

I hear the television click on, and the sound has me opening my eyes briefly.

"Keep it down, Emmett," Tori whispers.

"And _you_..." she says, reaching for my hand and leaning over my fluttering eyes. "Go back to sleep, okay? That's an order."

I grin and close my eyes. My bossy little sister. Fortunately, she doesn't have to tell me twice. Sleep, I can do. Sleep is easy. Sleep means I get to be with Bella.

I can only pray that maybe we'll know where she is the next time I wake.

~(~)~

* * *

_**I know, I know... where's Bella? Bring back Bella! I hear you, I do. But look at it this way; we can't leave Edward at a time like this, now can we? ;-)**_

_****__**Next update... a week.**_

_**Until then, if you need something to keep you busy, you can go vote for our little Sharpshooter and Wannabe-Stuntdriver in the **Emerging Swan Awards!**  
**_

_**"Arms" is u**__**p for **__Best Bella and Edward__**, and voting is still open until Monday, Sept. 5**__**th**__**. If you're so inclined, you can visit their webpage, here–  
http : / emergingswanawards. blogspot. com / **_

_**Thank you, thank you! -Ginnie  
**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**Thank you to my wonderful Beta, **__SueBee__**, for getting this done for me on short notice. You've been an amazing champion for the story and a consistent source of help to me. I appreciate it so much! **_

_**I'm also exceedingly grateful to everyone reviewing Arms. I know I don't always get around to responding, but as a lot of other fanfiction authors have said before me, it's the only payment I get for this and each one means the world to me. :-) I also want to send a shout out to those who have Tweeted, rec'd and chatted about this story over the proverbial water-cooler. Thank you a million times over!  
**_

* * *

_**Disclaimer:**__** I still do not own Twilight, its characters, or any other copyrighted material. I'm just borrowing. Additionally, I am not a medical professional or a federal agent. I do my research, but if I get something wrong, please don't string me up. ;-)**_

* * *

_From Chapter 12~_

_Sleep, I can do. Sleep is easy. Sleep means I get to be with Bella. _

_ I can only pray that we'll know where she is by the next time I wake. _

* * *

Chapter 13:

___EPOV—_

I'm dreaming again. This time I'm more aware of it. But it doesn't stop me from allowing myself to become completely immersed in the memories.

We're not quite halfway home to Forks when Bella breaks her eerie silence. She's not said a thing to me since leaving the movie theater, and when she finally does, she asks me if I'm angry at her. I have no idea what for, but I assuage her fears immediately.

There's nothing for me to be angry for. Nothing that happened tonight was her fault. She's in an impossible situation.

Even I'm shaken up over it.

I well remember the little talking to I got from the U.S. Deputy Marshal in charge of protecting her. He was clear she'd be taken away from us if I asked too many questions. What would happen now? There was no way I'd let anyone just come and take her against her will, but would it be against her will?

Maybe it would be a relief for her to leave. Not to mention that there's a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that what happened tonight has placed Bella in danger. In which case, it would be in her best interest to leave.

Next to me, I hear a choking sob escape her, and despite my reassurances that I'm not upset with her, Bella completely loses it. Her cries grow inconsolable, and, while I knew it was coming, I'd just hoped she'd hold off until we got home before she did this.

Not that her silence and trembling weren't just as disconcerting as her tears are, but I'd hoped we'd be off of this dark, winding road before she needed me.

Fortunately, the 101 is a path I know well. There are little logging roads and access paths located all along the way. I find one, and being sure to make sure we aren't noticed by any other cars, I pull off.

I don't think twice about getting out of the car and going to her. I open Bella's door and lean in, whispering that it will all be alright, though I have no idea that it will be.

"Bella, sweetheart, it's okay. It's all right and I'm not mad."

She continues to cry.

"You did nothing wrong. You know that, right? And you handled what happened back there so well."

She doesn't seem to hear me at all, and her breaths are coming so fast and so desperately that it's frightening. I take off her seatbelt and pick her up as I would a small child. She barely weighs more than one.

Sitting back down, I pull her into my lap and close the door to shut the rain out. It's a bit cramped, but Bella clings to me, which means there's just enough room for the both of us.

"Bella, please don't cry. You're fine. It's fine."

Her arms go around my neck like she's drowning and I'm the life preserver.

"I've got you," I tell her. "You're okay."

Her grip on me tightens and she responds with a nod into my neck. Her cries continue, but quiet down. Instinctively, I tighten my own hold on her. I want to anchor her against me, make her feel safe.

She exhales a long breath and it goes right to the tiny hairs on my neck, making my body react. Shivers run through me and my lungs contract. Everything changes focus and suddenly, the way I'm holding her in my arms seems completely different.

Surprisingly, Bella's breathing evens out and calms. Mine becomes more frantic. She shifts her head to the side and... the world stops.

Her lips caress my neck.

I moan.

She does it again.

I hold her closer.

She kisses me again and I tremble as a wave of desire like nothing I've felt before rocks through me.

I _want_ her. She has no idea. I want her like I've never wanted anyone, and I know deep down inside that it's not just about sex. Not even close.

I want to kiss her, yes, but I want to comfort her. I want to protect her. I want to help her and heal her. I want to love her, and dote on her, and provide for her. I want to take her away and keep her with me until the sun doesn't rise in the sky anymore. I just _want._

I want everything.

But she's seventeen.

At least, she supposed to be seventeen.

There's some mental confusion over something the idiot from the movie theater said about watching Bella in the 2008 Olympics. She would have been only thirteen during the summer of 2008. I wrack my brain trying to remember if thirteen year olds can compete in the Olympics. And in shooting of all things? Wouldn't that have made some serious headlines?

My reverie is broken by the parting of Bella's lips. I can feel the moisture of her mouth against the skin beneath my jaw.

I groan, _loudly._

"Bella..."

Heaven help me, if she runs her tongue over that spot I'm done for. I'll lean her back and kiss her until she can't breathe anymore. I'll kiss her until we both forget our names and anything else that exists outside of this car.

_Oh, God. She's seventeen, she's seventeen, she's seventeen..._

Mercifully, she also seems to realize what she's doing to me, or at least, she realizes that I'm virtually begging her for a reprieve.

Her lips leave my skin and she releases her hold on my neck. I take a deep, calming breath and loosen my own hold on her. It takes me a few more moments to collect myself, and, when I do, I'm disheartened to see her staring at her lap looking guilty and ashamed.

_Does she always have to blame herself?_

I take her face between my palms and wait for Bella to raise her eyes to mine. I need to communicate to her that she has nothing at all to feel guilty for.

I open my mouth to start to tell her, but my gaze becomes fixated on her mouth and if I loosen my tongue at all, it might end up doing some very forbidden things. I stifle a groan and close my eyes, directing the urge to her forehead instead.

Placing a gentle kiss there, I pull back and run my thumb over her soft, tear stained cheeks. There's so much I want to say, but I can't. I have to get some distance from her first and think.

I find the strength to let her go and get out of the car, placing her back inside and closing the door for her. I get back in the driver's side and restart the engine with a reticent sigh.

"Put your seatbelt on. We need to get you home," I say softly, telling myself the same thing.

I really do need to get her home. At home, we can figure this out. I can figure her out. I can _find _her out.

_Isabella Swan... Who are you? Do I even know you at all? The Olympics? Really? _

Despite my doubts and the seriousness of the situation, my lips quirk into a smile. I never would have imagined that about Bella. At the same time, I'm not at all surprised. Everything about her has always screamed extraordinary, phenomenal, and accomplished.

I'm definitely going to be finding out just how accomplished she is as soon as humanly possible.

By the time we get home, Bella seems better, but still uncomfortable. I tread carefully. I don't know the right thing to do or say at this point. I need more information first, but I don't think she's up for giving me the answers just yet. I stand in the foyer, hoping she'll speak first. She does.

"I'm going to go take a shower and go to bed. I have to call Jasper first, but..."

"Will you let me know what he tells you?" I ask. Obviously, I'm concerned about the outcome of tonight's events.

She nods. "Of course."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I'll be in the study," I tell her.

What I really mean is... _I'll be on Google_.

~(~)~(~)~

"Okay, did he just say something about Google?"

Emmett's voice rouses me from my dream.

I hear the delicate feminine laughter of my mother. "It sounded like it."

"I'm telling you, Mom, he's been like this all night."

"Hmm... He mentioned _Isa_bella a couple times."

"Yeah, I noticed that, too."

"She does seem more like an Isabella, don't you think?" Mom asks thoughtfully, her voice curious. I can picture her trying to figure everything out. She sighs. "It makes sense that she would have preferred being called Bella if she was really an Isabella, and not an Anna Bella."

"Yeah. I guess so." Emmett yawns. "Where's Dad? Didn't he come back with you?"

"Yes. Your father's talking to the physician on duty."

"Cool. Do you mind if, after Tori gets back with breakfast, I head to the hotel to sleep?"

"No, of course not, sweetheart. Thank you, by the way, for getting the hotel room for us. You were right, we really did need a good night's sleep in an actual bed. It's been a long week."

"I don't know why you haven't been home. It's really not that far, Mom."

"Things were too unstable here."

I lift one eye open and see Mom watching me even as she speaks to Emmett. She smiles at me as my eye closes again just as quickly.

"Hi, baby."

"Hi," I rasp, keeping my eyes still shut tight.

She chuckles. "It's okay if you want to go back to sleep. Someone will be in here to poke and prod at you soon enough."

I shake my head and look around the room a little, thinking there's no point going back to sleep if I'm just going to be forced awake again. After a few minutes, however, my mother and brother have both fallen silent, and my eyelids get heavy again.

I don't know how it's possible to want to sleep even more after being in bed for so long, but without the sound of conversation around me to keep my attention, it's easy to let my mind drift to Bella.

At some point, I surrender to my fatigue and dream of her again.

~(~)~(~)~

She's real.

_Isabella Swan. _

She's real, and she's Bella, and she's... not seventeen.

I stare at the date on the screen again.

_She's not seventeen._

I feel the words as they pass through my lips, but they're drowned out by the pounding of my heart. I can hear my pulse in my ears and my breaths are coming in pants.

I may be having a heart attack.

Or... I may have just had the equivalent of a ten-thousand pound weight lifted off of my shoulders.

_She's not seventeen. _

I feel like I can actually breathe again for the first time in almost six months, and before I even know what I'm doing, I've ripped the page I found on the web out of the printer tray and began taking the stairs two at a time.

I don't have a plan. I don't know what the hell I'm going to say, but I know I have to see Bella. I have to at the very least confirm this information. I'm helpless to stop the hope that's blossomed in my heart after seeing her face, her name, her age. I know I'll be crushed if it's all wrong, but it can't be. Can it?

I mean... I Googled it. It was on Wikipedia.

My feet slow as I reach the top of the stairs, some of my enthusiasm wavering. Wikipedia is crap and I know it.

My only comfort is that one of the sources sighted on the 2008 Beijing Olympics Wiki page was a CNN article that led me to an archived PDF of a USA Shooting publication that seemed very legit.

Still, I'm not sure what I planned to do with this information regarding Isabella Swan, and since I can hear the sound of a hairdryer coming through Bella's door, I sit down on the top step and take some deep breaths.

Eventually, my eyes wander back to the paper in my hand.

**Athlete:** _**Isabella Swan**_**  
Date of Birth: **_**September 13, 1988**_**  
Birthplace: **_**Phoenix, Arizona**_**  
Hometown: **_**Mesa, Arizona  
**_** Events: **_**Women's 10m Air Rifle, Women's 50m Rifle Three Position**_

"Three position... Now I know what the hell the idiot from the movie theater was talking about."

My eyes skim over the hefty list of medals, awards and accomplishments next to Bella's name. I shake my head, a small smile gracing my lips as I read: _2008 Olympian -Gold Medalist (Women's 10M Air Rifle)_. The line is followed by another: _2008 Olympian -10__th__ Place (Women's 50M Three-Position._)

It goes on and on—a national championship, World Cups, a few NCAA titles. I'm overwhelmed.

I stare off into space and try to picture Bella firing a rifle. It's not an image consistent with the quiet, withdrawn girl I've known. But then, there were some very small girls back in the Navy who were responsible for some very big guns.

Hoping it might help with the images in my head, I allow myself to look down and study Bella's picture in detail for the first time.

There's little room to deny that it's her despite the slightly lighter shade of her hair. She's the same, and yet different. She looks happier, more self-assured, and definitely younger. Or maybe it's just that she looks lighter and more carefree.

Her long hair almost obscures the sponsor names embroidered on her dark blue USA Shooting jacket. The blue is a nice contrast against her pale skin, while the red in the American flag hanging behind her brings out the slight flush of her cheeks. There's a twinkle in her eye as well –one I've never seen before.

I find myself feeling a little choked up when I think of all the reasons why that is. Below the hefty list of medals, awards and accomplishments to Isabella Swan's credit, there is a short biography. It's obviously no longer current, but speaks volumes of the life she lost.

-~- _Bella Swan is a Resident Athlete at the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs. Though she is right handed, Bella favors her left when shooting. In addition to air-rifle, she is also skilled with a sport pistol and has medaled in several regional contests in that event. _

_ Bella was first instructed in the use of a firearm at an early age by her father, a police officer in her hometown of Phoenix, Arizona. He remained her shooting coach until she was selected for the National Team in 2006, but still remains actively involved in her career. Bella openly admits he's her best friend. _

_ Though she remains busy with school and her sport, in her free time Bella enjoys reading, tutoring younger readers, cooking with her mother, and playing games like chess, dominos, and Scrabble. -~-_

The sound of Bella's muted voice coming through her closed door pulls me from my reading. I listen for a moment and realize she's on the phone.

I wonder how long I've been sitting here staring at her picture. How much time has passed while the lines written on the page in front of me began to fill in the gaps of what I know of this girl, and what I don't?

Somehow, impossibly, those three small paragraphs have brought her to life for me. I feel like I may finally be beginning to understand her. Who she is, and more importantly, who she isn't. There are still so many questions though.

As my eyes flit back to the top of the page, I am still reeling with the idea that she _isn't_ seventeen.

Nervousness takes a hold of my gut, and some seriously girly butterflies tickle my stomach. Despite that, I stand on surprisingly steady legs and walk towards her room. It's silent now, and I just hope she's not fallen asleep because we need to talk.

And I have a feeling that some of what needs to be said between us really can't wait for the morning.

I knock quietly at first, then, as my eyes fall to her bio again.

I knock louder.

_Knock, knock, knock..._

~(~)~(~)~

_Knock, knock, knock..._

"Oh, for the love of... Tori, will you get that?"

"That can't be anyone from the hospital. They would know better, this is critical care for crying out loud."

"Can I help you?" I hear my sister hiss. I chuckle and force my eyes open.

It takes a little effort, but it's nothing like the last few times I tried to do the same. The heaviness is lifting.

"Hello, sweetheart," my mom whispers. I smile at her and turn my head as Tori's voice sounds again, obviously annoyed.

"Well, he's still sleeping. Or he _was_ until you started pounding on the door. The door that, by the way, has a sign." I hear tapping against wood. "See? 'Please do not disturb. Patient resting.'"

"Our apologies, Miss Cullen, but were informed that he should be awake this morning. We need to speak with him."

My father sighs and stands, I see him out of the corner of my eye. "I'll take care of this. I'm sorry, Edward."

I shrug. While I do know where I am, and what happened to land me here, I have no clue who is at the door or what they want with me.

Mom leans over me and offers me a cup and straw. "Thirsty? It's ice water."

I nod and take the straw into my mouth.

My father exchanges some hushed words with whoever is at the door. I can't see behind the curtain pulled around it.

Mom shakes her head. "It figures they would come back just when your brother leaves to rest. He'll be pissed."

I almost choke at my mother's language and pull back from the cup she's holding for me.

"Sorry," she says, dabbing at my chin with a napkin. I take it from her. "How are you feeling now?" she asks.

I inhale a deep breath and then exhale, assessing what my body is telling me. My mind is surprisingly clear; I can even remember what I was just dreaming about, right down to the moment when I realized the knocking sound I heard wasn't my dream anymore. As I continue to breathe, there's a deep aching feeling coming from my left shoulder and my lower back hurts a little, but other than that...

"I'm okay," I say. My voice is rough, barely more than a whisper.

"Are you in any pain?"

I inhale again, slowly, and reach up to touch my shoulder. I touch it lightly and wince a little.

"Some."

"We'll let the nurses know."

"Who's at the door?" I rasp, lifting my chin that way.

Mom frowns. "The FBI. They want your statement so they can move things along in the case against the man who shot you.

"He was after Bella."

"I know, honey."

"Any word on her, Mom?"

She sighs and gives me a wary look. "No," she says hesitantly, watching for my reaction.

"I'm not going to freak out," I say, vaguely remembering the panic attack I experienced when I first realized how long it had been since I last saw Bella. "I just need to know. At some point soon, I need to know where she is. That she's okay."

"I understand. I feel the same way," Mom whispers, trying and failing to control her emotions. While I know for certain she doesn't feel exactly the same way I do, I know she loves Bella in her own way.

When the curtain in front of the door slides back, she wipes at her eyes frantically.

"Esme? Love, what is it?" Dad asks.

She shakes her head and waves him off, turning her back to the room to wipe her eyes.

He looks concerned, but joins me at my bedside. I notice Tori walking up behind him.

"Edward, it's good to see you awake," Dad says.

"Yeah, Ed," Tori adds, smiling mischievously. "You scared the living crap out of everyone. What gives?"

I chuckle, wincing when the movement causes some discomfort. I smile anyway. "What can I say? I guess since I never saw any action while I was in the Navy..."

She inhales a laugh, even as her bottom lip quivers and her eyes flood with tears.

"You big idiot! How can you even joke about that?"

I smile apologetically at her and Dad wraps an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to rub her arm.

"I'm sorry, Tor," I say softly. "I wasn't trying to get hurt."

She nods and sniffles. "Yeah, sure. Just don't ever do it again."

"I'll try not to," I laugh. This time I hiss at the pain. "Okay, that hurts."

Dad removes his arms from Tori and clears his throat. "The attending physician is already on his way in to check you out. After that the nurse will be able to give you some pain meds."

I nod. "Okay."

"In the meantime... How are you feeling?" he asks, leaning forward to exam me for himself.

I sigh. "Okay. Some pain. Still a little tired. Hungry, but not. Does that make any sense?"

"It does," he says, putting his personal stethoscope in his ears. "Just breathe normally."

I do and watch his face as he does his thing. It's kind of odd to see him from this angle.

"The bullet did a real number on your shoulder, son. You may require more surgery and physical therapy at some point, but it's still too early to tell. Additionally, you lost a lot of blood when you were shot. There were some serious complications from that, which is why you were in ICU until yesterday and also why we sedated you last night. There is an increased risk of blood clots until you're up and mobile again, and unfortunately, your kidney function was compromised as well, so you'll be watched very closely until that resolves itself."

I nod as he speaks. I understand most of what he saying. I have questions, but they can wait. It obvious my father has more to say.

"That said," he smiles sadly, removing his stethoscope from his ears, "Like Emmett told you yesterday, there are still people who want to speak to you. Do you think you're up for it?"

I nod. "Yes, as long as they give me some answers in return."

Dad smiles wearily. "Well, good luck with that. However, I'm not allowing anyone to interview you until the physician on record agrees that you're stable enough anyway. Okay?"

"Sure. Thanks, Dad."

"I'd tell you anytime, but I'd rather not repeat this experience again as long as I live."

"Me either," I smile tightly. I reach up and tentatively feel for the wound on my shoulder.

"It's healing nicely," Dad comments. "You have some staples that will come out in a couple of days. The incision was about five inches long and ran from here," he points to his own shoulder and draws a line, "...to here."

Tori shudders. "Um, Dad, you're grossing me out."

He chuckles and lowers his arm. "Sorry, sweetheart."

I press lightly against the hospital gown and gauze beneath it. I don't have time to ask any more questions, however, because there's a polite knock on the door a moment before it opens.

Two men and a young woman walk in. My father and sister move aside to allow them near the bed. The girl I remember, she's the girl with the light-blue eyes who ripped the tape off my face yesterday when they took me off the ventilator.

She has a thermometer in one hand and a small plastic pitcher of what I assume is more ice water in the other. The taller of the two men, the one in the scrubs, follows behind her and goes straight to the panel of machines behind my bed, pressing a button before smiling at me and then the rest of my family. I feel the blood pressure cuff on my good arm inflate.

The other man, presumably my doctor, is reading a chart and looking over the monitors, ignoring the rest of us altogether. I find myself wondering if my father does that when he tends to patients, and I shoot him a questioning look. He shrugs.

The tall guy in the scrubs moves to my bedside and checks my IV line, or rather both IV lines coming out of my arm. The girl asks me to open up and places the thermometer in my mouth.

"So, Edward, I'm Jake, I'll be your day nurse. That's Angie, she'll be your nurse tech."

I nod. A moment or two later the thermometer beeps and Angie takes it back.

"98.9, pretty good," she smiles.

Jake writes it down on a notepad and then looks back at me. "How's your pain this morning?"

"Uh, it's painful."

He smiles and nods. "On a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst–"

"Six," I answer, not needing him to explain the scale they use.

"Very good."

"Excuse me?" my sister speaks up from across the room. I turn my head to find her staring at the nurse with an eyebrow arched and her arms crossed over her chest.

Jake chuckles. "Okay, it's not good, but I just meant that I'm glad he's not in extreme pain. Don't worry. We'll get him down to a zero in a couple minutes."

The doctor clears his throat and we all turn our attention to him. He hands my chart over the bed to Jake and then smiles.

"Good morning, everyone. Edward, I apologize for not introducing myself right away, but you are sort of our priority patient at the moment. I was doing my due diligence." He chuckles and crosses his arms. "I have all but a court order from a judge forbidding me to let you die."

"Very funny, Eleazar," my father says, clearly not amused.

"Well, I try, Carlisle."

"Edward, this is Dr. Denali."

"Nice to meet you," I say out of habit. Truthfully, I'd rather not have met him. At least not like this.

His smile tells me he knows what I'm thinking. He shakes my hand anyway.

"You, too. I hear you're quite the hero."

I shake my head. "No, not really. I was an idiot." I didn't feel like filling anyone in on the exact details at the moment though.

"Edward..." Mom protests.

"Esme," Dad says, stopping her. He takes her hand and pulls her in front of him, then wraps his arms around her from behind and whispers something in her ear.

The sight of them like that makes my heart hurt. I look away and try not to think of the fact that Bella's been taken from us... from _me_.

Dr. Denali clears his throat. "So, I imagine your father gave you a run-down of your injuries already?"

I take a breath, collecting myself before answering. "Only my shoulder, and something about my kidneys."

"Yes, in cases of extreme blood loss like yours, kidney function can be severely compromised. The bullet that penetrated your shoulder nicked your left Subclavian artery, which I may or may not need to tell you, is a major artery. You lost almost 50% of your blood volume and required extraordinary measures to save your life, including rapid infusion of donor blood and other intravenous fluids. Unfortunately, in some patients, the sudden reintroduction of large amounts of fluids can put a strain on the kidneys, and you ended up being one of those patients."

"Am I okay now?"

Dr. Denali places a hand on my good shoulder. "You're on your way back, Edward. With any luck, you'll be out of the CCU by tonight."

"Is that too soon?" my mother asks.

"His blood work will tell us," Dr. Denali answers. "Which means... the only bad news I have for you at this point is that I have no reason to deny the agents investigating your case an interview with you. I'll have to send them in just as soon as we get some blood taken and get you some pain meds."

My father raises a hand up to object to something.

"Not in that order of course, Carlisle," Dr. Denali says, waving him off before turning to Jake. "Go ahead with the oral dosage we discussed, every four hours. It's on his chart. Also, get another kidney panel on him."

"Sure thing, Doctor," he says. He turns to me with a big grin. "I'll be back in a few."

I nod, slightly afraid of his enthusiasm, and then he and Angie excuse themselves from the room.

Dr. Denali waits until they're gone before speaking again. "Do you have any questions for me?"

I shake my head. "No, I'm just tired again... and a little hungry... and my shoulder hurts."

He nods. "Well, that's all perfectly normal. I'll tell Jake you want to eat and he'll get you squared away." He looks at my dad then. "Liquids only until we get his creatinine level back, then soft solids for the first twenty-four hours."

My dad agrees and Dr. Denali leaves the room. Impossibly, I feel completely wiped out by that one little conversation.

By the time Nurse Jake returns, I'm already impossibly drowsy again. He gives me my pain pills and then recites my lunch options while he draws some blood. He takes care of his task quickly, gets my order for chicken broth, lime gelatin, and ginger ale, and then departs.

Mom and Dad make small talk for a little while about the need for more male nurses in health care. The seriousness with which they discuss this makes me smile, and my sister has to bite down on her fist to keep from laughing.

She eventually gets up and joins me on the edge of my bed while Mom and Dad continue to talk. Her smile fades and she gingerly touches the tape holding my IV in place. I can tell there's something on her mind, but it takes her a while before she finally gets up the nerve to say whatever it is she has to say. I'm almost asleep again by the time she gets around to it.

"What happened, Edward? When I left you guys at Mom and Dad's, everything was fine. How did..." She stopped, swallowing hard and biting her lip for a moment. "How did this happen?"

I look at her, for a moment getting a glimpse of the scared, but very angry girl I first met thirteen years ago. My mouth opens to form words, but I'm at a loss at where to start.

She does it for me. "Emmett said you told him she got recognized at the movie theater. That she was some kind of famous athlete?"

I smile weakly. "She..." I stop for a moment, my mind overwhelmed by the emotions that I experience just simply talking about Bella. Tori waits while I gather my thoughts. "She was an Olympian, Tor... She got a gold medal in competitive shooting."

Across the room I hear my mother's quick intake of breath. When I look towards her, she and my father are wearing matching expressions of shock. I realize my pain meds have kicked in and I'm a little... _loose_, for lack of a better descriptor. I probably shouldn't have said that. Or, I don't know... maybe it doesn't matter anymore.

"She won the Women's 50 meter... um, something with a rifle," I continue for the hell of it. "Oh, and she also had a second event and came in like... maybe eleventh? Yeah, or was it ninth?"

"She... won a medal for marksmanship?" my father asks, his voice incredulous. "With a rifle?"

I chuckle lightly. "Apparently."

Tori frowns at me. "You're high."

"I am not."

I get the eye-roll. "Yes, you are."

"I'm not," I insist. "I'm tired and just, I don't know..."

"High."

"Victoria, please," Mom sighs.

I yawn quite suddenly and feel the room spin a bit.

Dad clears his throat. "It probably _is_ the pain medication, son. The dizziness should subside when you've had something to eat."

I nod and he helps lower the head of my bed some. "Rest now. We'll wake you when your lunch arrives."

"Thanks," I say, stifling another yawn. I don't really care about lunch, even though I'm hungry. I don't bother to fight it when my eyelids get heavy, even though I've been asleep for days.

I know who and what I'll see when I close my eyes, and right now, that's so much more appealing than Jello.

~(~)~(~)~

_BPOV–_

_"Again! Another round of epi! Charge to three-sixty! And we need more blood, people! We're losing him!"_

_ "Edward..." _

_ I whimper and try to make my feet move. _

_"Clear!" they shout._

_ "Edward!" _

_ I try to scream, but no sound will come out. _

With a jolt, I wake up, my stomach suddenly feeling as though it's in my throat and my hands flail out to grab on to whatever I can find to steady me. One palm slaps against something cold and hard at my right. _A window_. The other finds something pliable and smooth right in front of me. _A vinyl covered seat?_

"Easy there, Bella..." a mechanically amplified voice says.

I start at the sound. It's too close to my ears.

"You're okay. It's just a bit of turbulence. We've had to navigate around a storm front."

I blink and look around, completely unaware of where I am. Grasping onto the seatback in front of me, I reach up to touch the headset covering my ears. At the same time, my stomach lurches again as the small plane I've suddenly found myself in dips down sharply.

I let out a squeal as the floor shudders beneath me a bit. I clench my eyes shut and try to figure out how I got here. Am I dreaming? Why am I so confused?

"You're okay, Isabella," the voice repeats. I open my eyes and find the owner.

Garrett is seated in front of me on the left side of the plane. The pilot's seat, I presume. My breath starts coming faster as I take in my surroundings.

Vinyl seats, glass dials, and electronic switches. Small windows, narrow doors, and seatbelts with shoulder straps. A blur of motion that could only be a propeller is visible through the front windshield. The hum of an engine is steady and too loud, much more so than the engine of a car or truck.

My head turns to the side almost without my permission. I'm unable not to look. I stare out the window, stunned. There's nothing there but blue sky and white clouds. Well, mostly white, some are dark grey.

I look away, down at my feet. I'm now shaking and breathing too fast. I've never been afraid of flying, but then, I've never flown quite like this before. My heart is pounding. I don't even know how I got here.

It takes a few minutes to calm myself enough to try to remember. My mind struggles in a way it shouldn't. I can't think clearly and get frustrated as the memories come together out of order and disjointed. Then suddenly...

I remember.

I remember Edward.

I remember him getting shot while trying to save me. I remember rushing him to the hospital and what happened after.

"Oh, God..."

My heart starts racing again, faster now, and angry tears fill my eyes. The confusion seems to wash away with them.

I remember passing out in Kate's arms when his heart stopped. I remember waking up in an SUV and screaming for Garrett to turn around. I remember arriving at a marina on the other side of Sequim and panicking with the realization that he really meant to take me away while Edward was fighting for his life, or worse.

I remember begging... crying... shouting. I remember slapping Garrett after he picked me up and carried me onto his boat. I remember Kate's distressed plea for me to cooperate, and her husband's veiled threat that he would force me to cooperate if he had to.

He must have done just that. Now the question is...

_Where are we?_

~(~)~(~)~

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_**Bella will be back with more next week. I know... other than some lovely Edward memories, there was not a lot of forward motion in this chapter, but hang in there with me. Please?  
**_

_**-Ginnie **_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Hello! Happy Monday! (Well, happy Monday for this author, not necessarily for our characters just yet.) **_

_**Arms **__**WON**__** an **Emerging Swan Award** for "Best Bella & Edward"**__**! ! ! ! ! !  
**_

_**I just want to say thank you so much for voting this story, out of all the amazing stories out there! I cannot express my gratitude enough as this is my very first win ever! I'm beyond humbled! Thank you, thank you, thank you!**_

**_On another note:_**_** I'm issuing a pretty big tissue warning the following chapter. We're back with Bella, so it's going to be a bit rocky for a little while. Hang in there and please, give **__SueBee0619__** a high five for keeping her stuff together long enough to beta this! ;-)  
**_

* * *

_****__**Disclaimer:**__** I still do not own Twilight, its characters, or any other copyrighted material. I'm just borrowing. Additionally, I am not a certifed pilot, or anything even close. I did my research once again, but if I get something wrong down below, please don't string me up. **_

* * *

Chapter 14:

_BPOV–_

_Where are we?_

With wet cheeks and trembling hands, I look up at the back of Garrett's head and glare.

"Where are we?" I demand.

He doesn't answer and I grit my teeth together.

"Did you drug me?" I yell.

He still doesn't respond and I realize now that my voice is getting lost in the din of noise caused by the engine and propeller. I notice a small microphone attached to the headset over my ears and reach up to feel for a button or something. I find it and press it.

"Did you drug me?"

Garrett turns slightly and looks over his shoulder at me. He raises a finger to the button on his own headset, faces front again and answers, "You gave me no choice. You were hysterical."

"How could you?" I say, choking on a furious sob. "I told you I didn't want this. That I don't want to do this anymore! I don't care what happens to me. I'm done with all of it!"

He sighs into the microphone. "And I told you, that's not something you get a say in right now."

I shake my head, tears falling, my chest burning with the restraint it takes not to become hysterical again. I glance around the cabin furtively, maybe even looking for a parachute or some other means of escape. Instead, I realize that something, or rather someone, is missing.

"Where's Kate?" I ask, reaching up to press the headset again.

Garrett adjusts something on the console and then presses his own button. "She's probably at the bar right now. She took the boat back to Sequim. Somebody's got to hold down the fort while I'm gone. She knows the drill."

"You're really good at leaving people behind, aren't you?" I say disgustedly.

Garrett says nothing in response, so I stare unseeing out the window for a long time. Eventually, I try again.

"Where are we?"

Garrett takes a while to answer. "We're over the Rocky Mountains. About to land and refuel in Montana."

"Where in Montana?"

"A tiny town you probably never heard of."

"Well, why Montana?" I ask instead.

"I didn't want to deal with the paperwork needed to land in Canada."

"Canada?"

Garrett says nothing else and I stay silent for a while, watching nervously out the window.

"Where is our final destination?"

Garrett takes a moment, but then I see him lift his hand to his head set again.

"Alaska."

I frown in confusion.

"Why didn't you just fly straight there?"

Garrett looks over his shoulder, his expression neutral bordering on annoyed.

"Because I didn't want the government tracking my plane and leading them right to us. I happen to own a second floatplane in Tahoe that the FAA knows nothing about, so I took a detour. I knew this baby would come in handy one day."

He pats the console fondly while I try to remember what happened. I vaguely remember his boat pulling up to a long dock and seeing a seaplane on the other side. It was blue and white and I'd panicked when it came into view.

That must have been when he drugged me because the plane we are in now is red and black on the outside.

"How long was I out for?" I ask after a long silence. I feel the plane start to descend and my ears adjust accordingly.

"Three hours or so the first time. I re-dosed you in Tahoe though, so about six and a half hours total."

I inhale a gasp. "What time is it?"

"Just before six Pacific standard time. The sun will be setting soon."

I look to the right and, sure enough, the sun is dipping down, creating a brilliant glare over the tops of the white clouds. It should be beautiful, but I find it ominous. It could signify so many things. Is the sun setting over Edward's life now as well? Has it already gone down?

The feeling of panic returns to me then. Anguish claws at me. Fear, rage, pain... blinding and debilitating pain. I press my hand against my chest. It hurts. My heart beats loudly inside it, mocking the memory stuck inside my head.

_"Again! Another round of epi! Charge to three-sixty!"_

A long, steady beep echoes too loudly in my ears.

_ "We're losing him!"_

Chaotic sights and sounds fill my mind. I can't breathe. My eyes burn. I close them, but it won't change what comes next.

_"Clear!"_

A body once so mesmerizing to me —once so beautiful and so strong— contorts and jolts unnaturally. Arms that once held me tight, anchoring me, fall lifelessly off the table. A face, once the object of my dreams, now haunts my waking nightmare.

It won't go away. It won't shut off. The feelings come again now—anguish, fear, rage, pain, anguish, fear, rage, pain. They blend together, an endless cycle of hurt. Tears fall, but they do not ease the ache. My mind is stuck reliving the horror of the worst moment of my life.

A thought that brings everything to a grinding halt.

_The worst day of my life._

I watched my parents bleed to death in front of me. I buried them. Put them in the ground and then went into hiding. But this? This is somehow worse.

Perhaps it's a cumulative effect. Perhaps it's because I can well imagine what it would be like to suffer the loss of another person I love on top of everything else.

Despite all I've been through, despite the horror of seeing both my parents die in front of me, or the shock and guilt of killing a man myself, it's this—the oppressive and almost suffocating fear, dread and uncertainty I feel—that will break me.

I don't know whether I need to hang on for dear life and fight my way back to the one thing I have left in the world to hang on to, or to let myself shatter completely because I've already lost him.

Stuck in limbo, I am aware of very little as the clouds fly by. They disappear at some point, but it's only when my body shivers and I take notice of Garrett wrapping a coat around me, that I realize we've landed. My eyes struggle to focus on his face as he slips a ball cap over my head and tucks my hair underneath.

It's nearly dark wherever it is we've landed, making it difficult to determine my surroundings. It doesn't help that my eyes are swollen and blurry from all the crying I've done. Garrett helps me out of the plane and onto a small, rickety dock that seems to be the only manmade structure within sight. There's not even a shack at the end of it. No buildings further up on shore. No nothing –only acres and acres of water surrounded by trees and mountains all around.

I see the snow left on the peaks of some of them and it only adds to the chilling dread I feel. Turning to Garrett, I try to form the words bouncing through my head.

He seems to anticipate my question and begins explaining the dock is a private one, used by the owner during the summer months. He rents out the extra slips and offers refueling service several times a week. Apparently, Garrett radioed ahead and got him to agree to meet us for a hefty fee.

After walking me to dry ground, Garrett returns to the plane to secure it. A few minutes later, the sound of a diesel engine reaches my ears. Several minutes after that, our plane is being refueled.

I stand numb through it all.

I stay numb even when Garrett tells me we're riding into town to spend the night in a motel. It doesn't occur to me until we pass the first vestiges of civilization that there will be a phone there. Quite suddenly, the numbness recedes and is replaced with anxious anticipation and a good amount of fear. I'm afraid to even ask. Afraid to be told no. And even more afraid that I'll be told yes only to find out that the one thing I'm most afraid of has happened.

"Not tonight," Garrett says roughly. My hand hovers over the receiver of a plain black phone. It sits on a nightstand between two double beds, an alarm clock next to it.

"Please..." My voice cracks over the word.

"We can call in the morning. Not before then."

My legs feel like they're going to give out on me. I sit heavily on the bed closest to me, my eyes stinging. "Please. I need to know."

He shakes his head. "It won't change anything. I know this is hard, but–"

"You don't know crap," I growl, my voice more of a gasp. I'm losing control of my emotions again. Anger, fear, desperation, heartache, guilt, pain... anger. Anger...

"Call the hospital, Garrett! I need to know what happened after we left."

"No."

"I'm not asking you."

He laughs hollowly. "I see Her Fiestiness has returned. Good. You had me worried for a while."

I glare and pick up the phone. I manage to dial nine plus the first four digits of Esme's cell phone number before he gets to me. He yanks the phone off the desk, tearing the cord out of the wall. I stand in response and make for the door.

"Dammit, Isabella! This isn't a game."

He blocks my path and grabs my shoulders. I bite my lip and try to keep from falling apart. We've been around this bush before and I know I'll lose. I just want him to do this one thing for me.

"Why the hell do you care what happens to me?" I sob. "If knowing what happened to Edward is more important to me than my own safety, why does it matter to you?"

Sighing, he backs me up and sits me on the bed. "You are my responsibility, and a very good friend of mine entrusted you to me. Now, I'd rather be back at my bar, in all honesty. But it is what it is, and I _am_ going to do this right."

I'm crying too hard to answer, or even beg him once again to reconsider, although I'm fairly sure that a pathetic _please_ escapes me one last time because he apologizes before telling me to try and get some sleep.

Sleep never comes though. At some point my head finds a pillow, but my eyes remain fixed on the fuzzy digits of the alarm clock for hours. It goes off at half past five, and I sit up before Garrett's eyes open.

He takes his sweet-ass time in the bathroom before putting his boots on and sitting back down next to the phone.

His eyes are stern already. "Now, listen to me. Not a word out of you. Let me do the talking."

I nod, but say nothing. I'm quite literally holding my breath in anticipation.

The seconds seem to crawl by at a snail's pace. Finally, he has the hospital on the line.

"Yes, hello. I'm looking for some patient information. Yes, I can hold. Thank you."

He waits. I feel my heart flip-flop and my stomach clench.

"Hi, I'm hoping to get some updated info on a patient there. Thanks. Yes, his name is Edward Cullen."

Nausea builds, tears threaten.

"Yes. Uh, huh..." He sighs and looks at me nervously.

I feel my chest heaving. _Please, please, please..._

Garrett frowns. "Of course. I understand. I'm actually his cousin, I don't know if that counts."

I furrow my brow in confusion momentarily before realizing that they must have told him they can only talk to family.

"Yeah. No, I get it," Garrett says after a moment. "I just can't seem to get a hold of anyone else in the family and I want to know he's okay. You know?"

The woman's voice on the other line scarcely reaches my ears. "_I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do."_

I feel sick, but Garrett persists which I'm grateful for.

"Can you at least tell me if he's there or not?" There's a pause. "No, of course... I understand. I'll do that, thank you."

The click of the receiver in its cradle echoes through the room. There's a strong possibility that I'm going to be physically ill, never mind that I've eaten nothing during the last twenty-four hours. I leap off of the bed and race for the bathroom. I don't know how long I'm in there before Garrett comes after me. He pulls me up off of the ground and helps me to rinse my mouth before putting me back in my coat and hat.

"It'll be okay, Isabella."

"You don't know that..." I whisper. "You weren't there. You didn't see how..."

Edward's pale, ghostly face invades my mind. The sight of his blood pooled against a leather seat penetrates my consciousness. I try to shake it off, but fail. It stays with me, hovering just in front of all other thought.

Getting back to the plane is a blur. The same gnawing panic I felt while fleeing Washington yesterday returns during take-off. It becomes overwhelming, as do all of my thoughts surrounding Edward, and my mind eventually seems to find some peace in a semi-catatonic state. The rest of our flight is a complete blank and the next thing I know, we're landing again.

The plane circles round a long, wide canal that looks a lot like a huge river nestled between more, even larger, snow covered mountains. Ice is visible on both sides of the channel and what looks like a white river delta is spilling out from one mountainside and into the water. Garrett tells me it's a glacier and points out several more around us. Not that I find the information interesting or reassuring in any way.

I'm not about to start oooing and ahhing over the sight of cold, barren ice. I've always detested the cold and ice and, if anything, my extreme dislike for the environment we're landing in only serves to remind me how much I hated tiny little Forks when I first arrived.

It's somewhat ironic considering I'd give anything to be back there now. To be back in my bed curled up with Edward. Or stuck in his classroom after getting drenched walking between buildings. Or sitting at the Cullen's dining room table, pretending that that I'm not in love with their son. Anything would be better than the situation I find myself in now.

When I find the strength to ask, I learn we've landed in a place called Hyder, Alaska. It's tiny —tiny enough to make Forks look like a bustling metropolis— and while in another circumstance I might find it charming, I feel no small amount of despair when I think of staying here for very long.

Surprisingly, or perhaps not surprisingly, a good number of people in town seem to know Garrett. While they're caught a little off guard by his sudden appearance, they don't think twice about getting him everything he asks for, from fuel and an in-depth weather report, to hot food and a ride to the general store.

I guess fairly quickly that we won't be sticking around for long, because Garrett nearly buys the place out while we're there. I ask about checking on Edward again while his purchases are rung up. Garrett shakes his head, a sad, conciliatory smile on his face. That's all it takes to bring on the tears once more.

I beg. Again. He apologizes. Again.

"Why not?" I ask, feeling antsy while he loads up the truck he's been loaned with our supplies.

It's freezing out, but there's a payphone on the front porch of the general store and I can't seem to keep my eyes off of it.

Garrett looks at the phone and then off into the distance for a moment. "I just don't see the point of risking someone tracing the call here when the hospital isn't going to tell us anything anyway."

"We could try. Or you could call his mother. Or Alice. She contacted you before right? Maybe she knows something."

I shake with each word, my whole body trembling in the frigid air. My fingers and toes ache too, and my nose prickles with each inhale. In contrast, Garrett seems as unaffected by the cold as he is by my words.

"I'll be hearing from Alice in a few days. We'll find out what we can then, Isabella. I'm sorry. I know this is hell for you."

"It's worse than hell, Garrett. Please... Please do this for me?"

"I can't call the hospital again. And it's not like there's an internet café around here or anything." He gestures around the tiny town.

"Maybe we could ask someone if we could use their computer."

He glares at me for a long moment. I continue to shiver in the cold, my entire body convulsing.

"Fine. Come on," he groans.

I follow him without a second thought when he crosses the two lane road—the only road—that passes through town. He marches up to the Glacier Inn, the town's only bar. Once inside, Garrett saunters to the bar and asks to speak with the owner. A burly looking man eventually makes his way from the back. He and Garrett exchange a few words before the man laughs at Garrett and gestures to me.

"Ten minutes. Fifteen tops," Garrett says, producing a fifty dollar bill. A moment later, they shake hands and we follow the man into the kitchen and eventually out the back door of the bar, crossing a muddy lane to get to a trailer home just on the other side.

Several minutes later, after watching Garrett make random, seemingly unrelated searches on Google and Wikipedia, he manages to land on the homepage of the Peninsula Daily News. When it loads, an ordeal in and of itself thanks to the dial-up connection, the "Breaking News" header nearly stops my heart.

*_Update: Shooting victim identified as popular Forks teacher.* _

"That's it. There."

"I see it," Garrett says, clicking the link. He begins reading aloud softly. I follow along at my own pace through watery eyes.

-~-_The victim of a violent shooting in the usually quiet town of Forks yesterday, was identified as 29 year-old Edward Cullen, a longtime resident and popular high school math teacher. Cullen was gunned down outside the home of his parents, Dr. Carlisle and Mrs. Esme Cullen, early Saturday morning. _

_ A Forks resident since he was a boy, Edward Cullen is a graduate of the school he now teaches at and a military veteran, having served four years in the United States Navy before returning home to finish college and better his local community by becoming an educator. _

_ While police are not saying who or what the still unidentified assailant was after, they are telling us that Cullen was injured while trying to protect another member of the household. _

_ Dr. and Mrs. Carlisle Cullen are the current guardians of seventeen year-old Anna Bella Dwyer, who was also home at the time of the shooting. Officials tell us Miss Dwyer was uninjured, but has been placed in protective custody until the incident can be fully investigated. _

_ In the meantime, the Cullen family has asked the community for both privacy regarding the matter and prayers for their son, as Edward's condition remains grave.-~-_

My chest feels tight. "Grave...?"

Garrett looks up at me, obviously waiting for me to fall apart. He won't have to wait long.

"What kind of description is grave! I mean... of course his condition is grave. He was... he was _shot_!"

"I'm sorry, kiddo."

"You're sorry?" I squeal, standing. "I... I can't... Garrett, I can't do this. I can't..." I gasp an inhale. "I can't deal with this."

He sighs. "Look, at least it sounds like he's still alive. Grave is serious, but it's not dead. Not yet anyway."

My breath catches in my throat and I gape at him like he's just kicked the open in wound in my chest, tears blurring my eyes in the process.

He lets out an exasperated noise. "Shit, I'm sorry. Look, sit down. Let's try to check one more place."

He begins clicking away at the keyboard while I try to temper my breathing and stay calm. It's difficult with the combination of fear and frustration I feel. Not to mention the pervasive emptiness that looms on the horizon of my consciousness. It's like an actual entity, lying in wait for me to hear the words that will render me incapable of escaping it.

"Bella?" Garrett's voice startles me.

"Huh?"

"Are you seeing this?"

"What?"

He points to the screen. "There's nothing else there. It's all the same stuff. This one's just an affiliate post on one of Seattle's news media websites."

I nod, agreeing with his assessment despite the protests of my heart. I wonder briefly if he'd let me check for myself, but then he stands and says we need to get going.

The ride back to the dock where we left his plane feels ominous. Again, it's like the emptiness and loneliness that I felt for so long after my parent's deaths is just out there waiting for me. With each leg of our journey, each mile put between Edward and me, it seems to grow. I can feel it pulling at me as Garrett begins unpacking our borrowed pick-up truck and carrying things to the plane.

My ingrained sense of responsibility tells me I should help out, but I can't make my feet move. It's only Garrett's commanding tone that eventually gets my attention and stirs me to action. Still, my heart thumps loudly with each step as I force my body to comply with his order to get in out of the cold.

The sound of my own pulse gets louder the closer I get to the plane. For a long second, maybe even longer than that, I consider turning and running the other way. A couple of things stop me.

For one, it's got to be all of ten degrees outside. And two, in a town with a hundred people, where is there to hide? If I scream for the people here to help me, would they even believe that this man—a man they knew long before I ever came along— is holding me against my will?

Would they help me?

Is there even any reason for them to?

I wince a little at the last one. I'm not exactly sure I want to think about that just yet –about what my life will be like if Edward isn't...

No, I'm definitely not ready to think about that yet.

One foot robotically follows the other until I'm climbing back inside the red and black plane. We're taking off once more before I can get warmed up. I still shiver slightly as the plane reaches altitude. The cabin gets warmer. The plane levels out. Hours pass by.

The entire flight, it feels like the emptiness is chasing us, or chasing me, I guess. Garrett seems oblivious to it, which does nothing to help my ever growing sense of dread. I know this feeling. I've felt it before. And I don't want to feel this way again.

I don't want to go back to this place again. It was bad enough the first time, the void I felt after losing my parents. I never thought anything could be worse than how I existed in the months between when I buried them and when I met the Cullens.

I realize now that I may have been wrong.

"Are you okay?" a mechanically amplified voice says. I start at the sound, focusing my eyes forward. Garrett turns his head slightly, hand lifted to depress the button on his headset. "You're crying," he explains.

I reach up and touch my face. Sure enough, silent tears had been making their way over my cheeks long enough that they're thoroughly wet. Garrett waits for an answer. I shrug and look back out the window, as if I'm trying to see whether or not the void is any closer to swallowing me whole. As if it's a real thing.

What would Garrett say if I asked him to fly faster to escape it? On one hand, he'd likely think I'm nuts, but on the other, it would get a better response than asking him to fly back to Forks.

"I'm fine," I say instead. I'm far from fine. But what else can I say?

Clouds thicken, then thin and part as the plane descends a little. The sun gets my attention, bright but low against the horizon. It's shooting brilliant colors across the sky and landscape beneath it, but I can't seem to find the beauty I would usually see in it. Instead, I look robotically at the rugged setting beneath the sky, an alternating pattern of snowcapped mountains and deep blue waterways.

We continue our descent, dropping down enough to make my ears pop. Garrett reduces our altitude, lower, lower, further, until...

With speed that's honestly quite frightening, we rise over one final mountain and come down the other side like it's rollercoaster or something. At the bottom is another wide strip of water, similar to the large channel we landed on when we arrived in Hyder –only smaller.

The plane skims over the surface of the water, still high enough to keep me from looking straight down, but low enough to make me think we're landing soon. My eyes track along the wooded shoreline to see if I can make out any vestiges of civilization.

Eventually, what seem to be small houses –most with their own docks– begin dotting the shoreline. They are few and far between at first, but then appear more frequently as we go on.

"Pelican, Alaska," Garrett states as a harbor and more buildings come into view. There are quite a few structures as well as a marina filled with fishing vessels. "We're about 90 miles north of Sitka, 100 miles west of Juneau right now."

I nod but don't respond out loud. It's embarrassing to admit that I never gave Alaska any more thought after learning that Juneau was the state capital in the fifth grade. Not only that, but Sitka makes me think of a Disney movie I once saw called _Brother Bear. Brother Bear _makes me think of Emmett for some reason, which makes me think of Edward. Not like I ever really stopped thinking of him. My worry for him invades every other thought.

Several more minutes pass before the rocky shoreline opens up to reveal the wide mouth of a small inlet. Garrett flies lower, turning the plane into the cove and slowing. It's not terribly large, just long enough for him to bring the floatplane in for a landing. There's no dock here, so he steers us towards a small strip of sandy beach. As we get closer, I realize it's not sand at all, but snow.

The engines rev again and the extra power forces the plane up onto the snowy shore. I look around once the engine dies, feeling the despair settle over me as I take in the remoteness of the location and the finality of it all. We're no longer flying, no longer running. Which means there is no more escaping the emptiness that's been chasing me.

I fight against it anyway, knowing Edward wouldn't want me to give in. My parents wouldn't have wanted me to give in either, but I hadn't seen it coming when I lost them. I hadn't felt the fight going out of me. I hadn't felt myself turning into a shell of the girl I'd once been.

But then... for a moment, just for a night, she'd been whole again. And now I know the difference.

Garrett eventually insists I get out of the plane. He helps me down and tells me to put my hat and gloves back on before pointing towards the trees. I nod, letting him know I'd seen the outline of the cabin he says will be our home for the next weeks.

My stomach drops at the word. _Weeks... _

Loaded down with boxes, Garrett leads me through the trees. When we arrive, the place looks almost as desolate as I feel. There is snow on the porch and blown against the door as well. It looks iced over, as if it's been there for some time. Garrett sets his boxes down on a bench off to one side of the door and turns to me.

"I have to turn on the gas around back and get a shovel and broom out of the shed too. I know it's cold out, but we'll get you inside and get you warmed up soon. Will you be okay here for a minute?"

"I'll be... fine." Again, it's a lie. I'm anything but fine. And I won't be fine as long as I'm here.

While I wait for him to return, I look around a little bit. The cabin is nothing fancy, but it's not decrepit either. In another situation, it might even be charming. But in this situation, it's just depressing—like a wooden prison, perhaps just as sparse and hollow on the inside as I'm at risk of becoming.

By the time Garrett comes back, I'm actually a little afraid to see the inside and even more hesitant to go in there. It's like admitting defeat.

And I feel it as I step over the threshold into the cold, dark and stale structure. The acceptance of my fate washes over me. The room itself isn't as empty as I'd feared, but it doesn't really matter. I feel the fight go out of me and the emptiness rise up inside of me.

And as Garrett shows me to the single bedroom in the cabin, the bedroom he's giving to me since he gets the feeling I want nothing more than to be alone, I wonder...

How many times can a person become a shadow of herself and survive it?

* * *

_**Sniff, sniff... :( **_

_**Once again, you have my apologies if the tissues were needed. I'm actually in a bit of shock I've written such angsty fare. I'm really a wuss at heart and had sort of planned on glossing over this portion of the story a bit. But... then you all came along and fell in love with these characters just as much as I did, so... yeah, you get them for a little longer. It's just going to be the full experience now, heart fail and all. See you Friday!**_

_**-Ginnie  
**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Once again, huge tackle-hugs & thank yous to **__SueBee, __**my lovely BetaFairy! She got this back to me in just under 24 hours! Thank you as well for all the Tweets, rec's and reviews from all the readers out there this week! It felt like my inbox exploded at one point. :) Hugs, everyone!**_

_**Disclaimer**__**: I still do not own Twilight, its characters, or any other copyrighted material. I'm just borrowing. Sadly, I'm also just borrowing the seaplane and the cabin. ;-)**_

* * *

Chapter 15:

_BPOV-_

"You need to eat, Isabella."

"I'm not hungry right now."

"You said that this morning and last night."

I sigh. "Just leave it, please. I'll eat when I feel like it."

"Isabella..."

I pull the covers back over my head and pull my knees up to my chest. "Later," I mumble.

"If you don't eat tonight I'm going to hold you down and pour it down your throat, girl. You're too little already to be on a hunger strike."

I say nothing as a single tear slides down my cheek. It's not a hunger strike, I just can't think about food at all right now. The images on a continuous loop in my brain won't allow me to.

I hear Garrett let out a small growl of frustration. "Okay, look... the water heater is up and running. The tank should have had time to heat up by now, so you can have the first shower if you want."

I don't answer right away. He gives up after a moment.

"Fine, but if you change your mind, the bathroom's all yours."

His footsteps retreat towards the door.

"Thank you," I say at the last minute.

"You're welcome," he answers, closing the door behind him.

Tears fall freely then; tears for how I've treated Garrett, tears for Edward, tears for my parents, tears for Edward's parents, tears for the whole effed up situation.

The crying only subsides as I allow the void to take me once again. I feel numb when I get to this point and it's a relief. It's the only time I have control over my emotions, but it will be lost the moment I have to deal with reality again.

I slowly pull the blankets down a bit so I can look at something other than plain burgundy cotton. It's dark in the room, the time now well after midnight. My dinner remains haphazardly placed on the nightstand. A pile of clean clothes, that I assume must have belonged to Kate, sit on the top of the dresser along with a few other necessities purchased for me in Hyder. I avoid looking in the mirror on the wall behind them, afraid of what I'll see staring back at me.

In my avoidance, I realize the cabin is silent save the sound of my breathing and the hiss of the heater. Listening for a little longer, I decide that Garrett has likely fallen asleep in the other room.

It takes me a few more moments of deliberation before I sit up and allow the blankets to fall away from my body for the first time since this morning. Admittedly, I've been in the bed almost non-stop since Garrett opened up the tiny cabin, but it's not like there are a lot of options here anyway. Even if I was in the mood to explore, I wouldn't get very far.

Other than the single bedroom—a simple square space with a dresser and closet on one wall, and a bed and nightstand sandwiched between two windows on another wall—and a bathroom, there is really only the one room to the cabin. It has a monstrous stone fireplace in the center that serves to divide the space without the use of additional barriers.

One corner of the main room holds a tiny, old fashioned kitchen. Another corner serves as a small living area, while a third contains a desk, book shelves and other storage. The last corner of the room, the corner adjacent to the kitchen, functions as both a pantry and a laundry room. It has more shelving and a tiny, apartment size washer and dryer. Between the kitchen area and the laundry area is the door to the bathroom. From what I can tell, the slightly more modern space appears to be an addition to the original structure.

All together, the entire cabin is probably less than eight hundred square feet, or roughly the same size as my first apartment. It's simple and functional, but also decorated very well for such a rustic and remote location. It's got clean lines and has a uniform color scheme throughout. There is also a touch of femininity here and there in the decor. Between that, and the few pictures of Kate and Garrett around, I decide this must be a place they share together and not just some top secret hide out Garrett uses while working for people like Jasper Whitlock.

For some reason, I find that thought comforting. The cabin isn't meant to be a prison. It only feels like one because I'm so desperate to be someplace else.

Eventually, I tentatively swing my legs out of the bed. I don't really know if I can emotionally handle something as simple as a shower right now, despite the fact I desperately need one. The grimy feeling of the last few days' travel is what ultimately moves me.

I stand, hoping not to make too much noise on the creaky wood floor. It's cold to me, even through my socks, and I shiver the moment I'm up. My jeans shift around me uncomfortably as I stretch. I try not to think about how long I've been in them, or how I got into them to begin with.

My heart aches with a phantom pang of discomfort when the memory comes to me anyway. Kate had to practically force me out of the bloodied clothes I'd been wearing when we left Port Angeles. I may have told her to go do something rather crude to herself at the time, but I was grateful now that she'd persisted.

I can't imagine how it would feel to have the physical evidence of Edward's injuries on my body at this point. Just the dried blood I'd had to scrub out from under my fingernails last night had been too much for me.

Making my way across the small room, I sort through the clothes on top of the dresser and find something that will work for pajamas. I also grab a fresh pair of thick socks and pull open a package of new undergarments I had no idea Garrett purchased. Or maybe Kate kept things like this lying around? Either way, I feel grateful.

With fresh clothing gathered, I venture out of the bedroom. The door creaks loudly when I open it, but the uninterrupted sound of snoring coming from the other side of the main room lets me know it wasn't too loud. In fact, Garrett continues snoring even when I trip over the threshold to the bathroom and bang into the door.

_Huh..._

Watching him sleeping on the sofa for a moment, I decide he must feel comfortable that no one will find us here. He's out cold, and it was always my experience with Jasper and Alice that these people slept with one eye open at all times. Metaphorically speaking.

Once inside the bathroom, I use the toilet while waiting for the water to heat up. It's still pretty cool when I'm done, so I wash my hands and brush my teeth while I wait some more. I'm not surprised by the slight heartache even these mundane tasks cause. The Cullens had a new, energy efficient "tankless" water heater in their house. It provided instant hot water and I remember quite vividly that Edward was quite jealous he didn't have one at his place. He'd told me as much when we showered together after making love.

My cheeks flush; a surprise to be sure.

_Was that really just three days ago? _

I stand with my hand in the slowly warming water and wonder what today would have brought had everything not gone to hell. Would we have been in Forks still? If so, we would have been back at school this morning. I would have had to sit through his class and not blush at his every glance. He would have had to teach his lesson and not react to the heat in my gaze when he leaned against his desk and crossed his arms over his well-muscled chest, as he often did.

When would we have been able to be together again? Would we have had a torrid, secret affair—stealing intimate moments when no one was looking? Or would we have come clean with Emmett, Esme, and Carlisle no matter the consequences?

Finally, the shower is hot and I step inside. I'm helpless to stop the flood of other memories that hit me once I'm standing under the water. While the liquid saturates my hair and runs over my face, I close my eyes and allow images of Edward to saturate my mind. I smile despite myself, remembering his hungry eyes as he stared unabashedly at me in this same position.

At the time, I'd raised my arms and run my hands over my hair and down my body seductively, giving him a teasing smile. He'd growled and told me to knock it off before he ended up doing something that my recently well-loved body wasn't ready for. I didn't tell him how that thought somewhat excited me.

Instead, I apologized and swapped places with him so he could have a turn under the water. We allowed our conversation to become earnest then, sharing our life histories and re-learning everything about each other. He had more to re-learn than I, of course, but I still found out a few things about him that surprised me.

_"Favorite movie?"_

_ "Star Wars," he answered without pause._

_ "Star Wars?" _

_ His eyes widen comically at my giggle. _

_ "Please don't tell me you're one of those weirdos who hates Star Wars."_

_ I laugh again and shake my head. "No, I don't hate it. It's a classic, I guess. I just..."_

_ "What?"_

_ I smile and step closer to him, running a hand through his wet hair. "It's cute." _

_ His hands find purchase around my waist again. "It's not cute. Men are not cute. And a lot of men like Star Wars."_

_ I giggle again. "Yeah, I guess they do. You don't happen to go to conventions and stuff to meet up with these men, do you?"_

_ He narrows his eyes playfully. "Not anymore."_

_ "Anymore!" I laugh. _

_ "I told you I was a geek in high school," he smirks. _

_ I giggle softly and lay my head against his chest as he pulls me closer. "I was a nobody in high school. Well, at least I was until I won a national title and made the local news."_

_ His lips touched the top of my wet head. "I can see that."_

_ I look up at him, confused by what he means. _

_ He smiles, kissing me softly on the lips this time before explaining. "I just meant that I can see the reflection of your own high school experience back then, in the way you treat others in school now." _

_ When I continue to be confused, he laughs and spins us a bit in the water. "You treat everyone with respect, even those that don't deserve it. You made a point of befriending the friendless and underappreciated. Don't think that went unnoticed. It's an exceptional trait in a teenager. Although, I still find it exceptional in spite of the fact you're really twenty-two."_

_ I blink at him, my cheeks heating under his praise. He leans down and touches his lips to mine, effectively changing the subject. _

_ Several long, tender minutes later, he murmurs close to my ear while massaging conditioner into my hair. _

_ "Tell me about the Olympics. What did you think of China?"_

_ I smile. "It was amazing. So different, and a little scary too, but amazing. I don't know if I can put the whole experience into words."_

_ "Were your parents able to go with you? Or did you travel with the team?"_

_ "My parents came with me. My dad wouldn't have missed seeing me shoot for the world, and my mother wouldn't have missed the Great Wall, or the food."_

_ Edward looks at me askance. "The food?"_

_ I laugh, then smile nostalgically. "She watched a lot of the Travel Channel. Have you ever heard of Anthony Bourdain?"_

_ "I don't think so." He wrinkled his forehead in thought. _

_ "He's the host of what was one of her favorite shows. The guy travels the globe seeking out the most unique foods imaginable." I take a deep breath. "Mom always wanted to do the same. China was her first chance."_

_ Edward wraps his arms around my shoulders, pulling my back up against his chest and holding me in his perfect arms. _

_ "How did she like it?" he asks softly, understanding when it takes me a moment to answer. _

_ "She loved it. Even the stuff she hated, she tried to at least appreciate. She was just so enthusiastic about the whole thing. Just so... Renee."_

_ I sigh and Edward hums, continuing to anchor me to him. Eventually, I turn my head and smile to tell him I'm okay. He steps backwards with me, releasing me so that I can rinse my hair under the water while he asks his next question. _

_ "Did you participate in the opening ceremony?"_

_ "Yes."_

_ "So if I find it on YouTube or something, will I see you?"_

_ I laugh a little. "You might. For like, a millisecond. There were several hundred athletes there just from the U.S."_

_ Long fingers stroke the curve of my spine. "Were you towards the front or back?"_

_ "The middle."_

_ "On the left or right?" His fingers trail to the left and right landing on my hips. _

_ "I have no idea," I say, trembling slightly. _

_ He chuckles and rests his chin on my shoulder. _

_ "I bet I can find you."_

_ I turn in his arms and gaze into his eyes. "I bet you can, too."_

The memory, like the cold water now running down on me, makes me shiver and brings me back to the present with a start. Warm tears spill over as I turn off the shower and grab a towel. My entire body shakes as I dry myself. I'm not sure if it's because I let the water run cold, or because I got lost in thoughts of Edward.

His voice echoes in my mind as I wrap my towel tightly around my body and reach for another to dry my hair.

_"I bet I can find you."_

God, how I wish he would. I wish that he could.

That last thought stirs me to begin a new round of tears and silent prayers for him. I never realized I had any kind of faith in a higher power, but my fear for Edward's safety has apparently brought it out in me.

_Please... Please don't take him._

I repeat my mantra for a while, refusing to allow myself to think of the alternative. Once I'm dressed again and get my hair up in one of the towels, I leave the bathroom and make my way back to bed. I'm still freezing from the way I let my shower end, so I climb under the covers immediately, wrapping them around me the best that I can so I can still brush my hair. I stare out the window into the night until I cannot keep my eyes open any longer.

It's sunny when I wake up the next morning, the sound of my door clicking shut apparently having roused me. Rolling over and peeking out through the blankets and my very wild hair, I see that my dinner from last night is gone. I never did eat it, but a small twinge in my stomach tells me I'll probably eat something this morning.

I'm sure that will make Garrett happy. Or maybe not. I can't really get a good feel for him, so who knows? Maybe he was looking forward to having to force sustenance down my throat.

Not surprisingly, I can hear him moving around in the kitchen, but I don't get up and go out there. The most I can manage to do is to grab my hairbrush out of the bedding and try to tame the haystack masquerading as hair on top of my head. I spot the clock on the nightstand and am shocked to see that I slept so long. It's nearly noon.

A light knock on the door is followed by the sound of Garrett's voice.

"Knock, knock."

He's done this every time he's entered the room in the past two days, but I actually reply for the first time. "Come in."

The surprise on his face is immediately evident when he opens the door. "Oh, you are up."

I shrug. "Yeah, I guess."

"I hope I didn't wake you earlier when I came in. I was just checking on you. Making sure you were still breathing and all that."

I nod. "I figured."

"Okay, good. So..."

"So," I answer, my voice lifting in a question.

"So you need to eat today. I had oatmeal, but we also have pancake mix and I could make you that. Or there's dry cereal. No eggs though. They were out in Hyder."

"I remember."

He nods. "Good."

"Oatmeal is fine."

He looks dubious. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Good. You drink coffee? Or I think Kate has some tea here, too."

"Coffee's fine," I answer.

"Sugar and milk?"

"Please. For the oatmeal, too."

"Good. That's good. I'm glad you're eating."

I shrug again and look at my hands in my lap. "Thanks for checking on me. And for... cooking for me and stuff. I know I slapped you... and I yelled, and..."

"It's okay. It comes with the territory. Trust me."

"Okay."

He's quiet a moment. "I'll be back. Unless you want to come out. You can come out anytime you want. Watch a movie, grab a book, whatever."

"Um, thanks," I say, knowing I'm not likely to take him up on that right now.

He nods once and takes his leave with an expression that's not quite a smile, but something close.

The rest of the day proceeds in much the same way. I try to be kind to Garrett. He tries to keep me fed and encourages me to stay strong. I get sick of the kid gloves pretty fast though and eventually I close the door to my room, telling him I'm tired.

It's true to an extent, but when I lie down and hide myself under the covers, sleep evades me. Every time I close my eyes I'm accosted by more memories, both good and bad. I want to concentrate on the good ones, but I'm afraid if I do that, I'll just make the reality of my current situation seem even worse.

By the time darkness falls and the cabin becomes quiet again, I've given up on sleep. Like last night, I creep out of my room to the bathroom just after midnight. I do what I need to do, showering without wetting my hair this time, and then tiptoe back. I sit and stare through the windows again, and just like the night before, sleep only finds me when I'm finally and wholly exhausted.

The pattern continues for two more days. Wednesday morning, or afternoon technically, I wake up from pleasant dreams that are almost a shock to the system. I lie staring at the wood paneled ceiling, replaying them like a masochist. I can't help it, I know it will hurt in the end, but they were too wonderful to ignore or forget.

In my dream, Edward had been in Beijing with me for the Olympics. He met my father and mother and they loved him, of course. He was there cheering for me when I shot for my gold medal. Only for some reason, in my dream it was a silver instead. Not that I cared now. The mere idea of Edward side by side with my parents, a smile on his face and one of my mother's homemade Team USA/Team Bella pennant's in his hand, was too enrapturing to nitpick over.

When I've exhausted the play by play in my head, I roll on my side and think of other impossible things. I imagine Edward at my parents' home in Phoenix, chatting with Charlie over a disassembled rifle on the table. My mother would tell them they had an hour before she wanted her table back for dinner, then she would retreat with me into the kitchen where she would press for details that would make my cheeks burn.

For some reason, I try to imagine the reverse scenario. I try to envision me at the Cullen's house in the role of new girlfriend. I try to imagine how Carlisle and Esme would have treated me if I'd only ever met them because of Edward. It's difficult to do, and my happy morning comes to an abrupt halt when I realize they would likely never get past the fact that I nearly got their son killed. The thought is illogical in my imagined scenario, but still pervasive. I lose control at that point, the images coming to me growing darker and darker, until I'm a sobbing mess.

Garrett comes to check on me, but by this point, all I want to know is when we can contact Alice. I need to know if Edward is all right.

"Tomorrow," Garrett says simply before requesting that I come out of the bedroom for a while so we can discuss what will happen then.

It takes me some time to calm down, but eventually I'm seated at the small table in the kitchen area. Garrett tells me he has to leave the next morning in order to find cell phone service for Alice's call. He also wants to be a minimum of one hundred miles from his cabin, just in case.

"Not that I anticipate Alice making a mistake twice, but I like my cabin."

I stare at him blankly until he sighs and gives me just the facts. He'll be flying into Juneau and waiting for Alice's call there. He'll be getting supplies while he's out; I can ask him for anything and he'll get it for me. He'll be back by dark, but perhaps most significantly, I'll be staying here alone.

"No one will find you here. I promise."

I nod, too mentally exhausted to ask him what to do if some local fisherman happens by, or a bear comes out of the woods or something.

Will he leave me some way of protecting myself? Or is he too wary of my emotional state to even leave the kitchen knives here when he goes?

I don't ask, but instead concentrate on the fact that—by this time tomorrow—I'll know if Edward lives. Or not.

I don't sleep that night.

I scarcely move while Garrett is gone.

I can barely breathe again until I hear the hum of an engine and the distinct sound of the seaplane landing on the icy water out in the cove the next evening.

"Knock, knock."

I've never been so glad, or more afraid, to hear Garrett's ridiculous greeting.

"Come in," I say shakily.

"Have you been in here the whole time?"

I shrug and sit up, wrapping my arms around my knees tightly.

Garrett sighs and gestures to the bed, asking permission. I nod and he sits.

"So, Alice was able to get a call out to me."

My heart lurches. "And..."

Garrett keeps his eyes locked on mine. "And... Edward is still in intensive care. He's stable, but Alice says she spoke to his brother this morning and, at that time, they were still waiting for him to wake up."

"So..." I say, trying to keep calm. "He's in a coma or something?"

Garrett shakes his head. "I don't really know. Alice said that he had surgery to stop the bleeding and repair his shoulder, but there were some complications. She believed that the doctors were keeping him sedated in order to help his body heal, at least that was according to his brother. She said to tell you she'd know more in a couple of days."

"Oh." I had no idea what else to say, or even what to think. "So... that's it? That's all she told you? Or is that what she told you to say? You're sure you don't know anything else?"

"That's pretty much all I know, kiddo."

I take a moment to process that. To process the idea of Edward alive, but still in intensive care. That he was possibly sedated and still suffering complications from the surgery to save his life nearly a week later.

I shake my head, my breathing growing uneven. I was hoping for relief, but it's just not there. I've been given nothing concrete to hold onto with this information.

From the corner of my eye I see Garrett reach out to me, like he's going to pat my hand or leg or something. I stand up to stop him.

"Did she at least say whether or not he's expected to pull through?" I ask shortly, backing away from the bed.

Garrett shakes his head.

"Well, did she say if... if it's not looking... good, or...something?" My voice fails me, and I choke on the words a little.

"I'm sorry, no. She didn't say. And I didn't think to ask."

I take a rough breath. Garrett leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees.

"I wish I knew more, Isabella. But I don't. At least we know that he's still alive and stable."

_For now,_ my traitorous brain adds. Edward's pale, lifeless face flashes through my consciousness again, making me wince.

"Are you all right?"

I shake my head. "Not really, no."

"Okay..." Garrett says, sort of shifting uncomfortably. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head.

"That's fine. I get it."

"Do you?" I question, biting back an acerbic laugh as tears fill my eyes unbidden.

Garrett smiles sadly. "I do. I've seen some shit in my time. I know you've seen some shit. Alice filled me in a little bit more about your parents, you know."

I shake my head to stop him from continuing. "Can we not have that conversation, please? Just tell me what else Alice said about Edward. And did she say how this happened? Is the guy who did this still in jail? When can I go home?"

_Home..._ I'm a bit startled by the fact that I'm referring to Forks, Washington as home, but Garrett starts talking before I can really concentrate on why.

"You aren't going anywhere for a while. Alice is going to call again in a few days and she'll need at least a week to work things out, but she's coming here to get you. The asshole who ran them off the road and then tried to kill you and your foster-brother whatever-he-is? He turned out to be an FBI agent, kiddo. And, yes, he's still in custody, but there are multiple agencies investigating the incident and Alice still isn't 100% sure exactly how or why everything went down the way it did. So it's going to be a while before you can go back."

"But... Edward… and the Cullens... Who will protect them?" I ask.

Garrett chuckles. "Not you. You can't protect them, kiddo. And if anything, your presence would only place them in greater danger."

I nod, knowing he's right. A tear slips down my cheek and I wipe it away furiously.

Garrett stands and heads for the door. "I'm certain Alice would make sure they're looked after. She already feels responsible for what happened."

"It's not her fault," I say quickly.

He sighs. "It's not your fault either."

I don't respond.

"Jasper said hello."

I gasp and spin around, horrified that I'd completely forgotten about him and hadn't even thought to ask about his condition, or even Alice's, before now.

"Is he alright? I never even asked. Is Alice alright?"

"Alice is fine. Cuts and bruises only. But Jasper... well, he has a spinal cord injury. He'll need a lot of rehab and stuff. It looks like he's out of the game, probably for good, but we'll see."

"Oh, my God..." I gasp.

Garrett nods. "I know. But he's in good spirits from what I understand. Alice says he keeps telling her he'll be back on the job and driving her crazy again soon –which does sound like him."

"_Will_ he be back? I mean... his spine? Isn't he... Doesn't that mean he's paralyzed?"

"I don't know."

I shake my head, losing my composure, and slump heavily against the dresser next to me. "I can't believe any of this. It just doesn't seem real."

"It never does," Garrett says. "But life goes on. It may not seem that way now, but it does. I'll give you some time to yourself."

I can hear the door creaking behind me, so I turn around quickly.

"Wait!"

Garrett pauses, raising an eyebrow.

I feel my cheeks heat a little for the first time in nearly a week and look away. "Please, Garrett... Is there anything else you can tell me about Edward or the Cullens? Anything at all?"

He sighs. "They're worried about you. And..." He squints, and then shakes his head. "That's it. Alice didn't say anything else except for what I already told you."

I sniffle and thank him quietly before turning back around and moving to the window. Pressing my forehead against the cold glass does nothing to stem the ache in my heart, but it does seem to keep me from breaking down completely.

_He's alive_, I tell myself. He's alive and...

"That's all that matters," I whisper, my breath fogging the glass. "He's alive."

I hear Garrett leave and shut the door. My head instinctively turns toward the sound, and I glance around the room before looking back outside. Pressing my hand against the glass longingly, as if I could reach all the way back to Washington, I tell myself I can survive this—I can survive anything— if only Edward would just wake up and be all right.

"Please be all right, baby. Wake up."

Hours later, when I finally surrender to the physical and mental exhaustion of the day, it's with those words on my heart.

_Wake up, Edward... Please, wake up. _

~(~)~

* * *

_**Just in case the timeline is confusing with the alternating POVs, the end of this chapter coincides with the end of Edward's Chapter 12. **_

_**FYI- I'm off to New Jersey for a week. The next chapter is pre-written, so unless my nephews have a game or my brother-in-law planned something I'm not aware of, the next update will be on Friday, as usual. **_

_**(And if you don't mind, please pray I can find some writing time while I'm there. I don't know how that's gonna go with my sister-in-law, six kids, and three boisterous men in the house, LOL!)**_

_**-Ginnie**_


	16. Chapter 16

_**No fancy author's notes this week. Just the update. (We're back with our Edward again.)**_

_**PS- I don't own anything. **_

* * *

Chapter 16:

_EPOV—  
_

I'm pulled from very brief rest by more knocking at the door. I'm a little irritated, because my mind was just re-conjuring my first kiss with Bella. However, when I take in the fact that I'm in a hospital gown, covered only in a thin blanket, _and_ lying in a small room surrounded by family, I realize it may not be a bad thing that I was interrupted.

Opening my eyes, I see my father speaking lowly with two men in suits. They look towards me from the doorway as does my father. I blink and shift in the bed and then they exchange a few more words.

Mom and Tori watch them too, and I can tell they'd chase them off like buzzards if they could. Not this time, though. I know I need to talk to the investigators, so I smile reassuringly at my mom and sister when Dad allows the men entry into the room.

"Come on in," he says, sounding resigned. He walks to my side and helps me once again with the controls on the bed. "Edward, these are the men here to question you. You up for it?"

I shrug. "Sure."

Dad nods and moves back after I'm seated more comfortably. To be honest, I think it may be the first time I've sat up in a few days.

One of the men steps forward. "Edward Cullen?"

"Yes, sir," I answer automatically.

He nods. "It's good to see you're recovered."

"He's not recovered yet," my mother objects.

I meet her eyes. "I'm on my way, though."

My reply is for her, not the suits at the foot of my bed, but they don't seem to notice.

"We promise not to wear you out. We realize you need your rest. We just have a few questions to ask you about the day you were injured."

I nod.

He turns to my parents and sister. "If we could have a moment?"

"Does he need a lawyer, or a witness, or something?" Tori asks.

The men chuckle.

"He's not suspected of any crimes that we know of, so there's no need. We mean no harm."

I think about it for a moment and decide I just want some answers, and if it helps make sure that the guy who shot me and tried to kill Bella goes to jail for the rest of his life, all the better.

"I'll talk to them. It's okay. You guys can wait outside."

Reluctantly, my family agrees and soon I'm alone with two men. The spokesman takes a chair on my right and pulls out a small digital device.

"This will be recorded."

I nod. "Sure, but can I ask a question before we start?"

"Go ahead."

"How do I know you are who you say you are, and that you aren't some kind of double agents yourselves? I know that sounds ridiculous, but you can understand my concern."

The man in the chair smiles wryly. "I see you've been talking to your brother."

"Of course I have."

The man at the foot of the bed clears his throat. He's remained silent until now.

"Mr. Cullen, I'm Special Agent Marks of the FBI's internal investigations division." He hands me his badge and ID. I look them over and hand them back. "This is Special Agent Crowley. You're welcome to look at his identification and badge as well. In fact, I applaud your caution given the situation."

I wait for him to continue, certain he will.

"I can assure you, Mr. Cullen, you can trust in the FBI and our agents. What happened to you was an isolated and unfortunate situation. The man involved abused his badge and his position, as well as betrayed his fellow agents. Personally, as far as I'm concerned, I would add that he lost his mind. In any case, our job is to make sure he is held accountable for his actions. With your cooperation, we will get to the bottom of this as quickly as possible."

I digest his statement and swallow down the bubbling anger I feel at the words, "_unfortunate situation_."

A broken television on Superbowl Sunday is an unfortunate situation.

What happened to me and Bella was much, much worse than that. I'm not even sure I have words for it.

I turn to look at his partner and decide to get this over with as quickly as possible. "What are your questions?"

Agent Crowley nods. "Thank you, Mr. Cullen. First, we have to go over the basics, okay?"

I nod and he asks me to confirm my name, birth date, address, and that I was ambushed at gun point and then shot while trying to flee outside my parent's home on Saturday, April 30th.

"Okay, then," he says, continuing. "We'd like to show you a picture and ask you to identify the man you believe to be the one who shot you."

"Okay."

At the end of the bed, Agent Marks pulls a folder out of his trench coat and slides an 8X10 sheet of photograph paper onto my lap. "Out of the five men shown here, which one is he?"

I look over the five similarly featured faces, but recognize our attacker immediately. "That one."

"Are you certain? Number four?"

"Yes."

"How certain are you?"

"Absolutely certain. One hundred percent."

"Very good. Thank you."

The photo is taken away and the rest of the interview goes as I expected it to.

"Agents Wiles has stated during questioning that he attempted to approach you and Miss Swan, also known to you as Miss Anna Bella Dwyer, as if he were making a lawful and legal arrest. Did he at any time identify himself?"

"No."

"He didn't identify himself as a federal investigator, or a member of the Federal Bureau of Investigation?"

"Uh, I think he shouted FBI at us when he first cornered us near the garage."

"And did you stop?"

"Yes. Immediately."

"Both of you?"

"Yes."

"But when he came to the front door, he never stated -his business there?"

"No."

"And so, because you'd spoken with your brother, who had informed you over the phone of the instructions he'd been given by a U.S. Marshal, you decided to flee?"

"Yes."

"And you used your parents' home security system to call for additional help before you attempted your escape?"

I thought about it. "Uh, yes."

"When did the assailant begin firing shots?"

"Umm..." This was a harder thing to pinpoint. It was all such a blur after I made my decision to save Bella.

"I think after I pushed Bella inside the garage."

"And why did you believe you needed to do that as opposed to complying with his instructions?"

"I was afraid he was there to kill her. He called her Miss Swan, and even when I met that Marshal, Jasper Whitlock, he never called her by her real name. He called her by her alias. I knew something was wrong, and that my brother had been right."

"You met Deputy Marshal Whitlock?" Crowley asked, his surprise obvious.

"Yes. About a month or so ago."

"So... you were aware that Bella was...?"

"No. I wasn't aware of anything. I stumbled upon him meeting with Bella. It was an accident; I wasn't supposed to see them together."

"What happened when he noticed you?"

"He told me to sit down and explained that Bella's safety was dependent on my keeping my head and not asking too many questions about her. He made it clear she would be sent away if her safety was compromised, but let me take her home."

"And then her identity was compromised when you and Miss Swan attended a movie together in Port Angeles. Is that correct?"

"Yes," I say, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Someone recognized her."

"And she contacted Deputy Whitlock right away?"

"As soon as we got home."

"Were you privy to that conversation at all?"

I shook my head. "No. She told me later that Whitlock wanted to move her, and that he was on his way to Forks, but would decide what to do with her when he got there."

"Which we both know never happened."

"Yeah."

"So, can you tell me what happened after you pushed Miss Swan into the garage? James claims that you attacked him."

"He shot at me almost the instant the door closed behind Bella. Or, I don't know, maybe he was aiming for her. Either way, he missed, so I charged him. He went down and I kicked the gun out of his hand. He retaliated and we threw a few punches before he got the advantage. That's when Bella showed up with a gun."

"You said that Agent Wiles 'got the advantage.' Can you explain?"

I shrug. "He um, he had me pinned. Had his hands around my neck."

Crowley nodded. "I can still see the bruises."

I reached up and touched my neck. It took me a moment to realize I hadn't even seen a mirror since I'd woken up here. I had no idea how rough I looked. Was it obvious I'd been in a fistfight on top of being shot?

"A few more questions, Mr. Cullen."

I nodded.

"When Bella came out of the garage, what happened then?"

I took a deep breath. Would, _"She kicked ass" _be admissible in court?

"She fired warning shots. Scared the hell out me, too. Then she said something to the assh..., um, to Agent Wiles, and," I paused, thinking back. "He thought she wouldn't hurt him, but she shot at him when he didn't let go of me. He yelled and I thought she hit him, but he didn't appear to be bleeding when I rolled out from under him. So I knocked him out, or tried to. I slammed his head into the ground and we took off."

"He followed you?"

"Not right away. We were getting in the car when he started shooting at us again."

"Your shoulder... When did that happen?"

"After I pulled the car out of the garage. When I got the car turned around, he was standing right in front of us. I told Bella to get down, but obviously I had to drive."

Crowley nodded. "Very good, Mr. Cullen. I just have one last question for you. How close were you and Miss Swan, or Anna Bella."

"It's okay, I know who you mean." I try to play it cool, but my heart starts pounding and I'm certain the monitor behind me will sound an alarm shortly. "Can I ask why you need to know that?"

Agent Crowley just smiles. "It's a standard question."

"But what does it have to do with anything?"

"We just need you to state your relationship to her for the record."

_Well, shit..._ That was a landmine question.

What was my relationship to her? And could I even lie to these guys about it? Wasn't that perjury or something? Oh, no it was _'providing false information to a law enforcement officer'_ and possibly _'obstruction of justice.'_

_Thanks for the tidbits, Emmett..._

At the end of the bed, Agent Marks clears his throat.

"Mr. Cullen, it's not a complicated question. A simple answer will suffice."

"I.." I open my mouth, but none of the labels I could use seem right. "We were... close. And it was complicated."

Marks sighs and crosses his arms. He exchanges a look with Crowley.

Crowley chuckles. "Listen, we're here to nail James Wiles' ass to the wall, not bring you under suspicion for having any kind of inappropriate relationship with a minor. Especially since she's not a minor."

"It really wasn't like that," I say, looking back down at my lap. Was I lying? I couldn't be sure.

"Well, to be frank, we really don't give a damn either way. We'd just like a statement from you that will help us put James Wiles behind bars for a very long time."

I nod and gather my wits together. "I feel... very _protective_ of Bella. I care about her. She lived with my parents and attended the school I taught at. She trusted me and confided in me, and I swore to her that I wouldn't let anything happen to her."

"Do you love her?"

I blink at him.

"It's not a trick question, Mr. Cullen. It doesn't come with an indictment, or with any kind of judgment."

"Yes, I love her."

"And you believed her to be in mortal peril when you made the decision to run from James Wiles and hit him with the car?"

"He was shooting at both of us, so yes."

"Very good," Crowley says.

"That's what we needed to hear," Agent Marks adds concisely.

"Yeah, thanks for your cooperation."

Agent Crowley looks over his notes and then stops the recording app on his phone. I wait a moment and then put up a hand.

"Wait, so... you just wanted me to say that I love Bella and I was acting out of what...?" I struggle for the right words.

"Defense of a loved one is often seen in the same light as self-defense in the court's eyes," Marks says.

"Why should that matter?"

Crowley hesitates a moment before answering. "Well, even though James Wiles admitted to most of his crimes, he is claiming that he only drew his weapon after Miss Swan pulled a gun on him first. He also claims that he only shot you because you attempted to run him over with the car. He's trying to make it appear as though he attempted to get to Bella without harming anyone and that you resisted."

"Yeah, well... he's a lying asshole," I say flatly. "He shot at me when I had my back to him, before I even knew Bella had a gun and could defend herself."

Crowley chuckles. "We know. The evidence really isn't in his favor."

Marks coughs. "Not to mention that if Miss Swan had been trying to kill him as he claims, he wouldn't be alive right now."

I smile.

"Anyway, when we get Miss Swan's testimony everything will undoubtedly fall into place. James Wiles won't have a leg to stand on by the time we're done with him." Agent Crowley stands and puts his coat back on.

I sit up a little bit and run a hand through my hair. "Can you tell me why he did it?"

They exchange a glance. Marks answers this time.

"Until recently, James Wiles was a field agent in the Balkan organized crime division. He was undercover for a long time and it looks like he got in too deep, got himself involved with a girl. When his cover got blown, the criminals he'd been working for blackmailed him."

"How does that relate to Bella?"

Marks sighs. "The deal was Agent Wiles' girlfriend's life –and from what we understand, the life of their unborn child– in exchange for helping the Vladimir family get rid of a few witnesses."

I inhale sharply. "He was definitely going to kill Bella then."

"He says he wasn't going to murder her, but he does admit that he was desperate. In fact, the only reason he's even cooperating with us right now is because he's still desperate to get his little mafia-princess girlfriend out of harm's way."

I take in this new information in stunned silence.

"Do you know where she is?" I ask after a moment.

"The girlfriend?"

"No! Bella! Do you know where Bella is?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen. We don't," Marks says.

"Then how will you get her testimony?"

"Well, that is the question? Now isn't it?"

I glare at him. "Bullshit!"

"Mr. Cullen..."

"No, you have to know where she is. Someone has to know where she is!"

"Unfortunately, the FBI doesn't handle witness protection, Mr. Cullen," Crowley says. "When we have witnesses or victims that need looking after, that responsibility falls to the United States Marshal's office."

He walks towards the door and then turns around. "Listen, given everything we've just told you, you must understand that it's best for Bella that less than a handful of individuals know her whereabouts. When it's critical that she be made available for testimony, she will be. Until then, she's safest this way."

"But what if she isn't safe? What if someone else untrustworthy has her? What if..."

Marks interrupts. "Mr. Cullen, we're positive that James Wiles was working alone on this. Those involved in blackmailing him are being rounded up as we speak. With any luck, by the time we've finished our investigation, there won't be too many individuals left out there that would have any reason to harm her."

He smiles apologetically and gives me a parting nod. Agent Crowley nods as well and the two men take their leave.

The door clicks behind them and, for the first time in days, I'm completely alone.

I look out the window and over the horizon, processing the conversation I just had and all that I learned. The whole situation seems so surreal. Stuff like this just doesn't happen to people in the real world.

_To Jason Bourne, maybe... _

The sun dips down in the sky outside while I contemplate that Bella's life had been bartered for the life of some other woman. Before that, her life had been bartered for her father's cooperation and silence. Both times she only very narrowly came out on the winning end of the deal.

My hearts stutters a little at the thought of how easily it could have gone the other way. It hurts to imagine a world where she ceases to exist. I raise my hand to my chest, pressing against where the ache is the strongest.

The door clicks open and my sister appears at the end of the bed. I see her in my peripheral vision, but don't look at her. I have no idea what she'd see in my eyes right now if I did.

"Are you okay?" she whispers.

I nod and hear my parents walk in behind her. The door clicks shut.

"How did it go, son?" Dad asks.

"Edward? Are you okay?" Mom adds, her hand covering my own.

Dad rounds the bed, blocking my view of the window.

"Are you alright? They didn't upset you, did they?"

My eyes move to him and he's looking at my monitor, checking numbers I have no clue about.

"I'm fine. I just... It's a lot to take in."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head.

"Will you tell us about it later?"

I nod.

"Still hungry?"

I shrug. "Yeah."

That makes Tori snort. "Boys... the world could be ending and they'd still want food."

I feel her eyes on me and meet her gaze. It's not the teasing expression I'm expecting. There's a serious question there.

"What?" I ask.

She's silent a moment, her mouth opening and then closing again just as quickly. She shakes her head. "It's nothing, Edward. Don't worry about it."

I frown, but let it go. I don't have the energy to pursue it anyway. I need food and sleep... and Bella.

At least I know two of the three are attainable. While I wait for my lunch to arrive, I turn my head back towards the window and wonder how I'll manage the third.

~(~)~(~)~

Much later that night, I'm downing my second "clear fluids" meal and watching television with Emmett, who finally reappeared after sleeping all day at the hotel across the street.

Dad walks in the room, a huge smile on his face.

"Good news, my boy. Your kidney function is back to normal. You're being downgraded from critical care and moved to a regular room, and this time tomorrow, you'll be having solid food for dinner."

I'm currently looking up at him, my mouth full of lime Jello. I've had three containers of the stuff along with two cups of broth, a glass of ginger ale, and some apple juice. Despite that, I'm still starving and can't help but be nearly as enthusiastic as he is.

He chuckles at my expression and pats my leg, while Mom jumps up and whoops like we're at a football game.

"I'm so relieved," she says, smiling and hugging Dad. When she's finished with him, she turns her affections on me. She musses my hair and kisses my cheek until I'm whining like a fifteen-year-old being hugged in front of his friends.

"Mom..."

"I'm sorry. I'm just excited."

I laugh lightly. "Over my kidneys?"

She scowls playfully at me. "Yes, over your kidneys."

Dad laughs at us, but sits in the chair nearest my head. "Your kidneys are a very important organ system, Edward. Even you should know this."

"I guess so, but she's acting like I'd just been named Superbowl MVP or something."

Mom crosses her arms over her chest, frowning. "Well, when you're a parent, you'll understand."

I shake my head, smiling. "That's not happening anytime soon."

She grins back, her eyes mischievous. "Famous last words."

I crack up laughing, because any other option in my medicated state would have likely given something away. I hadn't even had sex in over a year until Bella, and my mother chooses _now_ to bring up reproduction.

"Seriously, Mom!" Emmett says, laughing too. "He was almost dead a few days ago! Now you're campaigning for grandchildren?"

"Exactly!" I laugh, nodding.

"You don't even have a girlfriend right now, dude."

My laughter dies a little in my throat, my breath catching even as I watch Emmett shake his head amusedly.

"Sucks being the oldest, doesn't it?" he teases.

I smile and laugh half-heartedly. "Yeah."

Mom crosses her arms over her chest. "Oh hush, or you're next. I'd love nothing more than for the both of you to meet someone special and fall in love. The rest is just icing on the cake."

Tori unexpectedly stands from her seat next to Emmett.

"I can't listen to this. I'm going home for the night."

Everyone falls silent, and Mom turns to her confused. "You're leaving now? Driving back to Seattle?"

Tori shakes her head. Her piercing gaze meets mine briefly. "I don't know, maybe not. Maybe I'll just stay at the house in Forks."

I frown in confusion. I'm not the only one.

"Sweetheart," Mom says slowly. "We haven't even been back there yet, and your brother says the place is a mess thanks to the police and FBI traipsing in and out. Why don't you stay at the hotel with us instead?"

"That's okay, maybe I'll take care of a few things while I'm there, see what needs to be done. Besides, I kind of feel like staying in my old room."

Her eyes fall on me.

"Tori, what...?" I start to ask.

She smiles insincerely and grabs her purse. "I'm fine. I don't mind."

Dad clears his throat. "Are you sure everything's okay? You seem upset."

She shakes her head. "I'm fine. I'm just tired. But I'll see you tomorrow. We can talk then, okay?"

"O-kay," Dad answers, looking to Mom for help.

"Are you sure you're alright, sweetheart?" Mom asks.

"Yeah, I'll see you in the morning."

She hugs Mom and Dad quickly and then flees from the room while we all just sort of stare after her.

"That was odd," Dad comments.

"What do you suppose got into her?" Mom asks.

"You brought up grandchildren," Emmett says confidently.

"Why would that upset her?"

"Umm, isn't it obvious?"

I glance between them and then at my father, whose face has turned into a scowl. "What do you mean, _isn't it obvious_? What do you know, Emmett?"

Emmett looks at him with wide eyes. "Nothing. Why are you looking at me like that? I'm just saying... Oh. Oh, wait, you didn't think I meant–"

"Well, what else was I supposed to think?" Dad shouts.

"Not _that_!" Emmett responds.

Mom gasps. "That can't be it. She would have told us something like that. At least I think she would."

"Tell you something like what?" I interject, having no idea what they're going on about.

Emmett ignores me. "I thought Tori bolted because she figured if she stuck around, you'd be asking her for grandkids next. Or at least bothering her about a boyfriend."

Dad runs his hand through his hair. "So you don't think she's pregnant?"

"God, no!" Emmett says, cringing.

I nearly swallow my tongue and end up choking on nothing. My eyes must look like saucers as I cough uncomfortably.

Dad thought Tori was _pregnant?_ I want to laugh because she's about the last person on earth I could see that happening to. Instead of keeping that thought to myself however, I open my slightly doped-up mouth.

"Tori would never let that happen. She's like the poster-girl for proper birth control."

Mom gasps and Dad turns red.

"What?"

Mom grabs his arm and scowls at me.

"I just mean that she's a firm believer," I add quickly. "You know? With our background and everything?"

Dad's face is still red, and Mom motions for me to continue.

"See, between her own childhood with Elizabeth, and stories of Emmett's childhood with his biological parents, she swore she'd never go there. That she'd only have a child when it was planned for. She even speaks to freshman at UW every year about safe sex, birth control, and the consequences of unplanned pregnancy."

"Yeah," Emmett pipes in. "And I know she tells them that abstinence is the only real way to be safe, so maybe that means she practices what she preaches."

I start laughing under my breath and Mom mouths, "too much" to him.

Dad scrubs his face with his hands and shakes his head. "I really don't want to think about that Emmett, but thank you."

Mom rubs his shoulders and smiles. "Why don't we go check on Edward's transfer? See how long it will be before they move him?"

Dad nods and lets our mother lead him out of the room. She leans back inside and points at Emmett.

"You better tell your sister what you did," she hisses.

I laugh at the look on Emmett's face until my shoulder starts to hurt. He laughs at me then, but I press the call button to summon Jake with more pain meds, pointing out that he still has to call Tori and tell her what he said.

"She'll kill me," he groaned.

"Probably."

He sighs and shakes his head. "I'll wait until the morning to tell her."

"Chicken."

"Yeah, whatever. You're afraid of her, too."

"Sometimes."

"Speaking of... what was with you two when I got back tonight?"

I turn my head to look at him. "What do you mean?"

"She was looking at you like you did something that pissed her off."

I'm surprised. "She was?"

Emmett nods. "Yeah, but it was like a mix of pissed off and worried at the same time. I wondered what happened."

"I have no idea. Unless she's just pissed off I nearly died."

"Huh..." Emmett's thoughtful and then snaps his fingers. "That's probably it! Right before she took off, you said to Esme that you almost died a few days ago and now she was asking about grandkids. Remember?"

I sigh. "Crap. Maybe I should talk to her instead?"

Emmett shakes his head. "No, I'll do it. I'm the one that made Dad think she was knocked up. Besides, the two of you have a somewhat volatile history."

I shrug because it's true.

Tori wasn't exactly very happy about being forced to come live with her long-lost brother and his adoptive family at first. In fact, she sort of hated me for a long time because our mother had given me up for a better life, while she got to grow up watching Elizabeth waste away and eventually die of her afflictions.

"We've come a long way since then," I say softly.

Emmett nods. "Yeah, but still..."

"I know, and I'm not going to argue with you. I hate being in the dog house with her."

Emmett chuckles, but doesn't say anything more because Jake the nurse enters the room.

He gives me my pain meds and checks a few things before saying goodbye to me since I'm being moved out of critical care.

"I can honestly say that I never want to see your face here again." He grins. "Seriously though, man, best of luck to you. You've been a great patient."

"Uh, thanks..."

"Take care, Edward," he laughs. He waves at me and Emmett, then heads out the door.

Emmett sniggers. "I think he likes you, Ed."

I smirk. "Whatever, I'm taken."

Emmett raises his eyebrows at the same time I realize my mistake.

"Since when, dude?"

I close my eyes and lay back with a not so subtle groan. "Uhh... a little while now."

My heart is pounding, a result of the adrenaline rushing through me in my panic. I fumble for the remote control to the bed with trembling hands. Emmett gets up and helps me.

"I, um... I had no idea." He coughs. "Why didn't you say anything?"

I shrug.

Emmett's quiet while the bed lowers. I can see that he's thinking intently while I shift around to get comfortable. When he puts the remote control in my hand for me, he sighs.

"Dude... I wish I'd known. We should have called her or something. Do you think she'll be pissed when she finds out you've been in the hospital and no one told her?"

"I don't think she'll be angry with me. At least, I hope she won't be."

His face scrunches up. "Is she from Forks? Because everyone in town knows you've been here. Wouldn't she have come by?"

I sigh and rub my face with my hands. "She's not from Forks. I'll have to get in touch with her. Don't worry about it."

"Well, is it serious? I mean, if it is, then she's probably pretty freaked out."

"Yeah, I know. She probably is. But there's nothing I can do about that right now."

"Well, your cell phone was tagged as evidence, but if you know her number, you can use mine. Call her." He pulls out his cell.

"Emmett..." I say, my voice barely audible. I'm fighting to keep the emotion out of it. Fighting and failing. "Thanks, bro, but maybe tomorrow. I'm... you know, on pain killers right now."

Emmett frowns, his normally carefree features marred with worry. "Are you sure? Don't you want to see her?"

His question breaks me. "Yes, of course I do, but I can't."

"Why not?"

I feel myself crack and then shatter.

"I just can't! Okay!"

My eyes close and I concentrate on breathing. My lungs, like my emotions, are completely out of control. I hate it and I'm about two seconds away from telling my brother everything.

What is there to gain by lying to anyone at this point anyway? Keeping this shit inside —trying to hide the gravity of my feelings for Bella and mask my preoccupation with her whereabouts and her well-being—it's more exhausting than recovering from the physical injuries I've suffered.

"Why can't you see her, Edward?"

Emmett's voice is calm, but firm. I open my eyes and am not surprised to see he's flipped a chair around and is sitting astride it right next to my bed. He looks every bit the cop out for a confession.

I swallow.

"Tell me why you can't see this girl, big brother." His voice is patient, but insistent.

Taking a deep breath, I steel my resolve and meet his gaze. "She's... Bella."

Something flashes in his eyes, though it's not the immediate anger I'm expecting. Looking down, he rubs his temples with two fingers and sighs.

I wait in anxious anticipation, praying that our parents don't burst through the door at the moment.

"Not to sound cliché, but I think you should start at the beginning."

Voices in the hall catch both our attention.

Emmett frowns. "Maybe not right this second, though."

"Yeah, I don't think I can..." I gesture towards the sound of our mother's voice.

My brother's shrewd gaze meets mine. "I'm _not_ going to think about why that is... And as soon as we get a chance, you're telling me everything, Edward."

~(~)~

* * *

_**Ruh-roh... or not? You tell me. ;-)**_

_**Thanks to my super-beta, **__SueBee0619__**! With any luck and her help, I 'll see you all next Friday. **_

_**-Ginnie**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**Well, hello! Long time, no Arms, huh? **_

_**My apologies to you all; I got thrown off my routine while I was out of town the last week of September and it took me a while to catch up. I hope to have the next couple chapters finished much faster, though. I hope you'll hang in there with me. Thank you to the amazing ladies who pre-read a few different versions of this chapter. You each helped make it better in your own special way! Muchas Gracias!  
**_

_**Warnings/Disclaimers:**__** There be citrus below! **__**;-)**_ It's EPOV citrus, so please excuse the language in advance. (Boys.. what can you do with them?) Additionally, I do NOT own Twilight, Christina Perri (HAVE YOU HEARD "A THOUSAND YEARS" BTW? :D) or The U.S. Marshals. No copyright infringement is intended. 

* * *

Chapter 17:

_EPOV–_

It's been a week and a day since I last saw Bella.

Emmett waltzes into the kitchen ahead of me. He pulls a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer and sets it on the counter before turning around and crossing his arms over his chest.

I roll my eyes. "You're not serious, are you?"

"I have to do it, bro."

"I just got out of the hospital an hour ago."

"Two hours ago, and I'm not gonna hit your shoulder, idiot."

"Why do you have to hit me at all?"

"Consider it fulfilling my responsibility as Bella's older brother-type person."

"Seriously, Emmett? You met her, what? Three times?"

"Four or five, and it's the point of the thing."

"The point of _what_ thing? I thought you said you got it."

"I do get it. You love her, I get that. I even want to say I'm happy for you. But... you slept with her. With Bella! Who, _one,_ everyone thinks of as our foster sister. _Two_, you were supposed to be looking out for that weekend. And _three_, was believed to be a minor until about three seconds before you boinked her."

"Hey!" I say, pointing a finger in his face. "That last part was uncalled for!"

He sighs. "Look, I'm sorry... I'm not trying to be a jerk, but I don't think you understand how people will react to this. Her real age aside, to anyone with eyes it's gonna look like you were thinking with your..."

I practically growl at him. "Do not finish that statement unless you want to be the one holding frozen peas against _your_ face. It was never like that."

Emmett raises an eyebrow at me.

I stand to my full height. "I'm serious, Emmett. I love her. I tried to stay away from her. I _did _stay away from her. Talk to my colleagues. Or better yet, talk to my old recruiting officer. I'm sure he'll confirm that I recently called him to find out what options were open to me if I returned to active duty."

Emmett's face falls. "Are you serious? You were going to... what? Re-enlist?"

"If that's what it took to forget about her, then yes. I would have. I didn't mean to fall for her. You think I wanted to feel that kind of attraction for one of my own students? A supposed seventeen year old? Do you know how guilty I felt? How dirty? And how..."

"Whoa, hold on, Edward. Just slow down, okay?"

Emmett takes me by the shoulders and forces me to sit down at the table. I hadn't even realized I'd started breathing so fast. Or shaking. Or sweating.

"Take slow breaths or something, man. Calm down."

I inhale slowly and exhale through my nose until the shaking subsides.

Emmett looks worried.

Good. Maybe he'll let this whole punching me in the face thing go. Not that I don't think it's sort of nice that he feels protective of Bella considering he barely knew her. But still... I spilled my guts to him and he should know me better than that.

"Are you okay?" he asks after a moment.

I nod halfheartedly.

"I am sorry, Edward. I only wanted you to realize how this will look to people if it gets out. Or what Mom and Dad may think. I don't know if they'll be as understanding as I've been. I might be wrong, but I honestly think it's going to shock the hell out of them."

I sigh. "I know."

He leans back against the kitchen counter again, relaxing a bit. "You want a beer or something?"

"I can't. Pain meds," I remind him.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot." There's a somewhat awkward silence before he kicks my shoe lightly. "So, I'm sorry I upset you. Are we good?"

I look up at him, surprised. "I don't know... You tell me."

He smiles and nods. "Yeah, we're good."

I smile back, but it falls fast. I'm exhausted, emotionally wrung out, and with each day that passes with no word from Bella, I grow more and more anxious.

There's still no word on where she is. Emmett says she's safe. She's supposedly in protective custody, but I can't help feeling like anything could happen to her and we wouldn't know. _I_ wouldn't know. And yet, even with all of that, my biggest concern is how she's handling everything. How do you deal with losing virtually everything, not once, but twice?

My insides flip a little; I can't even imagine what she's going through.

"She's going to be all right," Emmett says suddenly, like he's reading my mind. Or maybe it's just that obvious I'm thinking about her.

"She's been through so much, you know? And I promised her I wouldn't leave her. I promised nothing bad would happen to me, and then..."

"Then you all but died in her arms."

I nodded, feeling the stab of pain associated with the memory. It was weak at best, but I recalled her face in those fuzzy moments after Emmett put me in the back of his cruiser.

"Look, don't beat yourself up. You couldn't have known what was going to happen. No one could have. Don't you think I feel guilty, too? I feel like I failed everyone involved. You... Bella... and especially Alice. I not only told her Forks was pretty much the safest place in America, but I was the last line of defense for you guys and I didn't get there in time."

"Yes, you did." I smile sadly. "You got there just in time."

He takes a step forward and gingerly puts a hand on my shoulder. "Barely."

"It was enough."

He breathes deeply and removes his hand. I don't look up at him. I don't have to see him to know he's choked up. After a moment, he clears his throat.

"Then maybe what you and Bella had while she was here was enough, too. Enough to get her through this."

I'm battling my own emotions now and it takes me a little while to get to a point where my voice won't crack.

"I have to find her, Em. I won't let anybody take her away from me... not even the Secret Service."

"U.S. Marshals," he corrects.

"Whatever."

He chuckles and sits down across from me, and just like that, I know he's on my side.

Maybe with his help, I can actually accomplish my goal. Maybe I won't have to be separated from the girl that I love for long.

~(~)~

_BPOV—_

It's been two weeks and two days since Edward all but died in my arms.

I hate Alaska. I hate the constant cold. I hate the wind. I hate the taste of canned food. I hate the smell of Garrett's cigarettes. I hate the sound of Garrett's plane taking off without me.

I have no one to blame but myself for being left behind, but I still hate it. Last week, Garrett took me with him to town for the first and only time. A single attempted collect call to Forks from a payphone and that was the end of my flight privileges. It was stupid. I knew it was when I tried it, but I was desperate. There had been no more news about Edward.

I'm hopeful there will be today.

I'm hopeful that today, Garrett will bring Alice with him when he returns. We don't know for sure when she'll be coming, but it should be soon. He's been going through a lot of fuel the last couple days to keep in touch with her.

So, once again I sit alone and practically frozen on the front porch steps. It's the only time I come outside– when Garrett leaves. I should go back inside already but the sun is shining and even if it's not warm, I'm drawn to it.

It's pretty hard to feel melancholy under the bright rays. The beauty of the vast blue sky is also difficult to ignore and is another small reprieve from the darkness and desolation inside of me. I suppose it's a good thing that the days are getting longer and longer here in the land of the midnight sun.

I idly wonder if I'll still be here when the days become longer than the nights. Will I be here when the night is no more than a handful of hours long? I certainly hope not.

But nothing in my life is certain anymore. I don't know if it ever will be again.

The alien sound of an engine catches my attention and I suddenly realize I've been sitting outside almost all day. The sun is now lower in the sky, the glare on the water in the bay becoming too bright for my eyes. I look to the sky anyway, using my hand to block the light bouncing off the small waves.

It doesn't take long for me to spot the dot in the sky that is Garrett's plane. My stomach rumbles a little so I slowly stand and decide to go see what I can pull together for dinner. Garrett usually takes care of meals, but the last day or so I've been feeling more up for helping out. I need to do something with my waking hours anyway so I don't go crazy.

Searching the small pantry, I push aside all the cans of "Manwich" brand Sloppy Joe sauce and roll my eyes. I'll never forget Garrett's face when I told him I detested Sloppy Joes. It was as if I told him the moon was purple. He sincerely thought everybody liked them and I couldn't help but wonder whether or not Edward liked that sort of thing. He was... _is_... a bachelor after all.

It's been surprising the number of things that make me think of him. Some things are predictable; the shower, the pine trees when the sun shines on them first thing in the morning, Garrett's Navy t-shirt. Apparently my protector was a Navy Seal once upon a time. It was a very impressive story. I still had to ask him not to wear his shirt. He must have thought I was a loon, but I haven't seen it since.

My scavenging fails to come up with anything truly satisfying, but I manage to scrape together enough to make a decent meal. I get started on boiling water for rice just as I hear the plane again. It's close now. If I walk outside, I'll be able to watch Garrett land.

Sure enough, a few short minutes pass and then I hear the splash of the floats and the engine throttle back. A minute or two later the floats scrape onto the rocky shore. I sigh and put the lid on the beans I'm warming to go with the rice. The engine cuts off while I stare ahead blankly.

How much longer can I stand to stay here?

How much longer will Edward wait for me?

Garrett calls out for me. In the relative silence of the cabin it would be hard not to hear him. By the time I get my coat back on and open the door, he's bellowing at top volume.

"Belllaaa! Get out here, woman!"

I smile and shake my head. I can tell from his tone that it's no emergency. He probably just wants my help bringing in supplies.

"Isabella! Move your butt!"

"I'm coming, you big oaf!"

I jog down the path leading from the cabin out to the beach. It's only when I step out onto the shore that I realize something is different.

Garrett is already unpacking whatever he brought back from town, but it looks to be more than usual. There is also a boat speeding into the bay behind him.

"Garrett? What's going on? Who is that?" I shout.

He looks up from his task and grins. "I brought you someone," he shouts back.

My heart leaps and I stop walking for fear I'll fall down. It's Alice. It has to be Alice. And maybe even...

I clamp my bottom lip between my teeth, refusing to even think it. I don't know why my brain even went there. Maybe it was because my heart was at the helm for a split second, but I cannot allow myself to hope that Alice might have brought Edward with her. I haven't even had a chance to talk to her about him yet, so how would she know?

Methodically, I begin walking again, shoving my foolish hopes down deep inside me until they are forgotten. As I get closer, I see the shadow of a small figure at the helm of the long, yellow vessel racing toward the shore. The setting sun makes it hard to see much else, but I smile at her anyway. She waves and I wave back. I'm glad she's here.

_Finally..._

Maybe now I'll get some real answers and some decent news on the man I love.

~(~)~

_EPOV—_

It's been three weeks and three days since I held Bella in my arms.

Bella's touch has always been electric; it's always set me on fire. But then she's never touched me quite like this before. No one has.

Her fingers move over my body the way a sculptor's hands might caress their own creation - gentle, reverent, knowledgeable. She is both appreciating and evaluating. It should make me even more nervous, more self-conscious, but the way she is looking at me... I cannot feel anything but wanted, desirable, and powerful.

Still, I'm in awe that I can hold the attention of this goddess in the flesh. She hovers over me, her ivory skin, long, dark hair, and fathomless eyes making her seem almost ethereal.

Her breasts, so responsive to my touch, brush against my thighs as she reaches for the last item of clothing separating us. Her legs, so much more toned than I'd imagined, brush against my calves as she sits back and reveals my body to her. Her delicate, smooth shoulders lift and drop as the breath rushes out of her.

Her eyes run up and down my flesh, taking in everything, seeing me as I am. I'm relieved she appears to like what she sees. Her gaze widens and becomes fixed on the most noticeable part of me and I can't help but chuckle at how fascinated she seems. The sound of my laughter causes her face to flush and she looks away, suddenly shy.

The shyness doesn't last long. I reach for her chin and lift her eyes to mine. The moment we connect, the air between us becomes charged again. She crawls up my body, sliding her hands over my legs as she goes. Her touch carries that same reverent electricity. My body bursts into flames of desire as her fingers stretch out and knead my flesh, massaging the muscles beneath as they rise higher and higher.

Then she's there, her hot hand grazing the most sensitive skin on my body.

I gasp her name, begging her for more, relishing the sensations she's bringing me. I feel myself jerk as her fingers graze me down there. I'm hard and aching, although _aching_ is a vast understatement. I've been worked up before, but not like this. Never like this.

Her hands on me are too much, yet not enough. It's like nothing I've ever experienced before. I've always enjoyed being touched—what guy doesn't—but with Bella, _enjoy _isn't even the right word. There's no vocabulary for the sensations running through me. And this is just her hand...

"Do you feel it too?" I hear her ask.

Pulling myself from my blissful haze, I raise my head to see her, to see what's she's talking about.

"Feel what? That...?" I ask, panting as I watch her small hand slide up and down. Up and down. Up and... _oh, God._

"Yes, this," she says, squeezing me harder. "But do you feel the connection? The electricity that's there when we touch? I feel it every time."

I let out a grunt and a nod. I can feel her across the room. She affects me when she isn't even trying. Now that she's trying... _holy hell._

I gasp out an answer, telling her I feel it too, every time.

"Every... single... time," I add, my words broken up and barely escaping me with each magnificent stroke of her hand.

She grins, obviously pleased with that. My head lolls to the side. I watch her through the slits of my eyes; watch her as she watches me, as she takes pleasure in pleasuring me. Her chest rises and falls deeply, her nipples are still taut and glistening from my mouth being on them earlier.

I can't help but remember the sounds she made and the impossible speed with which she responded to me. I wonder if she'll be able to repeat that performance when I'm inside her, because as hesitant as I'd felt about making love to her earlier tonight, I can't wait for it to happen now. I cannot wait to feel her all around me, to be joined with her that way.

Just imagining it is working me up to a place that's almost painful. I'm leaking and so, so ready for her. So when she changes her game and unexpectedly shifts down my legs, leaning down and running her tongue up my length slowly, I lose control.

_Holy..._ "Fuck..." I hiss, my head flying back as the warmth and wetness engulf my tip.

She swirls her tongue around the head, making my erection jerk and swell. When she takes the rest of me inside her mouth, the sensation is crippling. I lift my head to look at her, almost unable to believe this is real. As soon as I see it, I'm mesmerized by the sight of her full, rose-colored lips wrapped around me. I can't stop looking at her, her cheeks are hollowed, her eyes are hooded with desire. She looks... well, she looks like every man's wet dream.

I groan. _So damn good..._

She continues, gaining confidence as I respond to her and works me into an absolute frenzy. I am forced to stop her before it's too late. I need her — have to have her — and I'm certainly not seventeen anymore. If I climax, it'll be a while before I get a second wind.

Except that being with her is a second wind.

Perhaps my saving grace was the screeching halt we came to while we discussed our lack of preparedness and protection, but the moment I'm fully inside her, I feel like I've inhabited another man's body. A man much younger, stronger, and more capable than mine.

I don't know where this newfound energy and confidence is coming from, but I have a feeling it's the words she uttered just moments ago, the ones I've asked her to repeat as I sink inside her again.

"I trust you," she breathes.

I kiss her palm where it rests against my cheek, pulling out slowly, sensually. "Again," I beg.

She mewls and lifts her hips. "I trust you."

Her words are accompanied by a tightening of her walls and my chin hits my chest as I push back in.

"Oh, Bella... Yes."

Her other hand comes up to cup my face and she lifts my eyes to hers as we move together now, in perfect synchrony.

"You like that?" she pants. "That I trust you?"

I can feel the sincerity of her words and nod, picking up my pace, thrusting more purposefully. "Oh, yeah... You have no idea."

She gasps and her hands leave my face, wrapping around my neck instead. "Why?" she asks, her expression alight with curiosity and desire.

She has both seen and felt the effect her words have had on me, but I can tell she doesn't understand. Not that there's any way I can explain it to her now. Not with the way her body feels beneath mine. I don't want to waste a moment while I'm inside her.

"Tell you later," I pledge, my voice rough. I push farther into her, pull out quicker, and then do it again.

She cries out at the new intensity and throws her head back, her arms falling from my neck at the same time. Her insides quiver and her chest rises, pushing her breasts up to me. I eye her nipples and wonder how close she is already. I become even more aroused wondering if I might be able to give her more than one orgasm before I climax, too.

I shift my weight and slide one hand down to her hip before reaching beneath her and gripping her firm backside. I lift her up to me, continuing to drive into her as I knead her flesh briefly. When I can't take it anymore, I move my hand and grab her knee, hitching her leg over my hip and opening her more fully to me. Her arms up, head thrown back, and chest heaving, I go in for the kill and lower my head, taking one of her breasts in my mouth.

Her reaction is instantaneous. She screams my name.

I hum at the sound and lave my tongue over her nipple, slowly teasing her. I swirl around and around until she cries out again. Kissing the tip tenderly, I mumble my love for her sweet, delectable body and switch sides.

I find myself picking up the pace of my hips as my tongue flicks against her pebbled flesh. Her body is like a finely tuned musical instrument and I can feel her respond to the way I'm playing her. The best part is that it's mutual. She's playing me too, and we're moving towards this crescendo together.

She cries out when I make a subtle change to the angle of my thrusts and the motion of my tongue against her breast. I work them in time together and it's so, so good. Her body arches and her breaths come out in erotic moans. I moan along with her, enjoying the way she's responding to me almost too much. Tension builds low in my abdomen.

Reaching for her other breast with my hand, I gently tug on her nipple with my teeth. She screams an unintelligible stream of words, but for a split second I think she says, "I love you." Of course, it's followed by a keening, "please," so I can't be sure she isn't just caught up in the moment.

But I think about it. Even while I'm panting and sweating and grunting, I think about what it would be like to hear those words from her and know she means it. A warm feeling deep down inside radiates through me, spurring me to look up at her.

I shouldn't be shocked that she's staring right back at me, but I am. She's glorious, too. Her mouth is parted and her skin flushed, her chest is heaving and her eyes hooded. I watch her nipples harden further, feel her walls grip me, and I grin at her.

"You're incredible, Bella... So responsive."

"It's you," she laughs breathlessly. "It's all you."

I can't help but laugh along with her because she really has no idea. I don't want to burst her bubble, but I've never performed like this before. Sex has never been like this for me before. But then, I've never felt like this before either. It takes everything in me not to confess my love for her right then and there, mid-thrust. I almost don't care how tacky that would be, but I don't want her to doubt my sincerity.

So I kiss her to keep the words from spilling out. I kiss her slow and deep, trying to tell her with my lips how completely in love with her I am. Lowering my body closer to hers, our chests meet and my hands cradle her head. My thumbs stroke her cheeks and I brush away a bit of hair I can feel has fallen across her face. Her lips curve into a smile against my own and I pull back a bit.

"Better?" I ask, grinning.

"Mm-hmm..." she hums, her smile spreading as she lifts her legs and wraps them around my waist.

I breathe out a curse as I slip deeper inside her. It's so much. So good. But I want more. I need more, faster, harder.

Bella coaxes me on, gripping my waist tighter with her legs, lifting her hips to meet mine. Her fingers tangle in my hair and pull, making me want to growl and bite where moments ago I'd wanted to cherish and adore. I press up on my forearms to gain more leverage, kissing her mouth once more before pushing myself all the way up and arching my back as I thrust in again with greater force.

She moans and writhes beneath me, clutching frantically and calling my name. I look down to watch her and witness her blinking slowly as she lifts her head. Dazed, starry eyes struggle to focus, but eventually land on where we're joined. She watches us, watches me as I enter and withdraw from her again and again. It makes me feel powerful—virile—when I see her gaze darken while she stares at us.

Her limbs tremble and her lips part in awe. Her eyes slowly make their way up my body until they meet mine. I expect her to blush at the sight of the smirk plastered on my face, but she doesn't. Her expression becomes hungrier if possible, her body pulsing around me, telling me in no uncertain terms how much she likes that I caught her staring.

She rises up, propping herself up on her elbows. Her mouth finds the skin of my neck, licking and nipping at me before sucking gently on a spot that makes me move faster. She kisses along my collar bones to the hollow between them, then up, her tongue laving and sucking on the salty skin of my neck until she reaches my Adam's apple. Her lips hover there, a whisper of sensation that escalates as I feel her breath leave her with movement of my hips. I moan, long and low as desire bubbles inside me, threatening to explode.

Both of us panting, trying to hold off, she shudders against me and arches her back, a wild gasp escaping her. I groan and rear back before slamming into her with a force I should be ashamed of. Yet she's receiving me eagerly, begging me for more. She screams my name and falls back against the bed, opening her legs wider in the process and allowing me to sink deeper, hit harder.

I swear and call her name, my verbal filter apparently gone along with any hope of holding off. If the desperation in my voice isn't obvious, the frantic movement of my hips should be.

This is happening now and I pray her rambling pleas mean that Bella is close too. If she isn't, I'm helpless to do anything about it at this point. So I scramble to bring her along with me.

Bending over for the one thing I know can make her crazy; I pull one of her taut nipples into my mouth and tease her with my tongue relentlessly. Coordinating the movement with the rhythm of our hips, I slam into her harder and feel the beginning of my orgasm wash over me.

Bella screams my name and God's. She pants and moans and grasps onto my arms for support, but I'm hardly aware of any of that. Every thought and feeling is focused on the sensations I feel inside her; the warmth, the friction, the waves of her orgasm that grip and hold and milk every movement I make.

It's heaven. It's utter ecstasy and I'm gone... done... dying in the best possible way.

Until I open my eyes.

Until the water runs cold and I remember I'm alone. She's not here.

Maybe she never really was...

~(~)~

_BPOV—_

It's been four weeks and four days since I last felt the heat of Edward's kiss.

At least I know now that he's alive and well, and apparently, missing _me_.

A small smile breaks out on my face when I think about how many phone calls have been placed in an attempt to get any information on me. There's been a private eye involved as well.

Alice giggles quietly next to me and bumps my shoulder.

"That's the closest thing I've seen to a real smile in two weeks."

I shrug and smile wider. "Can you blame me? Besides, what else is there to smile about up here?"

She shakes her head. "I should be offended you don't find me better company."

"You're wonderful company, but you've smiled more too since talking to Jasper today."

"Yeah, it was really good to hear his voice. His spirits were high, which makes me feel better about leaving him to face everything alone."

"He did sound like he was really optimistic, and the hospital in Denver sounds perfect for him."

Alice nods and simultaneously, we both sigh. Then laugh.

"We're ridiculous," I say.

"Yeah, well, what can you do? We're a couple of love sick fools."

I smile and look away. Love sick is definitely true. I miss Edward so much sometimes I think it's making me physically ill. I hadn't realized I was so used to seeing him every day– even if it was only fifty-five minutes during fourth period.

As if Alice can predict where my thoughts have gone, she bumps my shoulder again.

"I still can't believe you slept with your math teacher, _Anna_ Bella."

I blush furiously, but bump her back. "Yeah, well... I'm a slut like that."

Suddenly Alice lurches forward and spits her coffee all over the place. It flies across the room, spraying Garrett's television.

"Oh, my God... Alice!"

I gape at her as she coughs and sputters uncontrollably. She's laughing hysterically in between coughs.

I'm laughing along with her — for the first time in a month, I'm truly laughing. I'm laughing so hard it hurts. Laughing until it's not funny anymore. And when it's not funny anymore, I'm crying.

"Oh, honey..." Alice says, still trying to stop her coughing.

She sits up and moves next to me, grabbing the box of tissues off the coffee table. I guess she knows the drill by now, and shushes me as she pulls me into her tiny arms. They are not Edward's, not even close, but Alice has become one of the best friends I've ever had. If I had to go through something like this, I'm glad she's at my side.

"Bella Bee, why are you crying again?"

"I don't know!" I sob.

She laughs and sighs all at once. "It's going to be fine. If this is about Edward, it'll be just fine. With all the trouble that man has gone through to try and get to you, he'll still love you when this is over."

I nod at first, but then shake my head. "But... it won't ever be over. Not really," I cry. "Why would he want a life with me when we'll have to spend it always looking over our shoulders?"

She sighs and rubs my back. "You won't have to spend your life looking over your shoulder. That's the point of the Witness Protection program, honey. Besides, we've been through this... James Wiles sang like a canary and with his cooperation, the FBI has a whole new case against the bastard accused of your mom and dad's murder, not to mention the rest of his associates. With any luck, when this is all over, there won't be anyone left on the streets who would even know you, let alone want to hurt you."

I sniffle. "But in the meantime... "

"In the meantime you get through it. You have me." She squeezes my shoulders.

I hug her back. "I know."

She pulls back to look at me, wiping my cheek with another tissue before handing it to me. "So what's with the tears?"

"I don't know..."

Alice laughs as I sag against her once more. It doesn't even faze her, she just lets me cry it out.

When I finally calm down, I'm exhausted and have to go to the bathroom. I excuse myself and then splash some water on my face while I'm in there, wondering what the heck is wrong with me. I've been like this for the last couple of days, and it's confusing. When Alice first arrived I found I cried a lot less, but I guess since the high wore off — after hearing Edward was out of his coma and headed home from the hospital — I'm now back to being a mess.

That's the wonderful thing about Alice, though. When I get back from the bathroom, she just moves on. We don't have to talk about my breakdown and she doesn't feel like she has to tiptoe around me the way Garrett did.

"Movie?" she asks simply.

We've been raiding Garrett's stash every night since he left, headed back to Washington and his wife and bar. It had been hard to watch him leave, knowing he was going where I wanted to be.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"How about the Blue Lagoon?" she offers. "I loved that one when I was a kid."

I shake my head. "Too romantic... and don't they die at the end?"

"No, that was the sequel."

"Well, still."

"Okay... The Wedding Singer?"

"That's also a love story."

She rolls her eyes. "Okay... how about The Bourne Identity? Matt Damon's hot and there's only a little smidgen of romance."

"I don't know... there are guns... and people die. It somehow seems too close to my life right now."

"I think you're being a wee bit dramatic."

I just look at her.

"Okay, point taken..." she turns back to Garrett's extensive collection and looks through it. The conversation proceeds in the same fashion until she's throwing her hands up in frustration.

"Seriously, Bella? You've pretty much left us with the horror genre, but only if there is no gun violence and people don't die... so yeah, I got nothin'."

"I'm sorry, Alice."

She sits down and hands me a DVD case.

"This is it. The only one left."

"You're not serious."

She grins. "Oh, yes, I am. It's tons of throwback fun!"

"You said it had Pee Wee Herman in it," I complained.

"No, I said Paul Reubens did the voice of the alien space ship guy. That's the only bad thing about it. Well, and some 1980s special effects, but it's still pretty good for what it was."

I sigh and relent. Alice squeals. I swear at times that there is no possible way a criminal would ever take her seriously, but then again, she's not wearing the pantsuit right now.

She runs to the kitchen for refills; her coffee and my hot chocolate. For some reason the coffee I had earlier turned my stomach. She brings popcorn back with her and hands the bag to me while the opening music to _Flight of the Navigator_ begins. At first it's a little creepy and I look at my viewing partner dubiously, but then the very, _very_ eighties sounding beat kicks in and I laugh. The slow-mo Frisbee dogs make me giggle, too.

Unfortunately, twenty minutes later, I'm balling my eyes out again. The little boy in the movie has to stay in the hospital when all he wants to do is go home and he cries. So I cry. Then I fall asleep.

When I wake up, I'm in bed. Alice is next to me sawing logs and I have no idea how the heck she managed to get me in here. Did I walk? Did she carry me? Drag me?

I sit up and look at her slender arm thrown over her eyes, calculating the probability of her being able to move me. In the corner of my mind I think that Edward would come in handy right about now. I bet he could calculate it for me.

Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I sigh and then gather my pajamas and clean underclothes before heading to the bathroom. A month later, it's still my nightly ritual. The clock on the nightstand tells me it's after midnight again. There's no surprise there.

As usual the hot water is soothing to my mind and my body. This night I avoid thinking too heavily of Edward. I just try to relish in the knowledge that he's been looking for me, trying to convince those higher up in the Witness Security food chain that he needs to be with me.

I pour some body wash into my hand and then lather up, washing methodically. I use the repetitive, familiar motions as a stress reducing technique. I'm not afraid to admit it feels good, not in a stimulating way, just a soothing one. Well... except when I reach my breasts. They're tender.

I stop a moment because they're actually _really_ tender.

I frown and then gasp. It suddenly all makes so much sense; the moodiness, the crying, even wanting hot chocolate over my usual coffee...

My brain demands a facepalm.

"You have PMS, genius..." I mutter.

I haven't had a period since I've been here, so it's about dang time. It's no wonder I haven't snapped Alice's head off while demanding chocolate.

I giggle at the image in my mind until I realize something else.

Alice took me with her into Pelican this morning to call Jasper and get supplies. We spent a fortune at the little grocery and I didn't buy an ounce of chocolate. I bought graham crackers and ginger ale because my stomach was feeling... _off._

"Ohmygod..."

I have to grip the walls of the shower to keep from falling. My head is swimming. I'm not uneducated so my mind is furiously trying to talk my gut out of believing what it already knows.

"Oh my god..."

I think... maybe...

"Oh, God."

Maybe I'm pregnant...

~(~)~

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**_O  
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**_O_**

_**O**_

_**More soon. **_

_**Check Twitter or Facebook for update info, and thank you for all your support! **_

_**~Ginnie**_


	18. Chapter 18

_**A day late. Not too bad, right? Please give **__SueBee0619__** a huge round of applause for her lightning fast beta services. Also, **__Katmom__** gets big hugs for chatting me through the rough parts and pointing out my cell phone inconsistencies. I appreciate both of you ladies, so, so much! oxoxo**_

_**Warnings and Disclaimers:**__** I still do not own Twilight or its characters, nor do I own Christina Perri and her wonderful songs. I did give our Teacherward some whiskey this week though, so here's your language warning in advance. **_

* * *

Chapter 18:

_BPOV—_

It's been five weeks and five days since Edward and I made love for the first and only time.

Apparently, it's also been five weeks and five days since I unknowingly trusted in faulty birth control.

At least that's what the doctor tells me.

"It was a manufacturing mix-up. The blister packs were accidentally rotated 180 degrees within the dispensing cards so that the placebo pills were in the 'week one' slot, instead of 'week four'. There was a recall issued, but you said you recently moved?"

Too stunned to answer, Alice intercedes.

"Yes, she was given a six month supply before relocating."

"Six months? That's unusual."

"It was an emergency." Alice's tone is firm.

"Well, if the issuing pharmacy didn't have an updated phone number or other means of contacting you then, in my mind anyway, that explains it. Did you happen to notice that the color of any of the pills was wrong?"

I shook my head, trying to remember. It would have been the week before Esme and Carlisle left for Hawaii. I'd been highly distracted. I'd even forgotten to take my pill until after school one or two days.

"I can't remember," I whisper.

"I think it's safe to assume she didn't notice," Alice says. Despite my shock and dismay, I have to smile. She's wearing the pantsuit today. She's fierce in the pantsuit. One glance from her and no one would dare mess with me.

I squeeze her hand gratefully and try to absorb some of her confidence and strength. The doctor clears his throat and continues more carefully.

"Well, it's certainly not your fault, my dear. We'll fill out some paperwork and notify the manufacturer for you. I'm not a fan of lawyers, but you might be entitled to one at this point. Do you know how you wish to proceed?"

"No." My voice is barely audible. Tears prick my eyes and my stomach turns, clenching in uncertainty, anxiety, and the same nausea I've been experiencing all week.

The doctor seems understanding of my predicament even though he can't know just how big it really is. He pats my hand and tells me not to worry; they'll do an internal exam and then an ultrasound and we can go from there. The urine test was already positive, so I tell him I know the exact date of conception and he nods, saying they'll just confirm it to be certain.

Ten minutes later, I'm in a paper gown and staring, unseeingly, up at the ceiling. Alice is waiting for me outside the room. The internal exam doesn't take long, but it's as uncomfortable as all hell and I'm unable to hold the tears in. When the doctor is done, he scratches something down on my chart and opens the door, asking for a portable ultrasound machine. Within moments, it's being wheeled into the room.

Suddenly, the squeak and groan of the machine as they maneuver it in the room makes it all too real. I feel an overwhelming sense of dread as I hear it hum to life and watch the doctor and nurse get into position.

I've seen enough movies to know this is the part where people are supposed to see the baby for the first time and cry tears of joy. As the nurse pulls open the paper covering me to expose my navel, my tears are anything but joyful. I can't help either the anger or the regret that course through me.

_This shouldn't have happened._

_This isn't how it's supposed to go. _

I don't want to feel this way right now. I don't want to do this right now. Unfortunately, the doctor's already squeezed the sticky gel stuff onto my navel, and the machine is humming in the background, ready to go.

I tell the doctor to stop. I'm too close to an outright panic attack to let him touch me.

"What's wrong?"

"Wait. Please, just wait." I blink away the tears and the panic. "I don't... want... This just isn't how it's supposed to be."

There's a moment of silence where the piteous looks from the doctor and nurse make me want to scream or punch something as much as they make me want to sob. Fortunately for them, my breathing is too fast to accomplish either.

The doctor rolls his chair back, giving me some space. "Would you like us to get your friend for you?"

"Yes, please," I whisper.

He nods and asks the nurse to get Alice. I lay my head back, breathing deeply until she arrives moments later. With her at my side, the doctor tries again.

Alice keeps her blue eyes locked on mine from then on. I don't watch the doctor, and neither does she. She's here for me. Anything I need, she'll do what she can. I know it's her job to do this, but I also know that's not how she sees it. So I watch her, wishing I could be strong and steadfast like she is.

She smiles and brushes my hair away from my face.

"It'll be okay."

I nod, closing my eyes to stop the tears and just wait for it to all be over. I don't know what I'll do when it is, or how I'll feel about it. Right now, I'm scared again.

As if he knows, the doctor gives a gentle warning before he presses the Doppler wand against me for the first time. I hold my breath until he pushes hard enough to make me gasp. He apologizes and presses the wand down again, but I expect the pressure this time.

I listen to him type away on the keyboard attached to the monitor. With the other hand, he moves the wand, pushing and swirling it around my belly. He stops, clicks something, then moves some more. He moves to a new spot and repeats the pattern; move, stop, click.

The process is taking longer than I thought it would.

"Hmmm..." the doctor comments, still pressing the wand against me. He makes some adjustments on the machine then presses again, harder this time, before mumbling, "Ahh, there we go."

He sounds extraordinarily relieved.

Instinctively, I turn my head towards the man and the monitor behind him.

"What's wrong?"

He shakes his head, smiling. "Just had a hard time capturing a heart rate. I got it though. It'll go faster from here."

_Heart rate..._

"Does it...? Is it...? Can you hear it?"

He turns his head away from the monitor and looks at me over his eyeglasses.

"Yes."

"Oh."

I look away. Alice squeezes my hand.

"You okay?" she whispers.

I nod, biting my lip and thinking.

The nurse clears her throat. "Would you like to hear it? It's okay either way. If you prefer not to, we understand."

The doctor stops what he's doing for a moment. "If you'd like to hear it, we can do that, Miss Wolfe. I didn't want to assume since this was obviously an unplanned event."

I nod and inhale slowly. I appreciate their sensitivity, but I'm curious and... there's something else I can't quite explain.

"I think I'd like to hear it. Please."

Alice squeezes my hand. "Are you sure, honey?"

I nod again. "Yeah."

The doctor looks back to the ultrasound machine.

"Very well. Give me just a moment to..." He pauses and a muffled scratching sound fills the room, the speaker crackles a couple times, then...

A soft rhythmic whooshing fills the room.

"There it is," he says.

_Oh..._

It feels as though the sound wraps around me like a blanket.

_ Whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh-whoosh..._

After a long moment, I finally find my voice again. "Is it supposed to be that fast?"

"Yes, that's perfectly normal."

"Wow..."

Alice looks from me to the monitor. "Wow, huh?

"Yeah..."

My eyes follow hers and suddenly I'm watching my baby's heart beat on the screen. The shapes are completely indistinguishable to me, but the way the movement matches the sound is unmistakable.

"That's the heart?" I ask.

"It is. The fetus was moving around a lot earlier, but I've got it now. It's very strong."

I smile, as much as I have it in me to, anyway. I'm still scared, but... amazed.

_Strong. The baby's heart is strong. _

Next to me, Alice sighs. I glance up at her.

"So I guess there isn't any need to discuss... _options_?"

She seems apologetic, even fearful for bringing the subject up, but I understand why she has. She's been witness to all of the highs and lows that I've experienced in the last two weeks. She knows how terrified I've been and what I'm up against.

But my answer is automatic. "No, there's no need."

She rubs my hand, supportively. "Are you sure?"

I look back to the ultrasound machine.

"That's his baby, Alice... _Our_ baby."

After another moment watching and listening, Alice clears her throat. Despite my little epiphany, she still looks worried.

"If you're sure..." she says.

I turn back to the fuzzy monitor. The doctor is apparently done and the screen is now frozen on the best quality image he could get. It still doesn't look like much more than a blob, but what really gets me is the empty feeling that permeates the room as soon as the sound of the heartbeat cuts off.

I miss it already. I'm probably insane for feeling that way, but...

"I'm sure."

Once the words are out, they feel right, and even though I have no idea how this will all work out, or even what kind of mother I can be, I know this is the right decision.

My father always did tell me to trust my instincts— especially that first gut reaction.

_Your first shot is almost always your best, Bells. Go with it._

Armed with informational pamphlets, a prescription for pre-natal vitamins, a sample pack of the same, and an ultrasound picture, Alice and I leave the doctor's office in somewhat of a daze. At least, I'm in a daze.

Thoughts of Edward pervade my mind as we drive a short distance to a little Italian restaurant for lunch. What will he think? Will he still want me? Will he be angry? Will he believe me when I tell him what happened? Do I even believe that's what happened?

More than anything, that's what I'm struggling with now.

How could I have missed something like my pills being turned around? Was I so distracted and emotionally distressed that I failed to realize the color was wrong? Was the color wrong? Maybe I just screwed up and missed a pill or two. Without the pill-pack to be sure, I can only wonder.

Of course, it's really neither here nor there at this point.

Once we're seated in a small booth in an isolated corner of the restaurant, me with a ginger-ale and Alice with a glass of Pinot Grigio that I eye somewhat covetously, I pull out the ultrasound picture and stare at it. The name across the top says Vanessa Wolfe, the estimated due date says January the twentieth. It doesn't feel like it belongs to me, but it does.

"Tell me what you're thinking." Alice's voice is soft, undemanding.

I take my time answering.

"I guess I'm still in shock."

Alice nods. "I bet."

"I still can't believe the thing with the birth control. How does a company make a mistake like that?"

"I don't know," she snorts. "But it makes me want to hire Johnny Cochran and sue their asses."

I laugh a little. "Too bad he passed away a few years ago."

She pulls out a breadstick and points it at me. "We could call Erin Brockovich. It's not a chemical spill, but it's a pretty big mistake for a pharmaceutical company to make."

"Erin Brockovich? You and your movies, Alice..."

She scrunches her face up. "At least they issued a recall, but I'm still going to have to look into better notification policies for witnesses provided with prescription medications."

I half-smile.

"So..."

"So..."

"So you're really going through with this? You're going to have the baby?"

I sigh. "I think so. I mean, I don't know. I'm not one-hundred percent certain of anything right now." I pause, taking a deep breath to steady myself. "Alice... I need to talk to Edward."

_Please, please, please..._

"I know you do... but I can't just let you call him up on the phone. It's against the rules."

I inhale sharply, but try to be patient and let her continue. She does, though I'm pulverizing a package of saltines by the time she gets around to it.

"The first thing I have to do is figure out what I'm doing with you."

"Doing with me?"

She sighs and meets my gaze. "Yes... if you're serious about going through with this," she gestures at the ultrasound, "...we can't stay in Garrett's cabin any longer."

"Not that I'm a huge fan of the place, but why not?"

Her face is incredulous.

"Really, Bella? It took us an hour and a half boat ride, during which you threw up a half dozen times, plus an hour long plane ride, during which you thought you were going to throw up a half a dozen more times, just to get you to a real OB/GYN."

"Right."

I grab my ginger-ale, my stomach turning just from the memory of the trip.

Alice sighs and passes me some fresh saltines. "Sorry."

"I'm fine," I tell her.

She doesn't look convinced, but continues just the same.

"Look... if you do this, we'll need to make sure you're somewhere where you can have regular medical care without getting on a plane or a boat. You need to be in a city. You need another new identity, insurance, and reliable transportation. Your contract with us will have to be changed to include the baby as soon as it's born..." She looks up at me. "I assume you'll be remaining under our protection with a child involved."

I exhale heavily. "I... I don't know. I guess so. Where else would I go? Unless I can go back to Forks, but..."

I can just imagine the scandal that would cause for the Cullens.

Alice doesn't care about scandal, she sees the bigger picture.

"In a world where everything goes at it should and justice is served, the man you are testifying against will spend the rest of his life behind bars. In that same world, James Wiles' testimony will help put the rest of the Vladimir family's organization behind bars as well, and you'll be free to live in peace. But..."

I sigh. "But."

"But plea deals fall apart, evidence gets thrown out on technicalities, bad guys get away. There are no guarantees because the system isn't perfect. The world isn't perfect, and I already messed up with you once, Bella. I don't want to take any chances this time. Ultimately, it's your choice, but it would be safest for you to let us relocate you permanently. It's a fresh start and you need that now more than ever."

"And what about Edward? He's the baby's father." The words feel strange on my tongue.

Alice takes the ultrasound picture from me and looks at it while she answers.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Bella. It won't be an easy road. He'd have to enter the program, too. He'd have to give up his life, his home, his family and friends. Otherwise, he has to give up his child. It's unfair... incredibly unfair... but it's the only way to ensure your safety and the baby's. If _you _want the baby, _he'll_ have to choose."

My eyes close, tears threatening. Always threatening. "How can I ask that of him?"

"Well, you don't have to." She sighs heavily and I can tell I won't like what she's going to say before she says it. "You can disappear and not tell him."

My eyes fly open. "No! No way! Absolutely not! I could never do that to him!"

I look up through tear-streaked eyes, expecting an argument. Instead, I see Alice smiling.

"Then I think you have your answer. All you can do now is give him the facts and find out if what you two have is real. If it's worth the sacrifice."

~(~)~

_EPOV—_

It's been six weeks and six days... oh, no scratch that, it's past midnight now.

"Feven sucking weeks," I slur. It seems my ability to speak coherently left me long ago. Like Bella left me. "Everybody leaves me."

"No they don't," Emmett groans. He sounds disgusted. Oh, and a little drunk as well.

I guess that's my fault. He refuses to leave me to my wallowing. Or maybe it's that he refuses to leave me alone at Garrett's bar.

Not that it's his responsibility to keep me from getting my ass kicked by the proprietor. Nor is it his responsibility to keep me from overburdening my kidneys, which were only recently given a free and clear bill of health.

Yeah, I probably shouldn't be abusing them like this, but I don't need a damn babysitter. A wingman maybe... even a designated driver would be okay, but judging from the bottles sitting in front of Emmett, I'm pretty sure he no longer qualifies.

"You're not drive…" I choke on a belch. "...driving me home? Are you?"

He shakes his head. "Nope."

"So how are we getting home?"

"No clue."

"Well, what fucking good are you, then?"

He laughs. "I'm just here to make sure you don't do anything stupid."

I lift my empty shot glass; it's the most recent of many. "Great job."

"Shut up, asshole." He laughs.

I laugh. Or at least, I think I do. It comes out weird, and way too loud.

_Damn, I've had a lot to drink... _

I blink hard and look around the bar for my nemesis. I actually haven't seen the infamous Garrett tonight, but I know he's gotta be here somewhere –unless he's out playing special-agent-slash-kidnapper for someone else.

Yeah... I know the whole the story. I know how Bella called Garrett's Bar from Emmett's phone on the way to the hospital. I know how a tall, muscular guy with grey hair and his tiny little wife met them there and proceeded to take Bella off Emmett's hands for her own safety. I also know Emmett might have put up more of a fight if my heart hadn't decided to stop beating just then.

If I could go back in time and kick my own ass for having lousy timing, I would.

I've been feeling that way a lot lately.

If I could just go back and not take Bella to the movies that night.

If I could just tell people about my feelings for Bella without shocking them.

If I could go back and prevent Tori from overhearing me tell the FBI that I loved Bella.

That last one was the one I had the least control over, but outside of my relationship with Bella, it seemed to be the thing causing the most problems for our family. Tori just hadn't been the same since storming out of the hospital all those weeks ago. She barely spoke to us anymore.

Bella's easy acceptance into our family had apparently been difficult for her to take even before the shooting. While she'd been trying hard at first not to compare their situations, she'd eventually become jealous. Overhearing my spoken declaration of affection for Bella, after just a few short months of knowing her, only fueled Tori's lingering insecurities from years past. Then, the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back was our mother's teasing banter about grandchildren.

Completely unaware of the tumult brewing inside Tori's mind, Mom mentioned hoping that Emmett and I would settle down, but inadvertently left Tori out. Tori's little show about going home to Forks and sleeping in her old room was apparently an attempt to remind us all that she was still a part of the family and that she'd been there first, before Bella.

Of course, since telling us how she felt, she's ironically refused to have much to do with the family. She was sulking, it was true, but for the most part, she was genuinely hurt and I couldn't help feeling guilty for my part in that.

"What are you scowling about over here now?"

Startled, I look up to see Garrett waltzing up to the bar and stopping right in front of me. He looks me up and down for a moment and shakes his head.

"What?" I ask, my tone instantly confrontational.

Continuing to stare me down, he doesn't answer and eventually looks to Emmett.

"Can I get you another?"

Emmett shrugs. "Why not."

"What about me?" I sound every bit the belligerent drunk.

Garrett scoffs as he pops the top of Em's microbrew and hands it to him. "I don't think so, Cullen. Isabella would have my ass if I let you die of alcohol poisoning now."

He puts a glass of water in front of me and I open my mouth to protest until I realize that he actually mentioned Bella by name.

I sober up almost instantly. This is the first time he's even acknowledged he knew who I was talking about since I started coming here, hoping to get some information from him. He's just never complied before.

Apparently, Garrett realizes this too.

"Just drink that," he sighs, pointing to the water. "If you don't puke or pass out, we'll talk later. Bar closes in fifteen."

I don't get a chance to question him before he moves down the bar and announces last call. There's a stir because it's ten minutes earlier than usual.

Next to me, Emmett stares after him, just as mystified as I am. "What do you think changed?"

I frown. "I have no idea."

Emmett takes his phone out and looks at the time. "I was thinking of calling a cab to come get us. This guy Denny owes me a favor and works nights. Should I hold off?"

"Yeah... I think we may be here for a while."

Sure enough, as soon as the bar is closed and the last of the patrons have stumbled out, Garrett locks the doors and asks his wife to make a fresh pot of coffee.

My heart starts pounding when he finally comes back to the bar and ushers us over to a corner booth in the back.

"So..." Emmett is the first to speak when we sit.

"So you guys are nothing if not persistent," Garrett says, shaking his head.

We stay quiet. My throat is suddenly too dry to say much now anyway.

Garrett rubs his chin methodically and finally looks up at me. "Isabella is a federal witness. You guys know that right?"

We nod.

"And you know what she's risking..." He points to my shoulder. "...by agreeing to testify in whatever case she's testifying in. Right?"

"Duh..."

"Yeah, we know."

Emmett and I look at each other and back to Garrett.

"So I don't know where she is. Not anymore. And I'm sorry I was such a dick to you guys before, but as far as I was concerned, her safety for the last month and a half was contingent on me keeping my trap shut."

I frown. "But you don't know where she is."

"No."

"Then why didn't you say that when we first showed up?" Emmett cuts in.

Garrett stares at him.

"Oh," my brother says nodding.

I'm still too drunk to catch the significance. "Oh, what?"

Garrett chuckles. "I don't know where Bella is _now_, but at the time you first came in here guns-a-blazin', I did. Since then, she's apparently been moved."

Fear strikes.

"What? Why?"

Emmett echoes the sentiment. "What happened?"

"Is she okay?" I add.

Garrett puts his hands up. "I don't know. But I'm sure if she's with Alice, then she's fine. They probably got a little stir-crazy, is all. All I know is that I got a phone call tonight telling me I could have my cabin back."

"What cabin?" Emmett asks before I can.

"I have a place up in Alaska that's real remote. Whitlock and Brandon, the Marshals in charge of protecting Isabella, they're good friends of mine. When they got run off the road that day, they didn't know who to trust with the girl's safety so they turned to me. I spoke to Alice only briefly and told her I knew a place we could go until she could figure out an alternative."

He scratches the back of his neck. "It turns out that we may have overreacted. I think a random hotel somewhere would have done it. Of course, we couldn't be sure and Bella didn't exactly go quietly, so then again, maybe not."

"What do you mean she didn't go quietly?" I sit up taller and narrow my eyes.

Garrett chuckles. "She fought like hell, man. She wanted to stay with you and could've cared less about the consequences. Little spitfire, that one."

I stare at him unblinking while he shakes his head as if remembering something fondly. I want to imagine a feisty Bella giving him a hard time, but for some reason I see a picture in my head that is anything but amusing. Instead I see Bella terrified and heartbroken. I hear her voice begging me not to die.

"You okay?" Emmett asks softly.

I shake my head, unsure if I am. I think I need another drink. I can hear her as if she's right next to me.

"Please be okay," she whispers, touching my cheek. "Please don't leave me."

"Never," I vow. "I love... you."

"I love you, too. So much."

Her voice is a broken whisper in my ear. She sounds so afraid and I feel a desperate urge to comfort her. To make sure she knows I mean my words. I won't leave her. I refuse to give up.

For several long, perfect hours I could see my whole future in her eyes. I just didn't tell her. I have to tell her.

"Bella?"

She answers and then...

"Marry me?"

A startled gasp escapes me. It matches Bella's gasp in my memory. The vision is so hazy now that I can't tell the expression on her face. I try to force myself to remember if she answered. I can't. It's all slipping away.

_Was that even real?_

"Edward, man, what's wrong?"

Emmett's waving a hand in front of me. I sit back and blink.

"I... I'm fine."

He and Garrett are both looking at me a little dubiously. Garrett waves his wife over while I shrug Emmett off.

"I'm fine."

"Are you gonna puke?"

I almost laugh at that. "Nah."

Garrett's wife shows up with coffee. I don't drink it. I'm sober enough now. And I have plan. At least, I think I do.

I may just need some help.

"Garrett?"

"Yeah?"

"I need your advice."

"Okay."

"How do I convince the U.S. Marshal Service that I'm engaged to Bella? And will that be enough to count me as immediate family?"

Next to me, Emmett shakes his head. "I thought you already tried that angle."

"Yeah, well, I've tried everything, but that was before I remembered actually proposing to her."

My brother nearly spits his coffee out, but Garrett merely raises an eyebrow at me.

"The way I heard it, you didn't exactly get an answer."

I feel my face turn up into a grin. "You heard?"

He shrugs.

"Well... I want my answer."

~(~)~

_BPOV—_

It's been eight weeks since I've last seen Edward Cullen or the state of Washington.

The latter, I never thought I'd miss, but I do. The former... well, the former makes my whole being ache with wanting. The former is home.

I miss home.

I want to _go _home. I just don't know if I'll be welcome there anymore.

Especially now; now that I'm not alone in this, now that I have a secret even more significant than the one I kept from him before.

"I'm pregnant, Alice. It's time to deal with that."

"We're only asking three more weeks, Bella. You go before the grand jury in James Wiles' case in three weeks. Edward will be doing the same, and..."

"In three weeks, I'll be in my second trimester. Don't you think Edward deserves to hear about this before then? I've waited long enough. If it weren't for the fact I'm no longer risking just myself, I would have walked away by now. You guys have enough evidence on both Wiles and Stephen Vladimir to convict them without me."

She huffs and begins pacing again. I don't let up.

"You promised. You told me you'd work something out."

Another huff. She's frustrated. "I know. I guess I shouldn't have done that."

"Alice!"

"Look, I'm being scrutinized at every turn. I already broke a ton of rules when I had someone outside of our organization take you to Alaska, and if I'm not careful, they'll assign someone else to you."

I sit back, defeated.

Alice eventually moves to sit next to me. "The grand jury will need to get testimony from both of you. We'll work it out then."

"No."

"Then what do you suggest?"

I stand and look around the motel room that's been our home of late. We moved out of the cabin two weeks ago and have since been staying near the airport in Juneau. There's been a lot of "wait and see" going on since then.

I'm fed up. _But what are my options...?_

Phone? She had outgoing calls blocked already. Computer? That's a no-no as well. Shoes, keys, purse? Tempting. A stack of quarters? _Hmmm..._

"Bella... I don't like that look in your eye."

I move across the room with purpose. Jeans, sweatshirt, socks, sneakers.

"Bella."

I move to the bathroom and shut the door. Teeth, hair, toilet. I won't get far without taking care of that first.

When I emerge, I grab my purse, the keys, and the quarters off the dresser.

"Isabella." Alice's tone is dark. She steps into my path.

I hug her. She freezes, not expecting it.

"You asked me what I suggest, right?" I ask.

She pulls back, her gaze wide and fearful. _What are you doing?_ she seems to beg.

"I suggest you close your eyes, Alice. Look the other way."

The last thing I go for before leaving is her cell phone. She moves to stop me, but I step back from her with surprising agility, her phone in hand.

"Look the other way."

I don't wait to see if she does. I turn and walk out the door. On my way to the car, I turn her phone off and throw it in my purse. Once in the car, I gun the accelerator and pray this won't get my friend fired.

It doesn't take me too long to find what I'm looking for once in downtown Juneau. It's dark outside already, but the area is relatively safe and the police station is nearby so I'm not too worried about running into trouble. The only trouble I foresee is likely brewing back in our hotel room.

Parking the rental car on the street outside City Hall, I step out onto the street and fist the quarters tightly in my pocket. My hands shake while depositing them in the payphone. They shake as my fingers hover over the buttons, trying desperately to remember the number I need. I've never actually dialed it before; it was in my Forks phone only for emergencies

Concentrating hard, my whole body trembles as I dial. The butterflies kick in when the line actually rings through.

_Oh, God... Please be the right number._

It rings twice, then three times, and a fourth before...

"Hey, this is Edward. You know what to do."

A ragged inhale catches in my throat. I might have actually forgotten the sound of it, but I'd know that voice in an instant. It takes me a moment to collect myself after the beep.

"Hi, Edward... It's me. It's Bella. I... um, I..." I take a deep breath and close my eyes, pressing the cold plastic phone tighter against my ear. "I needed to talk to you and this may be my only opportunity for a little while. I don't know... I don't know if you still... think of me? Maybe? I do. I think of you. All the time. And I'm sorry... for everything. I wish I'd been there." I take another deep breath. "I wish I was there now."

I stay silent for a moment, unsure of what to say. I can't say it all on his voicemail. Who would do that? A single tear spills over and I wipe it away angrily.

"God, this really sucks. I can't... I need to speak to you and not like this. I'm going to try and call you back. Maybe you'll pick up." I sigh, sniffle, wipe away more tears. "I... I still love you. I hope that's okay to say, but if it's not, then... I understand. I'll call you back." I hesitate and then hang up.

It takes a few moments for me to calm myself enough to try again. I insert all the quarters I have left and dial.

My heart drops to my feet when it goes straight to voicemail this time. I leave another message, but it's much shorter. It's all I can manage without falling apart.

"Hi. It's me again. I told you I'd try again. I guess you're busy, though, so... Goodbye, Edward."

Biting my lip fiercely, I put the phone back in its cradle and steady myself. I feel like I would blow into dust if the wind suddenly picked up. I force myself to turn around and return to the warmth and safety of the car. Each step hurts. When I reach the curb, I contemplate going to the emporium across the street and changing some bills into quarters so I can try again. Or maybe they have pre-paid phone cards.

I take a quavering breath and decide that's what I'll do. At the very least, I'll call Esme and Carlisle's house. I've already broken the rules as it is, so what have I got to–

Behind me, an archaic sound I haven't heard in years breaks my reverie.

I turn slowly.

The payphone is ringing. _Ringing!_

My heart soars.

My mind scorns. _No... don't hope for it. Just don't._

Chest heaving, one foot follows the other until I'm standing in front of the ancient device while it rings, and rings, and rings.

My heart wins out.

"Edward?"

A strangled noise is all I hear, then...

_"Bella!" _

~(~)~

* * *

_**Happy yet? Happier maybe? **_

_**Let me know. :-) **_

_**More next week.**_

_**In the meantime, if you need something to keep you busy, the **_**Twilight**_** round of **__**The Canon Tour**__** is going on right now! There are 26 top notch canon and AU entries and one of them is mine. Voting runs until November 4**__**th**__** and winners are announced the next day.**_

_**http : / / www. fanfiction. net / u/ 3041014/ thecanontour [remove the spaces]**_

* * *

_**A Final Note: I've been meaning to mention this before now, but it slipped my attention. **__**Tori is not evil in this fic**__**. Though some of you have worried, there's no need to fear her jumping out of the shadows to ruin everything in the future. If you're curious, I chose to name her Victoria because I wanted a name that was traditional and went well with Edward since they had the same birth mother. Also, RPattz has a sister named Victoria, so I ran with it. **_

_**Thanks for your support! **_

_**Ginnie**_


	19. Chapter 19

_**Hello Lovely Readers! Just a quick note tonight to remind everyone that this is a work of fiction and while I endeavor to do whatever research I can to make it somewhat tolerable, I usually limit research to the internet. No actual US Marshals or US Attorneys have been interviewed for this story, nor have I been able to locate an actual participant in the witness protection program. For this reason, certain aspects of the following chapter are completely made up, and/or reference what we've previously been seen in movies and on TV. Please forgive any errors or other such ridiculousness. (I recommend just focusing on Bella and Edward, okay? ) **_

_**Thank you once again to all the usual suspects, including poor **__SueBee__** who is having laptop issues this week. :( And, big surprise... I still do not own Twilight, its characters, or Christina Perri's beautiful music. No copyright infringement is intended. **_

_**Now, I believe when last we left off, the phone was ringing? Oh, yes, that's right... the phone. ;-)  
**_

* * *

Chapter 19:

_BPOV—_

_"Bella?"_

"H... Hi," I whisper, my eyes closing. _I can't believe it's him. _

"Oh, Bella... Oh God, I thought I'd missed you. Where are you? Are you all right? I got your message."

I laugh through happy, relieved tears. "I'm fine. I think I got your voicemail just now while you were checking my message. I'm glad you called back... so glad."

He laughs, too. "Me, too. Are you really all right? You sounded scared and upset."

I take a deep breath. "I was only upset I wouldn't be able to talk to you. I thought you weren't there."

"I'm at a friend's house. Do you remember Ms. Meyer?"

"Yeah, of course."

"She and her husband wanted to have me over for dinner. I've been putting them off for weeks. I can't believe, of all the nights... I spend most of them alone." He grows quiet, I can hear him breathing. "I think about you all the time. I was glad to hear you do, too."

I smile. "I do... I miss you. I even miss Forks, can you believe that?"

"I miss you, too. It's not the same here without you. Nothing is the same anymore."

_You have no idea..._

"How are you? I've been so worried about you. They told me you got out of the hospital, but..."

"I'm fine, baby. Really. I had my last post-op check-up a couple weeks ago and I do physical therapy at home now. I'm pretty much back to normal, except that I feel like a huge piece of me is missing." There's a pause. "People are getting pretty sick of me sulking, actually. I think Emmett's finally had enough and will be moving out of my house soon. It's about time, though."

I can tell he's trying to make light of things, but there's a hollowness to his voice that tells me he's just as bad off as I am. It's bittersweet and I sniffle a little from the effort of holding back my tears.

"Bella, no. Please don't cry. Please, love. I can't... I'm driving. Let me pull over."

I shiver and wipe at my eyes. "You left your dinner? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pull you away from anything."

"Don't be ridiculous! You're much more important. Do you know how long I've been waiting to hear your voice? How hard I've tried to get someone to take me to you?"

My face lifts into a smile. "I did hear a little something about that."

"Did you?" he chuckles.

I nod even though he can't see me. "Alice, that's the Marshal I'm with now, she's still in touch with Jasper, the one you met in Forks... or in Sequim, I guess."

"Oh, yeah, I've spoken to him a couple of times. And Emmett's left dozens of messages for Alice."

"I heard about that, too."

"I'm glad. Jasper never mentioned that he spoke to you personally, but he did make sure to let me know you hadn't forgotten me."

I smile. "I haven't. Not even close... I love you." The words are out before I realize I'm going to say them.

"I love you, too, Bella... so much."

I'm unable to hold back the tears any longer, but I can hear Edward's quick, uneven breathing too and know he's just as affected as I am.

"I was worried, maybe..." he begins.

"I..." I stop because I've spoken over him. "Sorry, go ahead."

"I was worried maybe you might have started having some doubts. I mean, it's been so long and we barely had a chance to begin."

"I know... I've worried about that, too. I've been preparing myself that you might not feel the same anymore. And I wouldn't blame you. I come with a lot of baggage."

"No, Bella. I don't think that way. None of that matters to me."

I take a ragged breath. "I don't deserve your love. It will cost you so much, Edward."

"You'll give me more back in return."

His voice is rough and it hits home. _Maybe,_ I think. _Maybe I have already..._

For several long moments, neither of us can speak. I hold tight to the phone, shivering from both the cold and an excess of emotion. It's dark now and the wind is picking up. It crackles against the receiver.

"Where are you calling from, baby? Are you outside?"

"Yeah. I had to use a payphone."

"Is it dark where you are?"

"Yes, and before you ask, it's cold, too. But I really don't care. I needed to talk to you."

"Bella..." He lets out an exasperated sigh. "As much as I don't want to let you go, as much as I _loathe _the very idea, it doesn't sound like you're being very safe, baby."

"I'll be fine."

"Where's Alice? Is she with you?"

"No. I left her at our hotel."

"You're alone?" The alarm in his voice is startling, and sweet.

"I'm fine, Edward. There's a police station right down the road. It's a pretty safe town, too."

"Bella..." My name comes out as a growl.

"Edward... I'm sorry, but this couldn't wait."

He sighs heavily. "I know, and I'm so glad you called, but not at the expense of your safety or health. You should go back. Do you at least have a coat on?"

I smile. "I have a heavy sweatshirt on over a long sleeved shirt. I'm fine." My body shivers, revealing my lie. I'm just glad he can't see it.

"Maybe I can call you on this number tomorrow. Do you think you can get away again?"

"I doubt it. I'll try, but I don't want to do anything else to get Alice fired. We'll be headed back your way soon though. There's something I'm obligated to do in a few weeks. I think you are, too."

I hope he can read between the lines, because I don't want to say anything out loud about testifying before a grand jury. Paranoia runs deep at this point.

Fortunately, he seems to understand.

"Will I see you then?" he asks.

"If you want to, that's the plan. I think. Alice doesn't say much sometimes. Certain things she tells me, others she doesn't."

"I want to see you. You're all I can think about."

"I wish I could just leave and come back there... it's not like I'm their prisoner, but..."

"You're afraid," Edward concludes. I shake my head.

"Not for myself," I whisper.

"Bella, we'll be fine."

"That's not what I mean, I... I..." _I'm not the only one at risk anymore._

The words catch in my throat, my heart starts pounding faster and faster. I take a deep breath and open my mouth to try again, but a loud crash a short distance up the street startles me and causes me to cry out.

"Bella! What's wrong? What was that?"

I cover my mouth with my hand and spin around to look towards the noise. Angry voices and glass breaking accompany an apparent scuffle that's going on just up the street.

"It's okay. I'm okay," I say quickly. "There's some kind of argument going on."

"Close to you?"

"No, on the other side of the street. There's a bar and restaurant over there. I think it's..." I lean to look again and listen carefully. "I think they're fighting over a game. It sounds like it was just a good time gone bad."

"You should get out of there, Bella. Go back to Alice."

"I don't want to go yet." Tears fill my eyes.

He sighs. "I don't want you to go yet either, but I need you to be safe, baby. I think I almost had a heart attack just now."

"I'm sorry. Me, too. They startled me."

"Baby, I want you to go get in your car and go back to your hotel. Please."

"I wish I could bring the phone with me."

I still need to tell him about the baby. _Our_ baby.

"Listen, Bella... I... I don't think I can stand the idea of not seeing or hearing from you again for so long. Is the payphone you're calling from close to where you're staying?"

"Yeah..."

"Good. Say no more, I'll look it up when I get home and I'll be on a plane tomorrow." He takes a deep breath at the same time I gasp, grabbing onto the wall behind the phone for support. It's just too much to hope for.

Edward misunderstands my reaction. "Unless you don't want me to."

"No! Of course I do! I just..." I shake my head. "Are you sure?"

"More than anything. I even told my parents about you, just in case I got lucky and was able to join you."

"You what? You did?"

He laughs. "Yes, they were a little surprised at first, to say the least. But they've adjusted to the idea."

"Really?"

"They're getting there. Of course, I told them you're it for me so they couldn't say much after that. They only want my happiness... and yours. They really do care about you, you know."

"I don't know what to say... I thought for sure they would be completely opposed."

"I know. I was worried, too."

I'm stunned, and happy... and nervous. _The baby._

"Edward..." More shouting sounds from the outside the restaurant nearby, at the same time the wind decides to whip around my body once again. I shudder almost violently.

"I should let you go. You're making me nervous and you're going to catch pneumonia."

_Baby..._

"Edward, I..." I open my mouth to tell him, but realize I can't do this. I can't just blurt it out and then hang up on him!

"What is it, Bella?"

_Say something. _

"Bella?"

"Are you serious about coming up here?"

"Hell, yeah."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes, baby. I'd fly out tonight if I didn't have to drive home and then back to Seattle first."

I nod. "Okay. We have some things to discuss when you get here."

"Yes, I guess we do." He's quiet a moment. "I, uh... I don't suppose you could suggest a good hotel in the area?"

I smile, my eyes closing as hope blooms in my heart. "Try the Extended Stay near the airport. I hear it's pretty nice."

"Thank you, Bella. I will find you."

"I know. I trust you."

He hums and it's a wonderful sound. I smile and try to imagine the look on his face. Is it the same one from that night? I wonder if he's imagining it, too. Caught up in the moment, it feels like not even a day has passed.

_How can that be? How can these feelings be so strong and so sure?_

My quiet musings are eventually broken by the whipping of the Alaskan wind and the chattering of my teeth.

"Go, Bella. I'll be there tomorrow. I promise."

I exhale a shaky breath. "I'll be waiting for you."

~(~)~

I'm an odd mixture of elated and ashamed on the ride back to the hotel. It's amazing the high I feel having simply heard his voice, yet I can't help but feeling immensely guilty for not accomplishing my goal. I didn't tell him. I should have told him.

Still, I can't be all self-flagellation and no joy. He's coming for me. He'll be here. Tomorrow.

Alice is going to freak. God, I hope I don't get her fired. I hope she doesn't turn her ire on Edward either.

Trepidation takes hold of me as I ascend the stairs back to our second floor room. What will she say? What will she do? Is she going to be horribly angry with me?

I open the door to our suite with an apology on my lips, but freeze in place the moment I see inside.

"Alice?"

She's not anywhere in sight, but I can hear her rummaging around in the bathroom, and what is visible explains everything.

"We're leaving?" I shut and bolt the door behind me, panic threatening.

Alice appears, her hands on her hips and her face stern. "Welcome back."

"Are we leaving, Alice?"

She rolls her eyes. "What did you think was going to happen?"

"But now? Tonight?"

She sighs and walks over to the open suitcases on her bed. My bed is covered in all of our clothes and other belongings, an apparent inventory in progress. Alice must have needed something to manage her time, because I've never seen her pack this way before and we've traveled together a few times.

"Alice?"

"Not tonight. But in the morning, we're on the first flight out."

"Where are we going?" I'm doing everything in my power not to lose control and yell, or cry.

"Seattle." She starts throwing things in her suitcase with gusto. "I looked the other way when you asked me to, but I can't ignore what you did altogether. I happen to need my job, andI happen to like it. Not to mention that I like you."

She grabs her gun in its holster and throws it in the suitcase before letting out an exasperated sigh and pulling it back out again and placing on the night table next to her badge. She turns to face me and crosses her arms in front of her chest.

"I'm sorry," I say.

"I don't want apologies. I've obviously handled this situation all wrong from the very beginning. Did you at least talk to him?"

I look at the floor. "Yes."

"You used my cell phone?"

"No. A payphone, outside City Hall."

She makes a face. "I ought to take you over my knee..." After a moment she softens. "Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"What did he say about the baby?"

I take a deep breath. "Um, I didn't exactly... _tell_ him."

"What? Are you kidding me?"

"I got a little overwhelmed, Alice!"

She throws her arms in the air. "Of course you did! Which is why you should have just waited the three weeks I asked you to!"

"Look, Alice, I am sorry, but that's a moot point now. Edward picked up on the fact that I called from a landline and he's going to search the number and be on the first plane here tomorrow. If you could just delay our flight a couple hours, I can talk to him after he lands."

Alice gapes at me. "You cannot be serious."

I don't get a chance to answer before she spins around and huffs across the room to the tiny kitchenette where she starts slamming around in the cabinets; all two of them.

I follow slowly behind. "Please, Alice. Please do this for me."

She leans against the counter, her hands gripping the edge. "How am I supposed to explain how he found us? Or what he's doing with us when we arrive back in Seattle tomorrow?" She faces me. "Do you seriously want me to lose my job? Or end up having your case reassigned to someone else?"

I sigh and wipe my tears. "No, of course not... but I can't do this anymore, Alice. It's either wait for Edward or I walk."

When I look at her, I can see the fight has gone out of her.

"Fine," she breathes. "I'll call my boss and see what I can do. I'm fairly sure we can prove you're under significant emotional and physical duress due to your pregnancy and renegotiate things. Hopefully, I can have them bring Edward in as well. _Before_ he has a chance to get on a plane and complicate things."

"Really?" I practically bounce with joy.

Alice shakes her, but a ghost of a smile breaks out. "Yes, really."

Not surprisingly, I burst into tears, but at least they're mostly happy tears this time. "Thank you, Alice."

"Yeah, well, don't thank me yet. I still need to call this in."

She looks at me meaningfully.

I frown. "What?"

"Can I have my phone back?"

"Oh!" I gasp, laughing now. "I completely forgot!"

She rolls her eyes. "Just give me the phone, Miss Hormones."

I laugh again and dig her phone out of my purse. I hand it to her and she mutters something under her breath when she sees I turned it off. She walks past me and begins pacing while she waits for it to power up.

"I'm going to go take a shower," I tell her. I'm excited now; eager to get back to Seattle and hopefully to Edward.

Alice nods and puts the phone to her ear. I'm tempted to stay and listen in, but I'm also nervous it will go badly and I'll be crushed. I'd rather live in my little happy bubble a while longer.

Thirty minutes later, I'm exceedingly grateful that I listened to my gut instinct and showered when I did. Not only am I feeling somewhat ill again, but I can tell as soon as I emerge from the bathroom that something's up. Alice is biting her lip, watching me speculatively.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

She sighs and pats the bed next to her. "Come sit."

"Alice... please just tell me."

She waves me over. Dread and panic fill me as I move slowly to her side. "What's wrong?"

She smiles sadly. "Nothing's wrong, but... you won't be able to see Edward tomorrow."

"What? Why not?"

"The FBI has demanded that they be allowed to interview you personally about the day Cullen was shot — _before _you speak to anyone else. I guess they've been putting the pressure on our office for a while now."

"Oh, well... can't they do as soon as we get to Seattle? I don't mind telling them what I saw, not that it was much, but..."

Alice's expression stops me.

"There's something I haven't told you yet," she says.

"What?" My heart is pounding.

She takes my hand. "It's not the end of the world. Please try not to get upset."

I pull my hand away. "Just get on with it. What aren't you telling me?"

She sighs. "James Wiles has been claiming that he shot Edward out of self-defense."

"What?"

"Not only that, but he's claiming that prior to that, you fired at him first, before he had time to identify himself or draw his weapon.

"Bullshit!"

She cringes as I jump up off the bed. "Bella, settle down. Nobody believes him. The evidence even proves otherwise, but he's entitled to a defense."

"Entitled to lie through his teeth is more like it!"

Alice snorts. "Yes, he's entitled to lie through his teeth. And who can blame him? He doesn't want to go to prison. He's a law enforcement officer; prison would be a very bad place for him."

"So... he could end up walking? After nearly killing you, Jasper, and Edward!"

"Oh, no. No, he'll go to jail. At least he will as long as your testimony corroborates Edward's and there are no major snafus in the handling of the physical evidence."

"Oh."

"You know, if he were tried, he would be facing a _minimum_ of thirty years in prison? Unfortunately, he's being offered a deal. He'll get off on lesser charges and serve less time because he's testifying against the assholes who blackmailed him into doing this in the first place. Personally, I don't think he deserves a break, but... his testimony might help convict those indirectly responsible for your parents' deaths and make you safer in the process."

I inhale slowly and nod. I know all this. It's still hard to think about though. It's still hard to believe this is my life. It's hard to believe that my parents are really gone and a bunch of Romanian mobsters are to blame. It's even harder to believe that my life as I knew it is really over and that I can never, ever go back.

Alice pulls me down next to her and puts her arm around my shoulder again.

"So... the point is, your statement is a formality, but an important one."

I exhale heavily and escape from her arm before lying back on the bed. I feel sick again. _Stupid pregnancy induced nausea..._

I swallow. "How long will it be before I can speak to Edward?"

Alice lies down on her side, facing me. "A couple of days, tops. Hopefully much sooner than that."

I stare up, breathing methodically, musing. "A couple of days..."

"You've survived longer. Two months already."

"True."

"You can do this, Bella."

"Just a couple of days?"

"Yes."

"Okay." I nod. "Someone has to tell Edward."

"I've taken care of that already."

I nod again and continue breathing in and out slowly. The nausea isn't letting up. I roll on my side, swallowing again as my mouth starts to water. I look at the clock and see the likely cause of my problem. It's past eleven and I haven't eaten anything since lunch time.

"Alice..." I whisper.

"You look sick again."

I nod. "Can you...?"

"Ginger-ale? Or crackers?"

"Both, please."

She gets up and walks towards the kitchenette. It's too late though, and moments after I hear the refrigerator door open, I bolt for the bathroom.

~(~)~

The next day dawns much the same. I wake up feeling anxious, then grow nauseated the moment I brush my teeth. The awful feeling stays with me until I give into it and make a mad dash for the restroom just outside our departure gate.

"I hate this," I grumble while splashing cold water on my cheeks and rinsing my mouth.

Alice offers to get me a mint or some gum from the terminal gift shop. I look at her incredulously.

"Oh, right... the mint flavor sets you off."

Turning the water off, I pat my face with a paper towel. "I think I'm figuring out that I have to eat first and let my stomach settle. We just didn't have time before leaving for the airport."

"I know, I'm sorry. Do you want something to eat now?"

I shake my head. "I do, but I'm afraid to. What if I get sick again on the plane?"

"You have to eat something, honey."

Right now, just the mere thought of food makes me cringe. I sigh. "This sucks."

Alice smiles sympathetically and picks up my carryon before I can. "Come on, we'll find something in the gift shop."

"I can carry my bag, Alice."

She ignores me and leads me dutifully to the little store.

Seven-Up and graham crackers get me through the first half of the flight. I nap on and off, interrupted only by dreams of seeing Edward again. They leave me anxious and unsettled.

How will he react? Will he feel obligated to stay with me? How will I ever know if he's making a clear decision regarding our odd and barely-there relationship once he knows about the baby? What if he never wanted children? What if he wants to have ten more? What if we run away together and we're wrong about our feelings for each other?

I love him, I've never felt anything so strong before, but how can either of us be sure that what we have will survive outside of the impossible circumstances we've found ourselves in so far? What if we're both in love with the idea of being in love?

I swallow back another wave of nausea with the last of my Seven-Up and ask Alice to see if they have any ginger-ale on board when the drink cart comes by. Closing my eyes, I try to ignore both the morning sickness and the questions that run on a loop through my consciousness.

At some point I must doze off again because I'm suddenly standing on the porch of a small house. It's a soft green color, like moss but lighter, with white trim and shutters. The front door behind me is painted a darker green color, _wild sage,_ my brain supplies. I like it. I know somehow that I picked it out myself.

Looking out onto the small yard, I see a child's scooter discarded haphazardly in my azaleas. There's a bucket of sidewalk chalk spilled out at the bottom of the stairs and simple drawings pepper the walkway approaching the front gate. I glance around looking for the artist, eyeing the latch on the gate first to make sure it's still secure. I say a silent prayer of thanks to my husband for insisting on fencing in the front yard.

My stomach flip-flops when I reach the bottom of the porch steps. Without thinking about it, my feet carry me around the side of the house, towards the sound of their voices. Sweet soprano laughter mixes with the quiet tenor of a man whose voice I'd know anywhere—especially when he's speaking in the patient, methodical way he is now. He's teaching our child something and his voice holds the tone I well remember from his classroom days long ago. I smile and tip-toe quietly to the corner of the house and lean around, hoping not to interrupt them.

Just as they come into view, sitting side by side in the grass with their backs to me, Alice appears out of nowhere and grabs my arm. I look at her in alarm. What is she doing here?

She shakes me. "Bella... time to go."

"No," I protest, trying to break free from her grasp. _No... I need to stay here_.

"Bella... come on. Wake up."

_Wake up?_

It's only then that I realize it's all a dream. Or it was a dream. I'm drowsy and confused now, not even half awake. I blink slowly and try to correct my blurry vision and wake myself.

"Where are we?" I rasp.

Alice laughs softly. "We're in Seattle, kid. We've landed already."

I sit up and look around. Sure enough, fuzzy people are collecting their carry-ons and standing in the aisle of the plane waiting to exit. I blink some more.

"Are you okay?" Alice asks, looking at me skeptically.

I nod.

"Feeling better?"

I shrug. "I think so." I swallow thickly, my voice rough with sleep. Alice watches me warily another moment.

"Okay, well just sit tight until the rest of the passengers de-board. Do you need anything? This?" She lifts an unopened can of ginger-ale.

I shake my head. "Do you have any water instead?"

She nods and pulls a bottle out of the bag at her feet. "Here you go."

"Thanks."

"You were really out of it."

I yawn and she laughs. I shrug again. "Better than me being sick the whole flight."

Alice wrinkles her nose. "Very true."

The plane empties slowly, so of course, the first stop Alice and I make after getting off is the bathroom. At least this time, it's not to throw up. I actually feel surprisingly good and positive about how things are going. I wonder what Edward is up to and how he was approached about all this. _He does know, right?_

The question makes me antsy, but I wait until we exit the airport and climb into a very official looking black SUV that's waiting for us along with two additional Marshals and a police escort. As soon as we're on the road, I turn to Alice.

"Are you sure Edward knows what's going on? I mean, he's not on his way to Juneau right now is he?"

"Of course not, Bella."

"You're positive?"

"Yes." She rolls her eyes, but adds nothing.

After another moment I can stay silent no longer. "Where is he?"

She smirks. "He's either at the district office being brought up to speed, or nearby in a hotel somewhere until we're ready for him, or possibly still in Forks if he needed some time to get his things together. Somehow I doubt that last one, though."

"Oh."

I look away, my heart hammering. "We're headed to the district office, too?"

"Yes..."

"Okay. Good."

"Relax, Bella. Soon."

_Soon..._

It's enough to start my stomach fluttering, which, in my condition is not a good thing.

By the time we pull up outside the federal courthouse in downtown Seattle, where the U.S Marshal's office is located, strong feelings of anxiety have added to the nervous, excited fluttering from earlier. The fluttering quickly grows to churning, and before I know it, morning sickness has reared its ugly head once more.

I spend the better part of the day with my head on a desk in some poor soul's office; a trashcan not far away. Alice has every possible remedy for nausea brought in for me but nothing works for long, if at all. I want nothing more than to lie down and sleep through it, but there are things to be done; obligations to be met if I want to see Edward.

So I suck it up. I get through an interview with the US Attorney's office without complaint. I speak with the FBI Internal Affairs people while steadfastly ignoring the waves of nausea that probably are more to do with recalling that day's particular events, than they have to do with being ten weeks pregnant.

All in all, I do pretty well... at least until they ask me if I have any questions. I automatically respond with the most obvious one.

"Why did Wiles do it? I mean... I know he was blackmailed, but what would make a formerly good cop turn like that? My father would never have–"

The words catch in my throat as images and thoughts of my father's last moments, of his refusal to bow to the whims of a criminal no matter the consequences, flood my mind. His desperation is my last memory of him.

His desperation and his blood... thick, dark, flowing freely, and congealing as it left his body.

_Oh, God..._

I bolt from the table ignoring the cries of protest and concern that follow me. The bathroom isn't far, which is a blessing because I have only seconds before my body will purge what little food I've managed to keep down today.

With the inevitable retching comes the crying. Deep, painful sobs overtake me when there's nothing left to throw up. I'm overwrought and my stomach hurts— the actual muscles _hurt _from the force of everything. My arms shake as I hold on to the institutional white toilet for support.

There's a commotion outside the bathroom door, and just as I try to push myself up off the floor, Alice throws the door open.

"Bella!"

She's at my side in an instant, helping me to my feet. I guess I didn't take the time to lock the stall.

"What happened? Are you okay?"

I've got one arm looped through hers and the other wrapped around my tender mid-section. She looks completely freaked out.

"I'm fine," I say weakly. "I just got overwhelmed."

"You don't look fine. You're pale as all hell."

"Gee, thanks."

She eyes me up and down as she leads me to the sink. "You're shaking... This is worse than this morning. What's going on?"

I lean against the counter. "It was a lot. Talking to them and reliving everything, you know? I just let my mind wander and..."

"Here," Alice says, turning the water on for me and grabbing some paper towels. I dip my hands into the water and then lather them with soap.

Alice is right, I am shaking. It's obvious while rubbing my hands together in the sink. A shudder runs through me.

"All right, that's it. Young?" Alice calls.

A woman with dark hair and olive skin opens the bathroom door. She eyes me in the mirror momentarily before looking back at Alice. Alice faces her.

"Tell Crowley and Marks their interview is over. Get Uley and have him bring a car around and tell Marcus we're taking her for the night. She needs to rest."

"Sure thing," the woman answers. She nods at Alice and offers me a small smile before departing. Alice turns back to me.

"My new partner." Her face is completely neutral.

I, on the other hand, flush. "I'm sorry."

Alice scoffs. "I swear, woman, if you apologize one more time..."

I smile weakly. She sighs and moves my hair from my face, wiping my brow with a damp paper towel. "Better?"

"Yeah."

"You're still shaky."

"I probably need to replace everything I've thrown up today."

Alice nods. "Let's get you out of here."

We don't make it two steps before I remember myself. "Edward?" I ask.

Alice swings the bathroom door open. "He's here, actually. He had a lot of–"

She doesn't even get a chance to finish her thought before I hear him.

"Get your hands off of me! If something's wrong with her I need to be there."

"Sir, please go back in the office. We'll..."

I dart out into the hallway followed closely by Alice.

I sway a little on my feet while my heart begins to pound inside my chest.

He's here.

He's _there,_ not twenty feet away from me.

Yet, he's being held back by two men I haven't seen before. From their uniforms, I process that they must be building security, but another individual stands between us, a man in a suit much like the ones the rest of the various law enforcement officers and lawyers in the building wear.

I open my mouth to call out to him just as Edward's eyes lift and meet mine.

_Oh, wow... so green. _I'd forgotten.

"Bella..."

His name leaves my lips silently as I stare in awe. _He's here_.

He starts towards me as I take him in, my own feet frozen in place. Then it all goes pear-shaped.

"Sir, back-up."

"But..."

"Sir. I've told you to wait in the office."

"But she's right there!"

"Sir..."

"He's cool, Uley."

Uley doesn't pay attention, his dark, weathered hand skirts beneath his jacket... onto his holster, his _gun_. I hear his safety click.

_NO!_

"Bella?"

"Hey! Uley, back off!"

_Stop! _

"Bella?"

"Uley, come on, leave him alone!"

My feet move suddenly, motivated by the alarm in Edward's eyes and the hand on Uley's gun.

"Bella!"

I sway. My legs fail to support me.

Alice doesn't see, she's too busy dealing with her overzealous co-worker.

But Edward sees.

He sees and he's there, racing to reach me before I hit the ground.

I just wish I knew if he made it.

~(~)~

_"Bella!"_

_ "Shit! What happened?"_

_ "She just went down. What's wrong with her? She looks like a ghost."_

_ "She's been sick. Uley, make your ass useful and call an ambulance. Someone get Marcus out here."_

_ "She's sick? Crap, from being outside the other night?"_

_ "I don't know. Isabella... can you hear me?"_

_ "Bella, baby? Open your eyes."_

_ "Brandon, what's going on?"_

_ "She passed out, sir."_

_ "Did she throw up again?"_

_ "Yes, sir, I think it was pretty bad this time."_

_ "Probably dehydrated. I'll get a team to escort you to the hospital. Be sure to check out the staff over there, and list her as a Jane Doe. No mess-ups this time."_

_ "Yes, sir. Thank you. Young and Uley are fine to accompany us... as long as Uley can follow orders."_

_ "The only one with that problem around here is you, Brandon."_

_ "Yes, sir."_

_ "And you, Cullen... You're going to have to stay with us." _

_ "No way. I'm going with Bella."_

_ "Sorry, no can do. You're officially a witness now and I can't spare the extra security to keep an eye on you."_

_ "But..."_

_ "Sorry, kid. Welcome to the program."_

~(~)~

* * *

_**So, it's recently been pointed out to me that I leave you guys with cliffies all the time, and, oh look! A cliffie! *facepalm* Let me assure you, this was not meant to be a bad one. Bella's had a big day is all. She'll be fine. **_

_**Now, Edward... there's another story. Poor boy. So close, and still so far. **_

_**Until next time, **_

_**~Ginnie**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**Wow! Some of you are a little mad at Marshal Uley! And... a few of you are pretty mad at me too! I'll live though; especially when you've gifted me with my 1000th REVIEW of "Arms" this week! Thank you so much for your support! :D**_

_**Thanks also go to **__Katmom__** for the pre-reading & hand-holding, and to **__SueBee__** for sneaking time at work to beta. (Shh... just don't tell her boss. ;-) )**_

_**Disclaimer:**__** This is still a work of fanfiction. I still don't own Twilight, its characters, or Christina Perri's lovely songs. No copyright infringement is intended.**_

_**Now, where were we? Oh, yes, someone had need for an ambulance.  
**_

* * *

Chapter 20:

_BPOV-  
_

When I wake, it's to the sound of an engine and the prick of a needle.

"Ow..."

I hear a low chuckle. "Welcome back. Ready to rejoin the land of the living?"

I blink and look around only to find I'm lying face up in the back of an ambulance.

_Oh, joy..._

"Where are you taking me?" I rasp.

I glance at the paramedic sitting next to me. "We're taking you in to the ER to get checked out. Seems you passed out."

A noise on my other side catches my attention and suddenly Alice is leaning over me. She smiles, but the paramedic isn't having it.

"Ma'am, you have to sit in your seat."

Alice rolls her eyes and pulls out her badge. "Not today, I don't."

I watch the two of them stare each other down. Alice wins, of course.

"How are you?" she asks, turning back to me.

"Um... I'm a little confused as to why I'm in an ambulance, and my head hurts."

"I'm sorry about that. You passed out. Edward mostly caught you, but you went down hard."

"Edward? Where is he?"

"He had to stay at the courthouse. Marcus wants him taken back to his hotel for the night. How is your stomach? Are you having any pain anywhere?"

"No." I try to shake my head and realize it's being stabilized by some sort of restraint. I reach up and touch the plastic. "Lovely. When can I see Edward?"

Alice smiles weakly. "Soon. But really quick before anyone asks you any questions..." She glances up at the paramedic on my other side. "You are not to answer anything not directly relating to how you feel physically. No name, no history except that of a medical nature, nothing. You're Jane Doe. Understand?"

I nod, except that I don't because of the blocks on either side of my head.

"Okay."

She looks up at the medic. "You understand?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Okay, then." Alice pats my arm. "I'm going to call a certain someone who is probably beside himself."

Tears well up. "Okay," I whisper, my voice barely audible. The paramedic gives me a moment and then begins his inquisition.

"So, Jane... How old are you?"

"Twenty-three."

"Are you taking any prescription medications?"

"Pre-natal vitamins."

"You're pregnant?"

"Yes."

"How far along are you?"

"Ten weeks."

"Any abdominal pain?"

"Just nausea."

"Are you nauseated right now?"

"No."

The questions continue right on into the emergency department at the hospital. The doctors and nurses there have their own interests and ask more questions. I get a few strange looks and the occasional exasperated groan when I fail to answer right away.

Fortunately, Alice is never far from me, neither is her new partner, or the jerkoff who nearly gave me a heart attack by going for his gun back in the courthouse. Eventually, the doctor has to examine me, so the jerkoff is forced to wait outside. I politely ask Alice to make sure he stays there the rest of the time we're here.

Soon enough, I'm taken to a room for IV fluids and twenty-four hours of observation. They'll be watching me overnight in lieu of any kind of imaging to check the bump on the back of my head. It's small, but of course everyone is being over cautious.

Later that evening, once I'm settled into my room, I finally have a chance to ask Alice to let me speak with Edward.

She raises a speculative eyebrow at me. "Are you sure that's a good idea? He'll have a million questions for you and I had to lie through my teeth earlier to avoid spilling the beans." She smirks. "Well, specifically, just the one bean."

I smile and know she's thinking of the repeat ultrasound I had performed an hour ago. My little bean is doing just fine despite making me sick round the clock. Still, Alice has a point and I have to think about how I'll handle Edward's questions. In the end, the exhaustion of the day gets the better of me and before I make a decision, I'm fast asleep.

~(~)~

Alice is uncharacteristically formal when she arrives back at the hospital the next afternoon. Young, who I've learned is named Emily, has been with me all day in her absence. Uley, too, has been posted at the door, along with several local law enforcement officers that have been there to relieve him when he's needed a break. It's been boring for all of us and by the time a nurse comes in with my discharge papers, we're all anxious to leave.

Once I've been given the doctor's instructions for me, Alice asks me if I'm good to go.

I lift my eyes to hers and nod, giving her a half-smile. I'm very happy this exercise is over, but nervous about seeing Edward again.

Nervous is bad. Nervous equals fluttering in my stomach, fluttering in my stomach triggers nausea, and nausea... well, I really don't want to go there again. Thanks to a little help from IV fluids and some ginger tea that was recommended by one of the nurses, I've managed to avoid feeling too terrible today.

Until now. _Cue the fluttering..._

Swinging my feet over the side of the hospital bed, I stand and face Alice. She holds a hoodie out for me. When I've got it on, she hands me some oversized sunglasses as well. She stands in front of me with her hands on her hips for a beat too long.

"What?" I say, looking up from my zipper.

"Your hair is a mess."

"So?"

"And your lips are chapped."

I reach up and touch them. They seem fine to me.

Alice goes to the small duffle bag that she brought for me last night and grabs a brush and some lip gloss — lip gloss that she's hassled me about in the past, but I've always refused to wear.

"What are you doing?" I ask her.

"Helping you. You'll thank me later."

Suddenly, my anxiety ratchets up all over again. I know why she's doing this. At least I think I do, but before I can ask, she uses her freakish strength to turn me around by my shoulders and brush my hair for me.

"I can do that myself," I protest.

"I know. I'll just do it better."

"Alice..."

"So this is how it's going to go," she says, obviously ignoring me. "When we leave this room, you'll follow right behind me. Agent Young will have your flank, and Agent Uley will follow behind us. The local police will also escort us down. I know it seems like overkill, but it's procedure. That, and we can't be too careful with you it seems."

I blush and my hands go to my navel almost instinctively. "I'm not that fragile."

"No, you just scared the hell out me and everyone else yesterday."

I sigh and Alice finishes my hair. She turns me back around and has lip gloss on my lips before I can even flinch.

"There." She looks me over and notices the way I'm holding my stomach.

"Are you okay?" she asks, her concern evident.

"I'm fine." I move my hands. There's not even a noticeable bump there yet, but I still feel self-conscious that she caught me.

"If you're fine, why do you look like that?"

"Like what? You're making me nervous!"

She rolls her eyes. "You should see Edward."

I scowl. "And that would be why I'm nervous!"

Alice laughs and then unexpectedly hugs me. It's not her usual M.O., so it's a little awkward and over fast.

"You'll be fine. All three of you. Just relax."

I let out a shuddering breath. "Yeah, I guess. Maybe I'll feel better when we get in the car."

"That's the idea..." she says, walking away.

"What?" I ask, stepping after her.

"Nothing," she says quickly, smiling too widely. Once again her cheerfulness is unnerving, and I get the distinct feeling she's hiding something from me.

I'm in no mood for surprises.

"What are you up to, Alice? I thought you were all about being cautiously optimistic, emphasis on _cautious. _Now you're practically giddy."

She rolls her eyes, zipping up my bag. "I'm not giddy. I'm happy things appear to be working out... despite the minor detour last night."

I narrow my eyes at her.

"Oh seriously, Bella, give it a rest. We're on a tight schedule."

I look at her strangely, but nod in compliance.

My nerves kick back in, causing my stomach to turn a little as I put my sunglasses on and pull my hood up over my head. Deputy Young, who I'd almost forgotten was there, stands from her seat in the corner of the room and falls in line at my side. Alice hands her my duffle bag.

"You look much better today," Emily offers with a polite smile. It's the most she's said to me yet.

"Thanks. I can take that." I nod at the bag.

"It's no trouble," she responds, putting her mirrored glasses on and effectively ending the discussion.

I shrug and follow Alice, who knocks twice on the door to let Uley know that we're coming out. Moments later, I can feel multiple sets of eyes on me as I walk down the hallway surrounded by a small army of black and navy. People, even the doctors and nurses who treated me, stare curiously at the mix of suits and local law enforcement as we pass by.

I slink back from the attention, glad for the shelter provided by my protectors. They seem unbothered by the scrutiny and walk steadily, but determinedly, through the corridors. By the time we reach the elevators, however, my heart is pounding and I'm glad the onlookers can't follow us any further.

I'm led through the bowels of the hospital until we come to a service entrance that is both magnetically sealed and guarded by a security officer. Outside the sliding glass doors, I can see the black SUV parked at the bottom of the ramp and I breathe a sigh of relief. Alice says something into a radio I hadn't noticed her holding before and then nods for the security guard to let us pass. The doors whoosh open then and I move as if on auto-pilot.

A sense of calm takes over, easing my anxieties. It's like somehow my body knows that I'll be okay as soon as I get in the vehicle and get out of here.

Breathing steadily, trying not to think too far ahead of this event, I follow Alice outside. She opens the car door wide and steps aside. Deputy Young lets go of my arm and Uley helps me climb up. I watch the floor and my feet so I don't trip and then I'm sitting. My bag appears on the floor and I scoot over, expecting someone to climb in after me. Instead, the door slams shut behind me and a small movement next to me catches my eye.

It's a shoe. A brown leather Skecher.

Nobody in law enforcement wears brown Skechers.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Uley and Alice get in the front seat of the car, but my real focus is on the sight in front of me. The sight that has me gasping and losing all composure.

He's here!

Edward's here in his brown Skechers, dark wash jeans, and grey Henley with the sleeves pushed up. His lips are turned up into a sort of smile and his green–grey eyes are crinkled. They swim with emotion that's raw and unrestrained as my name falls from his lips.

"Bella..."

With that one word he has my own eyes swimming as well. The tears make it hard to see, and I furiously blink them away, slightly afraid that he might just disappear. I reach out, inhaling sharply as my fingers meet warm flesh and short scruff. He obviously hasn't shaved since yesterday and it reminds me of the way his face felt after our night together.

I flatten my palm against his cheek and my thumb connects with his soft, parted lips. The slight smile on his face widens as my free hand moves to his chest; his warm, very solid chest.

I sigh. "Hi."

"Hi." He covers the hand I placed on his chest with one of his own and lets out his own weary sounding sigh. "Are you all right?"

"Yes." I nod. I lean towards him.

He slides his hand up my arm. "God, I've missed you."

My lips tremble and my heart clenches causing my tears to spill over.

"I've missed you, too."

The words come out brokenly. His voice hits me like a gale of wind and I'm completely undone, unable to stop the flood of memories and feelings associated with him. Body wracking sobs threaten to escape me as I let my head fall heavily against his chest and grasp onto his shirt desperately.

His strong arms engulf me and lift me up. "It's okay, baby. Come here. I'm here now."

I nod and go eagerly, my legs sliding over the seat until I'm nestled in his lap. My face finds the crook of his neck as my arms encircle him. He holds me so tightly in return that it nearly restricts my breathing. It's just what I need.

I'm on the verge of hyperventilating. So many emotions rush through me that it's impossible to contain them and my thoughts. Broken pieces of my inner monologue spill out of me.

"Thank God... I'm so glad... I can't tell you... I thought... Oh, Edward, there was so much blood." I shake my head violently, the memory of that awful day coming back too easily. "You didn't have a pulse. And I thought... I just... they drugged me... the plane..."

I feel his hands on my face, lifting my head, forcing me to look at him. His eyes are wet, his expression pained.

"Stop. Bella, stop. I'm okay, baby. Look at me."

I blink. _Green... so green._ I focus on his eyes.

"That's right. Look at me. I'm fine now."

I inhale slowly and nod. I keep nodding, telling myself the same thing. _He's fine. He's here. He's holding me. He's fine. He's here. He's holding me. _

More tears fall, my sobs quiet, but do not slow. I missed him so much that, even now, equal parts relief and remembered agony wash over me.

_Wow... is this because of the hormones?_ I feel so out of control. I cry harder.

"Oh, baby. Bella, shhh... it's okay."

He pulls me tighter to him.

"Shh, Bella. Shh... Don't cry. Please? We're together. Don't cry."

He pushes my hair away from my face and kisses my cheek. He nuzzles his nose close to my ear and whispers more soothing words. "I'm here, baby. Feel me here with you."

I nod and squeeze my arms around him. "I feel you."

"Good... now breathe."

I do. I breathe him in and my tears slowly, steadily abate. His lips brush my hair and he takes a deep breath. I follow suit, trying to calm down. He inhales slowly again and I do as well, following his example as we exhale together. His breath is soothing to me. The flex of his fingers against my body is comforting.

_He's real. _

Slowly, I tilt my head up and pull back. Edward's green eyes find mine, his fingers leaving my hair to trace my face. I stare, my own eyes dancing over his features, taking him in. He's still so beautiful despite looking tired and worried —worried, but happy and relieved at the same time.

_Like me. _I smile, unable to get over the fact that he's really here.

Awed and grateful, I reach out to touch him again. My hand is shaky as I lift my fingers to his face and touch his jaw, tracing it from one side to the other. I continue along the curve of his cheek to his brow, then down his nose and over his lips. He lets out a shaky breath and kisses my fingers.

My breathing matches his. It's both shaky and rapid.

"You're really here," I whisper.

"So are you."

I smile. He smiles quickly, but it fades. His runs the back of his hand over my cheek.

"Are you really all right? I was so worried about you last night. When you passed out..." He shakes his head, his eyes closing briefly. "I think I can guess what you must have gone through when I was shot. It's not the same at all, I know, but for a few minutes there..."

"I know... I'm okay though."

Edward is quite obviously about to ask more about why I had to stay in the hospital but, mercifully, Alice's voice interrupts him. It's only then that I realize we've been driving for some time.

"Hello, Sir. Yes, we're about ten minutes out. Yes, Young is ahead of us and all checks have been made. Of course. Yes, I'll let you know. Yes, sir. Sure thing."

When she hangs up, Uley says something to her about an exit. I briefly look out the window behind Edward before his gaze captures mine and everything else fades into the background. All I can see is his eyes. All I can feel is his arms. All I hear is the sound of his slow, measured breaths.

We stare at each other for some indeterminate amount of time before my thumb sweeps across his full bottom lip. His hands find their way into my hair as he glances briefly at my mouth before tilting my head back. There is no further hesitation.

Eyes close and breaths hitch. His lips are soft and warm and pressing perfectly against my own. Tongues tease and arms hold tighter.

I part my lips fully, rejoicing when he moves his tongue against mine. I take as much of him in as I can and then give back, kissing him with a desperation I've not known before. It's all raw need and frenetic desire. His kiss is a stark contrast to mine, or perhaps it's the perfect answer to it. It's like a fire in the dead of winter. It's life, and light, and hope.

There are no words needed as we reacquaint ourselves in this way. We are perfectly mated in our passion for each other, but also in our need for reassurance and comfort through the physical connection we still share. The scars of the last two months, of the day we almost lost each other forever, begin to heal.

Eventually, the urgency between us lessens and our mouths slow to meet in a series of soft, tender caresses.

"Bella..." he breathes in between kisses.

I moan at the sound of my name falling from his lips and I try to answer. I can feel a smile on his face as I am obviously just as unwilling as he is to pull away to speak.

"Love... you..." he mumbles, doing a better job than I.

I laugh against his lips and kiss him harder, deeper. Before it can get too out of hand, Edward pulls back, catching my face between his hands. "I really do, Bella... I love you so much."

My eyes grow instantly misty. "I love you, too."

I can barely manage the words. They mean so much... _he_ means so much. Without him, I would have nothing right now.

Which reminds me how very much I stand to lose when he learns my secret.

What will he do when I tell him? What will _I _do if he doesn't want the one and only thing that has brought me any amount of joy or hope in last two months? What if it changes his feelings for me irrevocably?

The change in my mood is profound and I don't have to see the concern etch across Edward's face, or hear it in his voice, to know that he can sense it.

"Bella? What is it? What's wrong?"

I smile weakly at him. It's watery and unconvincing, but I try to soothe him while I sit up so we can talk. I scoot back a little and he locks his arms around me.

"What... Where are you going?"

I sigh and look down. "I need to talk to you. I need to," I swallow. "I need tell you something."

He holds me closer. "Tell me anything, but don't pull away from me. I just got you back and I want you right here."

_God, he says the perfect things._ I sigh.

"I want to be right here too, but..." My voice falters.

"Bella, you can talk to me like this. Stay."

He lifts my face and his eyes are both worried and curious. They bounce back and forth over my features as he looks for the source of my unease.

"Edward." I take a deep breath, but the words are so hard to say. My whole body trembles with anxiety.

"Sweetheart, you're starting to scare me a little. Just say it. Whatever it is, it can't be worse than thinking I might never see you again."

I smile sadly. "I know, and I'm so sorry. This is just harder than I thought."

"What's hard? Is it why you were in the hospital? Are you sick? Have you changed your mind about me? What?"

"No! No, nothing like that! I..." I search his eyes, and his gaze is steadying. There's so much love there. Much more than any one person deserves.

_Maybe it's enough for two people?_

Turning myself in his arms, I raise myself up and shift one leg behind me. As if he can read my mind, Edward lifts me easily and arranges me so that I'm facing him, straddling his lap. I sigh and wrap my arms around his neck while he tucks a wayward strand of hair back behind my ear.

"Better?"

I smile sheepishly. "Much."

"So what's going on?"

"Well, I'm not sick. Not really. I was just dehydrated yesterday and my blood sugar dropped too low. That's what the doctors say happened, anyway."

"You'd been throwing up. I heard them talking about you."

I nod and cup his cheek. "Yesterday was a little rough for me. I got upset answering some questions about the last time I saw you."

"God, I'm so sorry, baby. I wish you hadn't had to go through that."

"Me too," I whisper. "I'm only sorrier you got hurt in the first place. So sorry... You'll never know how much I wish I could go back and change it. If I'd known, I would have shot James Wiles when I had the chance."

"Hey... Don't talk like that. It's not your fault. You did what you thought was right and you saved my life regardless, Bella."

I nod and lower my head to his shoulder, feeling overwhelmed once more. "I'm still the reason you got hurt. I'm the reason you're here now, in this ridiculous situation."

"Well, besides the ridiculous thing, that last part is true. If you hadn't fought for me, I would still be alone and miserable in Forks."

I smile at his attempt to placate me and get the feeling this will be an ongoing difference of opinion between us. He kisses my forehead and rubs my back softly while we sit quietly wrapped up in each other.

Several minutes pass before the vehicle slows a little and I feel his arms tighten around me.

"You should be wearing a seatbelt, baby."

I smile and slip beneath his. It's _sooo_ not safe, but a quick look out the heavily tinted windows tells me that we're exiting the freeway now. Soon, we're pulling into some kind of truck stop or large gas station. Uley drives around the main building to the carwash bays while Alice speaks to someone on the radio.

Edward watches with me as we pull into one of the large truck-size bays. We still have a police escort and one patrol car blocks each end of the bay. When we've stopped, Alice turns around in her seat.

"So, we're waiting for the all clear at the hotel we've arranged for you while we're in the area. There are still some things we need to go over with you both before we talk permanent relocation, but not tonight. I thought you two could use a chance to get caught up_._"

Alice raises an eyebrow and I know she's giving me an opportunity to give Edward all the facts before anything is set in stone. I nod and look down, my cheeks flushing a little.

"I'm going to run inside and get a few things. Uley says the restaurant here is fairly decent. Do you want anything?"

I shake my head.

"I'm good," Edward replies.

"Anything for later?" Alice insists.

I think about it. "Umm... maybe something to drink?"

She nods and smiles before turning to exit the vehicle, but I'm surprised when Uley follows her out.

Alice grins at my expression. "He'll be right outside, so just knock on the window if you need anything else. We shouldn't be here long. Ten, fifteen minutes tops."

When the doors both slam shut and the locks engage, we're finally alone. I turn back to Edward and he removes the seatbelt from around us, shifting slightly beneath me as he pulls the belt from his lap.

Unbidden, my body shudders against his as he moves. I close my eyes and savor the sensation of his strong hands wrapping around my waist again, pulling me closer.

His nose brushes mine and he begs me to open my eyes. When I do, his gaze is ardent and utterly spellbinding.

_Oh my... _

I'm drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

Tilting my head up, I seek him out, not surprised at all when he captures my mouth with his. Our lips part instantly and our tongues tangle together once again. I slide my hands slowly, seductively, up his neck and into his hair. He groans and flexes his hands against my back. I can feel the urgency and sense he's struggling not to slide them down, over the curve of my hips and beyond. I press myself against him greedily, growing bolder with my own touch in hopes that he'll get the message that I want him to touch me.

Mercifully, he does.

Edward pulls me even closer, one hand firmly on my backside while the other tilts my head to grant him greater access to my mouth. When we break apart to breathe, he trails his lips down my neck, across my collar bone and back up again. I tug on his hair as he blazes a trail along my jaw to my ear. I can hear his breath coming out in pants, much like mine. His voice is rough with desire and ragged with emotion when he speaks.

"Oh God, I've missed you, Bella... so much. I've ached for you."

He sucks on my earlobe and gently bites down on the sensitive flesh there. We both groan as I respond to the feeling by rolling my hips forward, grinding against him without another thought. His hips lift in answer and the increased contact causes my shirt to ride up as we move together.

I gasp and suddenly remember myself as my navel comes in contact with Edward's. I need to talk to him. I'm supposed to be talking to him now.

Not that he seems to mind what we're doing instead of talking. His mouth moves against mine again and again, and I accept him like the weakling I am. The way our bodies move together is intoxicating.

Struggling to stay coherent, I surreptitiously slide my hands down over his shoulders and onto his chest, moving myself back to create some space between us.

I brush my thumbs over his pecs in hopes of distracting him from my little move, but it backfires. He wraps one arm possessively around my back causing his fingers graze the skin of my waist. He pushes his hand under my shirt and hoodie, seductively stroking the overheated skin beneath.

I yank my face away from his suddenly. "Stop."

He freezes in place, his formerly heavy eyelids now open in surprise. His swollen lips are still parted and moist. "What...?"

"I'm sorry," I pant, interrupting him. "I'm so sorry, but I actually need to tell you something. I shouldn't have..." I shake my head. "I got carried away. I'm sorry."

Edward nods as though he understands, but I know he must be significantly confused, not to mention aroused beyond measure.

He shifts uncomfortably beneath me. I grimace when I feel his hardness brush against my leg. I think I might just qualify as evil at the moment.

"I really am sorry."

He grins, chuckling silently. "I know, baby. I got carried away, too."

_Baby..._

I smile halfway. "I love you."

Edward sighs and pulls me flush against him, nuzzling my neck with his nose while his arms wrap around my back. "I love you, too. More than you know. Now talk to me before I spontaneously combust."

I can't help but laugh at his words. "Okay, but first..." I sit up and start unzipping my hoodie. "Speaking of combusting."

He chuckles while I slide out of the too warm garment. I throw it off to the side, much more comfortable in the simple black V-neck shirt I donned when I left the hospital. I wish I could do something to make Edward more comfortable, but force the idea away just as quickly. That will come later... I hope.

Reaching for his hands, I twine our fingers together and give them a soft squeeze. Edward squeezes back.

"What's up, baby? What's going on?"

I take a deep breath, and then lock my eyes on his.

"I told you that I was dehydrated and my blood sugar dropped yesterday, but I didn't tell you why."

"No, you didn't. You did say you weren't really sick."

"And I'm not. At least, not in the way you might be thinking. I've been ill, but it's just, um..." Here goes nothing. "It was morning sickness."

I wait for his response, eyes downcast. The silence is deafening, and it takes me a few moments to brave looking up. When I do, my stomach drops. Edward's mouth is slack and his eyes are distant.

He blinks once. "Morning sickness."

"Yes."

Confusion etches across his perfect face.

"You're pregnant?"

"Yes," I repeat. "But please believe me, I never meant for this to happen. There was a... um, an issue with my birth control. I didn't know I wasn't protected."

His brow wrinkles together. He glances down at my abdomen, then back up at my face and down again. He stares.

His silence is unnerving. It's so unlike the Edward I know.

"Please say something."

Inhaling quickly, he blinks rapidly as if he's been asleep. I'm trying hard to hold it together, but a single tear spills over and runs down my cheek.

"Hey..." he says, taking my face between his hands. "Don't cry."

He kisses me softly, and then kisses away my tears, trailing his lips over the wetness on my cheek. My eyes flutter closed, allowing him to caress my eyelids, my forehead, and my nose before going back to my mouth. When he finally pulls back, I keep my eyes closed, unwilling to end the tender moment.

"Bella?"

"Mmm?"

"Open your eyes."

I do as he asks. He smiles gently.

"Are you happy?"

"Am I happy?" I don't understand where he's going with this.

"Do you want to have a baby?" he clarifies.

_Oh._

"It's just that... well, you don't seem very happy."

I shrug. "I've been too worried to be happy. I want to be... I _really _want to be, but I just..." I sigh and look away. "I don't want it without you, and I wasn't sure if, well... I didn't know if you would want–"

"I want _you_, Bella." He forces me to look at him. "I love you and I'm here, which, roughly translated, means I want to build a life with you no matter what the circumstances. This news is definitely unexpected, but not bad. Not to me."

"No?"

"No."

The word is a whisper against my lips and then he's covering my mouth, sealing his declaration with a kiss that grows until I can feel it in my toes. It's slow, and deep, and full of promise. When we part, I'm left feeling weightless in his arms.

He loves _me_. He wants _me_. And by some miracle, I think he wants our baby too.

"You're too good to be true."

He chuckles. "You won't always think so."

"Try me. You're taking this better than I did."

He sighs and looks down. His fingers toy with my hair. "I'm just sorry you were alone when you found out. I should have been there."

I smile and shake my head. "Don't. There's no point in dredging up things that will only hurt one or both of us. The only thing that really matters is where we go from here."

I bite my lip and watch his face nervously. He nods slowly and then looks up.

"How far along are you? I mean..." He grins and his cheeks actually color a little bit. "I know how far along you are, but what did the doctor say? Is everything going okay down there?"

He gestures between us and I giggle. "Everything down there is fine. I'm ten weeks, well almost eleven weeks pregnant now and–"

"Wait... eleven weeks? It hasn't been that long. Has it?"

I laugh. "I said the same thing to the doctor in Juneau! I guess they go by when your last period was since most couples have to guess as to when exactly they got pregnant. It's called gestational age, and you add two weeks to the date of conception, so I'm ten weeks and five days."

"Wow... You remember exactly."

"It's kind of hard not to." My cheeks heat.

"It is." His voice is husky.

I swallow and then he startles me by laughing.

"What?"

He smiles sheepishly and shakes his head. "It's nothing really. I just remembered something. It's actually not very funny."

"What is it?"

"Um, well, when we were in the shower that night... you were so gorgeous and so enticing..." His fingers brush the exposed line of my collar bone. "I can remember thinking quite clearly that if I didn't control myself, I was either going to hurt you, or get you pregnant."

My breath escapes me in a rush.

He chuckles ruefully. "I suppose it was somewhat prophetic that I didn't completely freak out at the idea. Not that it would have been easy to keep my hands off of you, but we weren't using a condom, so..." He shrugs. "I should have been more concerned than I was."

I blush. "Yeah, me too."

"Do you regret it very much?"

"I don't regret it at all." I swallow nervously. "Do you?"

"Not at all. I'm worried about you. I'm worried that this isn't what you would have chosen if it hadn't just happened, but... being with you? It was the best night of my life."

I shiver, my eyes closing involuntarily. "Me, too."

He kisses my forehead and pulls me close to him. I tuck my head in the crook of his neck and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

Edward is quiet a moment and then he whispers softly in my ear. "I never could have imagined this outcome when I woke up this morning, but I can't tell you how it feels..." He moves back to look at me. "I'm so glad I'm here. I'm glad I didn't miss this because I want it, Bella. I want this baby with you. I want everything with you."

"I want that, too." I smile and kiss his neck, running my fingers through his hair while my emotions run in circles. Relief, elation, disbelief, contentment.

I sigh. "It's hard to believe you can feel the same way about me after I nearly got you killed. For that alone I wouldn't have blamed you for walking away. Still, here you are. Despite getting shot and despite me telling you that I got pregnant when I was supposedly safe."

"I love you, baby. That's all there is to it."

"You make it sound so simple."

He kisses my forehead. "It is simple."

I snort. "You do realize we are sitting in an unmarked car, surrounded by federal agents who are about to escort us God knows where, for God knows how long?"

He chuckles. "Exactly. It's just you and me, and now this baby. Nothing else matters. Wherever they take us, however long it's for, we'll have each other. Simple."

Another long moment passes with nothing but soft touches and sighs. Then,

"What about your family? They'll worry about you. They'll hate me."

"No, Bella. They'll know I'm with you, and I think they'll be glad we're together. They love you too."

"I almost took you away from them forever once, now I may do it a second time. How can you say that?"

"Because they've been living with me for the last two months. They know, sweetheart."

"Everything?"

He chuckles. "No, not everything, but they know enough. Don't worry, it'll be alright."

"I hope so."

"We'll find out soon enough."

Uley knocks on the window and I hear Alice's voice outside.

"I guess we will."

Edward lifts my head and examines my expression. When he sees it's relaxed, maybe even a little playful, he grins and nudges my nose with his before kissing me. We continue to kiss and exchange soft touches until it's time to go again. Eventually he insists I put my seatbelt on, but I ride in the middle seat, tucked under his arm. He holds me as close as he can, his fingers running through my hair until I feel myself starting to drift off, completely at home in Edward's arms.

~(~)~

* * *

_**Yes, that's right... The cliffie-queen has left the building. :D**_

_**Until next week my loves... (That is, unless you'll all be too busy watching **__Breaking Dawn: Part 1 __**in the theaters to read an update. ;-) ) **_

_**Thanks for reading! **_

_**-Ginnie **_


	21. Chapter 21

_**Oh... my... Wow! Amazing is all I have to say about Breaking Dawn: Part 1. Sure, nothing is ever going to be perfect, but it was close enough for me. Love, love, LOVE!**_

_**Now for some "Arms" love! **_

_**Disclaimer: I still own nothing. At this moment, I'm not even sure I own my own heart. It's still off in happy-perfect-forever land with Robward and Krisella. ;-) **_

* * *

Chapter 21:

What feels like minutes — but turns out to be hours – later, I awaken to find Edward's verdant eyes gazing at me. It's dark and warm, and I can tell from the all too familiar hum of a motel room heating unit, we're obviously no longer in the car. We are, however, still wrapped up in each other.

Lying face to face, our heads share the same pillow and our legs are tangled together beneath the same blanket. His arm is thrown over my waist and I have a hand fisted in his shirt.

I blush when I realize how tightly I'm holding onto him and release my grip, smoothing the material down where it's become wrinkled. His hand covers mine and stills it.

He smiles softly. "Hi."

"Hi."

"You're awake."

My eyes grow misty. "You're here."

"So are you."

I smile, but it's as though a dam has broken inside my heart.

"Hey... what's wrong?"

I shake my head, unable to articulate what I'm feeling. Instead, I lift my arms up and fold them around his neck, pulling myself as close to him as I can.

It's not close enough. "Hold me," I whisper.

He wraps me in his arms, doing as I ask. "Like this?"

I nod against his shoulder and squeeze tighter. I need more. He answers my silent request and tightens his grip as well, causing me to slide almost completely beneath him.

My tears spill over, wetting his shirt, but I am helpless to stop them. My breakdown in the car was just the tip of the iceberg. I've been holding things in for so long. For months, not just since Edward was shot, but ever since my parents died, I've been keeping so much inside. I've merely been surviving.

Now, in the safety and comfort of this man's arms, I'm _feeling._

Relief and joy, pain and grief, anxiety and fear, peace and love; they all course through me at the same time.

It's overwhelming; too fast, too much, and yet I feel like everything I've been holding onto is being stripped away just so I can be built back up again.

_Catharsis._

When the last of my pent-up emotions have finally been dumped out and sorted through, the tears slow and eventually stop. A sense of peace like I haven't felt in years radiates through me. Breathing is suddenly much easier, especially when each breath is full of Edward.

Without a word I release my iron-like hold on his neck and lower my head against the pillow. One of his strong hands stays beneath my head, his body nearly on top of mine.

His gaze is questioning.

_Are you okay?_ he seems to ask.

_I am now,_ I answer, nodding.

I smile lovingly, wiping away the moisture on my face with some embarrassment. He catches my hand and links our fingers together before lowering his mouth to kiss the tears from my cheeks.

I take a shuddering breath. His lips are soft, their caress electric.

He pulls back and stares. His eyes are searching, seeking something I can't quite define. Reassurance, maybe?

I lift my head, nudging my nose against his. His breath hitches. The electricity is there, too, even in such a small touch. Pulling back, I look at him. His eyes are heavier, darker now, but still seeking.

I lift my head again, kissing him softly with my eyes open. His eyes flutter closed and the hand on my hip tightens. Slowly, watching him, I kiss him again and again. His body noticeably relaxes, his hand on my hip being the only exception.

Pressing my lips against his once more, I slide our joined hands above my head while my free hand runs down his neck and over his back. He groans and his face pinches with concentration or restraint; I can't tell which.

Lowering my head to the pillow, I rub soothing circles over his muscles and wait for him to open his eyes. They actually shut tighter as his breathing grows labored. Perhaps it's a result of my fingers sliding beneath his Henley and blazing a slow trail across his lower back, from one hip to the other.

When I finally do get the honor of seeing his heavy-lidded gaze, it shines with desire, love, and most of all concern. I smile and lay my palm flat against the skin of his back before pushing his shirt up deliberately.

He drops his forehead to mine, his chest heaving and his hand more possessively holding my hip. His long fingers graze my bottom where they reach around. I arch my body against him.

"Are we alone?" I whisper.

He answers with a nod, gazing longingly into my eyes. _Yes._

I keep my eyes locked on his. _Good._

His shirt is first to go, followed by mine. Then gradually, reverently, he helps me peel away the rest of our clothing until we are skin to skin. He covers my body quickly, his mouth finding mine and his hands sliding up my arms until our fingers are once again tangled above my head.

Our tongues dance together, languid and unhurried as I subtly part my legs. He moans when he settles between them, then pulls back to look at me.

His eyes ask me the question. _Are you sure?_

I nod and bend my knee ever so slightly. _Yes._

Edward releases one of my hands and runs his fingers down my body. After a momentary pause to circle and caress my breasts, he grips my backside and kisses me deeply. His hands continue their journey downward, over my hip and along my leg. Our kiss stretches on and we slowly, gently, begin rocking together. Our bodies shudder and shiver as we move closer and closer to our unspoken mutual goal.

I part my legs a fraction of an inch wider and he lifts my leg over his before raising his arm back above my head. With eyes open and foreheads touching, he slides his fingers back between mine at the same time he slides between my legs and enters me with a near silent moan. I gasp and squeeze his hands, pushing them down into the bedding as I arch against him.

_Slow... Deep... _

In and gasp. Out and kiss.

_Closer... More... Closer..._

Lips hover and breaths mingle. Arms shake and fingers ache. Backs arch and hips rock.

_Slow... Don't rush... See me... Feel me... Hear me..._

"I love you, I love you, I love you..."

His forehead drops to my shoulder, his body trembling as he moves over me. I release his hands and wrap my arms around him, holding myself to him, holding him to me. He lets out a sound somewhere between a sob and a groan and presses his mouth to my neck.

He sucks on the overheated skin there and then laves a trail to my mouth. I tangle a hand in his hair and greet him with my tongue when he reaches his destination. We kiss and kiss and kiss, our lips moving in time with the rest of us until we reach our crescendo.

Breaking away, we both gasp for air and fall. Together. Panting, gasping, and trembling, pleasure pulses through every cell of our conjoined bodies, again and again and again.

~(~)~

Being pressed nose to nose with Edward — sweaty and breathless— is heaven. If I had my way, I'd stay here for eternity. To my delight, or perhaps because of an inability to move otherwise, his hands stay tangled in the hair at the nape of my neck and his lips remain close to mine. We both need the time to recover from our coupling, but obviously do not desire any space.

"Bella..."

"Mmm...?"

His lips move against mine, his tongue brushing them so softly, I might have imagined it. "Are you okay, love?"

I nod, attempting to take a deep breath and sigh in satisfaction. Unfortunately, my lungs can't manage the feat with Edward on top of me. I half giggle, half cough. "I'm wonderful, but I can't breathe."

"Oh, shit... Sorry, baby." He rolls to his side.

Laughing fully now, I go with him. Soon we're wrapped up in each other all over again, only now I can breathe.

"Is that better? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, not at all. I was pretty happy how we were before, just..."

He kisses my forehead. "I was smothering you."

"Smothering is such an ugly word. You were just cuddling me."

He chuckles quietly and I smile, snuggling close to him.

His hands ghost up and down my back. "Are you really all right?"

"I'm more than all right. I'm sorry if I freaked you out with my little breakdown there."

"You did scare me a little. I didn't know what was wrong, or what to do."

"You did everything you should have. All I really needed was you."

His lips brush my forehead again. "I needed you, too."

I rise up on my elbow and gaze at him with all the love in my heart. "Are you okay?"

His fingers twist gently in my hair, pulling me to him for a tender kiss. "Now that I'm here with you? More than okay."

Our mouths meet again, repeatedly, each touch soft and sweet.

I roll onto my back and Edward is not far behind. We lie close together, staring at one another and kissing intermittently in the darkness. Long minutes later, he pulls away and smiles down at me.

"This feels too much like a dream."

I grin playfully. "Do you dream of being naked in bed with me often?"

He sputters out a laugh. "Yes."

I giggle. "Really?"

"Best night of my life, remember?"

"I do remember. I remember it well, as a matter of fact." I point my toes and run a foot up and down his calf, teasing him.

He smirks, but then sighs and stills my leg, growing more serious.

"I don't know what I would have done if things hadn't worked out like this. I never would have been able to look at another woman without thinking of you, let alone touch someone else."

I cringe internally at the mere idea, not just of him touching another, but the idea of ever even looking at another man myself. I couldn't do it.

"I know. I would be the same," I say, leaning up to kiss him.

He deepens it and leaves me breathless when he pulls away.

"I was so afraid I'd find your feelings altered. I hoped for the best, but I didn't know what to expect until you called the other night. Thank God you did."

I smile, but my eyes tear up once again. "I was worried you'd have figured out I wasn't really worth it. I'm still afraid that will happen."

He looks horrified. "Bella, you can't be serious."

I shrug. "It's not like we really got a chance to know each other the way a normal couple would, and now... Well, as happy as I am that you are here, if you go with me, our lives are about to get turned upside down. _Again._"

Edward's gaze bores into mine. "That doesn't have to be a bad thing, Bella. Every couple has challenges. Every road has unexpected bumps. That doesn't mean it's not worth the journey. _You_ are worth the journey."

I flush. "I just... I don't think I could bear it if I lost you again someday."

"Baby... I'm not going anywhere. I spent all day yesterday having every possible worst case scenario thrust in my face by the Deputy Marshal in charge of witness security for the whole state of Washington. And you know what? I'm still not going anywhere. I'm with you until you wish me otherwise."

I wrap my arms around him and stifle a sob. Edward holds me as only he can while I try not to cry. I fail, of course, but when I'm done, he lovingly kisses away my tears for the second time in an hour.

Just before things start to get heated between us once more, he pulls away.

"I have a little bit of a surprise for you."

I blink. "Uhh... What kind of surprise?"

He smiles. "Well, hopefully one that helps you understand what you mean to me."

"You didn't have to do anything for me to understand that."

"Well, I wanted to, and it doesn't matter because it's already done. I planned to show you when we first arrived, but you were so exhausted. I couldn't possibly wake you."

I bite my lip and try not to get emotional over how perfect he is. I also try not to think too much about what he could possibly have up his sleeve. Unfortunately, his half-excited, half-nervous countenance makes that nearly impossible. My heart gives a little stutter of anticipation.

"Would you like to take a shower while I order some dinner? Alice said to give her a call when you were up. What sounds good?"

I take a breath and let it out slowly. _Oh, no..._ The mere thought of food is enough to bring on my morning sickness. I've been fine up to now, but as soon as I think about it I feel a little unsettled. I know I'll need to eat soon, but nothing really sounds good. Well... except maybe one thing.

I frown and bite my lip a little in embarrassment.

"What is it?" Edward asks.

"Nothing. Just a craving, I guess."

He laughs. "Oh, no. Don't tell me you want pickles already?"

"Eww! No." I swat at his arm, my face twisted into disgust. "Way to make me want to gag, though."

His eyebrows go up as he tries to ascertain if I'm serious.

I laugh. "I'm fine. For now. I just want McDonald's."

His face goes blank. "McDonald's?"

"Yes. I want a plain cheeseburger and a small vanilla milkshake."

He looks confused, maybe even a little disappointed. "Okay... but surely there's a better place to get that for you."

I shake my head. "No, I want McDonald's."

"Okay... McDonald's it is then." He still looks befuddled.

I can't help but giggle. "It's just that I know what to expect from them. Small restaurants are unpredictable and my stomach can't handle the unexpected right now."

He sits up and sighs. "Whatever makes you happy, baby. I guess we're limited in our options anyway, so... if that's what you want, it works for me, too."

I begin to sit up, but Edward stops me. "Wait. Don't move."

"What?"

"Close your eyes for me."

"Why?"

He hovers over me. "It's part of your surprise."

I'm seriously tempted now and my head turns to the side almost without thinking about it. Edward grabs my chin and holds my face so I can't move.

"Please?" he begs. "Just give me five minutes once you're inside the bathroom and you can come out and see."

_Oh, wow... _His beautiful eyes are pleading.

"Okay."

"Thank you." He kisses me and leans close to my ear. "Now close your eyes and keep them closed."

I take a shuddering breath and do as he requests. Moments later, he's scooping me into his arms and standing up. I yelp and fight the urge to open my eyes.

"I've got you," he murmurs. "We're there already."

I hear the squeak of a door and then a light flicks on. I flinch even though my eyes are closed. It's a stark contrast to the complete darkness of the other room.

"Ouch," Edward laughs, apparently in the same boat as I am.

He sets me on my feet and kisses my forehead. "There's a robe on the back of the door when you're done."

"Where are we that they have robes in the bathroom?" I start to open my eyes and look around, but it's still very bright and I end up with a hand over them anyway.

"Alice got them for me."

"You had her buy robes?"

He chuckles and kisses my cheek. "They were her suggestion and also a part of the surprise, but like I said earlier, we're sort of doing things out of order now. Just keep your eyes shut tight until I close the door and then give me at least five minutes, okay?"

I take a nervous breath and nod. "All right."

"Keep your eyes closed until I'm gone," he warns.

"I will if you kiss me before you go."

He chuckles and I can feel his body relax. "I think I can live with that."

I smile as his hand disappears from my face. He places it on the back of my head and wraps his other arm around my body, making me shiver as he dips me back. He lays one on me, Old Hollywood style, and then leaves me standing there, eyes closed and in a daze.

Once the door clicks shut, I open my eyes and allow them to adjust to the light while I slow my breathing. The first thing I notice is the newness of the room. It's not swanky, but it is pristine. The neutral colored walls and similarly colored tile floors look untouched. The black granite vanity top and moderately upscale fixtures shine. The towels are fluffy and the bath accessories are name brand.

_Hmm... I take it back, this place is a little swanky. _

As soon as I've acclimated to the light, I'm relieved to see my toiletry bag is already in here, as is what I assume to be Edward's. I open my bag and brush my teeth, then my hair before putting it up to get in the shower. I really don't feel like dealing with wet hair later, but I definitely want to freshen up and shave my legs again before rejoining the man I'll be sleeping next to tonight.

By the time I'm finished showering and am wrapped up in the smaller of the two robes hanging on the door, I'm fairly certain it's been far longer than five minutes. I knock on the door anyway, and open it slowly.

"Can I come out now?"

I hear what sounds like drawer sliding shut and then Edward clearing his throat. "Sure, come join me."

I take a deep breath and swallow back the nervous butterflies before opening the door all the way. As soon as I do, what I see takes my breath away.

Candles.

Dozens of candles.

And Edward.

Edward looking nervous.

He smiles sheepishly and walks towards me at a slow, but steady pace. I step tentatively into the room and try to ignore the way my stomach flip-flops at the sight of the man of my dreams by candlelight. He's beautiful. Moreover, what he's done for me is beautiful.

Simple, white pillar candles of varying heights cover nearly every flat surface available; the nightstands, the dresser, the entertainment cabinet, the half-wall by the door. There's a separate sitting area with a desk, and across from that, a small granite countertop with a sink and a half-size refrigerator below. More candles are strewn across those surfaces as well.

Serving as the lone source of light in the room, they create an atmosphere that is both romantic and sensual. The only thing missing is music. Music playing softly in the background would set the tone and help me deign Edward's intentions. Sultry jazz, for instance, would take it in the sensual direction. Classical piano would be perfect for romance.

Nervously I look back to Edward for a clue. He smiles and reaches out for me with one hand.

I take it and glance around again before meeting his eyes.

"What is all this?"

"Surprise?" He shrugs, looking uncertain.

I smile. I can feel it now. _Romance. _

I reach up on my tip-toes and put my arms around his neck, kissing his lips. "Thank you. No one's ever done anything like this for me before."

"Really?"

I shake my head.

"That's a tragedy, love."

I laugh. "That's the life of a single girl."

"Single no more. I promise this won't be the last time. Minus the fast food. When you're feeling better, I'll do better than McDonald's."

"Hmm... I may hold you to that." I press my lips to his again. "But this is beautiful, Edward. It's perfect. You're perfect."

He shakes his head. "I don't know about that... I just wanted to do something special for you. For us."

My emotions swell. "Thank you."

He leans down and kisses me softly. "Are you hungry?"

I wrinkle my nose. "Sort of."

"Is it because of the baby?"

I blush lightly. "Yeah. Whoever dubbed it 'morning' sickness obviously had little experience with it."

"So it's worse at night then?"

"Sometimes. Strong smells set me off and dinner foods seem to be more aromatic. The worst part is, I never know what will bother me until it's too late."

"Yeah, Alice warned me about onions, garlic and coffee already." He chuckles.

I grimace. "Thanks for reminding me."

He chuckles again and rubs my shoulders. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Why don't you come sit down?"

He leads me over to the sitting area and has me sit on the small sofa while he retrieves my milkshake from the small refrigerator.

"My Lady..."

"Thank you."

"Your cheeseburger is probably cold. Do you want me to warm it up?"

I swallow the milkshake in my mouth. "No thanks. Lukewarm is fine."

He nods and sorts through the fast food bag that I hadn't noticed. "Okay... here you go. Mickey D's finest."

I laugh and take the little yellow and red bundle from him.

Unfortunately, twenty minutes later, I learn that lukewarm cheeseburgers are not my friend. Or maybe it was the half dozen French fries I stole from Edward that did it. In any event, I make a humiliating return trip to the bathroom not long after we finish our not-so-gourmet meal.

Edward is a trooper through the ordeal. Not that I let him in the door until I'm sure I won't get sick in front of him. He carries me back to the bed, which he's made, and surprises me by having a plastic cup full of ginger ale waiting for me.

"I kinda figured that's why there are three bottles of the stuff in the fridge."

I smile gratefully and sip on it until my stomach is settled. Edward sits on the floor in front of me and plays with the hem of my robe while he watches me.

I grow self-conscious. "What?"

"Nothing. You're beautiful by candlelight."

"So are you." I sigh. "I'm sorry if I ruined the mood, by the way."

"No, sweetheart. You didn't ruin anything. And technically, even if that were true, it would be just as much my fault as yours."

I blush and giggle softly, looking down. "That's true enough, I suppose."

"I'm still in shock a little, to be honest."

I glance at him nervously. "Are you?"

He nods. "I think it's just going to take some time to sink in. I mean, I know you are, but..." He shakes his head, trying to find the words. "I don't know."

"If it makes you feel any better, I feel the same way. Other than being sick and crying all the time, I really don't feel so different. And the concept of a baby hasn't really set in even though I've seen it with my own eyes. Oh!"

I look up at the same time Edward does. "You've seen it?"

"The ultrasound! I'm so sorry. I forgot!"

I hand him my ginger ale and scramble off the bed, looking around the dimly lit room for our belongings. "Do you know where my duffle is? The one that I had at the hospital?"

"It's in the closet. I'll get it."

"No it's fine. Just stay put."

It doesn't take me long at all to find what I'm looking for. Both ultrasound photos are in there. The new one is in my discharge packet from the hospital. The old one is in my handbag, which is also inside the duffle.

Taking a deep breath, I turn around and return to my spot on the bed in front of Edward. I reach over to the nightstand and fumble with the lamp for a moment until I can figure out how to turn it on to its lowest setting.

When I look back down at a blinking Edward, I have to laugh. _He'_s biting _his _lip.

"It's okay, they won't bite."

"They?" His previously squinting eyes grow to the size of saucers.

I blanch and feel my stomach dip when I realize how he took my words.

"No, no, no... I have two _pictures_. There's only one baby." I hand him one of the pictures. "Here, see for yourself."

Tentatively, he reaches out and takes it from me. It's the first of the two, the gestational age on the image says "seven weeks, five days" and it's an almost indistinguishable blur of black, white, and other shades of grey.

"This is from a few weeks ago. That's the, um, the uterus." I trace the shape with my finger for him. "And that's the baby. Or it's supposed to be."

I make a face. It still looks like a blob to me. The second ultrasound is much better. It's clearer and it's in profile, which makes everything more distinguishable.

"This one was taken last night." I hand him the second image even though he's still staring at the other one, trying to make it out.

"Last night?" he asks, taking it from me.

I sigh. "Yes. I'm sorry you weren't there. I just didn't think it was right to dump that on you over the phone and then ask you to come for a sonogram."

He nods and blows out a breath. "Hmm... That would have been pretty... shocking."

I smiled sadly while he looks at the profile shot of our baby.

"There will be more ultrasounds, if you want to be there at some point."

"Yeah? That would be... Wait, what am I looking at now?"

I laugh under my breath and point. "This is the crown of the head, the nose, chin, and belly. Those little things are the arms."

He nods and examines it a while longer. I don't know what to say, so I stay silent.

"And he's healthy? Or it's healthy?" he asks finally, his face twisted into a worried frown.

A lump rises in my throat. "Everything's just as it should be."

He exhales a breath and meets my gaze. His eyes are glassy. "Good."

I start to move towards him at the same time he pushes himself off the ground towards me. My arms go around his neck and his around my waist. He stands, taking me up with him, and holds me as tightly as he dares. I can tell he's being careful.

"I won't break."

He takes a ragged breath and nods, slowly increasing his grip on me.

"I could have missed this, Bella."

"I know... Why do you think I ran away from Alice?"

He chuckles and kisses my neck. "You're amazing. You saved my life. You fought tooth and nail to get back to me. And now..."

He sets me down, and looks at me in wonder. My breath hitches as his fingers brush over the curve of my cheek.

"Now you're having my baby."

I nod and smile through teary eyes. I ask him the question he first asked me. "Are you happy?"

He smiles serenely and lowers his mouth to mine. "Only one thing could make me happier."

"What?"

He shakes his head and presses his lips to mine softly before pulling away. "Come sit."

Once I'm seated where he wants me, he leaves my side only to turn off the bedside lamp I'd turned on. When he returns, he kneels before me, never taking his eyes off of mine.

My heart stutters. "What are you doing?"

"Confessing."

I stare at him in confusion.

He grins crookedly, but nervously. "Bella, I um, I realized something the morning that I was shot. Well, I actually think I knew it the night before really, but I never had a chance to tell you since..."

He squeezes my hand and I nod, squeezing back and telling him silently that I know what he means. He smiles sadly and continues.

"Everything happened so fast, and at the time I was more worried about how we would handle things if you were to stay in Forks and continue living as Anna Bella. So when I suddenly thought that I wasn't going to get a chance to tell you, I may have accidentally blurted out a question that should not have been thrown out there while I was basically dying in the back seat of my brother's car."

I gasp.

"Unfortunately, I don't really remember the exact circumstances leading up it and I honestly can't remember what, if anything, you said in reply, but..." He takes a deep breath and meets my gaze. "Well, I'd very much like to know."

My chest heaves as I struggle to maintain my composure. Tears fill my eyes again, even though I'm sick and tired of crying. Edward smiles tenderly and takes my face between his hands, steadying me.

"I love you, sweet girl. More than my own life. I would have given it gladly to save you then, and I would gladly lay it down again for you now. I _am_ laying it down for you now."

He turns away from me and opens the top drawer in the dresser behind him. He reaches inside and, faster than I can see, he's removed something and is facing me once again. I blink back tears and panic. It's obvious where this is going, but I honestly never expected it. I have half a mind to doubt this man's sanity, and half a mind to doubt my own.

_Is this real?_

His nervous laughter makes me believe it is.

"I wasn't sure I was going to do this now, tonight I mean, but I guess if there's anything I've learned from this whole ordeal, it's that you shouldn't waste a single moment."

Taking my left hand in his, he opens my palm and places a small velvet box in the center. My heart flies into my throat, pounding wildly, and I'm unable to even look at what's inside.

"Bella... Isabella... Anna Bella... whatever Ella you decide to be in the future... " I laugh unexpectedly and he smirks before growing serious again.

"I know that we haven't really had a chance to get to know each other in the way a man and woman in love traditionally would, but I also know that I want to spend the rest of my life getting to know you. Whatever name you might take in the future, wherever you go, I'd be honored if you would consider sharing your life and your last name with me.

"Will you marry me?"

I inhale a sob when the words are out. I'm stunned.

Except that I'm not.

Yes, my mind is a jumble of questions, hormones, and plain old self-doubt. But in the center of it all is the certainty that I love this man. It's only when I'm wrapped securely in his arms that I feel like myself again. It's in his arms that I'm home. And it's only in his arms that I can find the strength to voice my answer.

Trembling, I slide off the bed and into Edward's embrace, burying my face against his neck.

"Yes."

His body freezes in place. "Yes?"

I nod and whisper it once more, closer to his ear. "Yes."

He inhales quickly.

Pulling back to look at him with my red, swollen eyes, I answer again. "Yes."

I guess I must have taken too long to answer him because now he looks stunned. "You're saying yes?"

I laugh lightly. "Yes!"

It takes a moment, but his face breaks out into a blinding smile. He shouts and picks me up, spinning us in a circle.

The words and motion are so unexpected that my stomach gives a lurch, but it's not a bad one. My laughter grows. He stops when he hears me giggling and lowers me to the ground in front of him.

Eyes alight, he cradles my face and kisses me passionately. The sheer adoration pouring from him touches me all the way in my toes and I melt against him, accepting him in every way I can. We're both trembling when we part; breathless and smiling.

"You're so beautiful," he murmurs.

I feel my face flush.

"You are, Bella. I feel like the luckiest man alive right now."

"I love you." It's all I can say.

He brushes his thumb over my bottom lip. "As I love you."

We stare at one another a moment longer, and just as I rise up on my toes to kiss him, he speaks.

"Would you like to see if your ring fits?"

I gasp. I completely forgot about the small box he placed in my hand!

Horror washes over me. I'm immediately mortified and were it not for the low chuckle and highly smug look on Edward's face, I'd probably start crying again. Instead, I stand there with red cheeks.

He leans down and kisses each one. "Don't be embarrassed. You've done wonders for my ego, love."

Standing straight, he winks at me and I almost fall over from lack of oxygen.

Moments later, Edward laughs when he's unable to locate the discarded piece of jewelry. He gets down on his knees to search beneath the bed and dresser, which is where he ultimately finds it. Pulling the missing black box out from under the dresser, he snaps the box shut and turns back to me.

I bite my lip almost painfully as he kneels before me once more. He takes a deep breath and smiles playfully, rolling his shoulders back.

"Okay. Take two."

I laugh unexpectedly and then cross my arms in front of my chest because I'm nervous. He looks up at me from under his eyelashes and opens the box slowly. I try keep my gaze locked on his, but I can see the sparkle out of the corner of my eye.

_Oh, my..._

I glance down.

"Holy crap..."

Slapping a hand over my mouth, my eyes nearly bulge out of my head.

Edward stays silent and I look at him in question. He smiles uncertainly.

"Do you like it?"

_Like it...? _

The ring before me isn't something one _likes_. It's utterly breathtaking.

The band is white gold and simple in design. It's thick but elegant, with two tiny sapphires set on either side of the diamond. And the diamond... The diamond is huge! It's at least twice the size of the one my mother wore all my life and twice as shiny as well. It also happens to be an oval cut stone, which has always been my favorite, though I don't see how Edward could have possibly known that. Nevertheless... it's absolutely stunning.

"I don't know what to say, Edward. It's beyond beautiful."

"Then you like it?"

I give him a watery smile. "I love it."

He seems to sag in relief and then holds his hand out for me.

"May I?"

I take a deep breath and nod, placing my left hand in his.

He beams as he slides the ring into place on my finger and seals it with a kiss.

My hand shakes lightly in his as I look at it. It's so pretty.

It shimmers in the candlelight, causing Edward to toy with it when he stands. I squeeze his fingers and smile at him. Tucking a wayward strand of hair behind my ear, he pulls me close to him. Blinking back more tears, I stare up into his jubilant, green eyes.

"Are these happy tears?" he asks.

I laugh, causing a few of them to spill over. "Very happy."

"Good." He leans down and presses his lips to mine. "That's good."

He kisses me again and I open for him instinctively, sliding my arms up his chest and around his neck. My fingers tangle in his hair and he groans. Then, without breaking our kiss, he scoops me up as if I weigh nothing at all and carries me back to bed.

~(~)~

* * *

**_*sigh* _**

**_*double sigh* :D_**

* * *

_****FYI- The U.S. Marshal Service is actually split up into two federal districts in the state of Washington. I reduced it to one district simply to excessive wordiness in the above chapter, however, I am aware there really are two. Additionally, if anyone is curious, here's a little civics lesson: **_

_**In the United States, individual states are divided up into federal judicial districts. Some states have only one, some have several. There are 94 in total. The U.S. Marshal Service is the enforcement arm of the federal court system here in the United States and each judicial district has a presidentially appointed U.S. Marshal directing it. Those 94 directors oversee a force of nearly 4000 "deputy" Marshals and other criminal investigators who have a range of duties. Among them, witness security. **_

_**According to their website, over 8,300 witnesses and 9,800 family members have been relocated since the program began in 1971. Also according to their website, "no Witness Security Program participant following program guidelines has been harmed while under the active protection of the U.S. Marshals Service. **_

* * *

_**Until next time! -Ginnie**_


	22. Chapter 22

_**Here it is. Once again, my apologies for the unexpexted absence, but I hope you enjoy this one. **_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns the world of Twilight, I'm just playing around it. :-)**_

* * *

Chapter 22:

_BPOV-_

Somewhere in the periphery of my mind, I know I'm not dreaming the warm lips behind my ear, nor the long, toned body pressed against my back. Fingers ghost over my shoulder and down my arm. I'm pulled closer, held tighter. Still, I sleep blissfully on.

Safe, secure, adored.

There are more kisses, subtle touches. I don't think they're meant to wake me, but the strong hand that slips over my hip and onto my belly does just that when an uncomfortable amount of pressure is put on my apparently full bladder.

I inhale quickly and groan. Not because it hurts, but because I don't want to wake up—or explode.

I grab Edward's hand quickly and pull in up to the valley between my breasts. Our fingers slip together naturally and it causes the very new piece of jewelry on my hand to turn a little. I smile and Edward hums, his lips finding my shoulder quickly.

His kisses are slow and lazy. Then they're gone and I feel him bury his face in my hair and breathe deeply. He exhales slowly and I wonder if he's just as caught in that place between sleep and consciousness as I am.

"Are you awake?" I whisper.

He inhales my hair again and sighs. "Barely."

I turn in his arms, just enough so we can see each other. His eyes open slowly.

I smile softly and watch him watch me. He smiles back and closes his eyes again before leaning in to press our lips together. I part my mouth just enough to allow him to suck lightly on my bottom lip before pulling away. I hum contentedly, and follow after him, seeking out one more kiss. I have the good sense not to deepen this one and expose either of us to morning breath.

There's also the tiny matter of having to go to the bathroom.

Edward pouts when I tell him I need to get up. "Don't stay away long."

I giggle and slip from his arms. "I'll try not to."

Finding my discarded bathrobe in a pile on the floor, I put it on and cross the room quickly. Once my most pressing issue is taken care of, I stand in front of the vanity and marvel at the girl staring back at me.

In the blissful aftermath of last night, her eyes shine and her face is full of color instead of being pale and drawn. My lips continually turn up, and I almost can't look at myself without wanting to squeal. If it weren't for the ring shining and sparkling in the soap and water as I wash my hands, I might not even believe any of it was real.

Blowing out a breath to steady myself, I pick up my hairbrush and brush the tangles out of my hair. All the while, flashes of the previous day's events fill my mind.

The sight of Edward's brown shoes in the back of the SUV outside the feel of that first kiss after so long. Telling him that I'm having his child. The acceptance and love in his eyes as he told me he wanted me, no matter what. Falling asleep in his arms. Falling apart in his arms. Being put back together.

I put my hairbrush down and close my eyes. More images overwhelm me.

Candles. Ultrasound pictures. Edward on bended knee. Saying yes. Everything that came after.

My cheeks flush with the memory of our bodies coming together, expressing things that words never could: Gratitude; his eyes as he entered me. Worship; his touch as he moved with me. Devotion; his voice as he roughly whispered an endless string of "I love you's".

A knock on the door startles me and alerts me to the fact I've been daydreaming for quite a while. I splash some cold water on my face and rinse my mouth quickly before opening the door.

Edward —his flannel pants on inside-out— stands on the other side looking sleepy and concerned.

"Are you sick?"

I shake my head, amused and touched. "No. Just lost in thought."

He frowns slightly and takes my hand. "What are you thinking about?"

"You." My face heats immediately. "And this." I hold up my left hand.

Pulling me to him, he wraps me in an embrace. "I was thinking about you, too. And that." He lifts my hand and kisses the knuckle above my ring.

I giggle. "It's very shiny under the lights in there. Just so you know."

He smiles. "Is that so?"

I nod against his chest.

"Are you done in there?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Back to bed?"

I sigh. "I'd like that, but I should eat before it gets much later. You go ahead, I'll be right there."

Surprisingly, he doesn't argue with me, though he does kiss me again before letting me go and trudging back to the bed, collapsing into it with a sigh.

I shake my head in amusement and make my way to the so-called kitchenette to find that it's surprisingly well-stocked. Alice has obviously been shopping for me, or had someone else do it before we arrived yesterday. I make a mental note to thank her and heat some water in the microwave.

When I return to bed with a cup of tea and a small bowl of instant oatmeal, Edward is already passed out again, his breathing slow and steady. I sit on the edge and watch him while I eat.

Just like the first time I saw him sleeping, he's on his stomach, shirtless with his head half buried beneath his pillow. He has one arm under it, and one thrown over it. He looks so much the same as he did then, but I can see the light pink hue of new skin and scar tissue peeking out from under one arm pit and on the back of his shoulder.

I swallow a bite of oatmeal thickly and have to put it down. Reaching for my tea, I try not to allow the guilt and remorse that haunted me during the last two months take hold again. Edward is right. That's all done now, washed away.

He's here. I'm here. We're alive, happy, and moving forward.

That's what I tell myself... what Edward would tell me. But it's still hard.

It's hard when I think about what could have happened and what he almost gave up for me. It's hard when I think of what he's giving up for me now and what we're giving up on behalf of our unborn child.

Family. Heritage. History. Stability.

We'll all have to live with the scars, and not just the physical ones.

I finish my tea and place the cup on the nightstand next to my abandoned breakfast. I'll probably regret not eating more later, but for now I just want to be close to him again. I want to quiet the thoughts in my head and the ache in my heart.

As though he senses me, he rolls onto his side and pops out from under the pillow.

"Hey."

I smile and slide under the covers. "Hey."

"Get something to eat?" he whispers groggily.

"Yeah."

I scoot over and into his open arms, kissing his shoulder when I'm settled. I trace the tender skin with my finger and kiss it again.

I want to say that I'm sorry; I want to ask if it hurts him still, but I don't want to get any more emotional on him than I already have been.

As he has in the past, he reads me so well.

"It doesn't hurt," he says softly. "I got lucky."

I run my fingers over it again. "Lucky?"

"Yes, lucky. Very lucky."

He pulls me closer and tilts his head down. I raise my chin and our lips meet in a series of soft, sweet kisses. I have to resist the urge to deepen them– to push on his shoulder and roll him on to his back and shed my robe once again.

"Are you tired?" he whispers huskily against my mouth.

"A little," I answer, my breath coming faster. "Are you?"

"Exhausted, but not so much that I don't want to be close to you."

"Close is good. I like close."

I feel his lips twitch in amusement as he continues kissing me, teasing my bottom lip with his tongue. Smiling, I accept him enthusiastically and tease him in return.

My robe stays on—just barely– as fatigue wins this round and we fall asleep again, tangled together and blissfully content.

~(~)~

A day later, I've barely left the bed unless it's been absolutely necessary. Besides having our reunion and engagement to celebrate, Edward and I both seem to have some sleep to catch up on. Of course, we knew the peace and quiet wouldn't last forever.

Sometime in the afternoon, the bed dips beside me and Edward's warm breath ghosts over my mouth. I don't know when it was he left my side, but I don't really care either and lift my chin towards him automatically. My reward is the feel of his soft lips against mine and I sigh as he parts his mouth and slides his hands into my hair.

We kiss tenderly, but eagerly, until a loud knock sounds at the door and breaks us out of the moment. Confused at the intrusion, I blink up at Edward while he lets out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a lament.

"I tried to get her to come back tomorrow, or at least after you woke up on your own, but she says it can't wait any longer."

I wrinkle my nose. "Alice?"

He nods. "Yes. She's quite insistent."

I roll my eyes. "Alice is always insistent. It's her way."

He laughs fully and sits back, allowing me room to stretch and untangle myself from the sheets. As I become more aware of my surroundings, I realize that he must have been up for at least a little while before Alice arrived. Not only is he wearing fresh clothes, but his hair is damp and he smells like clean boy.

"How long have you been up?"

"Not long. I only got in the shower after Alice came knocking the first time. You looked so peaceful, though. I didn't wake you."

"Do you know what she wants?" I ask as another knock and verbal warning echo through the door.

Edward shouts for her to give us five minutes.

"I guess she's brought dinner and paperwork. There were still a couple things I was supposed to sign the other day but didn't get to after you were rushed out of the courthouse in an ambulance. _And…_ she says there are some things we have to decide and agree upon together."

My stomach flip-flops a little. "Together…"

He grins sheepishly and takes my hand in his, toying meaningfully with the ring on my finger. "Together."

My eyes begin to water. "I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I can't… I don't… I wish…" Words fail me.

His forehead touches mine. "Shh… I know. Me, too."

I nod and hold him close to me, but the moment is cut short by Alice calling through the door and threatening to use her key to get in.

Edward and I both groan.

"She has a key?"

"God, I hope not. And seriously… that was the shortest five minutes in history."

I giggle. "I guess we better not test her then."

"No, I suppose not."

He moves away from me, standing so I can make an actual attempt to get out of the bed. As soon as I'm on my feet, he pulls me close to him and snakes his hands around my waist.

"Why don't you grab some clothes and head to the bathroom to get dressed? I'll let Deputy Doorbanger in."

I snort out a laugh as he smiles at me in amusement, then kissing my forehead before letting me go.

Before I can even shut the bathroom door all the way, I hear Alice groaning about how long we took. I roll my eyes, but hurry to make myself presentable anyway.

When I emerge from the bathroom a few minutes later, Alice is already seated and in the process of laying out a plethora of legal documents on the coffee table. She pauses when I make my over and looks up at me, one eyebrow arching as she takes me in.

"Long night, I take it?"

I stop in place. "Do I look that bad?"

She laughs and shakes her head. "No, you look that good. Congratulations, by the way. I hear they're in order."

I feel my face flame and look down, turning my ring around on my finger. "Yeah. Thanks."

"You're welcome. Now, come sit down. We have a lot to decide today and plenty to discuss."

I glance over at Edward, noticing he appears unfazed by Alice's announcement. He simply beckons me to join him on the sofa where he immediately wraps an arm around me and places a kiss in my hair.

Alice grins at us approvingly and then picks up a stack of papers, tapping them against the table to straighten them.

"All right then…" she begins. "Are you two ready for this? A new start? New life? New names?"

I must look like a deer in headlights, but not surprisingly, Edward's response is immediate and lacks any hint of doubt or uncertainty.

"I think we're past ready, Alice. Let's get this show on the road."

~(~)~

It's just after midnight when we finally reach the end of the long list of details Alice came here to settle. A few things are still up in the air, but the bulk of the important stuff has been decided. Things like names, potential careers, and places we both might like to live.

As it turns out, Edward and I both like the sun quite a lot, but want tall trees and a small town atmosphere to raise our child in. Imagine Forks in Florida or Southern California, if you will.

Of course, that was the easy part.

Living with choices we made tonight might be a bit harder, and it all starts to sink in the moment Alice is out the door.

"Holy cow…"

Edward nods his head and leans against the door he just locked behind Alice.

"Yeah, that was… something."

His eyes are a little unsettled, causing me to sit up and slide to the edge of the sofa before holding a hand out to him.

"Are you okay?"

He blinks a little and makes his way over. "I, uh… yeah, I'm fine. Are you all right?"

I nod as he sits on the coffee table in front of me, taking both my hands in his. I look at our intertwined fingers and try to put my thoughts in order.

"I'm good," I finally answer. "Well, I'm as good as can be expected, I guess. This is a difficult, or rather, an unusual situation."

Edward slides forward until our knees are touching and rubs one thumb across the back of my hand.

"You know, if you think about it… we're just getting married. Then we're going to move into a little house in a little town somewhere and have a baby. Not _so_ unusual."

I smile, feeling my cheeks heat with his words for some strange reason.

"No. Not when you put it that way."

He's quiet for a moment.

"I'm sorry we won't be able to have the kind of wedding you may have wanted."

I shake my head. "I wouldn't have been able to have that anyway. Not without my parents there. Or yours."

"I know, I feel the same way, but are you really okay with the doing it at the courthouse? Because I have no problem calling Alice back here and telling her we want a church and flowers, or hell, tell her to get a damn plane because we want to go to Vegas."

I can't help but smile at that. "That's sweet, but if you're going to do that you should demand they get your parents here at the very least."

He sighs. "Bella, love, you know I'd love them to be there, but I really do think it would be harder on my mom that way. Especially if they found out about the baby."

I swallow thickly. "You're right, of course. You know them best."

"So you're really all right with getting married the courthouse? Just us."

"Yeah, the courthouse will be fine. As long as we're actually getting married and not being handed a fake marriage certificate with our fake names on it and some random date that they pulled out of a hat."

Edward scoffs. "I cannot believe that was even an option. Is nothing sacred anymore?"

"Apparently not."

He leans forward and presses a small kiss to my lips. "Well, it is to me, baby. This is one thing I actually want to be able to tell the truth about. I don't want some fabricated story when it comes to our marriage. I want the real deal."

The passion in his eyes and sentiment behind his words cause my already fluctuating emotions to fly out of control and tears spill from my eyes before I can stop them.

"Hey… what'd I say?" Edward asks, obviously startled.

I shake my head. "Nothing."

"Nothing? This doesn't look like nothing."

I blush as he reaches up to gently wipe away the wetness on my cheeks, hating that I've gone from comfort_er_ to the one needing comfort_ed_ so easily.

"What's wrong, baby?"

I try to wave it off. "I'm just overwhelmed."

"Good overwhelmed, or bad overwhelmed?"

"Good, mostly."

"Mostly? Is this still about my family?"

"No, not really. You just make me so happy and you know how to say all the right things, and…" A shaky breath escapes me. "You're not the least bit intimidated by all this."

I gesture indiscriminately around the room causing Edward to half laugh, half sigh

"By 'all this,' I assume you mean the witness protection thing and not the luxurious accommodations we have here."

"Yeah, no, not that. All the other stuff."

He chuckles slightly. "Well, I had to check."

"Of course you did."

He chuckles again, then moves from the table onto the sofa next to me and pulls me into his arms.

"Look, Bella, I'm not going to lie. I'm a little nervous about some things: Having to start over…. Being able to remember all these details about our new identities…" His voice drops several decibels. "Being a good father."

I snuggle against him. "Really?"

"Yeah. But I think that's pretty standard, isn't it?"

"From what I hear, it is. Even _I'm _nervous about that part."

"See? So, I'm not worried. We're going to have a good life together."

My eyes start to fill again. "How can you be so certain of things all the time?"

"Because when you know, you know. You know?"

I smile, finding it impossible not to be amused by him. And comforted. "You're an idealist, do you _know _that?"

He gives me a gentle squeeze. "Yes."

I lift my chin and my lips brush against his neck. "And here I thought math teachers were supposed to be practical."

He lets out a long, low sigh. "Yes, well, it would be very impractical of me to let you get away again."

I hum an agreement and press my mouth to the sensitive spot beneath his ear. His quiet groan is instantaneous and a welcome distraction from the overabundance of concerns and doubts left behind in the wake of our session with Alice.

I shift my weight and feel him loosen his grip on me enough so I can sit up and climb into his lap, my legs resting on either side of his hips.

"What are you doing?" he asks, looking equal parts bewildered and turned-on.

I smile impishly and press my lips to his. He kisses me briefly, but is clearly waiting for an answer and pulls away.

"Bella?"

"I'm kissing you, silly. I thought that would be obvious."

A single eyebrow rises in challenge. "A minute ago, you were in tears."

I shrug. "You made me feel better."

He laughs. "Just like that?"

I sigh and cup his face between my palms. "Just like that. It's your gift."

"What is?"

"The ability to put all my fears to rest."

He looks dumbfounded for a moment and then pulls my face to his, kissing me gently. "Believe it or not, you do that for me, too."

His words bring on yet another rush of emotion, but I push it away, focusing instead on the incredible shade of his eyes and the way his fingers tangle in my hair just before he brings his mouth to mine once more.

Our lips caress first in soft, tender caresses that soon become ardent and sensual in no time at all. That ever-present spark between us ignites so easily —as it always has— and kiss by delicious kiss, any remaining anxieties left over from Alice's time with us tonight fall away.

Edward's shirt quickly falls away too, and when it hits the floor, I can't help but sit back and admire him. Even the newest part of him. His strength and positive outlook amaze and enamor me as my fingers trace the line of his scar, followed by my lips. I press them to the new skin softly and it's not long at all before I feel his body start to tremble and heave in response. I can't tell if it's the actual skin that is extra-sensitive, or the sentiment behind my actions that gets to him, but it's clear in either event that he's enjoying it.

His hands knead my back and hips, then move lower as I continue kissing him, shifting my attention to his collarbone and then his neck. I suck and nip along the line of his jaw until he finally can't take it anymore. Pulling me up, he presses me flush against him and attacks my mouth with ferocity.

There's an urgency in his kisses that I've not felt with him before. I pursue it with enthusiasm, not even letting his lips leave mine as he leans me back and lifts me until I'm seated on the edge of the coffee table. My hands grasp wildly at him as he removes first my shirt, then my pants, all while keeping his lips firmly attached to some part of my flesh.

When he stands to remove his jeans, we stop our passionate assault on each other just long enough to get the button popped and the zipper down. His mouth is back on mine again even while he shimmies the denim over his hips.

I try to help as much as I can, but he trips while pulling his legs free and nearly crashes on top of me and the coffee table in the process.

"Whoa…"

"Shit."

A crack from beneath us sends us both into hysterics as Edward pulls me to my feet quickly, kicking his pants loose at the same time. We're both still laughing when he sits back down on the sofa and extends his arms out to me.

The moment of brevity passes as his eyes flash at the sight of my naked body in front of him. I feel heat both rise to my cheeks and pool in my abdomen as his expression becomes one of hunger, rather than amusement.

"So beautiful," he says roughly.

My breath quickens as I ease back into his lap, my own smile fading into a puddle of desire as my body aligns with his. Rising up on my knees to take him inside me, I kiss him with all the love I feel for him in my heart and then slowly lower myself down.

Edward groans into our kiss as I move with agonizing slowness. I can't blame him. It's so…

"So good," he whispers, breaking away.

He's taken the words right out of my mouth, but, for some reason, the fact that he's the one to say them sends a new rush of desire coursing through me. Combined with the physical sensation of being connected with him, stretched by him, I'm nearly senseless. It actually takes me a moment or two to gain my bearings again and continue moving.

"Yes," Edward encourages when I do. "Yes."

I lift and lower myself once more, a little quicker this time, and he wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer. I run my hands up the back of neck and into his hair, burying my fingers in the soft strands as he buries his face in between my breasts.

Letting out a breath I didn't realize I was holding, I give into the sensations and roll my hips forward as I work to find a rhythm. He grunts in satisfaction and then takes one nipple between his lips, sucking hard. My sounds become embarrassedly loud, but I rise again with a roll of my hips then press my body down onto his in earnest. Over and over. Faster and faster.

When I start to grow winded, Edward grips my hips and thrusts upward to meet me. The increased friction causes my mouth to open in mute ecstasy and my back to arch against him. He makes a sound of approval and moves his mouth to the other breast before redoubling his efforts down below.

"Oh, God, Edward…"

It takes no time at all for my body to reach its peak this way and I begin trembling around him almost immediately as the first waves of ecstasy hit. He grips my hips harder in response and lifts his head, groaning out a single plea.

"Look at me."

I do.

And I explode — sensation after sensation coursing through me until I'm nearly drowning in it, until I'm tumbling, and falling, and taking Edward over the edge with me when I go.

~(~)~

We stay pressed tightly together long after we've both caught our breath. Eventually, when my hips and knees can't take anymore, we get up and make our way to the bathroom where we shower quickly and brush our teeth before heading back to bed.

Once in, I'm barely coherent enough to give a kiss goodnight, let alone have a deep conversation.

Edward, on the other hand…

"Bella?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm going to miss that. Calling you Bella."

I open my eyes to find his green ones staring back at me from his side of the bed. Reaching up to push a damp lock of hair away from his forehead, I force the fatigue away and try to smile.

"At least my new name is pretty close to my name now. Yours isn't even close." He frowns at that, so I add, "But I like it. It was a great choice, and we'll know what it means even if no one else ever does."

He smiles, too. "Yeah, I guess so. As long as you're okay with it."

"I am. What about you? Are you really sure you like my new name?"

"Hey… I get to marry one of my life-long fantasy dream girls. What's not to like?"

I roll my eyes. "Just as long as you don't try to stick to a theme or anything when we start naming our children."

He laughs, then scoots closer to me until we're practically nose to nose, our legs tangled together and his arms slung over my waist. "Children, huh? As in more than one?"

I blanch a little when I realize that I'd actually said that. _Where'd that come from? Can we get through the one baby first, please?_

Fortunately, he lets me off the hook. "It's okay, sweetheart. Why don't we start with the one we've got and go from there?"

I let out a small, relieved breath and nod. "I think that's a smart plan."

He chuckles and then kisses me softly. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"I know. It's just hard to think that far ahead right now."

I feel my eyes getting heavy again. "Honestly?"

"Of course."

"I'm thinking about five to ten minutes from now when I get to go to sleep."

He laughs. "Okay, point taken. Come here."

He rolls to his back and opens his arms to me. I willingly go, snuggling up to him with a smile etched on my face. "I love you, soon-to-be Mr. _Collins._"

He kisses the top of my head. "I love you, too, soon-to-be Mrs. Collins. Goodnight."

~(~)~

* * *

_**Well, I hope it didn't disappoint after such a long wait. Only one more chapter to go, plus the epilogue, and then we'll be saying goodbye to these two. It's a little bittersweet, but I can't wait! **_

_**Next update? I'll give a shout-out on Twitter and Facebook when I know how long it will be. It's about half-written at this point. **_

_**Until then…**_

_**Thank you all so much for sticking with me!  
~Ginnie**_


	23. Chapter 23

_Well, hello there! Long time no update, I know, I know. __But c'est la vie, mes amis__. 2012 was generally not kind to me in many ways. In other ways it was a blessed year beyond measure. In any event, it's a new year and, not only am I writing again, but I have finally managed to wrap this story up for you. Yes, that's right, this is the last chapter of Arms. There is an epilogue in the works, and I estimate that it's about halfway done as of today. So . . . enjoy this, and with any luck, I'll see you all in a week or two. Thank you for sticking with me, and many blessings to you all in 2013! _

_~Ginnie_

~o~_  
_

_***To recap:**__ Bella and Edward were separated eight long weeks after Bella's tragic past caught up with her and a rogue FBI agent tried to use her as a bargaining chip to get himself out of some hot water with the same crime family that murdered Bella's parents. Finally reunited, Edward refuses to consider letting Bella go again and has made the choice to join her permanently in the Federal Witness Protection Program. He had only one demand in exchange for giving up his identity and his family: for Bella to marry him "for real" before they leave Washington forever to assume new identities and begin a new life together. _

_****Warnings:**_ _The top of the chapter starts out a lot like the last one left off, but as for the rest, well . . . you may or may not want to have some tissues nearby._

* * *

Chapter 23:

_BPOV–_

His lies on his side next to me, his fingers grazing my body and his eyes wide with wonder. I blush and shiver, but smile as I watch him explore. He circles each breast, then my nipples. They're darker now thanks to pregnancy hormones, and the rapt attention he pays them tells me he's noticed.

It also has me squirming, but I enjoy watching him and witnessing his thoughts play out behind his eyes. A slight crease forms between his brow and stays long enough to make me wonder what he's thinking about this time. I can guess when I catch him open his mouth as if to speak and then close it again just as quickly.

"You're trying really hard not to ask how big they're going to get, aren't you?"

His eyes dart to mine, surprised, and then he laughs, lowering his hand to my stomach.

"You know me so well already."

I smile. "That's a good thing."

He leans over and kisses me. "Yes it is… especially since we're getting married today."

I giggle, a nervous but happy sound. "Yes, we are."

It's been a week since we made our decision and it's still just as surreal as it was seven days ago. _Married._ I'm going to be _married._

Somehow I always figured I'd be the kind of girl to have a long engagement, to do everything in the right order, at the proper time, and with the blessing of both sets of parents. Yet, here I am… my parents dead, his parents out of the picture, and me knocked up and getting married after a weeklong engagement. I can't help but be amused by the situation because the only other alternative is to be heartbroken.

My one comfort is that I've already told Edward all of this and he understands completely—if things were different, we would not be headed to the federal courthouse today. We might have been planning a _wedding_, as my amazing fiancé was quick to point out, but we would never have eloped.

He swirls a lock of my hair around his finger and stares down at me. "Are you having second thoughts? You look nervous."

I shake my head. "No second thoughts. I'm a little nervous, but excited. And at least I don't have to worry about tripping over my dress in front of a huge crowd of people."

He chuckles lightly. "That would have been something."

I whack his chest. "It wouldn't have been funny."

"Yes, it would have."

I roll my eyes. "Shall I trip for you today, then? I'm sure it could be arranged."

"Sure, why not. I'll catch you and it'll be a good story for the grandkids."

"Grandkids? Getting a little ahead of ourselves again, aren't we?"

He smiles and wags his eyebrows. "We'll see..."

I want to be exasperated by him, but I can't be. His positive outlook on our future is helping me more than he knows. His enthusiasm for sharing a life together and for having a family of our own is infectious. I've even caught myself humming lullabies and daydreaming about a backyard full of toys in the last two days.

It's such a change from how I've felt in the past two months. I like it, but I still feel a moderate amount of fear. If anything happened to either Edward or the baby I don't think I could survive it. I couldn't live through losing everything again.

A finger traces over my bottom lip. "Baby… where did you go?"

I sigh. "Nowhere. Just thinking." He gives me "the look", so I elaborate. "About how much you and this baby mean to me."

His green eyes search mine. "Feeling afraid again?"

I nod, unable to hide it from him. We've talked about this, too. About my fears, and his.

He slides his arms underneath my shoulders until I'm wrapped so tightly in his embrace that there's barely room to breathe between us.

"Want me to remind you again?"

"Yes," I whisper.

"Okay. We're safe, Bella. We're protected. Our baby is protected. No matter where we go, there will always be someone looking out for us. There will always be someone to help us when we're in trouble. Right?"

I inhale shakily and nod.

His nose nudges mine. "And we'll get a dog too. A big ass German shepherd."

I smile, but think about it for a moment and make a face. "Don't they shed a lot?"

He grins. "A Doberman Pinscher then, and you'll teach me to shoot."

I'm not so sure about that idea yet, so I move on. "We can get an alarm on the house we live in."

"Exactly, and we'll put bullet proof glass in both our cars."

I laugh as much as I'm able while squished against him. "Very funny."

He raises an eyebrow. "You think I'm joking? I'm as serious as a heart attack."

"You are not," I say, giggling.

"You're right, I'm not, but it got you laughing."

I bend my legs and wrap them around him, pulling him closer to me, if that's possible. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

He kisses me, slow and soft.

He pulls away, and although I can feel his body responding to the way I'm wrapped around him, he makes no move to take advantage of it. I wonder if he will, but honestly don't feel up to round two this morning.

Which reminds me…

"Do you think it's bad luck for us to be in bed together the morning before we get married?"

He seems taken aback by my question. "Are you serious?"

"I don't know. Maybe a little. Isn't it against tradition for the groom to see the bride before the wedding?"

"I think it's against tradition for the groom to get the bride knocked up before the wedding too."

"Nice."

"Oh, come on, I didn't mean anything by that. Besides, we're just making it legal, baby. I'm pretty sure God already considers us man and wife."

"What makes you say that? And since when are you a religious person?"

"I'm not, but I do believe in a higher power. Carlisle's father was an Anglican minister and I was given the same sex-talk he gave Carlisle. It included a lot of discussion about the emotional and spiritual aspects of sex and why those were the real reasons you should wait until you're married to start having it."

I arch an eyebrow. "I can see that was a very effective talk."

He laughs. "It was… for the most part."

"Uh-huh."

"What? It was! I was never interested in meaningless sex."

"So that first night…"

"Do you even have to ask? I was already in love with you then."

I smile. "I know, baby. I loved you then too."

~(~)~

The ride to the courthouse is quiet, but as soon as we arrive, we cause quite a commotion. At least six plain-clothes officers escort us every step of the way between the car and an unmarked stairwell. As we ascend, they surround us, which makes climbing the stairs a bit claustrophobic.

I'm relieved when we finally reach the sixth floor and, after waiting only a few moments for guards to clear and secure the hallway, we are taken to a conference room in the same part of the building we'd been in last week.

Once we're safe inside, we're allowed to remove the black, hooded windbreakers that we were given to wear while they were moving us. Alice takes them and even smoothes down my hair where the hood messed it up.

"Okay, we're going to do your photos for your new IDs first, as well as have you give us signatures in your new names. The office will use those to prepare all your documents so they'll be ready for you when you arrive in your new location. Just remember that you're not to mention your new identities to anyone, for any reason, until that time. Not even in this building. Everyone who needs to know that already does. Understand?"

Edward and I both nod, and I can't help but look at him and imagine calling him by his new name. It's hard to wrap my mind around, but if that's the least of our troubles from here on out, we'll be lucky.

"Obviously, the final order of business is getting you two married," Alice continues, smiling. Edward grips my hand a little tighter. "I've made arrangements with one of the judges to officiate, and we already mailed in your application for the license, so we just have to pick it up. I'm fairly sure I can convince them to hand it over, but if not, we'll have to escort one or both of you down there to pick it up before we proceed to the judge's chambers."

I nod and Edward says he understands.

"Any other questions for me about today?" Alice asks.

We shake our heads.

She smiles again, but for the first time, I notice there's something almost mischievous about it. "Okay, then. This should be pretty quick. I'll go let the office know you're here. Young and Uley will be right outside the door, so if you need anything, just knock."

She turns to go and then stops. "Oh, and Bella... there's a bathroom right there. Just in case."

She's gone before I can really respond and Edward and I are looking at each other incredulously.

"That was… odd."

He nods. "Yeah, didn't she radio in that we were here when we pulled in to the garage downstairs?"

I hadn't even thought of that, but he's right. "Yeah, she did."

"She's up to something. Or something's wrong."

I sigh. "I don't think anything's wrong or she wouldn't have left us."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. You might be right about her being up to something though. This is Alice we're talking about."

He frowns, looking at the door and I follow his gaze, listening. Muffled voices and footsteps sound for a moment, but then pass.

I turn and pull Edward towards a chair. "We might as well relax and get comfortable. There's no sense worry–"

Before I can finish my statement, he pulls me back and spins me around. I'm a little bit dizzy from the motion as he kisses me _deeply_.

"What was that for?" I gasp when he lets me go.

His eyes rove up and down the length of my body and he steps back, holding my hands out to the side. "I don't think I've told you yet how beautiful you are in that dress."

"Oh," I say, looking down at the simple, white, A-line garment.

I have to admit that it _is_ pretty, especially with the sapphire blue accessories that Alice chose to go with it—a thin patent leather belt and peep-toe shoes. In typical Alice style, they'd been a surprise. As are the new clothes she'd chosen for Edward.

His are as simple as mine, but just as nice. His new navy slacks and white pinstripe shirt actually match my outfit, but not obnoxiously so. In fact, with his top button left open and his sleeves rolled up, there is nothing obnoxious about him. I can't help but run my eyes over him, appreciating his form the way he did mine.

It's only the sound of his smooth laughter that brings me back the present.

"What?" I ask, looking up to find his highly amused eyes staring down at me.

"You'd think I was the one showing off all that leg with the way you were just looking at me."

My cheeks heat, but I just shrug. "It's not your legs . . . it's your arms."

"My arms?"

I nod. "The way you have your sleeves up? It's pretty sexy."

"You're kidding."

"Nope." I shake my head and reach up, snaking my arms around his neck while I press my lips to his. It's a quick kiss, but a good one.

"I'll keep that in mind in the future," he says when he pulls away.

We laugh and he takes me by the hand, sitting down before pulling me into his lap. His long fingers find my ring and play with it, while I run my free hand through his hair. It's one of those easy moments that require no words and it's nice to learn we can have those in the midst of a day as busy and profound as today.

I'm just about to see if Edward wants to play another round of twenty questions, something we've been doing a lot to pass the time and discover new things about each other, when the door opens and Deputy Young tells us to follow her. She and Uley escort us to the office of the U.S. Marshal for the Western District of Washington where Alice is waiting for us.

A half hour later, our pictures taken and our signatures saved for future use, we leave the office again—back in our black jackets with the hoods up—and head to the stairwell with our security team in tow. They escort us two flights down, where once again we wait on the landing outside the hallway until Alice gets the all clear.

When I glance up at Edward, I notice he's starting to perspire slightly and I wonder if it's dawning on him how seriously they take our security and why that is. It's hard to pretend that there isn't a clear and present danger to your life when six armed guards escort you everywhere you go. Squeezing his hand, I get his attention.

"You okay?"

He nods, smiles, and then kisses me. "Yeah."

"You sure?"

He takes a breath and nods again. "I'm good now."

There's no time to get into why he wasn't 'good' because it's time to move out into the hall. He keeps me close to his side as we go, which reassures me that it's most likely not cold feet he's experiencing. In fact, the way he's practically pulling me along makes it hard to deny his enthusiasm to get to our destination.

Then again, maybe he's just anxious to get out of the hallway.

Eventually we come to a door and Alice disappears inside with Young, leaving us with Uley and the rest of our protection detail.

Young pops her head back out a few moments later and ushers us inside an office with a small seating area to the right and a woman sitting at a desk to the left. In between them stands an impressive set of double doors, the large brass letters over the frame reading, _Judge's Chambers – The Honorable Judge Marcus Aro_.

Deputy Young says something to Uley while I take a deep breath to soothe the nerves that have suddenly flared up. Turning my head towards Edward, I see him doing the same.

He smiles down at me and lowers the hood off of his head. "Here we go."

"Yeah, here we go." A nervous giggle escapes me as I lower my own hood.

Deputy Young seems amused by us as she takes our jackets from us, telling us she'll hold them while we're otherwise occupied.

We thank her just as Alice opens the door to the judge's chambers.

"We're ready for you," she says.

Edward holds his hand out for me and I slide my hand into his with a thrill.

Now that the moment is here, I'm really, truly happy about it. Happy with the setting. Happy with the dress. Happy that it's just me and this man—the man I love and want to spend the rest of my life with—committing ourselves to each other.

It may not be what we might have _wanted _in a different circumstance, but it's perfect. Perfect and intimate and everything we _need._

Alice introduces us to the judge, an odd looking gentleman with wavy brown hair and an enormous forehead. He smiles and shakes our hands before asking if we had any preferences for our vows.

A quick glance at Edward and we're both shrugging.

"Traditional, I guess."

The judge nods and moves back behind his desk while Alice and Deputy Young move to stand on either side of us. I get a quick encouraging smile from Alice before my attention is drawn back to the judge.

He puts on a pair of reading glasses and smiles again at us.

"Today we are here to witness the legal union of you, Edward Anthony Cullen, and you, Isabella Marie Swan, as husband and wife. What we do today is done in conformity to the laws of the state of Washington and in the historical Western tradition of the act of marriage. Before we begin, I would like to confirm that you both have requested to be married and you are both here of your own free will and desire?"

Edward and I glance at one another, our hands clutching together a little tighter, and nod.

"Yes."

"We are."

The judge glances behind us. "Do either of the witnesses know of any reason why we may not legally continue with this wedding?"

Both deputies answer with a simple _no_.

"Very good, then we can continue."

The next few minutes are a blur and I'm suddenly feeling a bit sad that we don't have someone to record this day for us. I know I won't remember everything we say to each other and I want to. I want to remember every precious word, as simple as they are.

"To love you and care for you…"

"To accept you with all your faults and your strengths…"

"To be your shelter in times of trouble..."

"Forsaking all others, I choose only you, for as long as we both shall live."

Edward's warm lips kiss away the tears that accompany those final vows and the judge has to clear his throat to remind us we're not quite finished. Fortunately, he seems amused rather than rebuking, and continues without pause.

"Edward and Bella, you have made your vows. Do you now have rings that you wish to exchange?"

"Oh, I… I'm already wearing mine." I glance up at Edward questioningly.

"We'll get them another ti–"

Edward is interrupted by a not so subtle cough coming from behind me. Turning around, we're both surprised to see Alice is holding a small velvet bag up, swinging it from her fingers.

"You have rings."

Edward stutters out a thank you, but I throw my arms around Alice's neck and hug her.

"You think of everything. Thank you so much."

She chuckles and kisses my cheek before pulling away from me and handing me the bag.

"That's my job."

I hug her once more before turning around to face Edward. He takes the bag from my hand and then drops the rings into my waiting palm. The simple platinum bands are nearly identical except for their size.

"They're perfect."

I smile up at Edward as he takes my ring, and I hold onto his.

The judge says a few more words and then cool metal slides over my trembling finger and clinks against the ring already in place there.

Edward's eyes are exultant as I manage to return the gesture for him.

"I love you," he whispers, when it's in place.

"I love you," I echo, answering his smile.

And just like that, with one final declaration from the judge, we're married.

"Let it be known that these two people have exchanged vows and given and received rings in my presence and before these witnesses. According to the laws of these fifty states, I hereby pronounce they are husband and wife. Edward… you may kiss your bride."

The words seem to echo through the nearly empty chamber, taking my breath away even before Edward can. His joy fades into a tenderness that makes me tremble as he cradles my face between his hands and kisses me swiftly, purely, adoringly.

It's a perfect, timeless moment... the sealing of our vows and binding of our fates together.

When I open my eyes all I see is Edward. That is until a small movement catches the corner of my eye and I realize how carried away we'd gotten. I hide against Edward's chest a little as the judge congratulates us.

Edward shakes his hand. "Thank you, sir."

"A pleasure, my boy. I wish you both the best of luck."

He smiles at us and we smile back. I have to wonder if he knows more about us than he lets on, but don't ask him.

Alice clears her throat then and we turn to face her and Deputy Young. They congratulate us and Alice steps forward to wipe the tears from beneath my eyes.

"Look at you," she coos. "You're a mess."

I smile. "A happy mess. Thank you, Alice."

To my surprise, she frowns and shakes her head. "I hope you'll still be thanking me at the end of the day."

I go completely rigid next to Edward, feeling his hand tighten over mine at the same time.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

Alice turns to Deputy Young and asks her to give us a few minutes and have Uley get the car ready. I am clueless as to what's going on and glance up to see Edward's as worried as I am.

Instead of explaining the moment Young leaves the room, Alice waves the judge across the room and walks away.

"I'll be right back."

My mouth pops open to protest, but she's already gone. Edward and I watch apprehensively as Alice and Judge Aro speak in hushed tones near the door in the far corner of the room. Alice seems very serious, but the judge is relaxed. He nods and smiles, patting Alice's shoulder at last.

"I'm just glad I could help out."

He leaves through the far door, waving at us just before it closes behind him. Finally, Alice turns around and claps her hands together.

"All right, I need you both to listen to me. I have surprise, but it's not exactly… authorized. We won't have very long. You need to know that in advance."

I fist the material of Edward's shirt where my hand lies at his back, watching as Alice meets his eyes, then mine. I try to brace myself, but I'm not at all prepared for what she reveals.

"The Cullens are here."

_Oh, God…_

"They're waiting right now in one of the courtrooms adjacent to Judge Aro's chambers."

I gasp and next to me Edward starts in surprise, before letting out some odd combination of a shout and a whisper.

"Are you… are you serious?" he asks.

Alice nods, a small smile gracing her features.

"You both said you had one regret and _only_ one regret about getting married like this. All things considered, that's less than most people who are headed to the altar. I just thought…" She shakes her head. "After everything that happened, and all that's about to happen, you deserve at least this."

The relief and gratitude I feel on Edward's behalf is immense, but it's shocking nonetheless. She'd had us so convinced this wouldn't be possible. I don't think either of knows how to react.

I turn my head, facing him. "You get to say goodbye."

It barely comes out a whisper, but Edward hears it.

He gazes down at me, offering an awed smile. "So do you."

It's then that the gravity of Alice's surprise hits me.

Without having to face the Cullens in the flesh, I've been able to overcome most of the guilt I've felt in the last week and accept Edward's reassurances. Now, I can feel it all coming back with a vengeance. I'm about to find out for myself if they're really okay with his choice. If they're okay with _me._

I shake my head as if to argue with Edward. Why would they want to say goodbye to me? Why would they want to say anything to me? Why would they even want to look at me, knowing I'll be taking him away with me?

Edward sees the weight of my insecurities in my eyes and begins to say something, but there's a knock on the door interrupting us.

"Are you ready?" Alice asks.

Edward hesitates. "Umm…"

He lifts my chin to see my eyes, searching them. I know I have to be brave for him so I smile. This is for him. He needs this.

"It's okay," I reassure him. "They're your family. You need to say goodbye."

With a look of adoration he pulls me up into his arms, kissing me quickly before the door on the other side of the room creaks open.

Alice stands in front of it, one hand ready at her holster. The man asks her if we're ready, eyeing us briefly. Edward lowers me to the ground and gives my hand a gentle squeeze as Alice answers him. She turns to double check with us before allowing the Cullens inside, and when she sees we're ready, she reminds us of how little time we really have.

"You'll have fifteen… twenty minutes, tops. Okay?"

Edward nods in understanding and I digest Alice's warning, realizing quickly I need to buck up and allow the man at my side to make the most of the opportunity we've been given.

He glances down at me, and I take a centering breath before standing straight and taking a supportive stance at his side. Keeping one hand in mine, I wipe my eyes frantically with my free hand to try and hide my mini-breakdown.

Edward's breath tickles my ear. "It'll be fine, sweetheart. You look beautiful."

I breathe deeply and nod, plastering on a polite smile not a moment too soon.

Alice stands aside to reveal a teary eyed Esme Cullen standing in the doorway with Dr. Cullen right behind her. Over his shoulder I can see Edward's brother, sister, and a blond woman I've never met before. One glance at Edward and I can see him trying to place her as well before his eyes lock back on his mother.

Silence hangs heavily in the air, ripe with anticipation. I don't know what to expect and it appears everyone else is in the same boat. We all stand staring at one another until Esme breaks down and crosses the room pulling both Edward and me into a bone crushing hug.

"I love you," she cries. "I love you both, so much."

Caught off guard, I lose hold of my emotions the moment her declaration leaves her lips. Before I can stop it, I'm sobbing and clinging to this woman who has been nothing but kind to me since the day I met her. She has always been genuine, but at this moment, her love and acceptance of me are nothing short of amazing.

With whispered words she tells me how worried she's been for me, how sorry she is that they weren't there when everything went wrong in Forks. She tells me that she and Dr. Cullen prayed for me to be brought back to them, and reveals how badly Edward dealt with my absence. I want to apologize —for what exactly, I'm not sure—but she simply whispers in my ear that she couldn't fault me for falling in love with her son and then hugs me tight when I try to apologize again.

"Stop it, what's done is done. You love him. He loves you." She pulls back to brush the hair from my face, wiping my tears as she does. "He loves you so much."

I nod and sniffle as I attempt to say that I love him the same. That she won't have to worry about me ever taking him for granted. She simply hushes me and pulls me back into her embrace. Edward's arm is wrapped around both of us, across my back.

His thumb rubs soothing circles as he speaks quietly to his mother while I cry. "She's been feeling such guilt. It's tearing her up."

Esme sighs. "She's been through so much. I'm just glad we got a chance to see you both so we could tell her we understand." Her voice lowers, but I can hear the tremor in it. "It's not like any of this is her fault.

"You hear that?" she asks me directly. "None of this is your fault. We don't blame you, sweetheart. We're just sorry we don't get to keep you."

Her arms tighten around me, her voice cracking over the last of her words. I'm fairly sure she mouths something else to Edward and I can feel him respond by increasing the pressure of his hand on my back.

Eventually, after a few more words, Esme is persuaded to hand me off to the others. Dr. Cullen is first, his hug less familiar than Esme's but his eyes and words just as kind. Emmett is both more enthusiastic than his parents, and at the same time, more emotional. He feels terrible for letting me go the day Edward was shot and tells me he wished he'd known to hide me away himself. He's also quite glad to see me again, and most especially glad to see me with Edward.

It's only when he says congratulations and asks to see the ring that I realize the Cullens were informed of our purpose here today. I'm stunned, and look around to see how everyone else is taking the news.

No one seems upset or particularly surprised. I glance at Edward and he shrugs. It seems he really did prepare his family for this. There is actual laughter and genuine excitement as they each take a look at my engagement ring and our matching wedding bands. Edward fills them in on the brief ceremony, and for a moment everything feels almost normal.

At least it does until I catch sight of Alice checking her watch. Quite suddenly there's just not enough time.

No time to tell my almost family just how much I wish things could be different. No time to convey what they've meant to me, or how grateful I am that they took me in to their home and brought me to the love of my life. There's definitely not enough time to tell them how sorry I am that they'll never know or even see their grandchild, niece or nephew.

The mere thought of what I'm taking from them sends me reeling and I begin to panic. They should know. We should tell them.

But how can we? What good will it do?

An endless stream of apologies flows from my lips. They try so hard to convince me that no one blames me for anything, but they don't know what I' m really apologizing for.

It makes me feel terrible until Tori—who has remained silent on the side of the room with the unknown blond woman—gets everyone's attention with a completely unexpected show of support.

"Don't apologize for making my brother happy, Bella. Or for being the kind of woman worth sacrificing for."

I blink, my thoughts crashing to a halt. The rest of the room falls silent and with a sad smile, Tori takes a step forward. The blond standing next to her smiles encouragingly, and all at once, Tori is a softer, more vulnerable version of herself.

"I know my brother, Bella. If he'd risk never seeing us again just to be with you, it's because you're worth it. So you can't apologize for that." She shakes her head with a wry smile. "Just like I can't."

In a move that seems to leave everyone even more shocked than they'd already been by her overture, she turns and reaches for the hand of the woman behind her. Their fingers weave together and the blond steps closer to Tori. Tori smiles at her, adoration clear in her expression, even as I watch her steel herself to look back at the rest of us.

She smiles somewhat sheepishly, her gaze drifting from me to Edward before speaking. "This is Jaime... she's _my_ Bella."

Holy cow.

Looking around, it's obvious that this is very new information to most everyone in the room. I find myself inhaling quickly—not from the shock of Tori introducing a woman as her beloved—but because the sentiment behind her words is overwhelming. It washes though me, filling my chest with warmth. I am more than a little overcome that Edward's sister would both accept and affirm his feelings for me in such a deeply personal way.

_She's my Bella…_

The words echo through my head again. Can she really mean she accepts and respects Edward's choice to leave his family behind? As if to confirm my thoughts, Tori smiles up at an equally stunned Edward.

"I'm sorry I was so hard on you about everything. I was being a hypocrite. Well, I was also being a jealous brat because of how easily Bella fit in and got along, but as soon as I found out you loved her as more than a sister, I was a complete hypocrite. I…" She stops suddenly and takes an unsteady breath. "I've been with Jaime for two years. I've been hiding the woman I love for two years because I wasn't willing to risk losing you guys, or risk you never speaking to me again if you couldn't accept who I am. I just… I've been a coward and I've been unfair to everyone involved, but you… you, Edward, made me brave. You showed me what it means to love someone, truly love someone, damn the consequences."

Edward takes a heavy breath and clears his throat. "Tori… I…"

He shakes his head, seeming at a complete loss until he eventually gives up trying to say anything and goes to her. He pulls his sister into a somewhat awkward embrace, and she warps her arms gingerly around him in return before mumbling into his chest.

"I'm still mad at you," she says, her voice barely audible.

He releases her and though his back is to me, I can imagine his questioning gaze. Tori shrugs and wipes her eyes.

"I'll probably always be a little mad at you for going and falling in love with the one girl you had to give up everything for. I just won't blame you for it. Because I get it . . . I think we all get it."

Relief courses through me with her words and I can feel the change in Edward when he tucks me back under his arm. I wrap my arm around his waist and lean into him. He pulls me close and looks down at me, his smile lighter thanks to the weight that's been lifted from both of us.

After a moment I meet Tori's gaze, wanting to thank her—to say something to her—but she simply smiles and glances between us. "Just take care of each other."

Edward squeezes my waist and inclines his head toward his sister's girlfriend. "You too. Be happy."

Tori's eyes water and her voice falls to a whisper. "You be happy, too."

And just like that, without it being stated out loud, the time has come to say goodbye.

Emmett is the first to say the words. "So, this is it then."

Edward looks at everyone. "If we could stay . . . "

"We know," Dr. Cullen says, stopping Edward's apology.

Emmett steps forward. "He's right, man. We know."

Edward seems frozen for a moment then grabs Emmett in a typical man-hug.

He whispers hoarsely. "Love you, bro."

Emmett's voice is just as rough. "You too, Ed. Always."

They release each other and Emmett squeezes his brother's shoulder, nodding towards me. "Take good care of her."

I smile, feeling my cheeks heat as he turns his attentions on me.

"You take care of him too, okay?"

I nod and he opens his arms to me. I step forward and accept the gesture with a lump in my throat.

"I will. Thank you for everything, Emmett. I'm so sorry for—"

"No, no." He interrupts me. "No more of that. You're one of us now. Remember that, and just know that I'll never _ever _be sorry I answered Alice's call."

His words move me to tears once again and he holds me while I cry, rocking me back and forth like a big brother should.

I sniffle against his chest. "Thank you."

"I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

Behind us, I hear Carlisle struggle to clear his throat and Esme's breath hitch. There's a rustle of clothes and a moment of silence before Edward speaks in a choked voice.

"It's okay, you guys. We did this once already."

I turn from Emmett's arms just in time to see Carlisle offer his son a parting embrace. When they separate, Edward gives his father's shoulder a tight squeeze.

"I hope I can be as good a father someday as you've been to me. As good a husband as you've been as well."

Carlisle blinks and swallows thickly. "You will be."

The share a long look and then Edward nods and turns his gaze on his mother.

"Mom…"

Esme smiles through her tears and reaches up to push a strand of wayward hair across Edward's forehead. He wraps his arms around her small shoulders and she takes a ragged breath, straining to muffle her cries as she moves to hug him back.

"Don't cry, Mom."

"I'm sorry. It's just . . ." She shakes her head and looks up at him, waving a hand in front of her eyes as if that will stem her tears. "It's your wedding day. Even if you weren't leaving, I would be crying."

I feel a flicker of a smile lift my lips and Edward chuckles. He kisses the top of her head.

"Happy tears, I hope."

"I think they would have been."

She glances around his shoulder at me and holds a hand out. "Come here, sweetheart."

My breath catches and my eyes fill with tears anew as I comply. Edward turns halfway and reaches for one hand while his mother takes the other. I don't dare look at him right now or I'll crack into a thousand tiny pieces. Instead I focus on the look of love and determination in Esme's green eyes.

"My son loves you very much."

"Yes," I answer, too emotional to say more.

"You love him the same?"

I nod and sniffle indelicately. I want to say, "more than I ever thought possible," but the lump in my throat won't allow it. Esme seems satisfied though.

She looks back and forth between us for a moment and then takes a deep breath. "I'm going to tell you a secret now, okay? And this is my one shot at doing the mother-in-law thing, so pay attention."

Edward and I both laugh at that and she smiles before she continues.

"Neither one of you are perfect, kids. Neither one of you will be able to meet the other's every want and need. You are going to hurt each other, and say things you don't mean, and disappoint each other terribly sometimes. That's just what happens when two individuals try to live as one."

She stops for a moment and has to take a breath to hold her emotions at bay. I give up completely and lean into Edward, my vision blurred by tears and my lips trembling.

"You two have a lot going against you, but if you're committed to seeing it through, anything is possible. Even 'happily ever after'."

Edward's lips press against my temple, their warmth soothing. I turn my head to look at him and I know what he's going to say even before he says it.

"That sounds good to me."

I smile through my tears. _Me too._

~(~)~

_THE END _

* * *

_**I'll have the epilogue up ASAP, and thank you again for sticking with me. Your love and kindness has meant the world. **  
_


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